I Was Born The Unloved Twin 72 Flotation Device Tes

The sun is peeking to s.h.i.+ne, sparkling beautiful light on the s.h.i.+mmering flowing water. A light breeze rustles the trees, hints of frost already in the air. It's crisp, cold, and golden. A beautiful morning to go fis.h.i.+ng.

But why the h.e.l.l are we already on the water?!?!?!?

What the- I feel like Gable. Confused and ready to curse off swears a mile a minute. Where the h.e.l.l- what is going on?!?!

I'm not even on a boat! It's an inflated raft, very much like a kiddy pool or a floatie cus.h.i.+oned up. A dog bed essentially! A dog bed floating down the not so lazy river! There's only this flimsy thing separating me from dropping like a chubby rock in the possibly freezing raging river!

Okay no panicking! No sudden movements! Nice rus.h.i.+ng water, oh no the spray of it is cold.

"You're really ok? Just don't jump off?"

"I know that!"

"Wait can you swim?"

"Not well!!!"

I am not panicking, this is just a really bad way to wake up. It's a prank! A very bad prank. One moment I was peacefully in dreamland, and when I awoke I was suddenly floating in the middle of this river.

Who wouldn't scream? Just a little?

"Maybe you should stay in the middle?"

My death grip on the edge of the floatie device loosens as I'm half lifted by Amar to be relocated center of the floatie. Probably for the best as so I don't panic slip myself into the water. For extra safety, and to prevent flailing, I'm wrapped further like a burrito wrap with a blanket. Wow, much trust.

Curled up with a leg sticking out of his blanket coc.o.o.n is a snoozing Lukas, still blissfully ignorant to the current situation we're in. Well, he's in for one h.e.l.l of a wake up call.

Okay, let's a.s.sess the situation and reason out how we got here.

I specifically recall sneaking out of bed to get schooled by Lukas on his 'the great fis.h.i.+ng!" plan. We had a lovely little hiking exercise, where my balance and stamina was put to the test, back and forth and even stocked up on some 'fis.h.i.+ng gear'. Not Gable sanctioned mind you but Lukas has his ways.

What a mischievous child! Gable must have his hands full.

We took another path around and managed to sneak back to Luka's bedroom. My sister still drooling in her sleep, no alarms, no scolding Gable, we were in the clear. Sleepy, aka sugar crashed, as I was I didn't bother trying to climb back up that crib and just knocked out in Luka's den with the boys. I don't know what time it was in that darkness but we must have spent anywhere from two or hours rummaging about in the night.

I swore we all fell asleep nice and sound in the bed, very much indoors. How did we end up here?

"Is this perhaps one of Gable's illusions?" I wonder.

To be fair it's like the top of Luka's bed here, comfortable and cus.h.i.+oned. It's just that it's placed ontop this odd raft. Feels like a water park ride. Maybe we're all caught up in another illusion? My only awake compansion looks around to the pa.s.sing scenery with owlishly large eyes, trying to place what we're seeing.

"Maybe? But I don't think so- this looks like above ground. Lukas and I have seen this part of the forest before."

True, the orange red foliage and wide rus.h.i.+ng river looked to match the outside scenery of the woods much more than the stable artificial gardens that Gable kept. But what's to say this isn't just another really good illusion? He's even got the morning wind down, brrr it's chilly when one first wakes up.

"Do you recognize where we are then? Or where we're going? There's no giant waterfall coming up right?"

"I think so? There's nothing dangerous I think? And the water is stable, I don't hear any increase in the water? But Lukas would know this area better."

"ZzzzzzzzZzz"

We look down at our hope and guide with different expressions, but the same conclusion. We gotta wake up Lukas.

"How is he still asleep?" I wonder to which Amar shrugs, poking the sleeping lump repeatedly. I try smacking the sleeping boy, at first lightly, and then more violently.

Nope, nothing. It's a log. He twitches a bit but rolls over and continues cutely snoozing. His fluffy hair even poofier from bedhead. Actually I think all of us have a case of kiddy bed head, I definitely got an eye booger to rub off.

"What are the chances he's gonna flail and fall off?" I ask, giving up on smacking to rub the sleep fully from my eyes.

"Mmmmm probably worse than you did? But he has better balance and reactions? So he won't fall, just rock a lot." The other boy leans back, eyeing the pa.s.sing rapids thoughtfully.

I look back and forth between a sleeping Lukas and the deceptively cold morning water. It's not that deep but, hmm. A pa.s.sing fancy, one that nice little children in possibly dangerous situations should not have, crosses my mind.

"Ahhh, I see.....hey wanna dunk him in the water?"

"Yeah. "

"Great, how do you wanna do this?"

"Hold his head? s.h.i.+rt? I'll get the feet, it's heavier."

Happy Birthday, Lukas.

Since we're already here might as well take advantage of the situation and the elements. What's a sleepover without a bad prank? As long as I'm not the one being pranked. Also I maybe sorta blame Lukas. There really was no way Gable didn't know or find out later on. This has got to be some punishment, grampa style. I had another near heart attack upon waking up.

So after rolling the sleeping lump to the edge and making sure we were both steady, we positioned and dipped the brat. Not headfirst exactly but close? On his side?

"YAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!! COLD COLD COLD!!!"

Good news, Lukas is awake.

Bad news, he splashes like a performing seal and obviously everyone was in splash zone.

Kinda good news? Upon his amazing wake up call, he's frozen a quarter of the river around us so that we rest on an icy bank. Our own little glacier.

I may need a change of clothes asap but I must say it was worth it. Lukas screamed like an angry cat to the bath. And from this experiment, it is confirmed that yes, the frosty boy can still feel cold. How interesting.

"Oi! You guys!" He screeches, sopping wet and looking every bit the drowned cat he sounds like.

"Oh good we got to you in time! You were rolling in your sleep." starts Amar.

"Yeah! We tried to wake you but it didn't work. We were trying to figure out where we were when all of a sudden you were at the edge." With no further prompting needed, I play along.

"I know you can swim but it's still really bad to fall in."

"Yeah, you just kept rolling!"

"I didn't think you would fall off?"

"It was really concerning, do you always sleep like that? Do you fall off your bed a lot Lukas?."

"Sorry I wasn't quick enough to catch you. I didn't notice and Rosa was scarred."

"Here I have, uh a towel in my baggie? And a sweater!"

"Whoa thanks for making us a path back to land Lukas! Your magic is really amazing."

Lukas' isn't suspicious at all as he looks back and forth between us, pouting and teeth chattering through it all.

"Of course I'm amazing, ahhh cold cold. Geeez I hate waking up by water, normally it's only a bucket's worth. Ah cold cold, where are we?"

"You know better than we do Lukas. Do you recognize these parts of the woods?" I ask, throwing layers of towels at him.

I almost feel bad for the kid, he's getting caught up and fooled so easily by us. But it was funny.

There there Lukas, dry off. I am always prepared as long as I have my s.p.a.ce baggie. Don't ever want to be caught without nothing, again. Isn't this just a bottomless purse?

I do note to be cautious of anything that ever comes out of Amar's mouth though. That was too smooth. Mischevious child number two showing his true colors, what a liar.

"Hmm we're at the river duh." responds Lukas, drying off.

His little head turning fluffier and fluffier through friction. I roll my eyes at the very helpful answer while Amar innocently smiles and helps the other boy dress into something dry.

"But where at the river?" I droll, adequately redressing myself. Yay for infinite s.p.a.ce bag, I don't know what I'd do without this cheat of a thing.

"You know! Oh wait know you don't. Um, not that far away, not if you go by boat."

"By boat? So we're far from the house, got it." I reason. How long have we been merrily floating down this lazy river?

"Are we near any of the fis.h.i.+ng spots?" asks Amar, eyes already scouting out across the water.

Since we already made it this far, might as well. But is no one but me bothering about this messed up situation? Don't be so easy going you brats!

"Do we even know where they are? And if this isn't an illusion, then why are we out here?"

Lukas closes his eyes and nods like he's deep in though, though it looks more like a child copying someone elses action than anything. He resolutely nods, opening his eyes and founding his fists.

"I see. It's a test!" shouts the boy.

"....really now....this...surprise is a test?"

"Yep! I bet Cap' and Gable are testing me on something! Or maybe Cap' got worried I would beat him on fis.h.i.+ng! So he set us off super early so we couldn't prepare! Well jokes on them because we did!"

Right, sure.

As unbelievably far fetched as Luka's theory is, with my grandpa I really can't say. The old man is insane. It won't be the first time he launched a kid into a dangerous thing and it probably won't be the last.

"We still have the gear we hid under the bed." remarks Amar, pulling out a mix of netting and rods that I didn't store in my baggie.

"So that's it? Grampa really did set us off huh?"

"Looks like it."

"Challenge accepted! Let's get to fis.h.i.+ng! Onwards!"

"Can we go ash.o.r.e real quick? I have to pee." raises Amar, pointing to the ice path leading to land.

It looks solid enough but who knows? Not like we have much choice unless Lukas wants to freeze more roads for us. I too have the bladder of a toddler and consumed a copious amount of soda last in the middle of the night. Nature's pretty and all out here but it calls.

"Yeah, me too." I echo.

"Okay okay okay fine, break. I gotta go too. Did anyone pack breakfast or something?"

You know for a bunch of brats left in the woods we're handling this pretty well. Lilyanne would be left crying by the whole situation. Which is a good thing she isn't here. Grampa really did just gather us up and dropped us out here in the middle of nowhere again.

After a quick relieving trip to our designated trees and a forced hand was.h.i.+ng, we're back in the dingy bed floatie. Going by river is much faster, and lazier, than walking.

"Okay now pus.h.!.+"

"....Can't you just unfreeze us Lukas?"

"Yes-no- I don't know! But onwards!"

Guess unfreezing is the next lesson for our Jack Frost. No use in complaining. After the boys smack the surrounding ice loose a bit, we can push off and be on our merry way.

Geez I can't believe Gable let grampa get away with this but hey, if we're out here then it must be fine.

It really is a pretty day out, still cold though.

Huh what was that? A fish? Steer this thing that way guys! Here fishy fishy, come to my tummy. I have a sas.h.i.+mi craving and you're gonna fufill it.

"Hey wait I have a question. Where are we going to store caught fish? In here?"

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Meanwhile:

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"Ron....where are the children?" asked Gable, carrying a bubbly little girl in his arms.

His sudden appearance caused Ronald to stop his sneaking. Instead, he just settled for securing his pack, stuffing a last piece of pastry into his mouth.

"....In bed?"

"No they're not, for I was just in Luka's room."

"....they're definitely still in bed."

"...and where IS the bed?"

"....On a floatie?"

"The thing you were testing out?"

"...yes?"

"....and where- per say- is your floatie?"

"....on the water?"

"Where on the water?!?!"

"Well I a.s.sume from the flow of the river, down thaaaaaaaat way."

Ronald gestured to the general direction, downstream of where the nearby major river would flow.

"You floated the children down the river!!!?"

"Noooo I placed them on the floatie, on the water and ....then they floated down themselves."

"They did now did they? All by themselves? Without you?"

"Um...yes?"

Gable's eyebrow was doing that twitching thing, but he couldn't attack. Not when there was an innocent witness in the room. Also not when he needed Ronald to actually go out there to retrieve the kids, he sure as h.e.l.l wasn't doing it.

"Why for G.o.d's sake would you do that?!"

"I didn't mean to! I thought it would be fun and adorable to tug them along on the float by boat! It was going to be a surprise! A 'wake up and look, we're at the fis.h.i.+ng spot already! Isn't this nice!" But while I wasn't looking the floatie....got loose."

"You lost the kids, who are all sugared out unconscious, to float downstream?!!!"

"Gaaaaabe, it's not like there's a major waterfall or anything...they'll be fine. I would think they'd be fine...they have Rosa? Yeah it's fine. I'll catch up to them reeeeal soon."

Even with a baby in his arms Gable looked threatening, ready to wring his neck. Which is fun and all but not right now? It was kinda nostalgic really, like when Maria was small!

"When!? What did you lose them and why are you not out there catching them!?"

"I was hungry? Thought the kids would like lunch later? Or breakfast, time is weird. "

"They will BE lunch to some of those migrating fish."

"Ehhh they'll get out before they're digested, Ack kidding kidding, going now! Bye Lily baby! Bye Gabbey baby!"

"Go before I turn you into fish food."

"Going!"

The blond paces to slam the door shut after the other man. He was so glad he never had kids, less stress if Ronald was in the picture.

"Hehe bye bye fishy grampy! Pway?" giggles and squinting little toddler.

Even if they were cute.

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Bonus:

"Amar that's now how we're supposed to do it!" complains Lukas, pole in hand, waiting on the fish to bite.

Our storage problem is somewhat solved after we settled ourselves to park to bed floatie in a decent spot. It only took over half an hour to find a great one. Nice gra.s.sy bank, some nearby shady trees to park under, and lots prey swimming around. How delicious looking.

"Rosalia tell him!"

"Tell him what?"

"That's not the way the commander showed us to fis.h.!.+ They don't count!"

"Which ways count then? I wasn't here for the rules."

The boy beside me puffs up a little to repeat what must have been grampa's wise words.

"It's a battle. A battle of timing, and precision and ultimately strength! When they bite, reel them in but don't attack until you see the white of their eyes!"

"What is that even supposed to mean?"

"Like I know! I'll crack it eventually. Anyways back me up and tell Amar he can't do that!"

I'm confused but anything grampa related tends to have that effect on me. Instead of really responding I go back to trying to properly light this fire. Fish is great and all but fis.h.i.+ng bores me, just sitting around waiting. Fis.h.i.+ng is a patient sport and I think we're all the wrong kind of people for that. Lukas especially, he's practically vibrating in his seat.

Besides, I don't think this is the right spot for this kind of fis.h.i.+ng.

"I don't know Lukas, he might be on to something."

"There's no pole! You have to wait and pull at the pole."

"Sure...if they weren't hopping around everywhere. Yo Amar! How many did you catch so far!"

Out in the middle of the shallow river, utterly soaked to his waist trudge Amar with a net of fat squirming multicolored fish. He's gonna have to come back to sh.o.r.e soon to unload since his sole net was filling up.

"I don't know? 20? You guys should come out here and try it! They just jump right at you!"

True to his words a bright red thing comes shooting at the boy's face, to which he gratefully accepts to throw into the net. Fast reflexes catching the thing easily before it slaps him. Not the cleanest way of catching fish but I can't see the problem when it's free.

Much more productive than just....waiting.

"Gee and how much did you get Lukas?~" I tease.

"You didn't get any either." the boy mumbles grumpily, his little ego hurting.

"Right, they're just not biting over here. Hey what if we tried say going in the middle, where all the action is?"

By we I mean you, I'm short. Those flying fish really will smack me in the face. h.e.l.l, they'll eat me whole.

"We're going for the biggest one....big" he grumbles.

"I don't think that's an issue if you do it Amar style."

"Huh what makes you so sure of that? You kept saying last night we were gonna scare the fish away."

Instead of answering, I point back to our MVP fisherman, who has literally turned into a fish kid.

Sorry to be more accurate, a fish with a gigantic mouth hopped out to possibly eat the boy. It's huge. Not as big as the model Lukas showed us last night but back enough to engulf the head and upper body of 5 year old.

"I caught a big one!" comes the fish boy's m.u.f.fled yelling, much to our astonishment.

"That's it!" screeches Lukas, pulling off his shoes and flinging his socks before splas.h.i.+ng his way in. Go Lukas go! Go get your fis.h.!.+ I'm rooting for you!

"But can you bring those one ash.o.r.e first?"

Especially that big one? You know the one trying to eat Amar's head. I'm getting hungry here.

But alas Lukas must barehandedly catch a few on his own before calming down enough to help bring Amar back to sh.o.r.e in the right direction. He can't exactly see in that thing. Shouldn't he try getting it off soon?

"You're right Lukas, this is fun!" exclaims Amar after we get breakfast, or is it lunch, to pop off of him. I don't know, time is weird.

"Lukas do you want to make an ice box or should I hold the catches? I can only fit the small ones though."

I make to open my bag. Yes, only those that can fit through the mouth, this big fellow right here gets to be eaten fresh today.

One solid ice chest later, we got somewhat of a system going on here. Some choice small fish have been stabbed with a stick and placed by the fire to roast. Not bad at all.

"Can anyone slice something up? It doesn't have to be the big one if we're saving it." I request.

"Yeah sure which one do you want?" gestures Lukas, lifting the lid.

I hmmm and consider my options in the ice chest like I'm choosing a donut out the box. And not, a half dead fresh fish. I don't know, what's not poisonous here? Hmm what to choose? My brain trying to recall the fish cla.s.sification lessons Lukas crammed into me yesterday. I do recognize a few but really, familiarity is best.

Also cravings.

"Hmm that one, the salm-err pink crested nerka!"

With a flick of a knife that I'm not sure where it came from, Amar was quick to pick up, descale and debone the still squirming thing on a table of ice. Niiiiice.

"Like this is fine?" he asks towards some clean cuts of orange pink fillets. I try indicating my desired cuts with my fingers.

"Can you slice them up really thin, but not too thin. Say this much?" I gesture, hopefully clearly enough.

"Well ok, that's fine."

"Are you making soup or something Rosalia? They're too small like that to cook."

Lukas looks curiously over as he pokes at a fire cooking fish that's still not ready, as if it will make it cook faster.

"Oh I'm not cooking them." I simply explain.

"...what? Amar what did she say?"

"You're not...cooking them?"

Ignoring their confusion I take the ice plate of perfect cuts of sas.h.i.+mi with a polite thanks and very much excitement out of his hands.

My biggest shame is that I don't have any soy sauce, or sus.h.i.+ rice or really any of the condiments to dip and enjoy this with. I have lemon though? Maybe balsamic salad dressing? Salmon is still really tasty on its own.

Oh well, work with what you got!

Breaking out my custom commissioned baby chopsticks, I have to hold back my drool. This taste I haven't had in so long, finally!

Time to eat!
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Delicious! Fresh fatty salmon, or whatever this is, is really delicious! AH, I haven't had sas.h.i.+mi in so long. Over two years! I've never been that long without sus.h.i.+ before. Glad to see these childish tastebuds can handle it just fine.

Is it tastier because it's been freshly caught or because I've been without for so long? This fattiness is just too good! There was never a good opportunity to requests my chefs to prepare sas.h.i.+mi for me!

It taste good on the first bite but the more I chew, the more the deliciousness spreads through my mouth. Shame this one was a male and I couldn't enjoy the roe- not like I have rice to properly eat them.

Not only is this my first taste of salmon, pure fresh delicious salmon, in years. But it's such a big amount! This would have been much more expensive at a sus.h.i.+ restaurant you know?

So good, this fresh fatty richness is so amazingly good without being heavy or overbearing. These are the good points of sas.h.i.+mi! Should I try another? Maybe a white fleshed fish this time? That one over there kinda resembles a snapper? But salmon is just so good! I could keep eating this for a while.

For some odd reason, the boys are clutching at each other with oddly terrified expressions. They're even shaking! Why are they looking at me like I'm some sort of monster? How rude.

This kind of reminds of that time I made the stupid prince pa.s.s out. Was that really a year ago? Ah good times.

"It's just fish guys, no need to be scared. It's really delicious. You already eat it cooked on a plate. Hey, do you want to try some too?"

Hey hey hey don't back away like that!

Trust me it's really good!

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