Boys: their Work and Influence Part 1

Boys.

by Anonymous.

INTRODUCTION

The following papers were written at the request of one who had read the somewhat similar papers addressed to girls. The object aimed at in both books has been to try and help Boys and Girls of the so-called working cla.s.ses to recognize their duties to G.o.d and their neighbour, and to use on the side of right the powers and opportunities which G.o.d has given them.

It seems to the author that advice given to the so-called lower orders, often partakes too much of patronage, and too little of the brotherhood, that should be a sign of Christians. "Do as you are told and be thankful," is too much the tone of the advice, instead of explaining duties, pointing out opportunities, and recognizing them as fellow-labourers in the great work.

In G.o.d's household everyone has his place a.s.signed to him by the master, some to govern, and some to serve, but still all are fellow-servants of that one Master, and brethren in Christ.

BOYS.

What a curious fellow a boy is. I wonder if boys ever think about themselves. A young monkey is full of mischief, a young puppy is full of play, a young kitten is always ready for fun, but a boy seems to combine the qualities of all three, and to have a stock of his own to jumble up with them. A boy has so many sides, not only an outside and an inside; he is a many sided being. See him at one time and you would hardly suppose him to be the same creature that you had seen a little while before. Now he is a bright nice spoken lad, in a few moments he is a bullying tyrant, now he is courteously answering those who speak to him, now words come from his lips that shock the hearer. Now he would scorn to have his word doubted by a comrade, now he does not hesitate to lie to escape punishment. Now fearless, now a coward, now full of spirits, now in the depths of woe--suns.h.i.+ne or joy, wind and calm, silence and tumult, all seem to have their place, and to make up that incomprehensible and yet delightful animal a boy.

Now boys, I want you to think of yourselves--not to think how good or how bad you are--what fine fellows you are, and what important persons, but what you are capable of becoming. You will not remain boys always--you are now, in the midst of all your oddities, forming your character, and shaping your future course, drawing out of the midst of all your contradictions the character that will make you honest G.o.d-fearing men, like in your degree to the perfect pattern of manhood which G.o.d has set before us in Christ--or you are letting yourselves be moulded into the selfish sensual being, which too often degrades the name of man.

Thinking, I know, is not much in your line at present, but you will perhaps spare me a few minutes, and give me a little of your attention while I try to point out to you the way in which you may, if you will, turn your powers to account, and avoid the dangers which have been the s.h.i.+pwreck of many a lad's bright prospects.

HOME AND SCHOOL

I shall take it for granted that you care for your parents and home, or at any rate that you would like to have a comfortable home. Well, then, make it so yourself. You can do a great deal towards it. Honour and obedience is your first duty towards your parents. There is nothing manly in disobedience. Honour and obey, readily and cheerfully. Not simply obedient to father because he might thrash you; and disobedient to mother because she cannot compel you. No, the truest honour in a boy is when mother can thoroughly trust him--trust him to obey her because she is mother.

Brothers and sisters are often a trouble. "How those children do nag?"

"Never can leave those boys together." "He's sure to teaze her if I leave them alone." Don't be a bully either to your brothers or sisters.

Don't be selfish and claim all you can for yourself. Share and share alike should be the rule, and gentleness towards the girls and little ones.

School will help to take the nonsense out of you; you cannot have it all your own way there. Boys will be boys, is a very common expression, and it would be very funny indeed if boys did not turn out to be boys, but that is no reason that boys should be rude or cruel, and in fact "little cubs." Quarrels there will be sometimes--very often for no real reason, sometimes for a good cause. If you have one fight it out then and there, and bear no malice afterwards. I would rather see a fair fight and have done with it, than keeping up a nasty quarrel, and trying to spite one another in little mean ways. There is too often a want of real honour amongst boys. Telling tales of one another seems to be the fas.h.i.+on, and the favourite way of paying off old scores. There are of course times when a boy must speak out against wrong, even at the risk of being counted a sneak, but, as a rule, boys who delight in telling tales, and who have not the sense of honour to stick by one another are a very poor lot.

Do your school work thoroughly. Idleness is not only wrong but foolish.

There is a time for work and a time for play. Learn as much as you can and learn thoroughly if you want to be of any use in after life. A boy's religion is not a thing that shows very much on the surface, or that he is very likely to talk much about, but it must be in him if he is any worth.

Boys and girls alike should learn from their mother to say their prayers night and morning, and when they become too old, or mother too busy for them to say them at her knee, they should never omit to say them by themselves. I heard the other day of a rough labouring man, who on his death bed sent for the priest of his parish. He said he had never been inside a Church since he had been a man. He had done his work honestly, and lived steadily, but had altogether got out of the way of going to Church. There was one thing, however, that he had always done. Long years ago, as a lad, he had promised his mother never to get up in the morning or go to bed at night without saying his prayers. This promise he had kept faithfully. Night and morning that rough strong man had knelt and said the same prayers which he had first learnt at his mother's knees. Those prayers had been heard and had brought their blessing to him. Church going on Sunday is as important as daily prayers. A Sunday morning should never be allowed to pa.s.s without seeing you at Church. Lie a bed on Sunday morning is the devil's version of the fourth commandment.

There is plenty of time on Sunday for Church as well as for walks and talks. Sunday is not to be a miserable day, or all Church and prayers, but G.o.d first and then ourselves. Sunday school you will most likely be sent to as long as you go to day school, and you will be wise not to give it up as soon as you are what you would call your own master.

Both home and school ought to have their pleasures as well as their work.

Do your work thoroughly, and do your pleasures thoroughly also. Share your pleasures with the others, and with father and mother. You can give much pleasure to father and mother, as well as to yourselves, if you try.

Love G.o.d and love your home--be obedient, truthful, and plucky--standing up for the right, and not ashamed to refuse to join in the wrong; and your home and school days will train you well for your work in life.

GOING TO WORK

What are you going to be? is a question that has to be settled very early in life--earlier amongst the so-called working cla.s.ses than any other. It must be settled at about thirteen years old. Fortunately for you it is not whether you shall do anything for your living or not, but in what way you shall earn your living. Some people seem to look upon work as if it were a degrading thing, and only to be used until they can afford to live without it. Life is not worth calling life that is not downright honest work, and a man is hardly a man at all who is not a working man--working either with his hands or his brain, or both.

In determining what your calling in life shall be you must consider two things, 1st. Whether the calling you wish to follow is an honest and lawful one. 2nd. Whether you are fitted for it.

If you can say yes to both these questions, then, provided your parents approve, follow out your natural inclination. A lad is far more likely to succeed in life if his heart is in his work, than if he has to work against the grain. On the other hand, you will never deserve success if you go against your parents' wishes. If they see reasons against the particular calling you wish for, (and perhaps are really fitted for), your duty is to follow their wishes, and bide your time. If your inclinations really point to that to which G.o.d calls you, He will show you the right way to it in His time, and your obedience to your parents will not have been wasted time.

There are certain occupations which are not honourable, but by which men gain a living, which are not to be considered for a moment, as _e.g._, gambling and betting. There are certain for which you would not be fitted by education or ability. Whatever calling you choose seek G.o.d and His righteousness first, _i.e._, choose that which will make you fit for the next world as well as that which will make you comfortable here.

Honest work thoroughly done here will be no bad pa.s.sport for another world. When you have once chosen your calling stick to it, carry it out thoroughly, and with a determination to get on. Never be in a hurry to change, and never do so without a good reason. Never rest satisfied that you have done enough, or think that you cannot do better. It is told of a celebrated sculptor, that he said, "I shall fail in my next effort, for I am satisfied with this."

Aim high and do your best. Every shop-boy may not become a Lord Mayor, but every one who aims at getting to the top of the tree, and goes steadily at it, will find himself at last a good way from the ground.

Now supposing you have made your choice and started in work you will find a great difference between this and school life. You will mix with elder people and a different set; you will have more freedom, and possibly a little more money.

Don't think you are a man all at once, because you are nothing of the sort, and nothing makes a lad look more ridiculous than to see him trying to be a man before his time. You know the story of the toad and the ox.

You have much to learn yet. Stick to cla.s.ses and learn all that you can.

Sunday cla.s.ses as well as night cla.s.ses. There is nothing manly in giving up religious duties; quite the contrary, it is cowardly. Do your work honestly and thoroughly, even though it be the custom to do otherwise. Boys are pretty sure to have some hobby of their own, and a very good thing too. A boy is all the better for a hobby, even if he takes it up and drops it again. It is a good thing for a lad to have some private interest of his own. If therefore your hobby is not anything harmful follow it out with a will.

RELIGION.

I had some doubts about the heading of this chapter: Religion ought not to be a separate thing from daily life, and, therefore, all remarks on the subject ought to come under one or other of the chapters which treat of the different duties of life. There are, however, certain definite religious duties which may perhaps be spoken of more clearly in a separate chapter. I would ask you always to bear in mind that no religious duties are of much value that are not a regular part of our daily life, and that there is no line to be drawn between natural and religious duties. "Whether, therefore, ye eat or drink, or whatsoever ye do, do all to the Glory of G.o.d."

_Prayer_, private and public. What I have said in a former paper holds good now. No boy can safely neglect his morning and evening prayers and his public wors.h.i.+p on Sundays. Prayer should include daily self-examination: no one can get on in the world unless he looks after his own affairs, and reckons from time to time how he stands. So with our daily life--we should try it day by day, and see if we are keeping straight. Each night we should look back over the day, see what has been wrong, what imperfect--seek pardon for the wrong, and determine, by G.o.d's help, to amend it.

_Public Wors.h.i.+p_ once a Sunday, _i.e._ in the morning, is the duty of every Christian: whether we go oftener is a matter of choice, but less we cannot do without failing in our duty. Attendance at the full morning service, _i.e._ the celebration of the Holy Communion, is the prayer-book rule, whether we observe it or not.

_Regular Communion_ is absolutely necessary. How frequently it is advisable to come must depend upon circ.u.mstances, but speaking generally I should say, in the words of one whose opinion carries great weight, that "monthly Communions are the very fewest which anyone seeking to serve G.o.d devoutly can make."

I have taken it for granted that you have been confirmed, which will probably have taken place about the time of leaving school. Confirmation ought to make a marked change in your life. Firstly, because you are more directly responsible for yourself, and, secondly, because it brings you into closer relation, for a time at least, with your clergyman.

Before your first communion the prayer book speaks to you very distinctly about personal advice and intercourse with your parish priest. Neither your first or any subsequent communions are to be made unless you are satisfied as to your own fitness to come to it. If you are in doubt you are advised to go to G.o.d's minister, lay before him those sins that make you afraid or doubtful of coming, and seek his advice. This is not pleasant, but it is useful. Many people speak against it, but it is Christ's appointed way. If you feel that this will help you, go as often as you need, and do not be stopped by any foolish remarks of people who do not understand it, or by any thought of its being a weak and unmanly thing to do. It requires courage, perseverance, and a true estimate of oneself to do it, and these are not generally considered unmanly qualities. Some of the best men, some of the bravest soldiers, have not been ashamed of using this means of grace. Knights of old were accustomed to confess before they went into battle. Read the life of Henry V. of England. He was no milksop, or, as people would say now-a- days, priest-ridden king, but he did not look upon it as an unmanly thing. You are free to choose, or free to refuse it; only pray to be guided aright by G.o.d's Holy Spirit to do that which shall be most to His glory and your soul's good.

_Almsgiving_. Whatever money you have of your own some portion--a tenth, if possible,--should be given to G.o.d in some way or other.

_Bringing others to G.o.d_. We must not be selfish in our religion--if G.o.d has made known the truth to us we must do our best that others may share it also. You can do much in a quiet way, not only by example: you can get a word in where others have not a chance. Many a youngster would gladly keep from wrong, and go on steadily, if he had only someone to stand by him. It is not enough to be good, we must do good, and never laugh at another for his religion. Many years ago a thorough change was worked in a school by the courage of one little boy. He came fresh from home, where he had been accustomed to say his prayers. He knelt down in a school dormitory, as he had been used to do at home, by his bedside.

There was a sudden silence, the boys were astonished. Then some began to bully and try and stop him; others stood up for him. But the battle was won. The better minded boys saw what cowards they had been to give up what they knew was right for fear of chaff--one by one they gradually followed his example, and before that lad left school it was the rule and not the exception for the boys to say their prayers.

_Fasting_. People understand feasts and are ready enough to keep them, but fasting is quite another matter. Feasts should be kept, and the more the great festivals are recognized the better. Fasting, however, is quite as necessary. Appointed times in which to remember more particularly Christ's suffering for us, to deny ourselves lawful pleasures, and to make us think more of our sins and how to conquer them.

They keep us from getting careless, and letting our religion become a sort of Sunday clothes, to be put on at certain times, but to have no real effect upon our daily life.