House Of Ivy And Sorrow Part 20

"We can't lose her!" She yells far too loudly for a hospital.

"I know! But I'm not all-powerful. I don't even know what spell this is-I knew with you. I've done everything I can."

"Do more!"

I don't answer, because she's crying and too frantic to reason with. My tear ducts must be tapped out because my heart aches, but nothing will come.

Gwen is so lifeless and dark that I can't help but realize how much she usually moves. All the time I've known her, she was the one bouncing her knees or skipping when everyone else walked. She used to dance, back when old Mrs. Collins taught a jazz cla.s.s for the girls in town. Gwen was amazing at it, and you couldn't stop her from practicing wherever there was enough s.p.a.ce. What I'd give to see Gwen move a finger, let alone bounce around my room again like a b.u.t.terfly.

The door clicks, signaling the end of our time with Gwen. I don't move. It can't end this way. I can't leave her to die. "Just one more minute, please; I beg you."

Someone lets out a low whistle. "That is one nasty death call."

I bristle at the voice and turn to see my worst nightmare. Levi actually has the gall to be smiling. He shuts the door, and I wish I hadn't used half my magic on that futile antidote. "You would know, since you're the one who put it on her."

"I would never," he says. "Death calls are way below the belt."

I'm not sure I believe him. "How did you find us?"

Levi sits on Gwen's bed, way too close to me. "When she lived through the fire, I figured you'd show up at some point."

"You've been waiting for me?"

He shrugs. "Basically."

"If you're on my side, you could have at least made yourself useful and fixed her."

"Dear Josephine, you know magic doesn't work that way." His smile is so smug I want to strangle him right there. "We Shadows may not follow all the rules, but payment is something no one can avoid."

"Shadows?" Kat says.

He rolls his eyes. "That's what we call ourselves. It's obvious, but fitting."

I shove him. "Do not disrespect her. I'm ready to kill you as it is."

His eyebrows raise at my touch. "You keep saying that, and I'm still not dead."

"Quit it, okay?" I restrain myself from stomping my foot. "My grandmother is dying and my friends are at risk and after they're gone, I'm next. So do what you came here to do and stop pretending like you're all mysterious and cool."

Levi frowns. "You're no fun."

"I used to be, until you ruined my life."

"My kind may be at fault, but not me personally. Stop blaming me for the actions of someone I don't particularly like either." He fiddles with a stray thread on his s.h.i.+rt. "Your life isn't the only one he's ruined, you know."

"He?" I ask, hoping he'll just tell me already.

"Yes, he." Levi bites his lip, seeming to hesitate. "My . . . superior, you could say. If you want to blame someone, that's the guy to blame. I'm just trying to do what I can for you without getting caught. My life might suck, but it's better than being a dead traitor."

I'm not sure what to say. Maybe I feel a little sorry for him, but I'm not about to let him know.

"So . . ." Kat breaks the silence. "Can you two set aside the hate for a second? If Levi can help, I don't care what he is or what he did."

Levi and I glare at each other, but she's right. "Fine."

Kat stands between us like the mediator in a peace negotiation. "Okay, so Levi wants to fix Gwen, right?"

"Right," he says. "She's been called to death-summoned by a Shadow to the darkness that awaits us all. No witch can remove it. It's a Shadow thing."

Kat shudders. "And what do you need to stop it? You need something from us, right?"

"Yes, and you won't like it."

I fold my arms. "Try me."

"You have to kiss me."

My eyes go wide. "No freaking way. Kat can take that hit. Sorry, Kat."

"Fine," she says.

Levi shakes his head. "No, it has to be you. I need your magic to save her, and I can get some through a kiss so I don't have to Curse you. Unless you'd prefer the Curse-that would make everything easier."

I glare at him, the choice already made. If I have any chance to save Gwen, I have to take it. So I square my shoulders, determined to look stronger than I feel. "I guess one kiss is better than being Cursed. Barely."

"You have to give it. I don't take." At least he has the decency to look slightly uncomfortable.

I force myself forward, though I'm terrified of what this will feel like. Levi's eyes are dark, full of antic.i.p.ation as I come close. Desire oozes out of him. I'm not sure if it's me or my magic he craves, but I don't like either option. Tipping my chin up, I close the distance and pray this won't hurt too much.

Levi's lips press against mine, soft and yet urgent. I want to stop-despite the fact that he is, undoubtedly, a very good kisser-but he puts his hand on my face, as if to say, "Not yet." I close my eyes, trying not to get lost in this . . . this chemistry.

Then it happens, and my eyes go wide in terror. My magic drains from my body so quickly I have to grab his arm to stay standing. He holds me up, though all I want to do is push him away. He's taking a part of me, and I hate that I let him.

When he's taken almost all of it, he guides me to the one chair in Gwen's tiny room. I can barely move, and tears drip down my cheeks. He wipes one away, the shame in his eyes crystal clear. "I'm so sorry, Josephine."

"Just save her," I whisper.

He goes to Gwen and puts his hand on her chest. The shadows around him flare, fueled by my magic. He winces as the spell fights him, but it retreats quicker than I expected. I don't want to admit that my magic seems stronger under his command, but I can't deny what I feel. There's no way I could have done that, even if I were full to the brim. Within seconds, Gwen is back to her normal, non-shadowy self. When her eyes flutter open, I can't regret what I did.

Gwen takes in the room and her visitors. "Jo? I saw you trying to stop t-the . . . I wasn't just sick or hurt, was I? There was s-something . . ."

I force the lump in my throat down. "Yeah, but don't say anything, okay? I promise I'll explain later. You were in a coma-that's what everyone thinks."

She nods, but her lips quiver. "The shadows . . . they were everywhere, pulling me down into a black pit. I thought it was over." She looks up and Levi. "Then this guy pulled me out. Who are you?"

"Uh . . ." Levi shoves his hands in his pockets. "No one."

The door clicks open, and I want to die when Winn walks in.

THIRTY-THREE.

"What the h.e.l.l is he doing here?" Winn growls, glaring at Levi like he'd start a fight if we weren't at a hospital.

This would be one of those times where it'd be really convenient if I could tell Winn the truth. But I can't even get my mouth to move, since I'm so low on magic and terrified of what Levi did to me. That kiss was how the Curse must feel, except it's permanent. This is how my mother died, how Nana is suffering, but a thousand times worse.

But what Levi did with my power-he magnified it somehow. What could he do with even more of my magic? I hate that a little part of me is tempted to give it to him, to let him fix all my problems. But the price . . . it's too steep. I can't forget that.

Levi rubs his neck, apparently useless now. He does looks drained, though, having used up what I gave him to fix Gwen.

"Um." Kat glances at me, as if I have the answer. Too bad there is not a single logical explanation for Levi being here.

Winn shakes his head, opens his mouth to say something, but then his eyes go to the bed. "Gwen! You're awake!"

She gives him a half smile. "Looks like Kat and Jo saved me."

Levi sighs, and I feel kind of bad that he can't take credit for saving Gwen's life. No matter what else comes, I'll always be grateful he did that.

Winn seems to calm at her words and comes over to me. "You look awful." Taking my hand, he glares at Levi. And I swear it seems like he understands what really happened. "Did he do something to you?"

I close my eyes, tears welling up at another shred of proof that Winn might be lying to me, too. If he was totally normal, wouldn't he have a.s.sumed I'm like this because I'm worried about Gwen? Yet he immediately blames Levi.

Levi's eyes meet mine, sad and penitent. "Yeah, my fault. Sometimes I don't realize when I'm going too far. Gwen, I'm glad you're awake. Hope you have a quick recovery."

"Tha-" Gwen starts.

And he's gone, leaving me with a million questions about the Shadows. Not to mention one seriously angry boyfriend.

The nurse comes in immediately after him, and her eyes pop when she sees Gwen awake. She shoos us out of the room, calling for a doctor frantically. Winn helps me to a quiet spot in the waiting room, while the Lees hug and cry over Gwen's miraculous recovery.

"Jo, I need you to be honest with me." He rubs my hand with his thumb. He's clearly upset, and I know he's not stupid. "Why does he keep showing up?"

I hate this. I don't want to lie to him-I want to share everything with him. And I can't. When Nana said this would be hard, I didn't realize how much she meant it. How can I really be with him if I can't tell him everything about me? But at the same time, it'd be wrong. He's already in so much danger, and there's still a chance he's normal. I must protect him from this horrible world I live in until I know for sure he's part of it.

"Levi is . . ." I pinch the bridge of my nose, not wanting to think of him right now. "My mom had a very close friend in college. Her name was Stacia, and Levi is her son. She died when he was a kid, like my mom did. It's this weird connection-we share the same grief-but I swear you don't have to worry."

Winn purses his lips, searching my eyes. "Why didn't you tell me that?"

"I don't know." Here come the tears again. "I didn't want you to think he was . . . he's important, but not like you're important. You're the only guy I want."

The truth of it hits hard, the guilt fresh and raw all over again.

He offers a small smile. "I'm not gonna lie-that's good to hear."

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you."

He brushes my hair from my face. "You know you can tell me anything, right? I don't want you to be afraid of how I'll react. You don't have to keep me happy-you just have to be you."

That's when I start blubbering like a fool. He holds me, and all I want to do is tell him everything. After several minutes of crying, I finally compose myself. Slightly. Winn has me cradled in his lap, and I run my finger back and forth over his p.r.i.c.kly cheek.

"I must look pathetic," I say softly.

"Hey." He touches his forehead to mine. "You've been through so much lately. I'd be freaking out if Billy or Adam were in that room."

"And crying?"

"Well, maybe not in public."

I pinch his cheek, and he laughs. Then the sound is gone, and I know he's going to kiss me. I don't deserve it, but I want it.

His lips brush against mine, and my whole body remembers how perfect Winn's kisses are. I pull him closer, kiss him deeper than I have before. The little magic I have left tingles at my lips, but it's not going anywhere. This isn't giving and taking; this is sharing-sharing something better than anything Levi could offer. Winn moves to my neck, and goose b.u.mps cover my skin.

It takes a second for me to get my head on straight, to realize we are full-on making out in a hospital waiting room. It feels so good, like I can finally breathe again after days of only getting by. Against every instinct, I push him back. "You won't cry in public, but you'll do that?"

He grins. "Right, public. I forgot."

I laugh. "Me too."

"You hungry? I bought enough for us. Figured we might be here awhile." He rubs my legs, which are in his lap, and for the tiniest moment all is right with the world.

"Starving."

I watch him go, feeling far too content considering the circ.u.mstances. Mom's pendant is warm against my skin, and I put my hand to it. I may have missed my chance to find clues in those lavender memories, but Gwen is alive and that is what matters right now.

THIRTY-FOUR.

My jaw actually drops at the sight of Gwen's house, which is barely more than a pile of ash on a cement foundation. I'm sure no one else can see the tendrils of smoke still clinging to the few upright beams. They are too black, too marred by magic. My guilt swells up anew. If only I had been paying attention instead of wallowing in my own grief.

Kat puts a gentle hand on my shoulder. "Let's get to work."

I nod, unable to speak with my tongue caught between misery and fury. Revenge is all I can think about, and for the millionth time since yesterday my mind goes racing back to Levi and his power. I shake the thoughts away. There has to be a way I can stop this Shadow on my own. Too bad I don't know what that is. I spent all night trying to make Mom's pendant work again, but nothing happened.

Kat hands me a pair of gloves, and we join in the cleaning efforts. All of Willow's End has shown up to help Gwen's family. As we toss charred wood into a giant trash bin, trucks arrive with new lumber and building supplies. Gwen's dad seems to be overwhelmed with grat.i.tude as he hugs Mr. Svaboda, the local contractor.