Cultivation Chat Group Chapter 287: What’s worse than being helpless? Being super helpless, of course!

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Chapter 287: What’s worse than being helpless? Being super helpless, of course!

Translator: G.o.dBrandy Editor: Kurisu

‘How is this possible? How did it learn my body tempering technique with just one look?’ Joseph opened his eye wide. It was obviously just a stupid gorilla, why was it so good at learning things?!

The strong gorilla had a self-satisfied look on its face. Then… it unexpectedly showed the middle finger to Joseph! Apparently, it wasn’t their first time meeting humans; moreover, they had learned many things from them.

‘Such arrogance! It was only the warm-up!’ Joseph clenched his teeth and displayed the second set of the ❮Times are Calling❯, the Vessel Relaxation Fist.

Of course, it was a name Joseph had come up with. In truth, it was nothing but a stretching exercise!

Joseph stood straight and raised his arms high in the sky with the palms of his hands facing forward!

Next, he half-squatted and brought down his arms with the palms facing backward. After finis.h.i.+ng this movement, he stood up and raised his hands up, before bringing them down once more. Afterward, he took a step forward with his left foot, doing a forward lunge and s.h.i.+fting his two arms from the front to the side, changing the fist into a palm and slightly raising his head.

After completing this series of movements, he stood erect and exhaled, throwing out a mouthful of bad air!

The strong gorilla stared at Joseph and scratched its head.

The corner of Joseph’s mouth rose—the second set was much more complicated than the first one. This creature was only a gorilla after all, right? It shouldn’t be capable of learning this style.

But right at this time, the strong gorilla made a backflip and stood erect. Afterward… it raised its arms high in the sky with the palms of its hands facing forward!

Next, it half-squatted and brought down its arms with the palms facing backward… at last, the strong gorilla a.s.sumed a standing position and exhaled, throwing out a mouthful of bad air!

Just as before, it had perfectly copied Joseph’s movements!

After finis.h.i.+ng, the strong gorilla felt that there was something amiss.

Then, it waved its hand, and the fifty or so gorillas standing behind it seemed to have understood its meaning.

They started to rhythmically beat on the ground with their feet and hands and cried out in unison, "Roar! Roar! Roar! Roar! Roar!"

Then, the strong gorilla performed once more the second set of the ❮Times are Calling❯, this time amidst these howls.

Moreover, its speed was getting faster and faster!

The other fifty or so gorillas behind it were also howling at a faster and faster pace.

In the end, the strong gorilla performed the second set, the stretching exercise, three times faster than Joseph.

Seeing this gorilla perform the stretching exercise three times faster than normal felt the same as watching a video in fast-forward motion...

After completing the stretching exercise, the strong gorilla raised its hands, and the fifty gorillas behind roared in unison...

Then, the strong gorilla turned around and bathed in the cheers of the audience like a superstar. At this time, it looked the second coming of Harambe.

At last, it turned its body around and lightly pouted its lips, blowing out air from its nose. And just in this fas.h.i.+on, a gorilla-style ‘disdaining’ expression came to be.


In the rear, all the captives were dumbfounded.

They had no idea as to what kind of face to make to express their current feelings—it was a mix of several emotions: 70% fear, 10% depression, 10% awe, and 10% stupefaction.

Lu Fei asked cautiously, "Elder Sister, is that a… dance compet.i.tion?"

After a short pause, Lu Fei’s elder sister said, "I think it might be a gymnastics compet.i.tion? But the question is, what kind of gymnastics is that?"

"It’s the ❮Times are Calling❯; I specially looked it up on the Internet earlier," Lu Fei replied.

After seeing Zhuge Yue’s video, she went online and looked up which stretching exercise Joseph was performing. After searching for a while, she discovered that it was the ❮Times are Calling❯.

Recalling Zhuge Yue, Lu Fei carefully looked at the other captives—as expected, Zhuge Yue and Zhuge Zhongyang weren’t amongst them!

Also, Song Shuhang, Tubo, Gao Moumou and his girlfriend Yayi weren’t there either.

Lu Fei tried to recall what happened back then. Before they crashed, Zhuge Yue and Zhuge Zhongyang wanted to go to the control cabin to check out on Song Shuhang.

It seemed they got separated when the nose of the airplane was cut off.

"The Times are Calling? So that’s what it was… anyway, how many sets are there in total of this stretching exercise?" Lu Fei’s elder sister asked.

After pondering a bit, Lu Fei replied, "There are ten."

"Only ten…" Lu Fei’s elder sister looked all around.

They were tightly encircled by more than fifty gorillas. Unless they could fly, there was no way for them to escape this encirclement.

It seems that as soon as that foreign uncle is done competing with the gorillas in gymnastics, they’ll start attacking us again...

I must think of something! We have to escape before this uncle named Joseph completes the ten sets of the Times are Calling!

Lu Fei’s elder sister tried to calm herself down.

And just as she was operating her brain at full speed, Joseph was already performing the fifth set of the Times are Calling, the ‘chest-expanding exercise’.

Since this strong gorilla was getting better and better at learning this stretching exercise, Joseph also had to increase his speed, quickly arriving at the fifth set.

Lu Fei’s elder sister scratched her head, somewhat worried. ‘Dammit. In front of absolute strength, every scheme is useless!’

No, I have to do something! If this keeps going on, Joseph will quickly finish all the ten sets!

I have to find a way to gain time and get away from here!

At this time, the nearby Lu Fei asked the twenty or so surviving pa.s.sengers, "Is there anyone amongst you who is a breakdance expert?"

"A breakdance expert?" The pa.s.sengers were at a loss first. Then, their eyes suddenly lit up!

These gorillas seemed very happy to imitate human movements—they could easily discern this point from the fact that they were having a gymnastics compet.i.tion with Joseph right now.

Therefore, something like breakdance had a chance to attract their attention.

Moreover… breakdance was complicated and rather difficult to perform with the build of these gorillas. Some of the moves might even throw them into confusion, giving them a chance to escape!

"I do!" someone suddenly said.

Everyone turned their heads toward the direction the sound came from… then, they saw a tied-up black uncle with a self-satisfied look on his face. "I’m an expert in breakdance!"

That wasn't completely out of the question. After all, black uncles seemed quite good at breakdancing.

But even if he was the best breakdancer in the world, it was useless! Because not only he was completely tied up, a strong gorilla was also pulling the other end of the rope, dragging him along! Who would even dare to free him?!

"Cough. If there is no other choice, I can give it a try." At this time, a chubby man stood up and said with a forced a smile on his face, "When I was young, I took some breakdance lessons."

But later… he started working and didn’t have time to practice breakdance anymore. He had a family to support now; therefore, he couldn’t wantonly act like a carefree youngster anymore.

With time, his nimble and agile body gained weight due to his job, and his breakdancing skills also considerably fell...

"Big Brother, do your best!" At this time, a cute young boy tried to encourage the chubby man.

The chubby man took a deep breath and clenched his teeth, mustering his strength. Afterward, he walked toward Joseph.

Once Joseph was done with the ten sets of his gymnastics exercise, he would go on stage and perform several breakdance moves in the hope of piquing the interest of these gorillas, pus.h.i.+ng them to imitate him.

If he could pique their interest, it would be a success, but if he were to fail… well, there was no need to say what would happen.

‘I wonder how long I can hold with the current state of my body…’ the chubby man thought to himself as he started to secretly warm up.

Perhaps, this would be the last dance of his life, and going out of scene while performing the breakdancing he liked so much didn’t look too bad.


Several minutes later.

At this time, Joseph’s movements were eight times faster than usual; he was in the process of completing the last set of the ❮Times are Calling❯, the ‘straightening exercise’.

He had to put his life on the line to reach this speed—both his hands were moving frantically.

Luckily, he had practiced at least thirty times every day in the last month—only thanks to that was he able to instinctively perform the ❮Times are Calling❯ and reach this speed.

The gorilla stood in place with a serious expression, carefully looking at Joseph’s movements. With speed being eight times faster than normal, unless it carefully followed his movements, it would miss some bits.

After finis.h.i.+ng his performance, Joseph gasped for breath and silently looked at the gorilla.

After watching the performance, the strong gorilla pondered for a moment.

In the next instant, it stood up and… swish, swish swis.h.!.+ It performed the ‘straightening exercise’ ten times faster than normal!

After performing the exercise at 10x speed, it bathed in the cheers of the other gorillas like a superstar.

Joseph secretly heaved a sigh.

"Teacher, I did my best," Joseph said.

Unfortunately, he still couldn’t use qi and wasn’t a real martial arts master… it was really a pity!

"Brother, you were incredible. Leave the rest to me." Right at this time, a chubby man stepped forward and patted Joseph’s shoulder.

Joseph looked at this chubby man, somewhat confused.

After stepping forward, the chubby man faced the gorillas and made a provocative gesture, challenging them to a breakdance battle.


The strong gorilla was confused and looked first at Joseph and then at the chubby man.

In the next instant, the chubby man started his breakdance performance.

This might as well be his last dance; therefore, he gave his all and displayed moves that he never dared to perform in the past. At this time, he had already surpa.s.sed his limit!

The chubby man felt that it was his best performance since he had started practicing breakdance.

All the surviving pa.s.sengers loudly cheered, approving of this performance.

But the strong gorilla in the front was getting more and more confused and tilted its head in confusion.

After scratching its head, it patted a nearby gorilla that was slightly shorter than it but still very strong-looking, hinting at something to it.

Then, this short but strong-looking gorilla took a step forward, charging toward the chubby man that was still madly dancing!

And just in this fas.h.i.+on… it hit him and knocked him out.

Next, it took out a rope and quickly tied him up...

All the cheering pa.s.sengers immediately stopped, dumbfounded looks appearing on their faces… for a very long time, they were unable to utter a word.

It seemed that breakdance wasn’t enough to pique the interest of these gorillas and push them to imitate it...

But, why the h.e.l.l were they interested in gymnastics exercises yet didn’t care about breakdance?! Just why?!

Then, the short gorilla dragged the chubby man along and returned to the crowd of gorillas.

Afterward, the other strong gorilla raised both his hands and patted his chest, fixing its gaze on Joseph.

It wanted to keep fighting!

‘At this time, I can only put my life on the line, huh?’ Joseph thought to himself.

Soon after, he howled and mustered his courage, charging toward the strong gorilla without turning his head...


In the meantime.

Wenzhou City, Baijing Street, Song Shuhang’s house.

Yesterday, Auntie Li suddenly moved out of her house. According to the rumors, a millionaire made an offer that Auntie Li couldn’t reject and bought the house.

And that millionaire was supposed to move in exactly today.

Daoist Priest Cloudy Mist was humming as he went toward Song Shuhang’s house with some gifts in his hands.

He rang the bell, and every soon, Mama Song came to open the door.

"h.e.l.lo, who is it? Oh, it’s you?" Mama Song said as she looked at Daoist Priest Cloudy Mist. Wasn’t this the seriously injured person that Shuhang brought home a few days ago?

Then, this person left the same night and even took along her bed sheet!

"h.e.l.lo, Miss. It’s me indeed, my name is Li Yun." Daoist Priest Cloudy Mist revealed a smiling face and said, "I was lucky that little brother Song Shuhang helped me a few days ago, allowing me to recover from my injuries very quickly. I came here to thank him. Also, I’ve bought a house in the area, and from today onwards, I’m your neighbor."

After finis.h.i.+ng his sentence, Daoist Priest Cloudy Mist enthusiastically pa.s.sed those exquisite presents to Mama Song.

Mama Song took the gifts and looked at Daoist Priest Cloudy Mist’s honest and simple smile—her impression of him immediately rose.

"There was no need for these gifts! Come inside, have a seat," Mama Song said with a smile.

"Then, I’ll be impolite and stop for a gla.s.s of water." Daoist Priest Cloudy Mist continued to giggle. But why was he here? He was here to freeload Song Shuhang’s enlightenment stone and break through a small realm within the Fifth Stage!

However, after entering the house, Daoist Priest Cloudy Mist didn’t see Song Shuhang.

He smiled and thoughtlessly asked, "Eh? Little friend Shuhang isn’t home?"

"Oh, he left this morning with his friend and went on a trip. From what I know, they went abroad to some island to have fun. Youngsters are always like this. Even during summer vacation, they refuse to stay idle at home and want to have some fun," Mama Song said as she pa.s.sed him a cup of boiled water with a smile.

He went somewhere to have fun… and the place is even abroad?!

How can there be such a coincidence!

Daoist Priest Cloudy Mist was stunned.

Luckily, he was a cultivator that had lived for several hundred years, and although he had pa.s.sed half of his life sealed, he was still very experienced and good at adapting to the situation.

Without Mama Song noticing, he recovered and asked with a smile, "When is he coming back? Last time, I was in a hurry and didn’t even have the time to thank him properly."

"At least seven, eight days, and up to ten, fifteen days," Mama Song replied thoughtlessly. Song Shuhang said he would stay there for around a week, but if he were to meet Soft Feather, the trip might be prolonged for a bit!

Daoist Priest Cloudy Mist’s mouth twitched at the corner.

Absurd! For the past few nights, he paid visits to tens of schools and gave rise to major stealing incidents in 40-50 sects! After gathering money with great difficulty, he finally bought a house near Song Shuhang—and why did he put in so much effort? Because he wanted to benefit from Song Shuhang’s enlightenment stone as soon as possible!

At this time, Daoist Priest Cloudy Mist was truly heartbroken...

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Cultivation Chat Group Chapter 287: What’s worse than being helpless? Being super helpless, of course! summary

You're reading Cultivation Chat Group. This manga has been translated by Updating. Author(s): 圣骑士的传说, Legend Of The Paladin. Already has 122 views.

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