Dream Star 145 Letting Go Of Your Hand 14

Training Camp building, one room.

Lila sat up on the bed as she stared absentmindedly outside the window. From where she was sitting, she could make out two figures on the rooftop. She wonders what the two of them are talking about. No, she knows, doesn't she? It doesn't appear as though they are fighting, but... She sighed, she should have gone with them, yet that would have backfired too. Those two have things they need to discuss regarding her, so it would be awkward if she tagged along with them. Two people who love her...

Someone who loves her, a flash of blonde appears in her head, she hasn't spoken to senpai since that time. When she gets back, she should talk to him. But, ' I have something I want to tell you.' Whenever she thinks of wanting to see him.. the words he said before she left for the training camp appears in her head.

Such a serious gaze, she's seen it once before. Before he was about to leave for his tour, he looked at her with those eyes and yet before he could tell her anything. She felt that Kiryu was in danger and rushed off to save him that was the last time she saw him. He hadn't bothered waiting for her or even sending a message of any kind.

He abruptly returned and re-entered her life, but she's been so busy so she hasn't been able to think about it. Senpai has always had the habit of getting close to her. She's happy when he pats her head and smiles at her and calls her name. But when she's getting close to Kiryu, she always feels like she's about to explode. Is she the only one who feels this way?

Is it natural to be so nervous all the time? With Kiryu, there is something special, yet she can't continue ignoring senpai. One day, she will have to hear what he wants to tell her. Is he going to confess again? But he told her he respected her decision. 'For now.'

Her gaze landed back outside the window. Once her journey ends, will she be able to tell Kiryu what he meant to her? She wants to, get rid of any troubled thoughts in her mind. To guide everyone. Right now her workload is increasing, and she's at a good pace with her international debut. She's getting closer to people too.

But there's still something missing. Lila wonders if there's a way to spread her message better. In the past, she believed that until she saw her Mother again; she deserves no form of happiness. However, both Kiryu and senpai have always treated her so kindly. Her mother returned, so did Ren-San... Last year she joined Universal S high school division, a lot happened.

She used the feelings she had since she was born since she became an idol, since that dreaded day. The precious feelings and memories she gained from being with everyone; to sing on that stage. The feelings from that stage.

Lila sang a familiar song. Since that stage, she hasn't tried to sing it once. Even after she became number one, she was using other songs right before she left. Even though she had yet to realize it, then that something was missing. No, she realized right away but didn't admit it to herself.

"That's the brightest dream isn't it?"

Kotori cut her singing short when she re-entered the room with a tray in her hands.

"Kotori-chan... Un, I felt like reminiscing."

"I was also there during your performance."

"Ah, you mentioned before.."

Kotori smiled, "It is a good song, I could tell you put so many emotions behind it."

"It was a group song, but it somehow ended up as my song."

"It made me think, that music doesn't lie."

Lila tilted her head in confusion and Kotori chuckled.

"You've never heard the saying before?"

She shook her head.

"It exactly what it sounds like, music doesn't lie. Music can show us, the soul and essence a person tries to hide. It exposes a person completely. They cannot hide anything. For example, if you had a split personality, it would show in your music. Feelings of conflict, strong and powerful emotions."

Oh, that sounds like what she always thought about Haruka. About his light differing from her beloved Kiryu. Also, "Haruka is kind.."

Kotori smiled, "Yes. Anyone who's heard Karas.h.i.+msan's music and singing can say so. But only those who get to know him will understand the depth of those emotions. After getting to know you even though it's only a little. Lilchan, I understand the feelings you were trying to convey on that stage. You want everyone to express themselves, not to hesitate to show their feelings. No matter how scary it is.."

"There will always be light." Lila finished and nodded. "I'm quite a simple person. As long as there's that one special person, as long as there's that one person who will hold my hand. I can still have faith."

"That one special person for you is Austin Kiryu?"

"Yes."

"Had you met Karas.h.i.+msan first would that have changed?"

Lila shook her head, "It's not about who I met first. While I thought my meeting with Kiryu was like love at first sight. It didn't take me long to realize if it isn't this person it's no good. You said to me that the brightest dream is a good song.."

Kotori nodded.

"Right now I'm searching for it. What was missing on that stage? It was a good song, I could s.h.i.+ne and convey a lot of feelings. But it felt there was something missing. I'm still halfway through my journey. But I've figured something out. There are still feelings I wish to convey, there's still a conflict I have to sort out... and that thought leads me to Haruka."

"Does that mean?.."

"It's very vague. But even long before I met him last year, it felt like I met him before. If that's the case, then it all makes sense." From the moment she met him, to everything that happened afterward that lead to this point. His warmth. "I need to figure that out. And in doing so, I can understand my heart."

"All of this will lead back to Austin Kiryu..." Kotori paused. "I suppose even if you feel so strongly towards Haruka, you'll still... "

"Who knows what the future holds? But, since coming here. I have thought a lot of things through. Being apart from everyone for the first time made me realize exactly how much they spoilt me. I don't want to destroy the feelings they gave me before I left on this journey. Even now, the only reason I haven't fallen apart completely is not due to my own will. But because I know they are thinking of me and I'm doing the same vice versa.."

Her most beloved person, her Kiryu.

Her dear family.

And her dear friends.