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"I ought to know what sherry is,--'Dodd and Dempsey's' was the great house for sherry."
"By the way," said the Knight, "did not you promise me a little narrative of Dodd and Dempsey, when we parted yesterday?"
"To be sure, I did. Will you have it now?"
Lady Eleanor and Helen rose to withdraw; but Mr. Dempsey, who took the movement as significant, immediately interposed, by saying,--
"Don't stir, ma'am,-sit down, ladies, I beg; there's nothing broad in the story,--it might be told before the maids of honor."
Lady Eleanor and Helen were thunderstruck at the explanation, and the Knight laughed till the tears came.
"My dear Eleanor," said he, "you really must accept Mr. Dempsey's a.s.surance, and listen to his story now."
The ladies took their seats once more, and Mr. Dempsey, having filled his gla.s.s, drank off a b.u.mper; but whether it was that the narrative itself demanded a greater exertion at his hands, or that the cold quietude of Lady Eleanor's manner abashed him, but he found a second b.u.mper necessary before he commenced his task.
"I say," whispered he to the Knight, "couldn't you get that decanter out of Leonard's reach before I begin? He'll not leave a drop in it while I am talking."
As if he felt that, after his explanation, the tale should be more particularly addressed to Lady Eleanor, he turned his chair round so as to face her, and thus began:--
"There was once upon a time, ma'am, a Lord-Lieutenant of Ireland who was a Duke. Whether he was Duke of Rutland, or Bedford, or Portland, or any other t.i.tle it was he had, my memory does n't serve me; it is enough, however, if I say he was immensely rich, and, like many other people in the same way, immensely in debt. The story goes that he never travelled through England, and caught sight of a handsome place, or fine domain, or a beautiful cottage, that he did n't go straightway to the owner and buy it down out of the face, as a body might say, whether he would or no. And so in time it came to pa.s.s that there was scarcely a county in England without some magnificent house belonging to him. In many parts of Scotland he had them too, and in all probability he would have done the same in Ireland, if he could. Well, ma'am, there never was such rejoicings as Dublin saw the night his Grace arrived to be our Viceroy.
To know that we had got a man with one hundred and fifty thousand a year, and a spirit to spend double the money, was a downright blessing from Providence, and there was no saying what might not be the prosperity of Ireland under so auspicious a ruler.
"To do him justice, he did n't balk public expectation. Open house at the Castle, ditto at the Lodge in the Park, a mansion full of guests in the county Wicklow, a pack of hounds in Kildare, twelve horses training at the Curragh, a yacht like a little man-of-war in Dunleary harbor, large subscriptions to everything like sport, and a pension for life to every man that could sing a jolly song, or write a witty bit of poetry.
Well, ma'am, they say, who remember those days, that they saw the best of Ireland; and surely I believe, if his Grace had only lived, and had his own way, the peerage would have been as pleasant, and the bench of bishops as droll, and the ladies of honor as--Well, never mind, I 'll pa.s.s on." Here Mr. Dempsey, to console himself for the abruptness of his pause, poured out and drank another b.u.mper of sherry. "Pleasant times they were." said he, smacking his lips; "and faith, if Tom Leonard himself was alive then, the color of his nose might have made him Commander of the Forces; but, to continue, it was Dodd and Dempsey's house supplied the sherry,-only the sherry, ma'am; old Stewart, of Belfast, had the port, and Kinnahan the claret and lighter liquors. I may mention, by the way, that my grandfather's contract included brandy, and that he would n't have given it up for either of the other two. It was just about this time that Dodd died, and my grandfather was left alone in the firm; but whether it was out of respect for his late partner, or that he might have felt himself lonely, but he always kept up the name of Dodd on the bra.s.s plate, and signed the name along with his own; indeed, they say that he once saluted his wife by the name of Mrs. Dodd and Dempsey. But, as I was saying, it was one of those days when my grandfather was seated on a high stool in the back office of his house in Abbey Street, that a fine, tall young fellow, with a blue frock-coat, all braided with gold, and an elegant c.o.c.ked-hat, with a plume of feathers in it, came tramping into the room, his spurs jingling, and his bra.s.s sabre clinking, and his sabretash banging at his legs.
"'Mr. Dempsey?' said he.
"'D. and D.,' said my grandfather,--'that is, Dodd and Dempsey, your Grace,' for he half suspected it was the Duke himself.
"'I am Captain M'Claverty, of the Scots Greys,' said he, 'first aide-de-camp to his Excellency.'
"'I hope you may live to be colonel of the regiment,' said my grandfather, for he was as polite and well-bred as any man in Ireland.
"'That's too good a sentiment,' said the captain, 'not to be pledged in a gla.s.s of your own sherry.'
"'And we'll do it too,' said old Dempsey. And he opened the desk, and took out a bottle he had for his own private drinking, and uncorked it with a little pocket corkscrew he always carried about with him, and he produced two gla.s.ses, and he and the captain hobn.o.bbed and drank to each other.
"'Begad!' said the captain, 'his Grace sent me to thank you for the delicious wine you supplied him with, but it's nothing to this,---not to be compared to it.'
"'I 've better again,' said my grandfather. 'I 've wine that would bring the tears into your eyes when you saw the decanter getting low.'
"The captain stared at him, and maybe it was that the speech was too much for his nerves, but he drank off two gla.s.ses one after the other as quick as he could fill them out.
"'Dempsey,' said he, looking round cautiously, 'are we alone?'
"'We are,' said my grandfather.
"'Tell me, then,' said M'Claverty, 'how could his Grace get a taste of this real sherry--for himself alone, I mean? Of course, I never thought of his giving it to the Judges, and old Lord Dunboyne, and such like.'
"'Does he ever take a little sup in his own room, of an evening?'
"'I am afraid not, but I 'll tell you how I think it might be managed.
You 're a snug fellow, Dempsey, you 've plenty of money muddling away in the bank at three-and-a-half per cent; could n't you contrive, some way or other, to get into his Excellency's confidence, and lend him ten or fifteen thousand or so?'
"'Ay, or twenty,' said my grandfather,--'or twenty, if he likes it'
"'I doubt if he would accept such a sum,' said the captain, shaking his head; 'he has bags of money rolling in upon him every week or fortnight; sometimes we don't know where to put them.'
"'Oh, of course,' said my grandfather; 'I meant no offence, I only said twenty, because, if his Grace would condescend, it is n't twenty, but a fifty thousand I could give him, and on the nail too.'
"'You're a fine fellow, Dempsey, a devilish fine fellow; you 're the very kind of fellow the Duke likes,--open-handed, frank, and generous.'
"'Do you really think he'd like me?' said my grandfather; and he rocked on the high stool, so that it nearly came down.
"'Like you! I'll tell you what it is,' said he, laying his hand on my grandfather's knee, 'before one week was over, he could n't do without you. You 'd be there morning, noon, and night; your knife and fork always ready for you, just like one of the family.'
"'Blood alive!' said my grandfather, 'do you tell me so?'
"'I 'll bet you a hundred pounds on it, sir.'
"'Done,' said my grandfather, 'and you must hold the stakes;' and with that he opened his black pocket-book, and put a note for the amount into the captain's hand.
"'This is the 31st of March,' said the captain, taking out his pencil and tablets. 'I 'll just book the bet.'
"And, indeed," added Mr. Dempsey, "for that matter, if it was a day later it would have been only more suitable.
"Well, ma'am, what pa.s.sed between them afterwards I never heard said; but the captain took his leave, and left my grandfather so delighted and overjoyed that he finished all the sherry in the drawer, and when the head clerk came in to ask for an invoice, or a thing of the kind, he found old Mr. Dempsey with his wig on the high stool, and he bowing round it, and calling it your Grace. There 's no denying it, ma'am, he was blind drunk.
"About ten days or a fortnight after this time, my grandfather received a note from Teesum and Twist, the solicitors, stating that the draft or the bond was already drawn up for the loan he was about to make his Grace, and begging to know to whom it was to be submitted.
"'The captain will win his bet, devil a lie in it,' said my grandfather; 'he's going to bring the Duke and myself together.'
"Well, ma'am, I won't bother you with the law business, though if my father was telling the story he would not spare you one item of it all,--who read this, and who signed the other, and the objections that was made by them thieving attorneys! and how the Solicitor-General struck out this and put in that clause; but to tell you the truth, ma'am, I think that all the details spoil, what we may call, the poetry of the narrative; it is finer to say he paid the money, and the Duke pocketed it.
"Well, weeks went over and months long, and not a bit of the Duke did my grandfather see, nor M'Claverty either; he never came near him. To be sure, his Grace drank as much sherry as ever; indeed, I believe out of love to my grandfather they drank little else. From the bishops and the chaplain, down to the battle-axe guards, it was sherry, morning, noon, and night; and though this was very pleasing to my grandfather, he was always wis.h.i.+ng for the time when he was to be presented to his Grace, and their friends.h.i.+p was to begin. My grandfather could think of nothing else, daylight and dark. When he walked, he was always repeating to himself what his Grace might say to him, and what he would say to his Grace; and he was perpetually going up at eleven o'clock, when the guard was relieved in the Castle-yard, suspecting that every now and then a footman in blue and silver would come out, and, touching his elbow, whisper in his ear, 'Mr. Dempsey, the Duke 's waiting for you.' But, my dear ma'am, he might have waited till now, if Providence had spared him, and the devil a taste of the same message would ever have come near him, or a sight of the same footman in blue! It was neither more nor less than a delusion, or an illusion, or a confusion, or whatever the name of it is. At last, ma'am, in one of his prowlings about the Phoenix Park, who does he come on but M'Claverty? He was riding past in a great hurry; but he pulled up when he saw my grandfather, and called out, 'Hang it!
who's this? I ought to know _you_.'
"'Indeed you ought,' said my grandfather. 'I 'm Dodd and Dempsey, and by the same token there's a little bet between us, and I 'd like to know who won and who lost.'
"'I think there's small doubt about that,' said the captain. 'Did n't his Grace borrow twenty thousand of you?'
"'He did, no doubt of it.'
"'And was n't it _my_ doing?'
"'Upon my conscience, I can't deny it.'
"'Well, then, I won the wager, that's clear.'