Witchful Thinking Part 2

aThe witch is in c.o.o.ntainment aere in this village, la.s.s,a Odran answered before joining in on the song. His deep baritone pealed through the cloudless sky, and I couldnat help tapping my toe to the beat as he sang.

And he played upon a ladle A ladle, a ladle And he played upon a ladle And his name was Aiken Drum.

aBella is under surveillance by two fae guards, Jolie,a Rand confirmed. He just shook his head in wonder as Odran suddenly rose up like a snapping anglerfish and grabbed the waist of a fairy woman whoad sauntered too close. He carried her into the courtyard and set her back on her feet, embracing her with a kiss. Iam not sure if what happened next would be considered dancing or an indecent public display.

I glanced at Rand, who smiled before turning to Mercedes again, his jaw tightening.

aJolie said you brought her back in time?a he asked. Mercedes simply nodded. aWhy?a Mercedes glanced at me with slight annoyance before returning her gaze to Rand. aSimplea"she was about to be killed, so I saved her.a aYet when you sent her back to the present, she was immediately killed,a Rand pointed out while I swallowed the last three gulps of ale and refilled my empty mug with just a thought.

Mercedesa lips tightened into a white line. aI had no control over the exact moment we would return and it just so happened that my timing was off a a bit. But may I remind you I brought Jolie back from the dead.a Rand nodded. aYes, Iam well aware of that.a He was quiet for another three seconds. aWhy did you need to bring Jolie back into the past in order to save her?a Mercedes arched a brow as if to say that she didnat appreciate being interrogated. aI did not do it just to save Jolie. I also needed her magic to help transport me into the present.a aAh,a Rand said, a smile void of humor pasted on his full lips. aIn reality, then, you were using Jolieas powers to help yourself?a aRand, if she hadnat escaped 1878, shead have been killed by Lurkers,a I interrupted, becoming increasingly uncomfortable with Randas persistence.

aLurkers?a Rand repeated in a dubious tone, although he knew only too well who the Lurkers werea"a group of humans who were part vampire and thus possessed incredible strength but could tolerate daylight. The Lurkersa sole purpose was to destroy the creatures of the Underworld. They often lacked any sort of unity, though, so they were more like marauding guerrillas than soldiers, killing our kind whenever the opportunity arose. And, no, their attacks werenat limited to vampires. Any sort of Underworld creature was fair game. Apparently they had posed a big enough threat to Mercedes to make her flee 1878.

aYes,a Mercedes interjected while offering me a grateful smile. aI saw the Lurkers kill me in a vision. When I realized I could harness Jolieas energy and powers to help me out of my predicament, I acted on it.a aAnd you call yourself the prophetess?a Rand prodded, his tone revealing his disbelief and, furthermore, his impression that she must be a charlatan.

aI do not call myself anything. Your kind chose to give me that t.i.tle.a Rand, canat you see her aura? I thought the words.

As I mentioned earlier, I have the ability to see peopleas auras. Humans usually have pink or violet glows about them; yellow or orange for those who are sick.

While witches might have more distinctive auras than humans, Mercedesa was a rainbow of colors that billowed off her in blues, purples, yellows, oranges, and reds. It was spectacular to say the least.

Yes, of course I can.

Then why donat you believe her?

aBecause it is Randas nature to distrust,a Mercedes said, answering my question.

I gasped in a mouthful of air. So Mercedes could hear our telepathic conversations a She was the prophetess and then some.

aYou would have us blindly accept that you are who you say you are?a Rand demanded, apparently unimpressed by rainbow auras and telepathic eavesdroppers.

Mercedes shook her head. aOne of lifeas lessons is to learn how to trust in the things over which we have no control.a aGood luck,a I snickered, thinking Rand wasnat exactly the blindly trusting type.

Rand said nothing as he downed his cup of ale. Mercedesa attention s.h.i.+fted back to me.

aYou have much to learn as Queen, Jolie.a aSuch as?a I glanced at Rand, trying to decipher whether or not he would argue against my being Queen. But he merely sipped his ale and watched Odran. The fairy King continued to engulf the poor fairy woman in a wet, urgent kiss, looking like he was trying to swallow her in one shot.

aMagic, history of all creatures, leaders.h.i.+p, and propriety.a Mercedes itemized, ticking off the list of my lessons on her fingers.

aWhoa, what?a I questioned. aPropriety?a Mercedes nodded. aIf you are to represent the Underworld, you must do so with the utmost grace.a This job was looking worse and worse by the minute. aWhat about freedom of choice?a I started, remembering Randas words. aWhat if I donat want this job?a Mercedes seemed indifferent as she answered. aThere is no choice, no free will. There is only fate and destiny. And this is your fate.a Rand stood up and turned to me with a frown. Before I could say anything, he simply walked away. I wasnat sure if I should follow him and was toying with the idea when I felt Mercedesa hand on mine. I glanced at her in surprise.

aThere is unharnessed power inside you, Jolie. You have no idea what you are capable of. It is up to me to direct that power and shape it.a I didnat know what to think. Yes, I constantly amazed myself as I learned more about my powers, but this did seem over the top. And I still hadnat exactly decided whether or not I liked the idea of being Queen.

aWhen does my training begin?a I asked in a small voice.

aImmediately,a Mercedes replied. aAs soon as we return to Pelham Manor.a So awea were returning to Pelham Manor. I could only wonder what Rand would think about that little arrangement.

aRand will want you to be close to him, and if I am part of your entourage, there will not be much he can say,a Mercedes finished with a self-impressed smile.

I glanced at her in surprise. aWhat, you can read my mind too?a She shook her head and laughed. aNo, I can read your expression. And I can hear any thoughts you ideate.a aThatas why you could hear my conversation with Rand? Because I was broadcasting it?a I asked, trying to fathom the extent of her powers. She just nodded, which was a relief. I mean, who in the heck would want to have their innermost thoughts and secrets overheard? Not me.

Now it was my turn to throw a wrench into Mercedesa plansa"a wrench named Christa. aMy next stop is Australia, not Pelham Manor,a I said with finality.

aAustralia?a Mercedes repeated, and the surprised look on her face was an absolute Kodak moment. It was a shame I didnat have my camera.

aYep, I have to go get my best friend.a Before the battle with Bella had started, Rand had arranged for Christa (who lived at Pelham Manor and acted as Randas a.s.sistant) and me to travel to Australia, out of harmas way. Also, if Bella was victorious, Christa and I could have lived there off her radar.

When I rebelled and insisted on fighting in the battle rather than chaperoning my best friend, I had to charm Christa to go on by herself with the promise that Iad come get her as soon as the battle was over. If I was still alive.

Well, the battle was over and I was still alive.

aIt is too dangerous.a Mercedes shook her head as if to emphasize the point. aYou are a Queen now, you cannot concern yourself with such commonplace trivialities.a Anger started boiling up inside me, which, mixed with countless pints of ale, was enough to give me a stomachache. aMy best friend means more to me than being Queen.a Mercedes shook her head again like I wasnat getting it. aIt is not about her being more important to youa"you have a duty to the creatures of the Underworld. Only you have the ability to unite them against a threat larger than Bella.a aA larger threat?a I repeated, wondering what the h.e.l.l she was going on about.

aThe Lurkers, Jolie.a aBah.a I waved my hand at her dismissively. aThey arenat a threat at all.a To me, they were more like a bunch of half-vampires with fang envy. A ma.s.sive problem? I didnat see it.

aLesson one: Never underestimate your enemies,a Mercedes said in a harsh voice. aYour duty now is to your people.a aMy people,a I repeated, standing up, and throwing my hands on my hips as I thought about free will, which I still believed in. Just as Rand had said earlier, this was my choice. I didnat have to succ.u.mb to a destiny that was thrust upon me. I could resist it. aI have no peoplea"Iam not a Queen and Iave never wanted to be one.a I took a deep breath before facing her again in all my anger. aIam done with this farce.a Then, dramatically, I spun on my heel in a great display of outrage and walked away, wondering if it could possibly be that easy to leave the t.i.tle of Queen behind me.

JOURNAL ENTRY.

What to write about today a Well, since I canat seem to get him off my mind, I might as well talk about Rand a gosh, where do I even start? Iave already mentioned that heas an incredibly gifted warlock. His magic is probably among the strongest out there a well, of the witches and warlocks anyway. One time I watched him spar with Odran and Rand held his own. He is probably more equally matched against Sinjin, who has an unG.o.dly amount of strength and speed. As a vampire, Sinjin can bewitch his prey just by looking at her, but luckily for me his powers donat work on witches. And unluckily for me, my powers donat work on vampires.

I wouldnat say Rand is the strongest force out therea"I know some fairies who could rival him, namely Mathilda. Really, Mathilda taught Rand everything he knows. And I think Mercedes could make short work of him. Well, she could make short work of just about anyone.

I think I also might have mentioned the fact that Rand is absolutely beautiful. Even though heas one of the handsomest men Iave ever seen, itas not even his looks that intrigue me anymorea"itas the man inside. Rand is the n.o.blest, most loyal and honorable person Iave ever met. He is fair, honest, and responsible. He would make the best husband and an equally fantastic dad.

And thereas the rub. A huge part of me suffers when I think about ita"about a white picket fence and the little house on the corner with two kids running through the yard while I bake brownies and Rand comes up behind me, surprising me with a kiss.

The problem is that Rand and I will never have that little fairy tale. And Iam not even talking about problems like whether or not Rand will support me as Queen or what heall think about the fact that we bonded. What Iam talking about is the fact that witches have an incredibly difficult time carrying a pregnancy to term. As I understand it, this is only the case in witch-to-witch unions. I wouldnat have a problem carrying a fairy baby or a were baby or a human baby. Vampires canat procreate so that isnat even something worth consideringa"although strangely enough the idea has crossed my mind a casually of course. But witches and warlocks successfully having offspring together is very unlikely, which is why our race is dwindling.

I still havenat figured out where the witch gene was in my family. Rand said there must be a witch somewhere in my lineage because the gene was pa.s.sed down to me. It didnat require that my mother or father be in any way witch-like, which must be true because neither of them is, or in my fatheras case was.

Idealistic family life aside, I always seem to find myself in a quandary where Rand is concerned. He has this pervasive sense of morality, and while I love him for it, he can also be beyond frustrating. Sometimes I wish he would just give in to his desires and act on them rather than a.n.a.lyzing everything into the ground. But Rand wasnat always like thisa"in fact, he used to be pretty different.

What Iave realized is that Iam in love with two mena"the Rand I met in 1878 and the Rand I know today. And although I love the modern Rand more, a part of me bemoans the loss of my 1878 Rand. I canat help but flood my mind with memoriesa"memories of a Rand who was less complicated, who acted on his desires, and who wasnat familiar enough with magic to worry about its consequences.

I play that stupid game of awhat ifa with myself all the time. What if I were offered the option to return to 1878 and live out the remainder of my years with 1878 Rand? Would I take it? I donat honestly know that I would. I mean, if it were just a question of love, maybe I would, but as silly as it sounds, then Iad miss my modern Rand. Besides, thereas so much I have to do in my own time, I doubt Iad be able to bail on the here and now. And then thereas Christa, my best friend. I could never leave her behinda"yes, I would miss her and all that, but more important, I donat know that Christa could really take care of herself. aCourse, she does have her werewolf boyfriend, John, to keep her company and out of trouble. But even so a I guess none of it really matters anyway, and thoughts like these are just a waste of my time. Iall never be able to go back to 1878 Rand, and for that I am sorry.

I couldnat get Rand out of my mind, thoughts of him in 1878 running headlong into one another. There was something inside me that was broken, something that yearned for the love wead shared in the past. And while I couldnat send myself back to 1878, I could re-create my memories.

I wasnat sure if it was warranted but I felt guilty as I held my hands up, palms facing each other. Guilty about the fact that I shouldnat have been living in the past, shouldnat have been focusing on memories that could never be anything other than reruns.

A whitish light began to build between my hands. The more I focused, the brighter the light became, until I could barely make out the outline of my fingers. I closed my eyes and forced myself to remember, forced myself to bring to life a memory of a time long gone.

When I opened my eyes, I smiled, but there was a sadness in me as I focused on the images wavering between my hands.

It was Christmas in 1878 and Rand had just appeared in Pelham Manor like Santa Claus himself, laden with an enormous bag of presents. Pelham had been alive at the time, and together with his sister, Christine, the four of us had celebrated the best Christmas Iad ever had. I smiled as I watched the images of merriment made possible by my magic. It was with a sad heart that I continued watching, as Pelham and Christine left Rand and me alone. I knew well what would happen next, but I couldnat tear my gaze away from the reel playing out before me. In watching it, I felt as if I were there, experiencing the same feelings all over again a aWe shall be along momentarily,a Rand said in response to Pelham, as his friend turned to inquire if we would follow him into the dining room.

Rand dropped his head and kissed me. I wrapped my arms around him and returned his thrusting tongue. He pulled away from my embrace and reached for his coat, which head draped over the coatrack. Flakes of melted snow wetted the stone hearth. He fished inside the coat pocket and returned with a small gift, wrapped in silver foil.

He handed the gift to me and I reached out, accepting it. I tore the paper off, letting the silver foil fall to the ground. Rand lowered himself to one knee at the same time that I flipped open the box to find a ring. It was a brilliant sapphire encircled by white diamonds that reflected the firelight onto the walls, like a prism.

aI love you, Jolie. And I want you to be my wife.a I shut my eyes to stifle the pain that suddenly overcame me. G.o.d, if only I could stay with him and play full-time homemaker. If only I could enjoy him warming my bed each night and sharing the rest of our lives together. But I knew it was useless. I couldnat stay here. Not when so much depended on Mercedes and me returning to the present.

aRand,a I started.

He took the ring out of the box and slid it onto my finger. It fit a perfectly. aIt was my motheras. And now I want you to wear it.a aItas beautiful, Rand, but aa He stood up and kissed me again, erasing my concerns with his urgent lips. When he pulled away, his face was flushed. aNo more talk of returning to your own time, Jolie. Not when you would be endangering yourself. I simply will not hear of it again.a aRand aa aIf ever your safety is in jeopardy, that is enough for me to refuse.a aI canat stay here,a I protested softly. Randas attention focused on my hands, which he clasped in his. I tightened my grip as I felt new tears rolling down my cheeks. aI have to go, Rand, and I have to bring Mercedes with me. There is too much at stake if I remain here.a aWhat is at stake aside from your safety if you return?a I swallowed hard. aRand, Mercedes will die if we remain.a He gazed with an expressionless face toward the fire. He didnat answer but remained staring intently at the flames as they crackled and hissed. Finally he turned to me with a face full of pain. aThen we could send her back alone,a he stated, almost desperate. aI cannot lose you, Jolie.a I shook my head. aMercedes is the prophetess and it was my mission to come here and take her back with me. We have a master plan to fulfill. I canat abandon my responsibility.a aJoliea"a Rand started when Pelham suddenly appeared in the doorway.

aCripes, old man, are you joining us?a Rand nodded, but continued to stare at me. aMomentarily.a Pelham returned to the dining room.

aWill you consider my proposal?a Rand asked.

I nodded and marveled at the ring on my finger as it gleamed, representing a life of happinessa"the life Iad always wanted. Dammit all, for one moment Iad pretend this could really be. Just for one moment. aYes, of course.a Rand held out his arm and I ran my hand over the fine material of his sleeve, allowing him to escort me into the dining room. Yes, Iad pretend that Rand and I really could be a couple. That Christmas was truly a time for miracles.

Silver linens covered the table, where a huge centerpiece of red roses, oranges dotted with cloves, and pine boughs dominated. Tall red tapers illuminated the great length of the table, which contrasted with the snow plastering the windowsills outside and the fire crackling in the hearth inside. It was a Christmas scene to end all Christmases, bar none. I sat opposite Rand, beside Christine, who seemed to be studying us intently. Once she caught sight of the ring on my finger, her grin grew exponentially. She picked up my hand and inspected it, suddenly addressing her brother.

aIt seems congratulations are in order,a she began while displaying my hand in the air for Pelham to see.

Surprise was his only expression and he thumped Rand heartily on the back, beaming. aBalfour! You are a sly fox after all.a He hugged Rand, eyeing me. aYou will have the loveliest bride in all the s.h.i.+res, old man.a Rand regarded me and nodded, his eyes deep pools of chocolate brown. aI am quite aware, Pel, I am quite aware.a The images began to fade away and the white light between my hands slowly died, until all that was left between them was air. I couldnat help the smile on my face, but it was bittersweet.

Two days had pa.s.sed since the celebration, and now we (as in our entire legion) were stationed at Pelham Manor again to figure our next steps. It was like old times. Prior to the battle, the legion had been based at Randas English estate so that the soldiers could train with one another, sparring in practice for the battle. And now here we were again; it was like wead come full circle.

The reason Rand had wanted everyone to return to Pelham Manor was twofold. First, he wanted all of the creatures to have a say in what their futures would entaila"and that would require lots of meetings. Second, we had to rebuild our army. Many creatures had died on the battlefield and needed to be reanimated, and it was easier to take roll when all the creatures were a.s.sembled in one area. As to the deceased, we had buried them on the battlefield of Culloden, knowing when the time came for me to reanimate them, their bodies would merely disappear, resurrecting themselves into live flesh and blood at my behest.

As we sat around the expansive mahogany table in Randas dining room, I was proud. Proud of Rand, proud of our side, and proud of myself. We had fought and died alongside one another to protect ourselves and future generations. And now I could give back. It felt good to be able to do soa"to offer the gift of life, or in my case, re-life.

Because not all of the creatures stationed at Pelham Manor could fit into Randas dining room, each race had elected officials to represent their interests. Seated at the table were Rand and me, who represented all witches; Mathilda and Odran, who stood for the interests of the fae; Mercedes, representing herself; Trent, a were, who represented other shape s.h.i.+fters (and unfortunately for me also happened to be my ex-boyfriend); and Varick, who stood for the vampires. Varick was a master vampire and one of the oldest. He was also Sinjinas employer.

Employment in the vampire world was pretty different from a bossa"employee relations.h.i.+p in the human world. For starters, an employer, such as Varick, was usually much older than his protg and therefore much stronger. Although Varick wasnat Sinjinas creator, Sinjin had been a.s.signed to the older and stronger vampire in order to train and learn. If Varick was ever killed, Sinjin would take his place.

Speaking of Sinjin, he was still nowhere to be found, and as the days pa.s.sed I became more and more worried. It was bizarre that he wasnat in attendance, that he wasnat at Varickas side, especially when the two had always worked in such close proximity.

aHave you heard from Sinjin?a I whispered to Varick, leaning into him so I wouldnat pull any attention away from Rand, who was in the middle of an uninteresting discussion with Odran.

aI have not,a Varick answered in a monotone. As stunningly s.e.xy and attractive as Sinjin was, Varick was anything but. He had the look of a carrota"tall and skinny with pasty white skin and flaming orange hair. Still, he possessed the aura of power that seemed to accompany all vampires.

aThe last time I saw him was on the battlefield,a I began, feeling the worry eat away at my gut as I remembered the expressions of disbelief, anger, and sorrow in Sinjinas eyes as I died right in front of him. aHe watched me die, Varick, and then he just disappeared. And I havenat seen or heard from him since.a aNeither have I,a Varick answered in the same indifferent voice.

His apathy angered me. How could he be so callous, so uninterested, when he and Sinjin had worked together for hundreds of years? How could he care so little?

aArenat you worried?a I demanded in a harsh voice. Varick turned his full attention to me, and something feral in his eyes warned me not to upset him. I had to swallow my trepidation. aI mean, arenat you worried that maybe heas in trouble?a If Iad been a dog, my tail would have been firmly planted between my legs as I circled Varickas feet and begged for a good scratching right between the ears.

aIn trouble?a Varick responded with a chuckle that revealed anything but humor. Nope, Varick was someone you didnat cross. It was like he was just aching to rip out your throat. But he also had to know that messing with me wasnat a good ideaa"not with Rand and Mercedes in the room. One lunge at me and theyad open up a can of whoop-a.s.s on Varick faster than he could say abloodsucker.a aIsnat it kind of c.r.a.ppy that youare so nonchalant about the fact that Sinjin is MIA?a I asked, feeling stronger in my own skin.

aAnd perhaps you would care to enlighten me as to why you are so interested?a Varick retorted in the same monotone that grated on my nerves.

aSinjin is my friend,a I replied with narrowed eyes. aAnd I care about my friends. If heas in trouble, I want to know.a Varick raised both brows as if he didnat quite believe the whole aSinjin is my frienda story. I held my tongue but didnat look away. Finally, Varick realized I wasnat about to admit anything else, and he dropped his patronizing expression.

aSinclair is not in trouble. He is most probably causing it.a Yeah, I had to concur with him on that one. Sinjin was a troublemaker, if nothing else. I leaned back in my seat and sighed, hoping the nervous energy in my stomach would dissipate. But I didnat imagine it would until Sinjin was actually standing in front of me, in his usual attire of black on black, with that flirty smile Iad come to know so well. Only then could I a.s.sure myself he was okay.

aI can feel him in my veins,a Varick whispered, leaning closer to me. The cold of his body pierced my skin, making me s.h.i.+ver. I resisted the urge to pull away because if anything, thatas what he wanted me to do. He glanced down at the goose b.u.mps that were now covering my forearm and smiled in sincere amus.e.m.e.nt. It was obvious that he enjoyed his immense power.

aButa"a I was ready to argue that if Sinjin was okay, head be sitting around this table probably playing footsie with me while I attempted to rebuff his advances.

aSet aside your concerns,a Varick interrupted, shaking his head as if to say the conversation was over.

Hmm a jerk though Varick obviously was, his words brought me some sort of relief. The more I thought about the fact that Varick could feel Sinjin in his veins, the better I felt. That meant Sinjin was alive a well, as alive as a vampire could be. Yet if Sinjin was alive, why wasnat he here at Varickas side? Was Varick irritated by Sinjinas absence? Would he hurt him?

I glanced at Varick again, trying to decide if anything seemed amiss about him. He definitely appeared to be irritated, but that was probably the result of my interrogation. Besides, Varick seemed perpetually vexeda"as if living for hundreds of years gave him little or no patience for dealing with people like me.

aHave you created a list of all of the creatures who are in need of Jolieas talent?a Mathilda suddenly piped up, her eyes traveling around the table. They settled on me and she frowned, probably annoyed at the fact that Iad been carrying on my own conversation with Varick rather than paying attention.

aWe are in the process,a Rand answered succinctly. aWeave filled a ledger with the names of the survivors and are comparing it with the original list of all of the soldiers in our legion, making note of those who cannot be accounted for.a aAnd we were careful to collect a piece of clothing from everyone so it will be easier for me to bring them back,a I added, hoping it might seem like Iad been involved in the conversation all along.

In order for me to reanimate the dead, I have to touch something that belonged to the deceaseda"either a piece of clothing or something that was in some way connected to the person. Up until now, I had actually only ever reanimated two people. My first was Bellaas father, Jack, and that had been a mere accident.

When Bella and Rand were on significantly better terms than they are now, she hired Rand to solve the mystery of who killed her father back in Chicago in 1922. So Rand began searching for a witch powerful enough to help him cast a spell that would re-create the scene of Bellaas fatheras death. Thatas how he found me.

After he made me an offer I couldnat refuse, we flew to Chicago, to what had once been Bellaas fatheras home. In conducting the spell, I managed not only to find out who had murdered hima"his wifea"but to reanimate him.

Later, I found out that Bella, upon finding her father alive again, had promptly killed him a Yeah, that had been my first hint that she was a complete nut job. Once she knew about my secret talent, she became desperate to control and possess my abilities and would stop at nothing to get what she wanted. She had even kidnapped me; if not for Sinjin, who betrayed her and helped me escape, who knows where Iad be now?

The only other person Iad reanimated was Trent, my werewolf ex. And sometimes I doubt that decision. Well, I shouldnat say that because it isnat nice, but what I can say is that he turned out to be a player in every sense of the word. Although his antics never broke my hearta"which firmly belonged to Randa"I wouldnat say I was fond of the werewolf a at all.

Are you all right, Jolie? Randas voice penetrated my thoughts.

I glanced up in surprise to find him looking at Odran, clearly in the midst of another conversation. Iave never understood how he could multi-task so well.

Yeah, Iam fine, why?

It looked as if Varick was upsetting you. Perhaps youad care to sit beside me?

When he looked over at me, I just shook my head and offered him a sincere smile. Iam okay. Thanks for looking out for me, though.

He nodded but didnat smile. His gaze was piercing, as if he were reading my mind with just the intensity of his stare.

I would prefer to have you beside me.

I arched a brow, trying to decide if he was flirting with me. And why is that?

I do not care for vampires, and besides a His voice trailed off, probably because he was trying to pay attention to whatever Odran was saying.

Besides, what? I prompted.