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_Sunday the Twenty-seventh_
d.i.n.ky-Dunk is here. He arrived this morning, and we were all at the station in our best bib-and-tucker and making a fine show of being offhanded and light-hearted. But when I saw the porter helping down my Diddums, so white-faced and weak and tired-looking, something swelled up and burst just under my floating ribs and for a moment I thought my heart had had a blow-out like a tire and stopped working for ever and ever. Heaven knows I held my hands tight, and tried to be cheerful, but in spite of everything I could do, on the way home, I couldn't stop the tears from running slowly down my cheeks. They kept running and running, as though I had nothing to do with it, exactly as a wound bleeds. The poor man, of course, was done out by the long trip. He was just _blooey_, and saved himself from being pitiful by shrinking back into a sh.e.l.l of chalky-faced self-sufficiency. He has said very little, and has eaten nothing, but had a sleep this afternoon for a couple of hours, out in the _patio_ on a _chaise-longue_. It hurt him, I think, to find his own children look at him with such cold and speculative eyes. But he has changed shockingly since they last saw him. And they have so much to fill up their little lives. They haven't yet reached the age when life teaches them they'd better stick to what's given them, even though there's a bitter tang to its sweetness!
_Wednesday the Thirtieth_
It is incredible, what three days of rest and forced feeding at my implacable hands, have done for d.i.n.ky-Dunk. He is still a little shaky on his pins, if he walks far, and the noonday sun makes him dizzy, but his eyes don't look so much like saucers and I haven't heard the trace of a cough from him all to-day. Illness, of course, is not romantic, but it plays its altogether too important part in life, and has to be faced.
And there is something so disturbingly immuring and depersonalizing about it! d.i.n.ky-Dunk appears rather in a world by himself. Only once, so far, has he seemed to step back to our every-day old world. That was when he wandered into the Blue Room in the East Wing where little d.i.n.kie has been sleeping. I was seated beside his little lords.h.i.+p's bed singing:
"The little pigs sleep with their tails curled up,"
and when that had been exhausted, rambling on to
"The sailor being both tall and slim, The lady fell in love with him,"
when _pater familias_ wandered in and inquired, "Whyfore the cabaret?"
I explained that d.i.n.kie, since coming south, had seemed to demand an even-song or two before slipping off.
"I see that I'll have to take our son in hand," announced d.i.n.ky-Dunk--but there was just the shadow of a smile about his lips as he went slowly out and closed the door after him.
To-night, when I told d.i.n.ky-Dunk that Peter would in all likelihood be here to-morrow, he listened without batting an eyelash. But he asked if I'd mind handing him a cigarette, and he studied my face long and intently. I don't know what he saw there, or what he concluded, for I did my best to keep it as noncommittal as possible. If there is any move, it must be from him. That sour-inked Irishman called Shaw has said that women are the wooers in this world. A lot he knows about it!... Yet something has happened, in the last half-hour, which both disturbs and puzzles me. When I was unpacking d.i.n.ky-Dunk's second trunk, which had stood neglected for almost four long days, I came across the letter which I thought I'd put away in the back of the ranch ledger and had failed to find.... And he had it, all the time!
The redoubtable Struthers, it must be recorded, to-day handed me another paper, and almost as triumphantly as the first one. She'd picked it up on her way home from the druggist's, where she went for aspirin for d.i.n.ky-Dunk. On what was labeled its "Woman's Page" was yet another photographic reproduction of the fair Lady Allie in aviation togs and a head-line which read: "Insists On Tea Above The Clouds."
But I plainly disappointed the expectant Struthers by promptly handing the paper back to her and by declining to make any comment.
_Thursday the Thirty-first_
Peter walked in on us to-day, a little less spick and span, I'm compelled to admit, than I had expected of one in his position, but as easy and unconcerned as though he had dropped in from across the way for a cigarette and a cup of tea. And I played up to that pose by having Struthers wheel the tea-wagon out into the _patio_, where we gathered about it in a semicircle, as decorously as though we were sitting in a curate's garden to talk over the program for the next meeting of the Ladies' Auxiliary.
There we sat, d.i.n.ky-Dunk, my husband who was in love with another woman; Peter, my friend, who was in love with me, and myself, who was too busy bringing up a family to be in love with anybody. There we sat in that beautiful garden, in that balmy and beautiful afternoon sunlight, with the bamboos whispering and a mocking-bird singing from its place on the pepper-tree, stirring our small cups and saying "Lemon, please," or "Just one lump, thank you." It may not be often, but life _does_ occasionally surprise us by being theatrical. For I could not banish from my bones an impression of tremendous reservations, of guarded waiting and watching from every point of that sedate and quiet-mannered little triangle. Yet for only one moment had I seen it come to the front. That was during the moment when d.i.n.ky-Dunk and Peter first shook hands. On both faces, for that moment, I caught the look with which two knights measure each other. Peter, as he lounged back in his wicker chair and produced his familiar little briar pipe, began to remind me rather acutely of that pensive old _picador_ in Zuloaga's _The Victim of The Fete_, the placid and plaintive and only vaguely hopeful knight on his bony old Rosinante, not quite ignorant of the fact that he must forage on to other fields and look for better luck in newer ventures, yet not quite forgetful that life, after all, is rather a blithe adventure and that the man who refuses to surrender his courage, no matter what whimsical turns the adventure may take, is still to be reckoned the conqueror. But later on he was jolly enough and direct enough, when he got to showing d.i.n.ky-Dunk his books and curios. I suppose, at heart, he was about as interested in those things as an aquarium angel-fish is in a Sunday afternoon visitor. But if it was pretense, and nothing more, there was very actual kindliness in it. And there was nothing left for me but to sit tight, and refill the little lacquered gold cups when necessary, and smile non-committally when d.i.n.ky-Dunk explained that my idea of Heaven was a place where husbands were served _en brochette_, and emulate the Priest and the Levite by pa.s.sing by on the other side when Peter asked me if I'd ever heard that the West was good for mules and men but hard on horses and women. And it suddenly struck me as odd, the timidities and reticences which nature imposes on our souls. It seemed so ridiculous that the three of us couldn't sit there and unbosom our hearts of what was hidden away in them, that we couldn't be open and honest and aboveboard and say just what we felt and thought, that we couldn't quietly talk things out to an end and find where each and all of us stood. But men and women are not made that way. Otherwise, I suppose, life would be too Edenic, and we'd part company with a very old and venerable interest in Paradise!
[Ill.u.s.tration: "She's not dead?" I asked in a breath]
_Sat.u.r.day the Second_
Peter had arranged to come for us with a motor-car and carry us all off to the Rose Tournament yesterday morning, "for I do want to be sitting right next to that little tike of yours," he explained, meaning d.i.n.kie, "when he b.u.mps into his first bra.s.s band!"
But little d.i.n.kie didn't hear his bra.s.s band, and we didn't go to the Rose Tournament, although it was almost at our doors and some eighty thousand crowded automobiles foregathered here from the rest of the state to get a glimpse of it. For Peter, who is staying at the Greene here instead of at the Alexandria over in Los Angeles, presented himself before I'd even sat down to breakfast and before lazy old d.i.n.ky-Dunk was even out of bed.
Peter, I noticed, had a somewhat hollow look about the eye, but I accepted it as nothing more than the after-effects of his long trip, and blithely commanded him to sit down and partake of my coffee.
Peter, however, wasn't thinking about coffee.
"I'm afraid," he began, "that I'm bringing you rather--rather bad news."
We stood for a moment with our gazes locked. He seemed appraising me, speculating on just what effect this message of his might have on me.
"What is it?" I asked, with that forlorn tug at inner reserves which life teaches us to send over the wire as we grow older.
"I've come," explained Peter, "simply because this thing would have reached you a little later in your morning paper--and I hated the thought of having it spring out at you that way. So you won't mind, will you? You'll understand the motive behind the message?"
"But what is it?" I repeated, a little astonished by this obliquity in a man customarily so direct.
"It's about Lady Newland," he finally said. And the solemnity of his face rather frightened me.
"She's not dead?" I asked in a breath.
Peter shook his head from side to side.
"She's been rather badly hurt," he said, after several moments of silence. "Her plane was winged yesterday afternoon by a navy flier over San Diego Bay. She didn't fall, but it was a forced landing and her machine had taken fire before they could get her out of her seat."
"You mean she was burnt?" I cried, chilled by the horror of it.
And, inapposite as it seemed, my thoughts flashed back to that lithe and buoyant figure, and then to the picture of it charred and scorched and suffering.
"Only her face," was Peter's quiet and very deliberate reply.
"Only her face," I repeated, not quite understanding him.
"The men from the North Bay field had her out a minute or two after she landed. But practically the whole plane was afire. Her heavy flying coat and gauntlets saved her body and hands. But her face was unprotected. She--"
"Do you mean she'll be _disfigured_?" I asked, remembering the loveliness of that face with its red and wilful lips and its ever-changing tourmaline eyes.
"I'm afraid so," was Peter's answer. "But I've been wiring, and you'll be quite safe in telling your husband that she's in no actual danger.
The Marine Hospital officials have acknowledged that no flame was inhaled, that it's merely temporary shock, and, of course, the face-burn."
"But what can they do?" I asked, in little more than a whisper.
"They're trying the new ambersine treatment, and later on, I suppose, they can rely on skin-grafting and facial surgery," Peter explained to me.
"Is it that bad?" I asked, sitting down in one of the empty chairs, for the mere effort to vision any such disfigurement had brought a Channel-crossing and Calais-packet feeling to me.
"It's very sad," said Peter, more ill-at-ease than I'd ever seen him before, "But there's positively no danger, remember. It won't be so bad as your morning paper will try to make it out. They've sensationalized it, of course. That's why I wanted to be here first, and give you the facts. They are distressing enough, G.o.d knows, without those yellow reporters working them over for wire consumption."