Dream Star 774 If Only

He didn't reply immediately and Lila felt her unease grow. Is he going to think she is stupid for asking? Maybe because her feelings for him are stronger now. But Lila has realized one thing.. 'It seems like these feelings will continue to grow.

Haruka, is a free spirit. He isn't meant to be tied down. At least not with her. She isn't the one for him. She understood that full well and yet until the very last moment, she will cling to him. 

While she has abandoned everything else, the only thing that remains now is Haruka.

Even that person whom she once loved so deeply, no longer comes to mind. Ever since that time, he has not come to see her once. Not that she was expecting anything. That person's always been carefree like that. 

He is carefree like Haruka but the latter at least makes sure to return or leave a message. He doesn't simply vanish. Haruka, won't simply leave her. She understood that much very well. 

But Lila wonders exactly, how long can she tie this person to her side? When he leaves, will the world go bleak like it was before? Will that darkness return? She's afraid. Now that she's tasted happiness, she doesn't want to lose it. She doesn't want to lose Haruka.

Her thoughts broke off when Haruka cupped her cheeks.

"Hmmm, wife. Are you thinking of something stupid again?"

"I'm not!" Lila exclaimed.

Haruka chuckled. "Whatever your thinking, forget it for now."

Indeed, she ought to focus on spending time with him. They found a quiet park and sat down on the benches.

"My Haruka, here!" Lila pulled out something from her bag. It was a medium-sized bento box.

"Hm? Thanks." 

She reaches over and touches his cheek.

"What is it?" 

"My husband, you look more handsome today." Lila complimented. There was something different about him today.

"Hah? What's with that?!

He really does...she wonders what it is. Maybe if she stares at him more, she will find out the reason? Lila quickly decided and stared at him for the next few minutes.

Her thoughts break of when he pulled her in to his arms.

"M--my Kiryu?" 

"You know, your obviously embarra.s.sed." 

"Ah, is that it Kiryu?" 

"Didn't notice?" 

"?" 

"Well, that's like you." 

So she's just being self-conscious... Self co--

..

Upon realising Lila finds herself pulling away.

"Nope, I'm not letting you go." 

"Wah, you're a dummy." 

"Well, it's rare for me to catch you like this. So, I'll take advantage of it." 

"K--Kiryu, you know people can still--" 

He probably doesn't care much about that.

After much embarra.s.sment, they finally got around to eating. It was a bit embarra.s.sing after flirting so much to give him the bento. She was afraid that Kiryu would tease her a lot. But, he simply accepted it.

"This is good." 

"You like it Kiryu." 

"Yeah," 

"Yay!" Her victory was cut short when Kiryu kisses her.

Wh-that was his tongue! H--he can't just give her that sort of kiss without warning.

"Your too defenceless Lila." 

She's defenceless? For the next few minutes, there was no conversation, and Lila finds herself thinking about his words. Defenceless means she lets her guard down a lot. She supposes that's not actually wrong. Whenever she is with Haruka, her guard doesn't really have to be up. She can relax, he's someone she can feel at ease with.

If it's him then she can trust him. Lila leaned her head on his shoulders. "What's wrong?"Haruka asked.

"Its nothing."

She just wants to remain like this with him forever.

"Now then...time to have some of Lila before leaving." 

He ate quickly. Or maybe, she's been s.p.a.cing out far longer than she thought?

"Wah! You can't do anything else." 

"Really?" 

He knows full well she can't say no.

"Kay Haruka, have me. But in moderation." 

"Moderation huh? What's moderation, Lila?" 

Before Lila could even explain the meaning, he pinned her on the ground. Haruka hovered over her. Wah, wahhh wahhh. Are they really going to do this? In this position? Then again, it wouldn't be the first time. But it's been a while. As she was thinking this, his lips brush across her neck and she feels a wincing pain. 

O--h, he only wants blood. Lila sighs quietly in relief. As much as she likes being touched by Haruka whenever they do it here, she feels afraid. . .. She doesn't want that person to see. She doesn't want to hurt him any more than she already is.

"Sorry." Haruka apologized as he pulled away. "I'm not very good at this. I don't know how to…"

Her gaze softened when she heard his apologetic tone.

"It's okay."

Haruka looked away embarra.s.sed. "I think I should say this now. The reason I didn't take blood from you when we first dated was because of my previous actions."

Lila laughed softly. "I see."

He extended his hand out and helped her up. "Sorry, the floor must have been cold." Haruka brushed his fingers across her neck. "Do you have bandages?"

She shook her head. "Nope."

"A scarf?"

Again Lila shook her head. Haruka looked very troubled and she laughed. It seems like this is difficult for him. 

"Lila, did something else happen? I've been meaning to ask you but then that incident happened. You have been acting strange for awhile now."

Ah...

"Ahuh, various things have happened."

'When I'm with you. Sometimes I feel really sad. I know it can't be helped. Our situation was strange from the beginning and yet.... '

Even though Kiryu embraced her and apologised. For some reason, those words are really weighing down on her mind right now. 

"Well, I am paying for my mistakes. But even then, I still feel sad. I feel like somebody is ripping my heart out. So why can't I ever cry? I'm able to cry about jealousy issues...and getting injured. But for things that concern the heart, I can't cry. I've been like that since I was a child. I think it would be better if I just cried." Lila mumbled.

Why is she so heartless? No wonder people call her cold hearted.

"I would probably sleep better and be more motivated if I just cried. But the tears wouldn't come.."

Even in that situation, normally one would have cried and yet she didn't. She can't force herself to cry. These past seventeen years, no since that day, her time has stopped; and something heavy emerged as a replacement. 

Haruka caresses her cheeks softly and places a light kiss on the temple of her forehead. It's warm.

"Are you comfortable, Lila?"