Dream Star 285 When I Think About It, All I Can Do Is Cry.

A few hours later - Dream Stars Training Camp -

The ability to understand others just by touching surely exists. There might not be any reason to be afraid of touching and being touched by others, or hugging and being hugged by others.

A deep sigh pa.s.sed Lila's lips. For the last few minutes, she tried to keep her mind occupied from recent events and focus on studying. Why is she studying when the third round is approaching? Simple, the moment she returns to j.a.pan, she has to do makeup exams because she missed the exam period. But it wasn't working well. Memories - not just memories of recently came to mind.

Memories of the past, when she first caught a glimpse of the cruelness of the world. Somebody told her before; somebody said these words repeatedly for her not to dwell on her past. But Lila wanted to feed the growing monster inside her, the one who was trying to turn her positive thoughts on love to a negative one. If it wants hate, then she can give it hate. There are plenty of other negative emotions inside her that Lila shows n.o.body, not even this inner beast knew of. Memories she does not share with anybody, not even those closest to her. Unless you were there to witness the event, most people wouldn't a.s.sociate it with her.

Lila recalled it when those rumors about her started. When her so-called friends stopped talking to her and then, later on, wouldn't even look her in the eye. The moment she entered the room, silence would engulf the place like they are too disgusted to even talk in her presence.

She hadn't realized then just how important money was. It wasn't just a status symbol. Oh, no. Apparently, just how much of it your family had indicated your own value to society. Those at the bottom were to be stepped on unmercifully and with undisguised glee. With her family situation the way it was, it was only natural that people took advantage of her. During all of this, Lila observed her former friends' reaction; of course, they felt nothing. They weren't really her friends but people who went along and followed the crowd.

This was elementary school - it felt like h.e.l.l every day. Every single day she had to deal with peoples jeering insults, people treating her like a ghost and peoples pranks. They'd steal or destroy her belongings. Whenever they took things, the ringleaders of the bullying would justify it and say, 'it's better in somebody else's hands than your dirty ones.'

Her desk was covered in graffiti every day, those in charge of cleaning? They always added to it and whenever the teacher questioned her. Lila chose to remain silent. The girls were terrible; they didn't hesitate to get creative with their rumors - stuff like her selling herself or throwing herself at any guy she sees. Lila recalled once picking up somebody's pencil, and then they somehow twisted those rumors. The reason for those girls' shrewd minds and jealousy? It was over something stupid because she was moderately popular amongst the boys they picked on her. Now that she thought it through, it really was stupid in more ways than one.

But amongst all that hate there was him - there was Kiryu. When she met Kiryu, all that abuse and hate stopped. Maybe because they realized that with Kiryu by her side, no matter what they do, it would no longer phase her, it's like a child getting rid of their favorite game.

Lila took out her phone; her fingers paused on the news section. Lately, Lila refrained from looking at the news; she didn't want to see it. Didn't want to see Kiryu suffering so much.

So when she received a call, a call from the person who has done an excellent job at hiding from her and yet watching over her. Lila didn't hesitate to meet him.

.....
Park

For somebody who called out to her, why is he late? A deep sigh pa.s.sed her lips, well she supposes it can't be helped. Lila looked around and saw a small grey stage in the center. Ah, it looks like that place. The one back home. Realizing he would not come anytime soon, Lila made her way over and stood in the center.

She took a deep breath and sang.

"We may suffer and go through painful moments.
But please remember, how you first held my hand the night we were four years old.
It was a brief and clumsy meeting.
And as children, perhaps we knew no better.
Perhaps we were misled.
Even then, I want to believe in the feelings that have only grown stronger since that night.

Do you remember the scene from that day that was my beginning?
I'll live my life, with these beautiful feelings.

No matter how many times I shed tears and give up.
I will believe in the light at the end of the tunnel.
I will hold your hand forever.

And believe in your feelings, my feelings
One day we may separate that thought is so frightening for me.
When I think about it, all I can do is cry.

I won't say goodbye.
Nor will I say I love you.
But, I will say, I will see you again.
I want to see you again, in that place.
Where everything began." Lila sang.

"Your singing is as lovely as ever lady,"

Lila turned around and spotted black hair and purple. She was half tempted to cry due to the overwhelming feelings in his heart. Even if she attempted to hide it, it was clear that he had noticed already. This person is Tachibana Ameno, her dear senpai.

Ameno smiled, "An actor smiles when they want to cry."

"I'm not an actress," Lila murmured, "Your such an idiot. Why didn't you say anything about it before? I thought it was strange that you left so quickly. How long has it been? Rather, how could you decide something so important on your own? We were able to make it this far because you were with us,"
That's right; it's because they've all been standing together. That they came this far, "It's wrong for you to sacrifice yourself for us. I can't accept it."

"So if I stayed, would you have given up your stage? If your feelings are that fickle, then you shouldn't perform. You wouldn't be able to put on a decent performance, anyway. I'd feel bad for the audience watching you," Ameno scolded her.

"My feelings aren't that, fickle!" Lila exclaimed.

Ameno chuckled, "I know."

That's right, he knows, doesn't he?

"My emotions are a mess," Lila slowly said, "Lately, I've just been wandering. I thought I had a goal in mind, a new one. But when I thought about the amount of pain Kiryu is facing. I wanted to leave everything behind and rush to his side. A dream I can abandon that easily isn't a dream at all."

Her thoughts broke off when he took a few steps forward until he stood directly in front of her, "Remember, what you're aiming for. Before you came here, didn't you already have a bigger dream? Do you want to limit yourself to what you have now, do you want to continue standing in the shadow of the past? Your stage that day was the brightest I ever saw you, and since you left that light hasn't diminished once. But your confidence in yourself has. Little Lila, you'll be alright."

Lila shook her head, "Don't say it like that."

"Did you know? I always thought the four of you in the G.o.ddess4 shone brightly individually, but then I realized I was wrong. The G.o.ddess4 could only s.h.i.+ne because you were there; it was the same for the G.o.d5. Because you were there to lead and guide everybody because you were there to motivate us. Our light grew bigger.x

"My dream is..."

Her dream, the dream that only came forth because of Mother and Kyoko-nee. Because Kiryu was by her side, but even more than that, right now there are different feelings in his heart. Feelings she wants to express for those people who accepted him warmly.

.....

"Why did you make her cry?" Haruka scolded Ameno as he wrapped his arms protectively around her, "Geez, next time I'm not letting you meet her alone."

Lila wanted to clarify things, but Ameno-senpai was late, and she liked the amount of attention Haruka gave her.

"Hey now, I see how things are Little Lila, not even backing me up anymore?"

"Tough luck," Lila said as she buried her face in Haruka's arms. It's so warm and comfortable; she likes it a lot.