Close Your Eyes: A Novel Part 29

She nodded emphatically. "Yes, I'm always right."

Olivia giggled. "Daddy would say that you shouldn't say things like that. People won't like you."

"For telling the truth?" She frowned. "Mama likes me, and I don't care about anyone else."

"My mama died in the accident. Daddy says she's in heaven, where there's lots of stars and golden gates."

"I guess that sounds okay," Kendra said doubtfully.

"It's wonderful, Daddy says so."

"I don't know anything about golden gates. Mama told me that the sun is supposed to be golden, too. I don't know about that either."

"You don't know much, do you?"

"I know things that you don't," Kendra said, stung. "You thought we were going to have to run back inside just because it got cloudy. So you're not so smart. Who cares about what the sun looks like anyway? I don't need to know stuff like that."

Olivia was silent, then took her hand. "I'll show you. Put your finger out and we'll draw the sun in the sand together. It's a circle..."

The sandy earth was warm under the pad of Kendra's forefinger.

Warmth in the darkness.

"That's the way it is, round and round and round, and so bright and warm. The rays make patterns..." Olivia said. "I sometimes lie in bed and remember how everything looked, so I'll never forget it. If I forgot, then I'd be like you, wouldn't I? I wouldn't like that. Can you see the sun now?"

Warmth and a faint lifting of the darkness. But she wasn't alone in the darkness, Kendra realized with surprise. Olivia's hand holding her own. Round and round. The rough sand and the sun surrounding them with light. Strange that she felt as if she at last knew what Mama had been trying to describe to her. Was she seeing it or just imagining what Olivia wanted her to see?

"I think ... I don't know. Maybe."

"Sure you do." Olivia's hand closed desperately around hers. "You've got to help me remember. I don't like this darkness. I want it to go away. It scares me."

"There's nothing to be scared of. That's silly."

"Aren't you scared of anything?"

"Not of anything on the outside." Only of being alone in the darkness. Only of making Mama sad. "And I don't have anything I have to remember."

"But you should know about stuff." Olivia dropped her hand and got to her knees. "That's okay. I'll make you see it. I'll tell you all about everything. Everything in the whole world."

Because by telling Kendra, she would not lose her own mind pictures and memories. How did she know that? Kendra wondered. Maybe it had something to do with that moment of shared darkness. "Mama tells me everything that I-"

"Oh, but I can do it better. You said that you could see it."

"I said..." What had she said? "Maybe."

"It will be fun." Olivia jumped to her feet, her voice vibrating with excitement. "We'll be best friends. We'll be together forever. You need me."

Kendra suddenly believed her. She did need this girl who had come into the darkness of her life and shown her the sun.

And Olivia needed Kendra.

And neither one of them would ever be alone again ...

"SHE'S STILL alive."

Kendra looked up as Lynch joined her at Olivia's bedside in the ICU. "So far." Don't be negative. "She's still in a coma. She's got a long way to go, but she's going to make it."

Lynch came forward. "Is that what the doctors said?"

"It doesn't matter what they said." Her glance s.h.i.+fted back to Olivia. "She looks like a mummy with all those bandages on. She'd laugh and make a joke if she could see herself."

"Would she?" He came closer and looked down at Olivia. "She sounds like a person I'd like to know. A sense of humor is a jewel beyond price. May I ask what the doctors found during surgery?"

"Bad stuff." She tried to keep her voice steady. "The worst is the kidney. They had to operate, and they're not sure-" She threw back her head. "But I'm sure. It will take time, but she'll be fine. I know it."

"Then I'm sure you're right." His voice was very gentle-for Lynch. "Where is your mother?"

"I sent her home. She had a cla.s.s to teach today, and there wasn't any sense in both of us being here. I told her I'd call her as soon as Olivia woke up."

If she woke up.

No, think positive. Those d.a.m.n doctors didn't know everything. They didn't know how strong Olivia could be, how determined. She changed the subject. "My mother's not sure she approves of you. She doesn't like anyone to try to manipulate her. And she hates it when they succeed."

"I just took her off guard. I wouldn't have had a chance if she hadn't been worried about both of you."

"If she decides that's true, then she may let you off the hook. If the decision goes against you, then you're toast."

"I suspected that would be the way of it." He smiled faintly. "She's a lot like you, isn't she?"

"Not one bit. Well, we're both stubborn. We both care about each other. That's about all the similarity." She met his gaze. "But I don't want her hurt. She may not realize what a powerhouse you are. If she goes after you, then you take it and smile."

"Whatever you say. I don't usually attack aging professors."

"Aging? My mother? You didn't take her measure at all, did you?"

"I wasn't paying much attention to her. I was worried about her daughter."

She was silent. "Thank you for bringing her here. It ... helped."

"I hoped it would. You looked vulnerable. It shook me a little. I've never seen you like that."

"When you're blind, you hide vulnerability at all costs. Just the handicap is vulnerable without any added show of weakness." She looked back down at Olivia. "But I never had to hide it from Olivia. She knew what I was feeling. We could sense each other's pain and joy." She took Olivia's hand. Was it colder, or was that Kendra's imagination? "I was blind from birth, but Olivia had six years of sight before she lost her vision in an accident. I was terribly confused as a child. I could use my other senses, but I didn't know ... I couldn't imagine. I had no frame of reference. But Olivia would tell me how it looked, she'd help me to build a picture in my mind through touch and hearing. Do you realize what a miracle that was? She gave me all that she had left, and we shared it." She added musingly, "And, do you know, that world we built in the darkness was pretty d.a.m.n wonderful. It was like reading a book where every description and character becomes your character, your world. I doesn't matter how the author sees it. Your imagination makes it belong to you to accept or change as you like. When we were little, we'd make it a fairy story. Later, it became less fun and more work. But that's how it is whether you have special problems or not, isn't it?"

"I think perhaps the two of you might have had it a little more difficult than the rest of us." He cleared his throat. "May I get you anything? A cup of coffee?"

She shook her head. "No, thank you. You can go now. There's nothing you can do. It's not as if Olivia and I aren't used to being alone together. Sometimes it felt as if there were no one else in the universe." She tried to steady her voice. "I just have to stay here and try to get through to her and tell her she can't let go. I think I can reach her. There have been a few moments today that I've thought she was aware of me. I just have to go deeper into the darkness. This time, she's the one alone in the dark, and I'm the one who has to make her see that she doesn't want to stay there."

"I'm feeling kind of ... helpless." He added with barely repressed violence, "I don't like it. I want to do something."

She looked numbly at him. Strange, he was upset. Lynch was so tough and calloused that it was odd to see him so frustrated. She would like to help him, but it was hard to think about anything but Olivia. "The video cameras at the condo..."

"They caught an image but it was badly distorted," he said curtly. "I gave it to Griffin to process and try to give us something to work with. They extracted skin from under Olivia's fingernails when she got to the hospital. They're checking it for DNA."

"That's good." She wished he would just go away. She wanted to concentrate on trying to pierce the wall that was keeping Olivia in that deep coma. She couldn't do it if she had to think about him. She had to concentrate and go back to that time when she and Olivia were one in their darkness. "Lesley Dunn. Why don't you go check on Lesley Dunn?"

"In other words, stop bothering you." He nodded curtly and headed for the door. "Why not? It's clear I'm not able to do anything here. Call me if you need me. I'll stop in later." His lips twisted. "Whether you want me or not."

She didn't answer, and, the next moment, the door closed behind him. She was barely aware that he was no longer there. Oh G.o.d, Olivia's hand was losing what little warmth it still possessed. Her hand tightened on Olivia's. "No, you don't," she said fiercely. "Neither one of us ever did things the easy way. You're not going to do it now. I won't let you. You come back to me."

No movement.

Her breathing was shallow.

Would it stop entirely?

"No, you can't do it. You come back."

She closed her eyes and let the darkness flow over her.

HE WANTED TO SMASH something, anything.

Lynch strode down the corridor, not looking to the right or left.

Not exactly the right mood or philosophy to experience in a hospital.

And completely at odds with his usual cynical coolness. How long had it been since he had felt the urge to tilt at windmills and find a holy grail?

Not that a holy grail would help Olivia. She was dying, and it was stupid even to hope. She would die and Kendra would lose her best friend and her heart would break. Death and the pain it brought were facts of life. It happened all the time. Kendra would survive it just like everyone else. No big deal.

Except this time it was a big deal to Lynch.

"I was looking for you, Lynch." Griffin had gotten off the elevator and was walking toward him down the corridor. "And for Kendra Michaels. She's at ICU?"

"Leave her alone." Lynch didn't bother to try to keep the savage anger from his tone. He stepped in front of Griffin, and his lips were tight, his eyes glittering. "No questions. You can get a statement from her later. You bother her now, and I'll break your neck."

For an instant, Griffin was intimidated. He took an involuntary step back before he caught himself. "The h.e.l.l you will," he said. "I've had enough from you, Lynch. Are you crazy? I've always thought that you were a little unstable. Sometimes it works for the Bureau that you can be just as violent as the sc.u.m you're stalking. But you don't turn that c.r.a.p on me. If I wanted to question Kendra Michaels, I'd do it. Now get out of my way."

"No way. She's upset, and there's no reason for you to make it any worse."

Griffin's eyes widened. "s.h.i.+t, I believe I see a hint of softening in that croc hide of yours. Amazing." He tried to brush him aside. "But it doesn't mean I won't-" His gaze narrowed on Lynch's expression. "Back off, Lynch. I can see you want to hurt someone, but it's not going to be me." He hesitated, then sighed resignedly. "This bulls.h.i.+t isn't worth risking my neck when I have three kids to raise. I wasn't going to question her."

"Then why the h.e.l.l are you here?"

"Lesley Dunn. I got a call two hours ago. She's dead."

Lynch stiffened with shock. "How?"

"Cardiac arrest. I just came from Scripps Hospital. She seemed to be rallying this afternoon, but she coded, and they couldn't save her." He paused. "It could be a result of the previous attack, but we're checking the IV and the meds."

"She had a guard."

"Who would not have known if the meds were tampered with or not. You know bribes can be far more subtle and effective than a direct a.s.sault." He shrugged. "Or maybe she couldn't fight any longer and just succ.u.mbed. It happens."

It happens. That's what Lynch had been telling himself about Olivia. Just accept it. Life could be dirty and unfair, and you just had to turn away and go on. "Find out," he said harshly. "This one isn't just going to 'happen.' We're going to know everything there is to know."

"Too bad Kendra isn't available," Griffin said speculatively. "She might be able to examine Dunn's room and tell us-"

"Don't even think about it." He punched the b.u.t.ton for the elevator. "And don't tell Kendra about Lesley Dunn. Not a syllable. I won't have her any more upset than she is right now. She was hoping Lesley Dunn would make it. I'll go over to Scripps and see what I can find out."

"Do that." He smiled maliciously. "Though you're not nearly as good as Kendra."

"At last you admit she's unique? My, how the mighty have fallen."

"I always knew she was good. She just makes me uncomfortable." He added, "And I was never sure if she wasn't still in touch with Stedler. If he's dirty, she could be, too."

"You're nuts," Lynch said flatly. "She doesn't know where Stedler is, and she's not dirty. So find another excuse for feeling inferior when she shows you up." The doors opened, and he got on the elevator. "Or get used to it, get used to her, dammit. So she has a few p.r.i.c.kles. You don't have any idea what made her the way she is."

Griffin's brows rose. "And do you, Lynch?"

This time, she's the one alone in the dark.

A little girl alone in an eternal darkness and forced to fight the panic and the bewilderment.

He punched the b.u.t.ton for the lobby. "Yeah, maybe. I'll call you if I find out anything at Scripps."

CHAPTER.

12.

"YOU'LL HAVE TO LEAVE THE room now," the brunette ICU nurse said gently to Kendra. "Dr. Rawlins needs to examine her. You may be able to come back later."

"No." Kendra's hand tightened desperately on Olivia's. "I can't go. Not for a minute." She hurriedly glanced at the nurse's name tag: N. BRANDOW. "Tell him that she'll die if I leave her, Nurse Brandow."