Outaishihi ni Nante Naritakunai!! Chapter 148

She and (Provisional)

A few days have pa.s.sed since I woke up.
My physical condition is good. Told that there aren't any particular problems with me, as usual I pa.s.sed time as I like.

"Are you going to the kitchen today too?"

It's still early in the morning.
When I was about to go out as usual, I heard Freed's voice.

"Yup. I'm thinking about making a new work soon. It's fun how s.p.a.cious the kitchen is and how varied the ingredients are"

No matter how long I spend there, I don't get bored of the kitchen where unusual things from all times and places are gathered.
As expected of the Royal Palace kitchen. The a.s.sortment in the ducal residence kitchen pales in comparison.
By the way, it's still a secret I plan to develop j.a.panese cuisine.
I think of making it a surprise when I finish.

"Then, since I'm going out too, let's go together"

In response to my words, Freed got up from the sofa.
He nimbly picked up doc.u.ments and walked my way.
But, I frowned as he did that.

"Will you go as far as the kitchen? When Freed comes everybody gets nervous and can't work…"

I don't mind going with him.
But, recalling everybody being terribly nervous, unable to raise their faces, I wanted to complain about it.
From their point of view, Freed is a G.o.d-like existence. He's an absolute monarch. It can't be helped that it turned out like that, but it makes a lot of things difficult.
When I demonstrated my concern about Freed coming, he patted my head.

"It's regrettable, but I'll have to leave partway through today. I have to go soon too"
"Ah, come to think of it you said you're going out today"

As Freed stole a glimpse at the clock, I recalled the plans he'd told my about.
Certainly, last night he told me about a chivalric order inspection.

"I'm going with Glenn. I'll be back by the evening"
"Hmph, I understand. Have a good day"

Although I nodded that it's okay, I felt moved when I thought such exchanges had become normal for us.
I simply have been here so much I got used to it.
Thinking so, strangely I found the ducal residence nostalgic out of a sudden.
Dear mother, are you doing well.
Driven by the sudden feeling of nostalgia, I tugged the hem of Freed's clothes.

"… Hey, Freed. I wonder if I couldn't go back home soon"
"… Why"

As I said so while recalling Mother's face, Freed answered in an awfully low voice.
His face is sullen.
I unintentionally smiled at how he became displeased in an easy to understand manner.
Seeing me smile, he became further displeased.

"What's so strange"
"Nn, sorry. See Freed, you had an awfully sullen face"

While giggling, I reached my hand for his glabella, only to have it caught.
Pulled towards him, I was invited into his arms. Without opposing, I obediently settled inside them.
As a matter of fact, it's a secret but I fairly like his smell.
Having caught me, while burying his face in my hair, Freed said.

"Don't tell me you want to go back. It makes me want to lock you up"

He said so in a pa.s.sionate, husky voice.

"… But, Freed won't do that, right?"

After all, he's weak to me.
Phew, he breathed a sigh when I calmly replied knowing that.
To calm himself down he put his cheek against me.
Accepting that, I wrapped my arms around his back hugging him tightly.
Freed muttered.

"… I really want to lock you up so you don't go anywhere. But, more than that, I don't want to see Lidi cry… Hey, I hate when Lidi isn't on my side… Will you stay here If I ask?"
"… That's a sly way of talking"

If I'm spoken to so lonesomely, it makes me want to listen to anything he says.
It's just a topic I suddenly recalled. I don't have to do it by all means.
But, it was just slightly annoying to simply nod.

"… Then, when can I go home? I've been told it's until my safety can be confirmed"
"… Prime Minister's subordinates are investigating Sahaja's movements. When they are confirmed… Or else"

When I tried asking about the schedule, I got an extremely vague answer.
Sahaja's movements, he said…
If I'm unlucky, couldn't it even take several months.

"Will that end with the wedding?"

It was a genuine question, but Freed returned an awkward face.
He completely averted his line of sight.

"… Probably it won't. But why are you expressly asking, does Lidi want to return home so much? And leave me here alone"
"Freed"

As Freed spoke in a bitter voice, somehow I became bothered that I might be saying something bad.

"If you insist on it no matter what, I'll let you return for a few days. But, come back here after you finish your business. Otherwise, I surely won't be able to endure, and will go pick you up"
"Eeeh…"

Pick me up… That's… how should I say it, a very troubling topic.
I thought that, but I couldn't further tease Freed who spoke in an earnest voice.
I reluctantly nodded.

"… Yup. I understand"
"It's a promise. Otherwise, I'll turn useless"
"What's with that"

I laughed as I was warned with extreme gravity, still his voice was serious.

"I don't want to sleep in a bed without Lidi, I don't want to do my best at work when Lidi isn't there"
"You're exaggerating"
"It's the truth. Before I knew Lidi, I'd thought nothing about being alone, but see. It's no good now. I can't do anything without Lidi. I don't want to"

While amazed by Freed who clearly declared that, I reached out my hand to him.

"There's no way I alone changed you like that"
"You did. That's why, see"
"… Yup"

He caught my extended arm and dropped a kiss on my hand.
While I looked at it absentmindedly, this time he dropped a kiss on my lips.

"… Nn"

While receiving it, I thought.
In the end, I'm weak to him.
To think that he's cute when he smiles in relief, surely I've been considerably taken in by him.
Once I understood that, I could do nothing but to nod to his words.

"Ugh, no good. I'm weak"

I separated from Freed partway through, and alone slowly walked towards the kitchen.
Quite a few days have pa.s.sed since I realized I love Freed (provisionally), at any rate it looks like I've become excessively weak to him.
As a result of the weakness for one's beloved, one's weak spots are wide open, but regrettably I can't accept that explanation. Because it's still in the (provisional) state. And yet this weakness. It's strange.

"I wonder if I should admit it soon…."

I grumbled to myself in self-mockery.
I realize (provisional) is just my stubbornness in trying not to admit it. I somehow understand it's probably not (provisional). I also know it's just me unseemly floundering.
However――――.

"I know it's a luxury, but I want something definite…"

I want evidence that it's not a suspension bridge effect. Somehow, I can't convince myself otherwise. I want to jump into his arms without that doubt.
While sighing about what to do, I saw two familiar people walking in front.
One is Brother.
The other one is wearing a robe of the Magician Division.
It's Will.
Perhaps they noticed me at the same timing as Brother raised his hand.
The two came to the place where I stopped in my tracks.

"Lidi"
"h.e.l.lo. Will. Are you and Brother in the middle of work?"
"Yeah"

Will called out to me first.
I exchanged greetings with Will who was as untalkative as usual, then s.h.i.+fted my gaze towards Brother to see him look around the surrounding.
He's probably looking for Freed. I intuitively knew right away.

"If you're looking for Freed, he's already left with Glenn?"

I breathed a sigh at how he treats Freed being at my side as natural.
Aah, my Brother nodded as if he recalled it when I answered.

"Come to think of it, he's got inspection today. And? What are you doing?"
"I'm going to the kitchen. Older Brother, you?"
"We're going to the Magician Division headquarters. Will brought up wanting to see the vase magical tool. He said to bring it even if it's broken into pieces. Right, Will"