Humanity Online: World Sanctuary 25 Daring Tricks, Part Six

The third level-up notification sounds as the final monster falls.

You'd think a 42-killstreak would be enough to placate Aku for its first battle, but the black blade still thrums with insatiable bloodl.u.s.t.

Zen is calm, however.

These cursed blades are so bada.s.s, I need to buy sheaths, so I can wear them on my belt and show them off.

'Course, I need to buy pants before I can actually wear my belt...

Luckily, I scored a pair of black fingerless gloves (+1 STR, +5% Attack) from one of the yokai. Viren's Refuge is particular about storage s.p.a.ces. Spatial jewelry, bags, and pockets are used for Item & Gear Storage only. Weapons must be stored in special spatial hand-gear: gloves, bracelet-type jewelry, wrist.w.a.tches, and wrist cuffs.

You can program each weapon slot with a corresponding hand signal for Quick Draw. Because I'm super cool and awesome, I use ninjutsu hand seals for Zen and Aku. I also scored an excellent White-tier throwing dart called Whistling Starfall (+2 AGI, +1 INT, firepower) from this weird porcupine-looking yokai, so I store and program a hand seal for it as well.

Four monsters dropped Yellow-tier tooth-like daggers so weak compared to Zen'aku, I think of them as letter openers and accidentally try to store them in my spatial earring. When I correct my mistake and add them to the glove weapon storage, I swear I feel a flash of annoyance from Aku, and even Zen gleams a little brighter, as if to demonstrate what a REAL blade is supposed to be.

After an hour of fighting and running lost in a forest, I'm completely out of stamina cherries, but I'm rolling in monster parts, Wraith Remnants, monster blood crystals (used for elixirs), and herbs. Plus, those Kappas hooked me up with a Sumo Skillbook and some sweet pauldrons (shoulder armor).

(They also dropped a Kappa Sh.e.l.l Stew Recipe, so apparently the game took my impa.s.sioned battle cry a little too seriously.)

[ Kappa Pauldrons ] {White}

To Equip: Level 15 / Strength 10 + Agility 10

Victor's Secret: a padded bra, but for manly shoulders! These leather-and-sh.e.l.l pauldrons are imbued with the power of the Kappa, a mythical water demon. Light Armor. +10% Defense, +4 Strength, +3 Agility, +8% Water Speed.

I'm also completely covered in green and red blood, and my HP is sitting pretty in the Red Zone.

It's f.u.c.king great.

-----

The change in music tells me I'm almost at the end of this Quest of Daring.

(The abrupt end to the path clues me in as well.)

A ma.s.sive red-orange Torii gate stands tall at the base of shadowed stone steps. Fitting grandiosity for the entrance to the final Boss.

Or, at least, it would be, if the sweeping magnificence weren't utterly destroyed by the creepy ghost babies licking oil out of the gate lanterns.

Whyyyy with the horrifying children, Viren's Refuge?!

[ Torii Gate AburAkago ]

[Level 8, HP 500/500]

Literally "oil-licking baby."

Sigh.

I think about just going past them—they're babies, can't be that hard to dodge—but my loot sense is tingling. These orange-eyed, long-tongued freaks are the key to last-minute pre-Boss treasure.

Worried Zen might think it's a d.i.c.k move to slice up dead kids and Curse me, I decide to leave my weapons in storage.

So great, now I'm punching babies.
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Much better.

(Seriously, what the actual f.u.c.k, devs?!)

The ghost babies spit corrosive oil that pits the stones, but the sounds they're making are way more terrifying.

At least I can dodge the oil.

No amount of therapy is ever going to let me unhear the feral-cat hissing mixed with the crazed baby giggles.

To drown out the horror, I slam my hands over my ears, start humming the Star Wars Imperial March, and proceed to kick the c.r.a.p out of some demon ghost babies. (Possibly literally. They're wearing diapers, so...)

I'm still humming when the final red HP bar vanishes, so I miss the twinkling bell that indicates a treasure chest has appeared. But I'd recognize the warm, happy glow of a White-Tier chest anywhere. I round a giant pillar and there it is, my precious loot.

90% Chance of a Yellow-Tier item. 9% Chance for White-tier. 1% Chance of obtaining Damaged Goods.

"Please be pants, please be pants, please be pants." I open the chest.

[s.h.i.+n.o.bi Warrior Tunic] {Blue - DAMAGED}

The ripped look is in, right? +5% Defense. Increased Stealth. +2 Vitality. Note: To fully reveal this tunic's attributes, repair item before durability runs out!

Durability 5/250

Sigh.

At least it comes in black.

Resigned, I equip the tunic, mostly for the HP auto-fill that comes with increasing the Vitality stat (only available the first time a +VIT item is equipped). I choose to believe the ripped, shredded look adds to my bloodthirsty warrior persona.

It would probably help if the bottom weren't so frayed; to my distress, my hot pink boxers remain perfectly visible.

Welp, can't be helped. It's only right I finish this quest the way I started it: pantsless and proud.

I accept the EXP, Wraith Remnants, and jar of oil from my Battle Log, shake out my muscles, roll my shoulders back, and start the march up to the Boss.

Me: Step, step.

Not-Me: Step-step, step-step.

Me: Step, step, step.

Not-Me: Step-shuffle-step, shuffle-step, step-shuffle-step.

"d.a.m.nit, I thought I lost you," I groan. "Return of the Stalker Stepper."

I hurry up, but predictably, the phantom steps hurry up as well. "Screw it," I mutter, stopping suddenly. I move to the side and offer a sweeping gesture. "After you, Ghost Dude."

"Thank you, good sir," Ghost Dude replies.

"No problemo," I wave off the thanks.

Then I freeze. My jaw drops. WHAT THE FUUU—

An icy blast knocks me off the stairs as the shuffling footsteps hurry past me.

"Sayonara!" Ghost Dude calls out one last time, and then the footsteps fade to nothing.

"You've got to be kidding." I sit, shocked, for a few minutes before my brain turns back on.

{ Betoneto-San }

+50 EXP

Nightfall Bonus: 2x EXP

Good Manners Bonus: +50 Reputation Among Undead NPCs, +1 Perception

Whatever drugs the devs are on, I want some.

Shaking my head, I drag myself back onto the stairs to finish this bizarre journey.

In no time, I reach the top. A giant moss-covered cedar tree soars up front and center; its branches form an umbrelllike canopy that completely blocks the moonlight. At its base stands a traditional wooden s.h.i.+nto shrine.

In front of the shrine, the ground is made up of stone tiles forming a circular mosaic. I step closer, trying to make out the shape in the center of the mosaic.

The music volume explodes as drum-heavy rock starts blaring. Blazing flames light up the stone lanterns ringing the mosaic floor.

I can see the mosaic image now.

Kinda wish I couldn't.

Monstrous red-black demon face, flame-filled eyes, blood dripping down its pointed chin and staining its yellow fangs, headless corpse of its victim clutched in one vicious, b.l.o.o.d.y claw. His other clawed hand swings a giant, wooden club with bits of bone and entrails stuck to its jagged spikes.

"ROAAAAAAR!"

The entire mountain shakes as the Boss rushes out from behind the giant tree.

[Oni no Gekido - Demon of Wrath]

[Level 25 - HP 120,000/120,000]

"What the h.e.l.l?! The first Boss of the beta was a Level 10 n.o.body with barely 1500 HP! What's going on?!"

[Special Boss Alert: Because you've slain more than 50 creatures of the forest, you have attracted the attention of a Special Boss! Prepare for Battle, brave Hero! (You're probably going to die.)]