Shanji. Part 11

Will you ride with me?

No, not today. There is someone else, closer to your age. I will watch, this time. Be careful what you say, now. You are known by another name among these people, and it is Weimeng's wish. Please honor it, so she won't be disgraced. I will explain later. Remember, you are the foster child of Lady Weimeng, First Wife of the Son of Heaven.

And very quickly, Kati heard the name the people would call her. They came up to the troopers, and the men turned, bowing first to Mengmoshu, then to Kati. She was astonished, and could only smile in return.

"Chosen One," said an armored man, "you are early. We hadn't expected you for at least an hour." He turned to a shorter man. "Fetch Lui-Pang right away, and tell him to saddle the black mare for Mengnu."

The shorter man hurried away.

So her name was Mengnu, among the people. The name of Weimeng's dead child, but Kati was in a happy mood, and the false name didn't bother her. Kati had replaced Mengnu, bringing joy to Weimeng, and she knew the woman loved her as her own. What was the harm in using a name given by the woman who tried so hard to be a mother to her?

Minutes later, a boy appeared; a very handsome boy, tall and slender in the saddle. He rode a white stallion with patches of grey, like handprints, and a little black mountain horse followed closely behind. Kati could not restrain herself. She ran to the boy, and he smiled down at her.

He was very handsome, she decided. "Is that my horse?" she asked.

"It is if you're Mengnu," he said.

"I am." She went to the little horse, stroked its muzzle, hugged it.

"I will help you up," said the boy, beginning to dismount.

Kati jerked the tether rope from his hand, saw the reins wrapped around the saddle horn. "I can do it myself," she said. Before he could dismount, she stretched to reach the horn, hopped to snap one foot in a stirrup, and swung smoothly upwards to seat herself.

"Check her stirrups, Lui-Pang," said someone. The men were grinning at her, looking pleased. Even Mengmoshu gave her a little nod of approval.

Lui-Pang adjusted her stirrups, initially too short, and she directed him, standing to check the fit. The animal tensed beneath her, and she felt its excitement. She trotted her horse to the gate, and waited there while the boy mounted up on his stallion and joined her.

"We have one hour," he said. "I've been told we should stay on flat ground in the valley. Let's go slowly, at first. I'm responsible for your safety."

"I want to go fast, and so does this horse."

"She's a good horse," said Lui-Pang, "as long as you're good to her. But I think you know what to do."

He looked down from several hands above her. They walked the dirt road lined with unlit torches and turned left, away from the mountain trail, a broad plain of short gra.s.s sloping downwards ahead of them. "We are far enough," he said, and surged ahead at a trot. Kati was instantly beside him, the little mare quick to respond to the touch of her knees. The boy Lui-Pang smiled, and increased his speed. Kati went right with him.

A minute later they were side-by-side in a full gallop across fields of gra.s.s, and the wind was whipping Kati's face, the little mare straining beneath her, its neck stretching out as Kati floated above the saddle, exhilarated by the pounding thrust in her legs. They held that pace for several minutes, until Lui-Pang veered right to a trail leading to the summit of a hillock, where he slowed to a trot, Kati right behind him. They stopped at the summit, and Lui-Pang pointed back to the city, a small, sparkling ball, then south to where the gra.s.s fields seemed to go on forever.

"There's a desert out there, somewhere," he said.

"Will we see it?" said Kati.

"No, it's too far. But I will go there someday, when I'm a trooper. My father says people will eventually be living there to work in the factories. There is no more s.p.a.ce in the mountain for making tools, flyers or weapons, even things for the homes of the n.o.bles."

"Is your father a trooper?"

"Yes. He was with Mengyao when you were brought back from the mountains. I know who you really are, and I'm not surprised at how well you ride. Among the Hansui, girls don't ride at all. They are taught manners and fas.h.i.+on, and little else among the n.o.bles."

"I'm not a n.o.ble," said Kati.

"I know, but you are kept by the Emperor's First Wife and your teachers are Moshuguang. I hear that you have special powers."

He was frankly staring at her in an appraising, yet friendly way. "Can you actually change the color of your eyes?"

Kati could sense only curiosity in his mind, and admiration for the way she rode a horse. His dark, closely-s.p.a.ced eyes twinkled with a kind of amus.e.m.e.nt. He had the round, Hansui face, but a narrow nose that, together with the eyes, gave him an intense, almost dangerous look. Barely older than she, he was still thin, but his shoulders were broad, and square.

Kati suddenly felt shy, and couldn't keep herself from smiling. Lui-Pang returned the smile, and said, "You are young to be a student of the Moshuguang."

"I'm eight," she said.

"And I am twelve. I've been riding for six years, and now I work with sword and bow. When I am sixteen, I will receive my rifle and become a trooper. I follow in the way of my father, and his father."

"You are lucky to have a father," said Kati. "I have lost mine."

"I know. But maybe you'll find him again, someday. Your life in the palace must be good, though."

"I'm comfortable with it, and Lady Weimeng is good to me, but being here is nicer than in the palace.

This is where I really want to be-outside, and in the mountains, maybe by the big sea in the west. Can

we go farther? I can still see the city."

This time they went at a leisurely trot, down the hillock and out onto sloping fields of gra.s.s. After a while, the scenery was all the same, and then Lui-Pang stopped.

"We have to return, now. If we hurry, we can be back on time."

"I don't want it to be over," said Kati.

"Neither do I. If you ask for it, I will be a.s.signed to you again as an escort."

Kati smiled. "I will ask it. Are you ready?"

"Yes."

Both horses jumped together, and Lui Pang was fair. He held back his stallion just enough so that Kati's

little animal was still nose to nose with it when they charged down the dirt road towards the gate, scattering people before them. They reined in, making a cloud of dust, Kati dropping expertly to the ground before they were even stopped. The waiting troopers clapped their hands with approval of the performance, and Mengmoshu was puffed up like a proud father, smiling as she rushed to hug him without shame, without inhibition. It was what she felt like doing, without knowing why.

You did well, and I shouldn't be surprised.

But can I do it again? Lui Pang is very nice, and he rides fast when I want to. He does not treat me like a little child.

I will arrange it, but only two days a week. Your work must be done.

Thank you, Mengmoshu. Thank you for hearing me. She hugged him again, while the other men looked on, curious about them.

Lui Pang led her horse away, but she saw him again a few minutes later, while Mengmoshu was talking to a trooper she suspected was the boy's father. Lui-Pang was with five other boys his age, and they were carrying long swords made from a plastic material, holding them casually by the curved blades. When they pa.s.sed by, Kati nodded sharply to Lui-Pang, and smiled brightly. He seemed to understand her unspoken message. They would ride together again.

When Mengmoshu joined her, she pointed to the boys, and asked, "What are they doing?"

"They study the art of the sword with Master Yung, who teaches the traditional ways. The swords they use are made from flexible tubing wrapped with polymer fabric. They have the proper weight, but are safe to use in practice. They aren't real swords, Kati. The boys don't practice with steel blades until they're fourteen."

"I want to learn that," said Kati. "And I want to learn how to shoot arrows with the bow."

"This is not traditional for girls, even among the Tumatsin," said Mengmoshu, guiding her back to the monorail car.

"But I want to learn everything!" she said, excited again.

Mengmoshu's hand stroked her hair once, then rested on her shoulder. "Then we will find time for it in the future. Are you ready to work now?"

"Oh yes! I promised you that."

But Kati was disappointed by the rest of the day. They returned to the palace, and the room where Juimoshu and Mengyao waited patiently. They put the helmet on her, and the twinkling stars were there. Kati worked hard, focusing on the lights, trying to make them bigger, seeing herself as a moth attracted to a flame, but the lights remained as they were, just flickering spots.

"I'm sorry," she said, as they removed the helmet. "I'm trying hard, but it isn't working." She had badly wanted to please them, and had failed to do so for the first time.

"It might be the test itself," said Mengyao. "Don't blame yourself, Kati. We're not sure what we're looking for here, and our procedure might be wrong."

But Kati was near tears when Juimoshu returned her to her rooms. Her mood lightened when she ate with Weimeng that evening, telling her about the ride with Lui-Pang. Weimeng acted as if it had been an adventure of terror, gasping as Kati told her story.

She grew serious again as Weimeng was tucking her into bed, and they were having their nightly, quiet moments together before sleep. She looked up at Weimeng, and said, "Among the people, I am called Mengnu."

Weimeng blushed, averted her eyes from Kati's. "I should have warned you. One day, I said it to someone, and then I could not take it back. The name is dear to me."

"The name of your baby who died," said Kati.

"Yes," said Weimeng, and there were tears in her eyes. Her fingers brushed Kati's cheeks and forehead. "But now I have you, and often I think of you as my own child, returned to me by First Mother. Perhaps it's a fantasy."

Kati took the woman's hand in hers. "I know who I am, and a name is just a name. I have not corrected what the people call me, and you are like my mother, now. If you wish to call me Mengnu, I don't mind. It is your privilege."

Weimeng burst into tears. She embraced Kati, and cried into her shoulder, murmuring, "My darling child, how much I love you. The joy you've brought into my life is something I don't deserve, but you are here. And perhaps, in time, you will come to call me mother."

Later, as Kati neared sleep, she felt warm and content about bringing happiness to Weimeng. She drifted off peacefully, but it seemed she'd slept only a little while before being awakened again. There was a presence in her mind, hovering there without ident.i.ty.

h.e.l.lo? Who's there?

No answer, but the presence was still there, and she kept her eyes closed.

The matrix of twinkling stars appeared suddenly, and she was nearly awake, for she had seen the sight before when, like now, Mengmoshu's helmet was not on her head.

Mengmoshu? Are you there?

And then there was that beautiful voice, as if murmuring into her ear.

No, dear. It is I.

Mandughai! It has been a long time!

I know it seems that way, but I've never left you.

The emerald eyes of Mandughai had not appeared. There was only darkness, with the matrix of twinkling lights.

Kati, I want you to look beyond the stars. Look closely, and tell me what you see there.

Kati looked, and at first there was only blackness, but as she relaxed again it seemed there was something vaguely familiar there: a faint, s.h.i.+mmering curtain, deep purple, filling the void.

I see a faint, purple light everywhere.

Look at that light, Kati. Let the stars rush by you, and go to the purple light.

It seemed to happen without effort. The stars grew, and rushed past her, and the purple light grew brighter, only it was not one, continuous thing, but a myriad of tiny points, close together. She rushed on, and the points were further apart, each one steady, not flickering.

Pick one light, Kati, any light. I'm here, waiting for you.

Kati plunged on towards a spot in the center of her mental field of view, the spot of light there growing, and growing, filling her vision, and then she was there, diving into it, and beyond- To a place nearly dark, but filled with a s.h.i.+mmering curtain of the deepest purple she'd ever seen, and suddenly the emerald eyes of Mandughai were there, blazing before her.

Welcome to my world, Kati, for I have not come to you. You have come to me, and I have long awaited a visitor to this place of mine. You are beyond the stars, Kati. There is no time, or s.p.a.ce here. This is the place from which all the known universe came in the very beginning. It is a place of light, of great energy. It is the place of creation for our universe, and many more. As you grow in strength, I will show you how to travel here, and how to re-enter the universe at any point you choose, for this place of light is everywhere within it. And you will travel at infinite speed.

The eyes of Mandughai were bright against the deep, swirling purple of her world, and Kati was mesmerized by the sight. So the question that came to her mind, somehow, seemed childish.

Will I ever see your face?

The time for that will come. Now I will guide you back.

A purple flash, and then the twinkling stars were back, Mandughai's beautiful eyes with them.

We've had a nice visit, Mengmoshu. You should be proud.

I am, First Mother.

Mengmoshu! You're here with us!

I waited for you, Kati. You've gone beyond where I can go. But I'm always here.

I know that.