The Ruby Riot Series: Box Set Part 80

"He was going to f.u.c.king rape you!"

"He wasn't."

"Don't be stupid! He's already ripped your clothes."

Fleur touches her torn s.h.i.+rt, blinking as if unaware, and then looks back to Shaun. "I have to tell somebody," she says hoa.r.s.ely. "He's unconscious, Will! What if he dies?"

The words stop time; and in that moment, the enormity of what I've done descends. I look at the blood on my knuckles, back to his face. "He won't," I say to myself. "He'll be okay."

I slip against the edge of the desk to the floor as Fleur leaves the room. Shaun remains motionless and I'm paralysed as I slump against the leg of the desk.

Then the world blurs around me as people come in and out of the room, shouting for ambulances, attending the still unconscious Shaun. Somebody drags me to my feet, pulls me downstairs to the faculty office where I sit and stare at my shoes. The world swirls around me, as if I'm on the edge of a dream. Not a dream. A nightmare I've created and thrown myself into.

When the police arrive and I'm arrested, all I do is ask if Fleur is okay. I haven't seen her since she left the room. As I'm escorted away, I catch sight of Fleur standing with her arms around herself, next to a policewoman. I catch her eye briefly and Fleur holds my look with hard eyes before she turns her head.

I don't see her again.

39.

WILL.

The rest of that day is a blur.

The following week isn't much clearer. I'm surrounded by a dark cloud of self-disgust and fear for the future. One copper gleefully told me I'd end up inside for what I did, spouting s.h.i.+t about how famous people think they can get away with breaking the law, and I won't.

Jem, in his capacity as my manager, loses his s.h.i.+t with me, and then throws me to the lawyers. I listen but I'm numb, have no idea how I ended up in this mess. I've fought with Nate before, swung a few punches in the past, but never violence at a level lawyers are fighting to reduce from GBH to ABH.

Shaun's hospitalised with a broken nose and jaw, and concussion for good measure. I'm in deep, deep s.h.i.+t. Media glee joins the horror from my friends and family, and I'm trapped. Sick. Terrified I will end up inside. If I do, how long for? Is this the end of my career? Jax threatens to recruit a new ba.s.sist, shouting the b.l.o.o.d.y house down until Tegan dragged him away to calm down.

Nate is the only one supporting me. He's shocked, but told me he'll always stand beside me, whatever I do. Nate threatens to quit the band if they kick me out, and I beg him not to. I can't take Ruby Riot down with me.

Fleur's in the middle of all this; not only the situation, but witness to my defence. I'm claiming self-defence, protecting her from a.s.sault counts. She refuses to talk to me but agrees to speak to my lawyers; she'll need to testify. I'm confused how she was in the situation with Shaun and why. Eventually there's an explanation from her housemate, and I'm numbed further.

The plagiarism accusation was true. Fleur wasn't with Shaun; how could I have believed she was? Why didn't Fleur tell me? Ask for my support and help? I'd want to smack Shaun around, but would've respected the fact she doesn't want my interference. If she'd asked, I would've supported her in any way she wanted. Fleur would never have chosen to do something so stupid.

Based on Fleur's allegations and the physical evidence of his a.s.sault on her, Shaun's suspended, and he won't return to the university once he leaves hospital. Fleur's disciplinary hearing is on hold while the whole, f.u.c.ked-up mess is investigated.

I was pushed out when Fleur needed me.

Now I've screwed up, and she doesn't want me.

Even worse, I'm back at Mum and Dad's, disconnected from everybody but my family, as I lie low until my first court appearance.

FLEUR.

As soon as I'm able, I leave London. The world fell apart when the plagiarism claim hit, but that's nothing compared to the twisted world I'm pulled into.

'Jealous star a.s.saults girlfriend's lover' caused whispers and ridicule.

Then the truth came out.

'Will Campbell's girlfriend s.e.xually a.s.saulted man hospitalised'.

The whispers grew louder. Was I raped? Cheating and caught in the act? Did I lie to save face and am responsible for Shaun's injuries? I'd been seen with Shaun on numerous occasions.

The s.l.u.t responsible for Will's downfall, the happy go lucky joker of the band screwed over by a girl. Ruby Riot's future threatened.

This picture painted of me isn't his fault, but it hurts, and I'm exposed to an ugly side of life I never expected.

Will interrupted whatever Shaun intended to do. I'll never know if Shaun's a.s.sault was an attempt to frighten me, or if he would've raped me. My stomach turns over when I think about his hands on my skin, the smell of whisky on his breath as he tried to put his mouth on me. Why would Shaun threaten his own career the way he has? The man is sick and left bruises on my body and my mind.

To top everything, not only do I need to report Shaun's a.s.sault, but I'm also called as a witness to Will's trial.

Will. As he beat Shaun, I was dazed by Shaun's attack, but the viciousness of Will's a.s.sault on Shaun frightened me. I've only ever seen violence on screen and that's always been more than I could cope with watching.

I'm scared of Will. I replay the times he became antsy about the smallest things: people jostling me in queues, the time he thought Ethan had upset me again, the incident at the club. I never realised lack of control simmered beneath the laidback guy.

The warning bell sounds. What would Will do, if I ever upset him?

40.

FLEUR.

Will has an initial court date a couple of weeks later, and I attend. The retreating rumours fly again and the media swoops, snapping pictures of the pair of us individually entering court.

We haven't spoken apart from a couple of texts, deciding not being seen together is the best move considering the press attention. I'm also unsure how I'll feel when I see him again. Will's pale face brightened when he saw me, but in the hurry to reach court we didn't have time to talk As Will stepped away, I called after him and asked to meet afterwards.

Following the hearing, we find a quiet corner; I don't want to be seen in public with Will. Not yet. His lawyer, a young, pretty woman loiters uncertainly until Will asks her to give us five minutes.

I tuck a strand of hair behind my ear and properly meet his eyes for the first time today. His brow knits at my scrutiny and the silence grows.

"You look different." I indicate his smart, dark grey suit. Will looks out of place and awkward, not the confident guy I remember.

"Yeah. Respectable, apparently." His mouth tips at the corner. "You dressed up too. You look like a librarian."

I shake away his weird comment. "What do your lawyers think will happen?"

"Dunno. Good lawyers, first offence could be a fine, or suspended if they can get the charge reduced. Unless they decide to make an example of me. Guess I'll find out in a few months."

"That long?"

"Yeah, this is just a hearing to find out whether this is gonna be pushed up to Crown Court. Lucky me."

Will's making light of the situation; but we can't escape the seriousness. His future is threatened; everything Will lives for could be s.n.a.t.c.hed away, thanks partially to me.

"I'm sure your lawyers are good. You'll be okay."

"I hope so."

"You can still work? The band I mean."

"We're going to the States after Christmas. Better make the most, if I get a criminal conviction, they might not let me into the country again."

"Surely Jem has a few convictions? They let him in."

Will laughs. "Never thought of that."

I'm on pause. Next semester I'll move on. I can't face returning to UCL and have applied for a place at York. The interview with the history department there, explaining my decision to switch universities, should be interesting.

Shaun's name isn't mentioned; but he's with us, the invisible third party who dragged Will and me into this mess. "They arrested Shaun for s.e.xual a.s.sault too," I say in a soft voice.

"I know. That helps, thank you."

"No problem."

Will reaches out and touches my cheek; and when I flinch, he draws his hand away. "Yeah, it is big. A hard thing for you to do."

"The whole situation was my fault."

Will's eyes darken and his jaw pulls tight, a reminder of the man I saw that afternoon. "No. Never. Don't even think that for a second."

"No, not that he did that to me, but I put myself in the situation. Thought I could win against him."

Will rests against the wall. "Why didn't you tell me about the plagiarism charge? Or what he was doing?"

"You were busy and I didn't want to ha.s.sle you."

"Fleur, I had all the time in the world for you. Have. Still. I would've done anything to help."

"Like what you did? Solve the problem with your fists?"

He huffs. "I don't know. Whatever you wanted, I'd have done."

The man in front of me is my Will; the guy who treated me with more love and respect than the men I thought would. But the violent part of him scares me.

What if Will's protectiveness turns into an attempt to control me? Or if he turns on me one day. The thoughts niggled over the last couple of weeks. Anger was never an emotion Will showed unless it was a response to the mistreatment of those he loved, but he needs to control this or land himself in prison. What if it's too late already?

The desire to reconnect is too strong. I wrap my arms around Will's neck and bury my face into his s.h.i.+rt. My Will, whose scent pulls me back to the first time he held me, helping me home drunk. Immediately, Will's strong arms tighten around my waist and he pushes his face into my hair.

"I missed you so bad," he whispers. "Can we meet up later?"

I grip him tighter, fighting with my decision. My heart belongs to Will, but I'm confused. My life has turned upside down, and I'm facing uncertainty, dealing with the aftermath of a violent crime. Some nights I have flashbacks when I lie in bed, not only of Shaun's hands on me, but the savagery from my gentle guy.

"I don't know."

This is unfair of me; I can't make Will believe we're okay. I step back. Will catches my hand and laces his fingers through mine. "Because of what Shaun did to you?"

"Because of everything. I'm scared of you. I need time to get over what's happened to me, too. I can't stop thinking about everything." I rub my head. "I'm so confused, Will."

The expression on Will's face follows me home that night. The hurt in his eyes, the genuine shock. He slumps against the wall in defeat.

"You never need to be scared of me. I will look after you, not hurt you." He sighs. "Part of my trial preparation is to talk about why I did... this, controlling my anger. I don't really know why though. I'm not an angry person. I just can't stand seeing people hurt."

"So you hurt others instead?"

"I've learnt my lesson. This s.h.i.+t has screwed my life up whether I go to jail or not. People look at me differently." He strokes the back of my hand with his thumb. "If you can't love the man who did this, I understand; but he's not who I really am."

"Maybe we can meet up again when things have calmed down?" I suggest. "When's the trial?"

"March." He touches my cheek and I flinch. "I can't wait that long to see you again, Fleur."

"I'm staying at my parents until after Christmas, and I don't think it's a good idea to visit me there."

"I'm going to the States first week in January."

Already our lives prevent us solving our situation.

"Maybe we can get together once you're back?"

"This is so wrong," says Will and grips my hand. "I'm sorry I f.u.c.ked things up."

I squeeze his fingers in return. "No, this situation isn't all you; this was a perfect storm we were dragged into."

"Yeah. S'pose."

"I'm sorry, Will. I need time to work through some of this on my own before I can think about us. And you need to focus on yourself."

He nods, but his eyes don't agree. "Will you stay for coffee or lunch or something now?"

"I don't think so. The press... I can't cope. Sorry." The idea of pursuit surges panic and nausea through me. "When are you back from the States?"