So Alone Part 10

"Susan!" Peter shouted. "Stop it right now."

"Why should I? We shouldn't have anything to do with Carolyn because my mom says a man died because of her."

Peter reached to grasp Susan's elbow to move her away, but she twisted free of him. Mute and frozen in place with shock, Carrie could only watch.

"None of us want you here, Carolyn!" Susan screamed as she backed over to Marc's car and climbed in the back seat. "Go home and leave us alone. Leave Peter alone. He's too good for the likes of you!" She slammed the door and slumped down in the seat.

Marc looked to Peter for directions. He nodded and Marc jumped into his car and drove out of the parking lot. The other four kids climbed into Wayne's car and drove out right behind them.

Peter walked over to Carrie who stared after them in mute shock, and gathered her into his arms.

Chapter Nine.

"Is there something I can help with?" Don had come out to see what the shouting was about.

"Just the kids letting off a little steam," Peter explained.

Carrie stepped back from the comfort Peter was offering and pulled a tissue from her purse to dab at the tears welling in her eyes. She felt numb. She'd never been the victim of a verbal attack like Susan's. No one had ever treated her that badly--well, except Ralph... and the policeman the day Ralph died.

"From the looks of it, someone got scalded by the steam," Don responded quietly. He lightly placed his hand on Carrie's shoulder.

Carrie forced herself to look up at Don. Despite the heat of the day, she felt cold. A s.h.i.+ver pa.s.sed down her spine. She hugged her arms around her waist.

Don nodded when Peter introduced her. "Why don't you come into the office for a few minutes? You look like you could use a little quiet time."

Don was only trying to help, Carrie knew, but there was really no reason to. She would be all right in a few minutes. Still, Carrie blindly followed down the hall to his office. Her nerves had had all they could take for one day.

Don unlocked the office door and waited for Carrie to precede him. Leaving the door open, he took Carrie's elbow and ushered her around a row of half full boxes on the floor to a small couch and then took a seat in the desk chair, the only other seat in the room.

"Sorry about the mess. I'm trying to clean out files that haven't been touched in years. We're finding stuff that n.o.body even knew was in there."

Peter had followed them as far as the doorway. Carrie felt too embarra.s.sed to look up at him. She certainly wouldn't have to worry about him being interested in her now. Out of the corner of her vision, she could see him look from her to Don. Carrie couldn't see Don, but she could hear the rustle of his responding movement. What must Peter think of her? She hated the idea that he found out people thought of her as a murderer.

"Ah, I think I should wait out in the lounge area or outside, Carolyn. Whenever you feel like going home, just let me know."

Carrie nodded. Without saying more, Peter turned and left the office, shutting the door quietly behind him. She could feel her heart beating in her chest. Why had Susan shouted those awful things at her? Ralph had died five years ago. Did everyone in Sunville still think of her as a murderer? Why wouldn't they let her forget and get on with her life?

Carrie gasped. But... But if people did think that, then by spending time with them she was damaging Peter's reputation. They would think he was wrong by letting her help the teens. Oh, no! Dear Peter. I must not have anything more to do with him. The last thing in the world I want is to hurt him.

"I asked Peter to give us a few minutes alone. Is there anything I can get for you? A gla.s.s of water," Don asked.

"No, really. Thank you." She blew her nose and thought about Peter outside waiting. Kind Peter. Generous Peter. Caring Peter. She couldn't bear to hurt him. Somehow over the short time she'd known him, he'd managed to break through her carefully built armor and touch her heart. In that instant Carrie realized just how easy it would be to fall in love with Peter, but she also knew she should not.

A relations.h.i.+p between them would never be possible. Hadn't he told her he would spend the rest of his life in Sunville? After today she didn't want to be in Sunville one minute longer than she absolutely had to be.

"Carolyn?"

Carrie looked up at Don and smiled though her lip trembled.

"I couldn't help but hear the shouting through the open window here," Don explained. "I don't know what the girl was referring to, and I for one could never believe you're a murderer, but if you want to talk about anything, I'm here for you."

Don looked so concerned that it took a moment before she realized that he hadn't called her Carrie.

"Carolyn?" She frowned. "Why did you call me Carolyn? Peter's the only one who calls me Carolyn. Everyone else calls me Carrie."

Don looked down at his desk for a moment before he spoke. "That's why, I guess," he said with a shrug. "Peter called you Carolyn when he told me a little about you today. Isn't that your name?"

"Yes, but just Peter calls me that," she repeated senselessly.

"From what I can tell, that's because he doesn't think of you in the same way everyone else does. I've known Peter only the few months we both been in Sunville, and I can tell he thinks you're someone special." Don smiled.

"No, he can't!" Carrie snapped loudly.

Don's surprised image became distorted by the tears that suddenly filled her eyes. "I'm sorry." She inhaled deeply and wiped at the tears.

"Why shouldn't he think you're special? He seems to be quite happy knowing you. Couldn't wait to tell me about you and wanted me to meet you. He's very excited about all the help you're giving the kids, too. He said you relate to them very well, just like he knew you would."

"No. He can't know that. He doesn't know all about me. If he did, he wouldn't feel that way about me."

She shook her head and straightened. She needed to leave. "I'm sorry, Reverend Hoag. I don't know why I let a child's anger get to me that way. With my grandmother ill and all, my nerves are frayed."

"I understand," he said kindly. "But won't you tell me--do you know what Susan was talking about?"

"Yes. I do." She waved her hand in a dismissive gesture. "Just part of my past I'm having trouble putting behind me. It keeps popping its ugly head up each time I come back to this town."

Don rose and came around to sit on the front of the desk.

"But I'm not the cause for concern here. That scene outside was created by a child who's starved for attention," she explained. "She was trying to hurt me because... well, because she sees me as compet.i.tion who's drawing Peter's attention away from her. But I'm not. I'm leaving for home this week, though, so it doesn't matter."

"No, don't you see that it matters a great deal to Peter?" Don asked her. "Why are you leaving?"

"I came back to Sunville only to hire a care-giver for my grandmother. The woman will arrive this week and then I'll leave."

"What about Peter? You're going to just walk away from him?"

Carrie dug out another tissue from her purse and wiped her nose. "I must. He's too good a man to spend time with me. I'm not the type of woman for him. I don't belong here. There's no place for me in this town."

Carrie rose. "Thanks for letting me collect myself here. Children can be very cruel when they lash out. It shouldn't have bothered me, but I know a small-town rumor mill is gossip perfection."

She walked around the boxes to the door. "Thanks for caring." She opened the door and looked back at Don. "Good luck with your filing project," she added as she left. She thought she heard Don saying something as she hurried down the corridor, but she couldn't hear what it was.

Peter was leaning against the side of his car. She walked directly around his car and climbed in the far side. As they drove out of the lot, he asked, "Are you okay, Carolyn?"

Carrie nodded. "Sure. Reverend Hoag is very nice. I just needed a minute to get over the shock. I don't know why I let Susan upset me so much."

"With the way she was ranting, it's understandable."

When they pulled up in front of Maddie's house, Carrie saw the four volunteers who had spent the afternoon with her sitting on the porch.

"Carolyn, we need to talk."

"It's better if we just forget what happened." She climbed out and turned around to lean in the open door. "But Peter?" "Yes?"

"Thanks."

"Take care," he responded softly with a smile.

She nodded, shut the door and walked up onto the porch, thankful to hear the car pull away behind her.

"Maddie's taking a snooze in bed," the ladies told her. "We've been checking on her every couple of

minutes."

"Thank you all for coming over here," Carrie said.

The ladies gathered up their things and were walking around the porch to go back to the church parking

lot when one turned back. "Oh, Carrie, I almost forgot. That nice young man from church--Marc's his name, I think, came by to see you. He asked us to tell you that the whole youth group says they're sorry. He said you'd understand."

Carrie pinched her lips together between her teeth and nodded. "Thanks."

The woman accepted her dismissal of the subject and resumed their walk to their cars they'd left at the church. Carrie let out the breath she'd been holding and went in to get supper started.

Later, when they ate, Maddie was still excited about her visitors that afternoon. With a memory that

seemed perfect, she told Carrie all about the lovely time they'd had.

"It was such a wonderful afternoon. Don't you think so, dear?"

Peter reached for the phone to call Don the minute he got home. He didn't want the man to break a

confidence of anything said between him and Carolyn, but Peter was so worried about Carolyn, he

wanted whatever Don would offer him.

"I really don't know what it's all about, but don't stop caring for her, Peter," Don told him. "She needs you. If I can help, I'll be happy to."

"I think I'm too emotionally involved to be the one to help her," Peter admitted.

"Try to get her to come back and see me before she leaves."

"I'll try, but from the look on her face when she got out of my car, I don't think she'll like the idea. And

I don't like the idea of her leaving without resolving what ever is troubling her so deeply. I care too much

to give up hope."

"That's good. Say, by the way, when you told me about her, the name rang a bell. I couldn't figure out why at first."

"Old Sunville name. Her family has lived here for decades."

"But that wasn't why. I've been house cleaning here and found an old letter with her name on it."

"You didn't give it to her?"

"No. I realized it must be her after she left. She probably won't even be interested in having it, but I'll give it to her the next time I see her."

Peter ended the call after thanking Don for trying to help, and sat on his couch without moving. He felt as if he'd been hit by an eighteen wheeler. When Susan had lashed out verbally at Carrie, he felt like she'd whipped him as well. He'd felt each vindictive statement physically, like real blows.

Did he really care for Carolyn in such a special and personal way that her pain would become his pain? The only answer he could come up with was yes.

He dropped his head back and closed his eyes. How could he let himself care so much? From the start he'd known that she would never consider staying in Sunville. >From the first day he had seen her when he had awakened her with the mower, she had said she hoped she wouldn't be in town long. How could two people with such opposite goals in life end up caring for each other? Or was he imagining things when he thought she cared for him in a special way?

He slid his hands over his face. How could Susan say such things? She had even called Carolyn a murderer. Impossible. No one could believe that of her.

Peter straightened suddenly. What if the kids did believe what Susan said about Carolyn? Where did Susan hear that tale? Were there others who thought it to be true? He thought about the possibilities. Nah. Anyone who had talked to her knew it couldn't be true. Why would she say that? And what would Peter do now? He wanted to know the whole story, but the only person he wanted to hear it from was Carolyn.

Struck with the one action he could take immediately on her behalf, he began, "Dear G.o.d." He prayed for Carolyn and for Susan, and asked G.o.d to show him what he should do.

He always prayed to discover G.o.d's will and the peace and contentment that accompanied it. He welcomed the inner calm and acceptance that he felt. He prayed for the same for Carolyn.