Tondemo Skill de Isekai Hourou Meshi Chapter 270

Eguchi Ren: There are all kinds of liquor here and we ended up with a very long chapter…

“Excellent, now that those G.o.ddesses are gone, let us get started.”

“That’s right, that’s right, let’s start.”

“Yes, yes,” I clicked on the option for Tanaka’s Liquor Store and… wow, as expected of a proper liquor store, from the tabs alone, I could see the products separated into Beer, Wine, Sparkling Wine, Whiskey, Brandy, Spirits [9], Liqueur [10], Shochu, Sake and Others. [5] [8] “Can you see the menu here?” I asked.

[8] “Woah, that’s just different categories of alcohol?!” there was awe in Hephaestus-sama’s voice. [5]

There are actually more, but let’s not mention this for now. “Please calm down and look at the menu slowly. There should be more than a hundred brands of alcohol under each category.” [6] I might as well let them get used to this idea first. [5] Although, I must say that this shop seems to specialise in western type alcohol, considering that 7 out of 9 categories are typically considered ‘western style’ alcohol. [5]

“…m-more than a hundred? You’re saying there are more than 100 types of whiskeys?”

“Yes,” [7] I said in my most normal and business-like tone.

“Uwoooohhhhh!!!!!”

[6] I had to shake my head to get rid of the shout ringing in my head. Yes, yes, I get that you’re very happy, but please calm down.

“We did it, G.o.d of War!”

“We hit the mother load, G.o.d of Blacksmith!”

“Liquor and alcohol! We can taste hundreds of different types of other world alcohol!!”

“Yes! Yes! Up till now nearly everything had been delicious. However, there might even be more delicious alcohol out there!”

[5] “Excuse me, I’m sure everyone is very excited. However, please be reminded that your budget is 1 gold coin per week per person,” I said with my best professional smile. [6] I feel like a sweetshop cas.h.i.+er with teenage boys clutching 1,000 yen to their chest. [5]

“Ah,”

“Oh yes, there’s that.” [5] [6] “Thank you,” I said firmly.

[8] “If that’s the case… hmm, we already had beer, wine, whiskey and brandy-”

[8] “-and sake,”

[8] “And sake, so I guess we should try types of liquor we haven’t had yet.”

“I see, hold on, let me explain a little,” I’m a typical beer drinker who isn’t familiar with other kinds of alcohol at all. Luckily, the explanation for each type of alcohol was included in the tabs. So…

“Sparkling wine is an effervescent wine with a crisp taste. Spirits is distilled liquors with high alcohol content. Vodka, for example, is a type of spirit, so are Gin, Tequila and Rum. Liqueur is spirits flavoured with herbs, fruits and often very sweet. Shochu is a type of distilled liquor made from rice, but it could also be made from wheat or potatoes.”

“Hmm, what about that last one? The ‘Others’?”

My, my, Vahagn-sama has really sharp eyes.

I can’t really tell, so I clicked the ‘Others’ open and have a look.

“Hmm, under ‘Others’ we have Shaoxing Wine from a country called China and Makgeolli [11] from Korea. These are pretty famous traditional wines from their respective country,” I said thoughtfully.

“Is that so? Are there over 100 types of each as well?”

“Well,” I scrolled down the list and found myself getting a bit dizzy at the number of choices. That’s a lot!

[8] I quickly switched over to open the tab for ‘Whiskey’. “Ahem, why don’t we look at whiskeys first?” to my surprise, the single tab cascaded into five different options: Scotch, Irish, American, Canadian and Domestic.

[1] “Since it’s been divided into places of origin, why don’t we take it from the top?” without waiting for the G.o.ds to answer, I confidently clicked ‘Scotch’ and this time, the tab cascaded into: Highland, Speyside, Roland, Islay, Campbeltown and Island.

[6] … whaaaatttt…

[8] I vaguely remember that Highland? Or was that Speyside? Has a distillery. Nevertheless, I continued to speak in my serene, polite sir-let-me-show-you-our-products voice, “The country further subdivided into region. Scotch Whiskey could taste different depending on which region it came from. Now, let us see what ‘Highland’ has to offer.”

This time, a list of whiskeys spread across the screen, showing their clear amber liquid suspended inside elegant slim bottles.

“Uwooohhh…”

Their exclamation was rather hushed, almost reverent.

“Ahem, these are some of the selections that could be found here.”

.………

…….

…

[8] “h.e.l.lo? Is something wrong?”

“Ah, ahem, no, nothing. It’s just… so mesmerizing…”

[8] “All those whiskeys…”

Well, I guess if you’re that into liquors, it’s probably an incredible sight.

“Well, what will it be?”

“All of them! Ah, but our budget…”

“Yes, the budget is 1 gold coin per week. Unfortunately, that is the limit,” personally, I’m glad for the limit. Otherwise… [5]

“Hmm, it’s not like we can ask you to increase it, those four stupid G.o.ddesses will probably make trouble for us,” Vahagn-sama’s voice sulked into my head.

“… …” I did not hear that.

“G.o.d of War, a council!”

“Yes, we must have council!”

The two began whispering to each other. [5] I sat back and closed my eyes. I don’t care about whatever decision they make as long as they make it quick. Meanwhile, I’m going to take a short snooze…

Still, their whisperings buzzed in my ears like annoying mosquitoes.

“…that one…”

“… what? But we must….”

“…surely…”

“…yes…”

“…kun…”

“…er-KUN!”

My head jerked and I snorted.

“Wha-”

“Oi! What’s this? How dare you fall asleep!”

“Oi! Get up, you!”

[5] [6] I blinked my eyes against the glare of the [Net Super] while two voices continued to yell at me.

I sat up, still more than half asleep, “I’m awake, I’m awake,”

“Humph, maa, whatever. After our council, we have decided. We want something above the Best Whiskey in the World.” [5] [5] [8] “Sure,” I couldn’t care less what they wanted. I’m just happy they have made up their minds. Right, let’s look up the World’s Best Single Malt Whiskeys first. That’s always a good place to start.

Let’s see:

World’s Best Single Malt 5 Silver

World’s Best Single Malt (12 Years) 1 Gold 2 Silver

World’s Best Single Malt (18 Years) 4 Gold 2 Silver

[5]

I scrolled further down out of morbid curiosity and saw this:

World’s Best Single Malt (25 Years) 32 Gold

[8] “… Hephaestus-sama, Vahagn-sama, are you seeing this?”

[8] “Wh-what are those prices?”

[6] The voice was so high pitched I couldn’t tell which G.o.d was speaking.

“Well, it is said that whiskey gets better the longer it is aged. That’s why the prices go up accordingly.”

“…crazy,”

“That kind of price…”

“…for liquor?”

“Surely… since it’s up there for sale, someone has to be buying it?”

“I wonder…”

“…what it tasted like…”

Gulp.

I had better stop that dangerous train of thought.

“Ahem, with your current budget, if you pool your money together, you can get the 12-year-old Single Malt Whiskey. Well, what will it be?”

“Gunununu, G.o.d of War, a council!”

“A council!”

[6] Meanwhile, I entertained myself by reading the descriptions describing the deliciousness of these crazily expensive whiskeys.

[5] 10 minutes later…

“Oi, it is unfortunate, but I’m afraid we shall have to pa.s.s up the expensive whiskey this time.”

“Such a shame, but since you just got this liquor tenant, we should enjoy many other types of whiskeys…”

Both sounded very bitter, but I applauded them for their practicality. The prices of these old j.a.panese Single Malt Whiskeys are just too incredible.

This single bottle is $16,999.99 or 1,850,000 Yen at dekanta.com. In fact, [Net Super]’s price of 32 gold = 320,000 yen is a super bargain!

https://dekanta.com/store/yamazaki-25-years-old/

“We’ll choose a few from the whiskey list,”

[8] [5] Ah, good. However, I’m not very familiar with whiskeys… wait, I just noticed something that had appeared among the tabs showing Beer, Wine, Sparkling Wine [5] etc was a tab called ‘Manager’s Rec’.

[6] When I tapped on ‘Manager’s Rec’ it bloomed into ‘Manager’s Recommended Gifts’.

Below this page were the Beer, Wine, Sparkling Wine [5] etc tabs. This ‘Manager’s Rec’ also has option for ‘gifts’. If you specify the item as a ‘gift’ it will be gift wrapped for free.

It certainly sounded convenient. Especially if you’re a noob buying liquors for people who knows their Shochu from their Sake.

There’s even a ranking system!

Nice.

I tapped on that and immediately it cascaded to show the ‘Best-sellers’ of the day, week and month for different categories of drinks.

Very, very nice.

[8] “Hephaestus-sama, Vahagn-sama, I believe it’s best to choose from this list. These are the drinks recommended by the manager and shows the best type of drinks according to their category.”

“Oh? A recommendation?”

“Oh, are those the ones recommended by the manager?”

There were five recommended whiskeys.

[Manager’s Rec 1]

Speyside Single Malt Whiskey

Bestselling whiskey from Scotland

Great beginner drink with its fruity aroma and aromatic flavours. A great gift for lovers of whiskies.

Price: 3 Silver

*This whiskey is completely fictional (probably)

[Manager’s Rec 2]

Single Malt Whiskey

Also known as ‘Queen of Islay’

Features a smoky flavour with the subtle notes of lemons and honey. Sweet, rich and balanced. Best introductory drink amongst the other products of Islay.

Price: 3 Silver 8 Bronze

[Manager’s Rec 3]

Blended Whiskey

Prince of Scotch

Characterizes by its nutty vanilla flavours and carries notes of ripe apples and honey. Mellow and gentle. Comes in 1 litre bottle, great for the friend who loves alcohol.

Price: 3 Silver 2 Bronze

[Manager’s Rec 4]

American Premium

Most famous Tennessee Whiskey in the world

Mellow with a well-balanced notes of vanilla and caramel. Very reasonably priced.

Price: 2 Silver

[Manager’s Rec 5]

Irish Whiskey

From the world’s oldest distillery in Northern Ireland

Irish Whiskies are characterised by their smooth texture achieved from multiple distillation process. This one carries notes of malt and sherry from the original cask.

Price: 2 Silver

Hmm, Manager’s Rec seemed to contain a lot of ‘introductory drinks’ [12]. Well, if they are meant to be gifts, I supposed it’s best to get something that would please a bigger crowd and not those ‘special items’. The prices were very reasonable too.

I’ve heard that there are some whiskies that smelled a lot like Seirogan [13]. Only people who liked this particular type of whiskey would be happy if you gift this kind of thing to them. Oh, and it looks like the Manager’s Rec is updated every month. Nice. [5]

“Uhmm,”

“Hmmm,”

“Umu, we’re getting all five. What do you think, G.o.d of War?”

“Hmm, since the shop manager itself recommends it…” [5]

“Then, would that be all five bottles each?” I prompted.

“Yes!”

“Excellent choice,” I praised. There’s still some budget left after taking all five whiskies, so I checked out something called ‘Daily Rec’ at the bottom of the page. I tapped it.

[Manager’s Recommendation of the Day]

Manager-san loves whiskey and enjoys sharing his drink of choice for the day.

Today’s drink is:

“Today, is a lovely day and it only gets better with a smooth and gentle whiskey with a hint of floral notes. Enjoy this wonderful whiskey slowly as you admire nature at its best.”

I stared, a little mesmerized by the sight of the beautiful 24 side cut bottle design. The gla.s.s was crystal clear with a gorgeous stopper.

Truly, great example of j.a.panese craftsmans.h.i.+p.

It cost 5 silver coins.

“It’s a bit expensive, but it sure looks good,” someone sighed.

“A whiskey that’s meant to be enjoyed slowly…”

I decided to use my trump card.

“By the way,” I said casually. “This whiskey is made by the same company that made that ‘World’s Best Whiskey’ you like so much.”

“Whaaatttt!!!”

“G.o.d of Smith! We must get this one! This one!”

“Umu, true. A company that makes the World’s Best Whiskey cannot make a bad whiskey!”

“This one!!”

Nice, in you go. As for the budget, “You have 1 silver coin each, what would you like to do with it?” [5]

There was some hurried whispering, but then Vahagn-sama said, “We’ll get a vodka, 2 silver coins worth.”

Vodka, eh?

I went to the ‘Spirits’ section and was a little loss until I found the option to sort the items by prices and scrolled until I reached the 1 silver coin section.

Nice.

I stopped at one promising item:

Poland’s pride [14].

A friend of mine told me that this vodka is made from herbs, dried fruits and other stuff that gave it a delicious scent similar to sakura mochi. It also has a mellow taste and cost only 1 silver coin so I got two of them.

Finally, I checked out the items and sent them off to the G.o.ds.

“Please accept my offering, Hephaestus-sama and Vahagn-sama,”

A cheer went off in my head.

Haaahh, it’s finally over. I turned off [Net Super] and was about to go and sleep when voices shouted. “Hold it!”

… what now…?

Please let me sleep.

“For the sake of future purchases, we would like to know what else is on the recommendation list.”

“Yes, yes, and the price ranking, that’s very important.”

You-!!

I was on the verge of shouting, but I was just too tired.

“Please, I’ve just gotten out of a Dungeon Challenge, can’t you just let me sleep?”

“Umu, I guess…”

[8] “… tch, this guy doesn’t know how to appreciate things. Anyway, at least let us look at the page for the Best Seller product,”

[8] “Oh, that’s a good idea,”

Tiredly, I called up [Net Super] again and set it onto the page where the Best Seller for the day, week and month were set.

Then, I lie down as the sounds of bottles rattling echoed in my head interspersed with dialogue and the occasional ‘pop’. Whatever, I don’t care anymore.

“It’s so wonderful to look at different kinds of liquor while enjoying some, yes?”

“Hmm, the ultimate pleasure…”

“I say, this green bottle whiskey is delicious. As expected from the manager,”

“Umu, nice and mellow, fruity but also complex…

“Let’s drink all night, G.o.d of Smith!”

“Let’s!”

I wonder how long I can sleep before Fer and the others wake me up for breakfast…

[Gumihou: Gumi has actually cut out over 800 words, and maybe added 400 back… For some reason, Mukouda suddenly couldn’t ‘show’ the details on Net Super to the G.o.ds and had to read everything out, making everything extra loooonnnggg…]

[1] Structural Change: Combine 2 paragraphs

[2] Structural Change: Combine 3 paragraphs

[3] Structural Change: Combine paragraph & dialogue

[4] Structural Change: Change pa.s.sive sentence to dialogue

[5] Delete Repet.i.tive or Pointless Information

[6] Additional Information for Aesthetic Purpose

[7] Add Dialogue Tag

[8] Creative Licence Taken

[9] Definition of ‘Spirits’: Also known as ‘liquor’ is a type of alcoholic drink, whether grains, fruits or vegetables, that have already gone through alcoholic fermentation. Considered a ‘hard drink.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Liquor

[10] Liqueur: Not to be mistaken with ‘liquor’: Is ‘spirits’ + flavourings, generally sugar, fruits, herbs spices and is typically heavily sweetened and unaged.

[11] Makgeolli – a type of fermented rice wine. Milky and often a little fizzy with a complex profile. Could be sweet, sour, even slightly bitter taste.

https://kimchimari.com/makgeolli-korean-rice-wine-what-how-to/

[12] Introductory Whiskeys: I do believe a lot came from this link

https://www.liquor.com/best-scotch-for-beginners-5115466

[13] Seirogan – Famous medicine for diarrhoea in j.a.pan…

https://j.a.pan-lover.com/life-culture/daily-necessity/seirogan/

[14] Polish herbal vodkas

https://www.deliciouspoland.com/blog/5-must-try-polish-vodkas