The Comedies of Terence Part 42

PAR. That's true.

Your pardon, Sir, I should have told that first.

--Phaedria, Sir, bought a certain Eunuch, as A present to send her.

LACHES. Her!--Her! whom?

PAR. Thais.

LACHES. Bought? I'm undone! at what price?

PAR. Twenty Minae.

LACHES. I'm ruin'd.

PAR. And then Chaerea's fall'n in love With a young music-girl.

LACHES. How! what! in love!

Knows he already what a harlot is?

Has he stol'n into town? More plagues on plagues.

PAR. Nay, Sir! don't look on me! it was not done By my advice.

LACHES. Leave prating of yourself.

As for you, rascal, if I live--But first Whatever has befallen, tell me, quick!

PAR. Chaerea was carried thither for the Eunuch.

LACHES. He for the Eunuch!

PAR. Yes: since when, within They've seiz'd and bound him for a ravisher.

LACHES. Confusion!

PAR. See the impudence of harlots!

LACHES. Is there aught else of evil or misfortune You have not told me yet?

PAR. You know the whole.

LACHES. Then why do I delay to rush in on them?

(_Exit._

PAR. There is no doubt but I shall smart for this.

But since I was oblig'd to 't, I rejoice That I shall make these strumpets suffer too: For our old gentleman has long desir'd Some cause to punish them; and now he has it.

[Changes:

_Harper_ --But is not that our Parmeno? 'Tis he For certain.--Whom d'ye wait for, Parmeno _Colman 1768_ --But is not that our Parmeno? 'Tis he.

Parmeno, who is it you're waiting for

_Harper_ PAR. First, Sir, I'd have you think, for so it is _Colman 1768_ PAR. First be persuaded, Sir,--for that's the case

_Harper_ --Phaedria, Sir, bought a certain Eunuch, as A present to send her.

LACHES. Her!--Her! whom?

PAR. Thais.

_Colman 1768_ --Phaedria lately bought a certain Eunuch By way of present to this gentlewoman.

LACHES. What gentlewoman, sirrah?

PAR. Madam Thais.

_Harper_ Has he stol'n into town? More plagues on plagues.

_Colman 1768_ Is he in town? misfortune on misfortune!

LACHES. Confusion!

_1768 edition has question mark_]

SCENE VII.

_Enter PYTHIAS; PARMENO at a distance._

PYTH. Well! I was ne'er more pleas'd in all my life Than when I saw th' old man come blund'ring in.

I had the jest alone; for I alone Knew what he was afraid of.

PAR. Hey! what now?

PYTH. I'm now come forth t' encounter Parmeno.

Where is he?

PAR. She seeks me.

PYTH. Oh, there he is.

I'll go up to him.

PAR. Well, fool, what's the matter? (_PYTHIAS laughs._) What would you? what d'ye laugh at? Hey! what still?

PYTH. Oh, I shall die: I'm horribly fatigu'd With laughing at you. (_Laughing heartily._)

PAR. Why so? pray!

PYTH. Why so? (_Laughing._) I ne'er saw, ne'er shall see, a greater fool.

Oh, it's impossible to tell what sport You've made within.--I swear, I always thought That you had been a shrewd, sharp, cunning fellow.

What! to believe directly what I told you!

Or was you p.r.i.c.k'd in conscience for the sin The young man had committed through your means, That you must after tell his father of him?

How d'ye suppose he felt when old gray-beard Surpris'd him in that habit?--What! you find That you're undone. (_Laughing heartily._)

PAR. What's this, impertinence?

Was it a lie you told me? D'ye laugh still?

Is't such a jest to make fools of us, hag?

PYTH. Delightful! (_Laughing._)