Pulse. Part 12

"Yes, I know a it turns the vampire human, right."

"But only in a a particular circ.u.mstance." Stuart's voice grew heavy. "If you are...chaste."

"Chaste?" Kalina's voice grew a note higher. "Like a a virgin?"

"Yes," Stuart's voice dropped to a whisper. "I thought if I told you, you would feel an obligation to me, to..."

"You lied to me!" Kalina's voice rose in righteous anger. "You said it was for my protection a that you were afraid of hurting me!"

"That was all true," said Stuart. "How can you doubt it? I thought I was doing the right thing!"

"This whole time a you just wanted the Life's Blood. You wanted to make me fall in love with you a so I'd give it to you willingly a and keep me away from Jaegar because you wanted to make sure I'd stay a... ew! Ew!"

She stormed away from him. "Don't touch me!"

"It wasn't like that!" Stuart insisted. "I wanted to do the right thing. I thought if you knew what the conditions of the spell were, you would a make your choices based on that, rather than on...your heart."

"Did you even like me?" Kalina continued on, her eyes full of tears. She was too hurt to listen to him. "Or are you only with me because you think I'll make you human again?"

"I'm crazy about you!" Stuart rushed to her, taking her hands in his.

"But you can't suck my blood. You can't be with me. You can do it with Maeve a but not with me."

"You're special!"

"So special you can't even touch me!"

"Is that what this is about?"

"h.e.l.lo!" a voice echoed through the vineyard. It was bright, chirpy, female. "Blood delivery service!"

Maeve sauntered into view. On her face was a smile of ecstasy a the experience of giving Stuart blood had, in the past week, brought color to her cheeks and her lips. Where before she had seemed shy, even meek, now she was filled with confidence, from the way she strutted across the vineyard to the almost seductive manner in which she tossed her hair.

Kalina was angry with her, despite herself. She knew that Maeve had no idea what she was doing a that it was she, Kalina, who had begged her to give blood, and yet she could not help the jealousy that overtook her, that flowed in her veins instead of blood. Maeve could give her blood to Stuart; in return, Maeve could experience what she had experienced, the l.u.s.ty high of sharing blood with a vampire. But Kalina a for all her "specialness" - was forbidden.

"We'll talk about this later," said Stuart. "Please a please, don't be angry."

"Hi, Maeve!" Kalina's voice was brittle and sharp. "Great to see you."

"I've been taking vitamins, just like you suggested. And avoiding aspirin to make sure the blood doesn't clot."

Stuart nodded awkwardly, his eyes on the ground. Why wasn't he looking at her? Kalina couldn't help wondering. What was going on between them? Is that what he really wanted a he was stuck with Kalina to groom her for her Life's Blood a but he really wanted Maeve? Kalina blinked back her tears. She was being irrational; she knew it! But she couldn't help the anger blazing up within her.

They went into the house.

"I even brought Band-Aids!" said Maeve brightly.

"Kalina," Stuart's voice was trembling. "Do you mind if I..."

"Oh, go ahead!" said Kalina. "Totally fine! Totally!"

If Stuart had been able to perceive the irony in her words, her silent plea for him to refuse the blood, she might have been able to forgive him. But centuries of being undead had not yet honed him to the subtleties of female communication, and he nodded at her words, taking Maeve's neck into his mouth. The unbridled joy on Maeve's face was more than Kalina could bear. As she moaned slightly when Stuart's fangs sank deep into the white flesh of her throat, Kalina felt pain bubbling up inside of her, a blinding rage that closed her off to common sense. Of course they wanted each other! How had she been so stupid? How could she not have seen it before? Stuart had wanted Maeve all along a she didn't have to remain a virgin, she didn't need to be protected from her own Life's Blood. She could make her own decisions; she was free.

Kalina couldn't believe how stupid she had been! Somewhere, deep inside of her, a rational voice was telling her that she was being more stupid now; its cries were drowned out by her jealousy.

"Fine!" she said. "If you guys just want to do it, just bone already! I don't mind! Obviously, I'm stuck being a virgin forever!"

Stuart stopped immediately, turning to her. On his face was abashed confusion.

"What?"

Had tears not been stinging at her eyes, she might have seen that there was nothing but utter perplexity on his face at her words. Nevertheless, she found that she could not stop the torrent of anger that came out of her.

"I mean, obviously she's the one you want!"

"Kalina, what? No!" Maeve's voice was rich with concern. "You know we're only doing this because you asked..."

"Oh, come on a like I can't see how much you enjoy it!" Kalina stood up. "I'm going," she said. "Don't follow me! Or do you need to make sure your precious Life's Blood isn't being deflowered somewhere?"

"Kalina, please!" Stuart ran after her. "It's not like that! It was never like that. Even if you weren't the carrier a I'd still want to wait a want it to be special..."

"Special special special!" Kalina shouted. "Well, maybe I don't want to be special! Maybe I want you to do with me what you're obviously enjoying doing to her!"

"You think I don't want to do that every day?" Stuart's voice was filled with anger and pain. "You think it's not a battle every time I see you?"

"I've already had one boyfriend who would run away every time things got...out of hand," said Kalina. "I don't need another."

She got into her family's spare car and slammed the door shut. "I'm going!" she shouted.

"Kalina!"

But the car was already speeding down the dark and dusty road. Night had come over them, and Kalina could see a s.h.i.+mmering moonlight through her tears. She didn't know if she'd been right or wrong a as her anger settled, she felt sorry for her harsh words. But the idea still filled her with disgust. Having to stay a virgin for some stupid vampire curse? She'd been happy to wait a she wanted her first time to be right, after all a but the idea of some vampires deciding whether she could or couldn't have s.e.x filled her with disgust, with rage.

Her mind flickered to thoughts of Jaegar. He'd been open and upfront about desiring her a no lies, no euphemisms a just a direct blaze in his eyes and the sensation of his mouth upon her lips...

No, she couldn't think about...

In a haze, she saw a deer in the middle of the road. c.r.a.p. She pressed on the brakes as quickly as she could, swerved to avoid it, but it was too late. The car veered sharply off the road and down into the woods; she saw a tree grow larger and larger before her a and then there was the sound of a crash, and the splintering of gla.s.s and wood, and then she saw nothing at all.

chapter 15.

"Kalina! Kalina!"

Kalina opened her eyes. Through the swooning haze she could feel a pounding pain in her leg, and a further throbbing at her ankle.

"Kalina!" It was Jaegar's voice, but it was softer than she was used to hearing it. She remembered that he had sounded cruel, callous, when he spoke to her, but now his voice was rich and deep, filled with concern. His hands were lightly tapping at her cheeks, trying to rouse her into consciousness. but now his voice was rich and deep, filled with concern. His hands were lightly tapping at her cheeks, trying to rouse her into consciousness.

"Kalina, wake up!"

"Where am I?" She looked around. "The car..."

"Smashed to pieces," Jaegar said. "But you're fine a I think. You had a broken ankle; I've put a splint on it. Just don't move it."

"Where am I?" Kalina sat up. "Am I safe?"

"I'm not going to hurt you, if that's what you're asking," said Jaegar. "I'm not going to bite you a don't worry. Vampire's honor."

"I crashed the car..."

"And it's a good thing I found you! Or you might have been someone else's vampire meat by now! What were you thinking a taking a car out in the night like that?

That's the second time you've wrecked a car this month. If you ever borrow mine, I'd be sure to add more insurance."

"My head," Kalina moaned softly. "I feel like..."

"Like you've just crashed a car?" Jaegar chuckled.

"Yeah, exactly. I was...upset."

"You and your lover have a fight?" Jaegar stood up and began pacing around the room.

"I don't want to talk about it," said Kalina. "It's none of your business, anyway. I should call Stuart a let him know..." She thought of Stuart and her face fell. How could she speak to him after the fight they'd had that night? Shame spread across her cheeks in an uneven blush.

"What happened?" Jaegar let his hand lightly brush Kalina's shoulder.

"I'm not so sure I like being special," said Kalina, "being protected."

"Well, you picked the wrong vampires to hang around, then."

"Where are we, anyway?"

"We're in Carmel a at a friend's summer house. Funny a vampires have summer houses, too. Considering they don't like the sun...we're in the bas.e.m.e.nt; I'd rather avoid the UV rays if I can help it." He cupped her face. "Tans don't suit me."

"Why are you being so nice to me?"

He sat at the foot of her bed. "Where would be the fun a the tension a if you're already out of the game? What's a game of cat and mouse without the mouse?"

"Ew." She swatted him away.

"You can recoil," said Jaegar. "Now I know you're improving."

The room at last came into focus. Kalina thought back to the events leading up to this moment a the fight, the crash, Maeve, her discovery. The memories flooded her brain; against herself, she winced.

"Why did you do it?" she said.

"Do what?"

"Drink from Maeve?" She propped herself up on her elbows. "I mean, why are you so nice to me a and then how could you do something so horrible to her?"

"Who says I did?"

Kalina gasped. "You did, of course..."

"Did I?" Jaegar smiled at her. "Think back..."

No, he had never come right out and said it a but she had accused him, and he had not contradicted her; she had a.s.sumed...

"I believe, Miss Kalina, that you said it."

"I don't understand. Why did you let me..."

"You believed what you wanted to believe of me." Jaegar said coolly, rising and striding about the room. "You wanted to believe the worst of me, so you did. So I let you. I might as well have a in any case. I am a vampire. I will not be tamed, Kalina a by you or anyone else."

"I'm not trying to tame you," Kalina shot back. "But if you hurt my friends, I can promise you a I will stake you."

"One hundred years ago," said Jaegar. "I would have had no compunction about hurting your friends."

"So what changed?"

"Aaron," said Jaegar. "And you."

"And me?"

Jaegar sighed heavily. "I find that...I do not wish to hurt you." He drew in breath. "Make of that what you will."

The stillness in the air was uncomfortable. Kalina almost found herself wis.h.i.+ng that he would go back to teasing her again a that they could go back to the pleasant normalcy of their rivalry and banter.

"Do you love me?" she asked him.

"Don't be ridiculous," said Jaegar, a beat too quickly. "Vampires do not love."

"Do you want me?"

"Yes."

The simplicity of it, elemental and primal, astounded her. It had been so difficult, with Stuart a the way he always pulled away, the way he always stopped, the way he guarded her purity with such fanatical self-restraint.

She laughed weakly. "I'm seventeen. I've got two mind-blowingly gorgeous vampires fighting over me. And for this spell to work, I'm supposed to remain a virgin!

"Life's so hard, sometimes," said Jaegar.