The Comedies of Terence Part 84

I'll burn her up, and make her black as coal.

MICIO. Right! now you're wise.--And then I'd make my son Go to bed to her, though against his will.

DEM. D'ye laugh at me? how happy in your temper!

I feel----

MICIO. Ah! that again?

DEM. I've done.

MICIO. In then!

And let us suit our humor to the time. (_Exeunt._

[Changes:

_Harper_ By which you may conjecture easily, That when two persons do the self-same thing, It oftentimes falls out that in the one 'Tis criminal, in t'other 'tis not so: _Colman 1768_ By which you may conjecture of men's minds; And when two persons do the self-same thing, May oftentimes p.r.o.nounce, that in the one 'Tis dangerous, in t'other 'tis not so]

ACT THE FIFTH.

SCENE I.

_DEMEA alone._

Never did man lay down so fair a plan, So wise a rule of life, but fortune, age, Or long experience made some change in it; And taught him that those things he thought he knew He did not know, and what he held as best, In practice he threw by. The very thing That happens to myself. For that hard life Which I have ever led, my race near run, Now in the last stage, I renounce: and why?

But that by dear experience I've been told, There's nothing so advantages a man As mildness and complacency. Of this My brother and myself are living proofs: He always led an easy, cheerful life; Good-humor'd, mild, offending n.o.body, Smiling on all; a jovial bachelor, His whole expenses centred in himself.

I, on the contrary, rough, rigid, cross, Saving, morose, and thrifty, took a wife: --What miseries did marriage bring!--had children; --A new uneasiness!--and then besides, Striving all ways to make a fortune for them, I have worn out my prime of life and health: And now, my course near finish'd, what return Do I receive for all my toil? Their hate.

Meanwhile my brother, without any care, Reaps all a father's comforts. Him they love, Me they avoid: to him they open all Their secret counsels; doat on him; and both Repair to him; while I am quite forsaken.

His life they pray for, but expect my death.

Thus those, brought up by my exceeding labor, He, at a small expense, has made his own: The care all mine, and all the pleasure his.

--Well then, let me endeavor in my turn To teach my tongue civility, to give With open-handed generosity, Since I am challeng'd to't!--and let me too Obtain the love and reverence of my children!

And if 'tis bought by bounty and indulgence, I will not be behind-hand.--Cash will fail: What's that to me, who am the eldest born?

SCENE II.

_Enter SYRUS._

SYRUS. Oh Sir! your brother has dispatch'd me to you To beg you'd not go further off.

DEM. Who's there?---- What, honest Syrus! save you: how is't with you?

How goes it?

SYRUS. Very well, Sir.

DEM. (_aside._) Excellent!

Now for the first time, I, against my nature, Have added these three phrases, "Honest Syrus!---- How is't?--How goes it?"-- (_To SYRUS._) You have prov'd yourself A worthy servant. I'll reward you for it.

SYRUS. I thank you, Sir.

DEM. I will, I promise you; And you shall be convinc'd on't very soon.

SCENE III.

_Enter GETA._

GETA (_to SOSTRATA within_). Madam, I'm going to look after them, That they may call the bride immediately.

--But here is Demea. Save you!

DEM. Oh! your name?

GETA. Geta, Sir.

DEM. Geta, I this day have found you To be a fellow of uncommon worth: For sure that servant's faith is well approv'd Who holds his master's interest at heart, As I perceiv'd that you did, Geta! wherefore, Soon as occasion offers, I'll reward you.

--I am endeavoring to be affable, And not without success. (_Aside._)

GETA. 'Tis kind in you To think of your poor slave, Sir.

DEM. (_aside._) First of all I court the mob, and win them by degrees.

SCENE IV.

_Enter aeSCHINUS._

aeSCH. They murder me with their delays; and while They lavish all this pomp upon the nuptials, They waste the livelong day in preparation.

DEM. How does my son?

aeSCH. My father! are you here?

DEM. Aye, by affection, and by blood your father, Who love you better than my eyes.--But why Do you not call the bride?

aeSCH. 'Tis what I long for: But wait the music and the singers.

DEM. Pshaw!

Will you for once be rul'd by an old fellow?

aeSCH. Well?

DEM. Ne'er mind singers, company, lights, music; But tell them to throw down the garden-wall, As soon as possible. Convey the bride That way, and lay both houses into one.

Bring too the mother, and whole family, Over to us.

aeSCH. I will. O charming father!