Keys To The Kingdom_ Sir Thursday Part 7

"They're ordinary-grade Denizens," said Fred, whose bed and locker were patt erns of military order. He said this as if it explained everything.

"What do you mean?" Arthur asked, since it didn't really explain anything to him.

"They won't do anything until they're told to," said Fred, with a puzzled gl ance at Arthur. "Are the ordinary Denizens different in the Lower House? All this lot are from the Middle. Paper-cutters, most of them, though Florimel over there, she was a Binder, Second Cla.s.s. Have to watch out for her. She t hinks she ought to be Recruit Lance-Corporal because she's got the highest p recedence in the House of the lot of us. I guess she'll find out that doesn' t matter here. All of us recruits are equal in the eyes of the Army: low as you can go. The only way from here is up. I reckon I might be able to make g eneral by the time my hitch is up."

Fred liked to talk. Arthur listened to him as he packed away his equipment, a process that was much more difficult than the ill.u.s.tration indicated. Thou gh Fred had only been at Fort Transformation for a day longer than Arthur, h e had already found out a lot about their training, the training staff or training cadre, as they were supposed to be called and everything else.

"The first week is all getting to know how to look right and some marching a bout and such-like," Fred explained. "At least, that's what's on the schedul e. Over there." He pointed at the door. It was so far away, and the light from the hurricane l ights so dim, that Arthur couldn't tell what he was pointing at.

"On the noticeboard, next to the door," continued Fred. "Let's go take a look . We've got five minutes till dinner's over and we'll need to be over there a nyway."

"How do you know?" asked Arthur. His watch had disappeared when the rec ruit uniform had swarmed up his arm.

"Axeforth just went out the back door. He'll march around to the front, come i n, and shout at us to line up there like he did before. It's called 'falling i n.' Don't ask me why. You need your hat on."

Arthur picked up his pillbox hat and put it back on, grimacing at the feel o f the chinstrap under his mouth rather than on his chin, which he felt was t he proper place for something called a chinstrap. But everyone else wore the irs the same way, under the bottom lip, and the strap wasn't long enough to do anything else.

"Ready?" Fred stood at attention next to Arthur. "We have to march everywhe re, or we'll get shouted at."

"Who by?" asked Arthur. The other twenty Denizens in the platoon were all l ying down on their beds, staring at the ceiling.

"Sergeants, corporals noncommissioned officers they're called," said Fred. "NCOs. They appear mysteriously. Best not to risk it."

Arthur shrugged and when Fred marched off, fell into step with him. After th e first dozen paces, he felt like he was getting the hang of it and stopped worrying about his feet and concentrated on swinging his arms.

Stopping in the right way or baiting, as Sergeant Helve called it and ha d explained to him at length was somewhat more difficult.

"I'll give the command, shall I?" asked Fred as they approached the wall an d the noticeboard. "Got to give it as the right foot comes down, we take on e step with the left, hang on no oops. Halt!"

Fred had waited too long and both of them did funny little steps to avoid h itting the wall, which made them halt completely out of time. Arthur turned to laugh at Fred, only to freeze his smile into a grimace as Sergeant Helv e loomed up out of the shadows.

"What misbegotten disgrace of a movement do you call that?" screamed the s ergeant. A bra.s.s-tipped wooden pace-stick appeared in his hand and whistle d through the air to point back towards the beds. "Double-back to your bun ks like soldiers, not like some prissy paper-pus.h.i.+ng puppets!"

Fred spun around and was off like a shot, still marching, but at a much faste r rate. Arthur followed him more slowly, till he was suddenly accelerated by Sergeant Helve's voice bellowing so close and so loud that it felt like it wa s inside his ear.

"Double! When I say double, I mean at the double. Twice as fast as normal marching, Recruit Green!"

Arthur doubled, Sergeant Helve running backwards from him at a rate that A rthur supposed must be triple or quadruple time or some other measure only possible to sergeants.

"Back straight, chin just so, swing those arms! Not that high!"

When Arthur was halfway back, Helve spun forwards and out of the pool of li ght from the hurricane lamp overhead. Before Arthur could take more than tw o steps, the sergeant appeared next to the closest bed, striking his pace-s tick on the boot soles of the resting Denizen and yelling something that so unded like a single word: "Standfastforinspectionyoudopydozydisgracefullumpof leftoverNothing!"

The Denizen stood extremely fast, spare equipment cascading off the bed. Hi s movement was like the first in a line of dominoes, as every Denizen along leaped from his or her bed.

"Fall in on this line in order of height!" commanded Sergeant Helve. He ges tured with his pace-stick and a glowing white line appeared on the floor. " You will not be seen on the parade ground of Fort Transformation until I am sure you will not disgrace me! You will parade inside here instead! Every evening after dinner and every morning at one hour before sunrise, dressed and equipped as per the training schedule that you will find posted by the south door. Atten-hut!"

Arthur barely managed to reach the end of the line in time to brace at atten tion. Since Fred was slightly taller, he fell in on Arthur's right. Both boy s stared at a spot in s.p.a.ce ahead of them as Helve marched along, pausing to pull Denizens out and rearrange them. When he got to Arthur, Helve looked d own his nose at him, then marched out to the front, did an about-turn that s eemed to Arthur as if it relied on him being suspended by invisible wires fr om the ceiling, and shouted, "Stand at ease!"

Only half the Denizens moved, the other half remaining at attention. Of th ose that moved, most moved the wrong leg or waved their arms or otherwise did things that attracted the displeasure of Sergeant Helve, who proceeded to tell them what they had done wrong and just how displeased this made h im.

Two hours later, after hundreds of commands of "Atten-hut" and "Stand at ea se," Arthur fell over from sheer exhaustion. Though his crab-armored leg ha d stood up well, his entire body could not cope with the constant activity.

Helve marched over and looked down at him. When Fred bent to help Arthur up, the sergeant ordered him to stand fast.

"You are a weak reed, Recruit Green!" Helve shouted.

"Weak reeds make for badly woven baskets! This platoon will not be a badl y woven basket!"

What? thought Arthur. Grimly, he struggled to his feet and tried to straighte n up. Helve stared at him, his jaw thrust out aggressively. Then the sergeant spun about and resumed his place in front of the platoon.

"Reveille is one hour before dawn," he announced. "You will parade in Num ber Two Recruit Field Uniform at that time, unless detailed for a special parade, in which case you will wear Number One Recruit Dress Uniform. Pl atoon! Dismiss!"

Arthur turned to the left, stamped his foot, and marched off, as did Fred and eight of the platoon. The others turned right or completely around and crash ed into their neighbors and fell over.

"You all right?" asked Fred. "I wouldn't have thought a bit of foot-thumpi ng would knock you out. Not like we're proper mortals anymore."

"That's the problem," said Arthur, very wearily. "II got kind of a bit af fected by sorcery. So I am more mortal now than most of the Piper's childre n."

"Cripes!" exclaimed Fred with extreme interest. "How did that happen?"

"I'm not allowed to talk about it."

"I knew there's been something going on in the Lower House," said Fred. " What with the mail being cut off and all. But we never heard what happene d. Has Mister Monday been doing something he shouldn't?" "Mister Monday?" asked Arthur. "Then you haven't heard "

"Heard what?" Fred seemed eager for news. "I haven't heard anything, that's for sure. No mail for two years, and no newspaper neither. All the fault of the Lower House, least that's what my boss said."

Arthur didn't reply. Fred was a good guy and he thought they would be friends . But Arthur couldn't afford for his real ident.i.ty to get out and he didn't w ant to tell Fred too much too soon.

"Heard what?" Fred repeated.

"I can't talk about it," Arthur replied. "Sorry. Ifif I get permission, I'll tell you."

"Permission from who?"

"Look, I really can't talk about it. I just want to get to sleep. We've got to get up I don't know soon."

Arthur clutched at Fred's shoulder as the ground s.h.i.+fted under his feet. He was so tired it took him several seconds to process that it wasn't the groun d moving. He was swaying where he stood, so exhausted he couldn't even stand still.

"We'd better check the schedule first," said Fred patiently. "I don't like the s ound of 'special parades.'"

"You go," Arthur groaned. "I don't think I can march that far."

"Yes, you can," said Fred. He removed Arthur's hand and pushed on his shou lders to turn him around. "Do you good. Bit of a stretch."

Arthur groaned and tried to turn back towards the beds, but Fred nudged hi m onward.

"Oh, all right," said Arthur. He shook his head to try and clear it. "Let's go , then. By the left, qumarch!"

This time, with Arthur carefully giving the command, they managed to halt p roperly. After a nervous look around for a jack-in-the-box sergeant, they s tudied the schedule papers on the noticeboard.

Fred was the first to notice that their names had appeared, all on their own, under a single heading on a separate piece of paper.

"Oh, no," he said, tapping his finger on the paper. "That is really bad luck."

Arthur read the notice. In his weary state it took him several seconds to ev en focus on the words and they didn't mean anything to him.

"'Recruits R. Green and F. Gold Report to Bathroom Attendants in Administr ation Building Blue at 0600.' What's bad about that?"

Fred looked at him, his eyes wide in disbelief. "Bathroom Attendants, Ray . From the Upper House."

Arthur still looked puzzled.

"Cleaning between the ears, Ray! They're here to clean between our ears!

Tomorrow morning!"

Chapter Ten

Leaf hesitated in the corridor, uncertain whether to go back to the fire sta irs or explore more of the Lower Ground Three floor. She had no time to thin k, but through the cracked lenses of her gla.s.ses the fire stairs looked omin ously red-tinged, so Leaf decided to check out what was on her current level.

Clutching the box with the precious pocket in it, she hobbled off down the c orridor, pus.h.i.+ng through the swinging doors that led deeper into the hospita l. The nurse might or might not come after her, but if she didn't, Leaf knew o ther mind-slaves of the Skinless Boy would. She had to find somewhere to hi de and rest and work out what to do next. But that was easier said than don e. Particularly since every door she tried along the corridor was locked. Leaf forced herself to move faster, though it hurt, as her options grew more a nd more limited. The corridor was turning out to be like the fire stairs: If s he couldn't open any of the doors, she'd be cornered at the end.

She had a moment of relief when she saw a utility door open in the wall, wit h orange safety cones around it and a sign that said caution wet floor. But when she looked inside it was just a tiny room, not much bigger than a cupbo ard, with a big red vertical pipe marked fb wet riser, whatever that was.

Finally, with the end of the corridor in sight, Leaf found a door that opene d. She slid through it, then shut and locked it before even looking around. It was a laundry room, a big open area dominated by four huge was.h.i.+ng machin es on one side and four equally large driers on the other. They were all off , though there was laundry in wheelie baskets in front of them. There was also a desk with a phone on it. As soon as Leaf saw it, she had an idea. She couldn't think of what to do next, but she could phone a friend. Or, in this case, her brother, Ed. He was almost never without his cell phon e, and since he'd been recovering from the Sleepy Plague he'd been sitting u p there in quarantine messaging his friends.

Leaf picked up the phone and dialed. She could hear her brother's phone ring ing, but he didn't pick up right away.

"Come on!" Leaf urged. She couldn't believe she was going to get diverted t o voice mail. "h.e.l.lo?"

"Ed, it's me, Leaf."

"Leaf? Where are you? Mom and Dad are going crazy inhere!"

"I'm in the hospital downstairs. Look, this is going to sound weird, but I'v e been somewhere else I mean like a whole other planet with Arthur Penhali gon. It's complicated, but there's an enemy of his here and it's trying to g et me and I've got to get out "

"Leaf! Have you hit your head or something?"

"Well, yesbut no! I know it sounds strange. Remember the dog-faces we saw?"

"Yeah"

"They're part of it. And this new bioweapon, the Grayspot thing. That's part o f it too. Oh, and the Arthur that's here now isn't the real Arthur. I don't su ppose he it will get into the closed quarantine areas, but if it does, don't let it touch you. Not even a handshake or anything."

"Leaf, you're freaking me out! What do I tell Mom and Dad? They thought y ou must have been hurt in that water explosion and no one's found you yet ."

"What water explosion?"

"On the fifth floor. Some kind of big pipe called a fire-fighting riser explo ded and flooded a whole bunch of rooms. It was all over the Net until this Gr ayspot thing."

"The Border Sea" whispered Leaf. Ed had to be talking about the wave tha t had carried her and Arthur and his bed out of this Secondary Realm.

"What?"

"It doesn't matter," Leaf quickly covered. "I need to work out some way of ge tting out of the hospital. Past the quarantine line."

"Leaf! They'll shoot you! Just I don't know relax. You sound really stre ssed out."

"I am stressed out! Look, can you think of anything or not? I haven't got mu ch time."

"Hang on, Dad wants to talk to you "

"Leaf?"

Leaf's father sounded very anxious.

"Dad, look, I know it sounds weird, but I'm caught up in something "

"Leaf, we're just relieved to hear from you. Stay where you are, and stay on the phone. I'll arrange for the police to come to you "

"Dad, I don't need the police. This isn't.i.t's not something look, I can't explain. Love you!"

Leaf dropped the phone on its cradle, collapsed onto the chair, and pressed her fingers into her forehead. That reminded her she was still wearing the g la.s.ses. She thought about taking them off for a moment, because it was a bit distracting seeing the colored auras. But she left them on, since they migh t help her see things that would help.

"There must be some way out," she whispered to herself.

I can't go out any of the main doors or the staff exits or anything like that on the ground floor. There's no point going higher, because there's no way o ut from there, unless I got pitked up by a helicopter or something off the ro of, and that's not going to happen. But lower down there are the parking lot s. But those entrances will be guarded too. All the entrances for people or c ars will be guarded. The door handle suddenly rattled. Leaf jumped in her seat. She heard male v oices on the other side and tensed, waiting for the door to be unlocked or broken down.

"Locked," she heard a man say. "Try the next one."

Leaf listened intently. She heard footsteps, then someone else talking, tho ugh she couldn't make out the words. Then more footsteps, going away.

The search had begun. It could be either hospital security, catching her on a surveillance camera, or mind-slaves of the Skinless Boy. Or they could be both, Leaf realized.

I can't go out at ground level. No point going up. But there must be other ways out. A laundry chute Leaf got up and carefully looked around, but there was only the door she'd come in. Still, an idea lurked at the back of her mind. She just couldn't t ease it out of her bruised and numbed head. Something had flashed up when s he was talking to Ed The firefighting riser that burst. FB Wet Riser. The big red pipe. Caution wet floor. Maybe the pipe went somewhere Leaf went to the door, listened, opened it, and slid out into the corridor. The re was no one visible on this side of the swing doors. Quickly she ran to the u tility door and went in, shutting it after her.

She had only just started to inspect the pipe when she heard running footste ps move past her, then a man shouting.

"She's in 3G104 she called from there two minutes ago!"

Leaf turned to the pipe again. It was only a few inches wider in diameter t han her shoulders and extended through the floor and the ceiling. At first it looked like there was no way in, but when Leaf walked around, she found a panel had been unbolted from the back, the eight nuts laid out neatly on the floor. There was a long wrench next to them and an open lunch box next to it, with a half-eaten sandwich and an apple indicating the workers had b een forced to leave quickly, presumably to join everyone else waiting upstairs.