Tempt My Heart Part 18

The pain in her eyes, when she looks at me while trying to breathe through her contraction, is hard to swallow. I feel like an a.s.shole right now, but my head is all over the place. I asked her a million times after she told me she was pregnant if there was any chance this baby was mine. She told me over and over again, no... that she and Brock never used protection. She said she was one hundred percent positive it was his and gave me this whole spiel about them being in love.

I guess the little fairytale she pictured didn't play out like she thought it would if he's getting drunk in a bar somewhere while she's in labor, and he's trying to pa.s.s the kid onto me.

"You're such an a.s.shole, Jordon. I'm here getting ready to give birth, and you're only worrying about your stupid girlfriend. Let me guess, you brought that b.i.t.c.h here with you?"

What the f.u.c.k?!

Raking my fingers through my hair, I fist a hand full and tug on it. I try to breathe and keep my anger at bay; the last thing I need is to make a scene here in the hospital.

My agent would kick my a.s.s.

Speaking of, I still need to call my agent and tell her about this situation. I wouldn't put it past Kinsley to try and sell this to the tabloids for a few grand.

"Brittan is here in the waiting room, to be exact, because she's my girlfriend. When people love each other, they stand by your side supporting you!" My words come out clipped and laced with anger. It is taking every ounce of strength I have to keep my voice down right now.

The second I say 'love' my body goes numb, and Kinsley's face drops.

I can't believe I just admitted out loud that I'm in love with Brittan to f.u.c.king Kinsley before I even said it to her.

"How cute! Well, we'll see if she's still standing by your side once our baby is here." She's trying to hide it, but my words have shaken her to the core. I can hear the anger and jealousy in her voice. She has this fantasy that everything is going to play out like she wants it, but in reality it isn't.

The cold hard truth will sink in whether she wants it to or not.

This baby will not make us a family.

If it is mine, I'll get visitation and be in its life, but we will not be getting back together.

Before I can say anything, a nurse comes in along with Kinsley's mother and sister.

Just great.

"Hi, Kinsley. How are your contractions?" The nurse asks as she looks over the rolls of paper coming out of the machines attached to Kinsley's belly.

I can feel her mother's eyes on me, and it's making me uneasy. I can't help but feel my anxiety with this whole situation intensify the second she walked through the door.

"I just had one, it was about a six. Do you think I'll be able to get the epidural soon?" The entire time Kinsley is talking to the nurse I keep my eyes on my phone while I text a quick message to Brock telling the f.u.c.ker to get his a.s.s down here right now. I just hope he doesn't ignore it. I know if it were me, I'd hate myself for the rest of my life if I missed the birth of my child due to my being a stubborn SOB.

"We'll check your cervix and see, okay?" The nurse says stepping between Kinsley's legs and pulling gloves on.

Shoving my phone back in my pocket, I lift my eyes and lock onto Kinsley's mothers.

"Pamela." Is all I say nodding my head before turning towards her sister, "Abby."

"Hey." Is all Abby says before stepping beside Kinsley and talking to her quietly.

This is the most awkward situation I've ever been in.

"Jordon." Her mother says suddenly, with softness in her voice.

Welcome to the f.u.c.king Twilight Zone.

"We're so thrilled you were able to make it with your busy schedule, and all. The doctor thinks our little princess will be here in a matter of hours."

Biting my tongue and holding back what I'd really like to say to her, I just nod my head. Turning to Kinsley I lean down beside her and whisper in her ear, "I'm going back out to the waiting room. When the baby is ready to be born let me know. Until then, I will be out there with Brittan. I sent a text to Brock, if he has any brains in that head of his he'll get his a.s.s down here. You and I both know this baby isn't mine. I hope you understand the s.h.i.+t storm you're stirring up by lying about this. You're messing with people's lives, Kinsley."

Before she can even try to argue with me I storm out of the room. If I'm in there one more second, I'm going to lose my f.u.c.king mind. The second her mother acted like my best f.u.c.king friend I knew Brittan was right. This is all about money.

What they don't understand is I'm no idiot. The second that baby is born we're having a paternity test done. I will prove what I already know to be true.

This baby is not mine.

Brittan I cannot believe this is happening.

We go from having such a wonderful day to coming to the hospital in the middle of the night because Jordon's ex-girlfriend is in labor and claiming the baby is his.

He swore to me he's not the father, but I still can't help but be shaken up and scared. No matter what happens I will stay by Jordon's side. I never thought it would be possible to ever fall in love again, and I'm not giving that up. Over the last few months, things between Jordon and I have slowly changed from friends.h.i.+p to what I now know is love.

It's been hard coming to terms with the fact that I have to let Cane go, but slowly, with each pa.s.sing day I've spent with Jordon, it gets easier. I still listen to his voicemails from time to time, and when I do, I cry tears of joy instead of tears of sadness. I'm able to reflect back on my happy memories of Cane and even share some of them with Jordon.

That is one of the many reason's I love Jordon. He is so respectful of my past and my love for Cane. He understands a part of me will also belong to Cane, but the other part of me belongs to him.

I've wanted to tell Jordon but just can't seem to find the words. I sing in front of thousands of people and never get stage fright, but I get cold feet every time I try to tell Jordon three simple words.

I feel like I'm finally in a good place emotionally, and a lot of that has to do with Jordon. I'm sober. I'm happy, and I look forward to the future now. Whatever this Kinsley girl is hoping to accomplish, I will make sure it doesn't happen. I'm stronger now and will fight for Jordon.

We've been sitting in the waiting room for six hours now, and my b.u.t.t is officially broken. d.a.m.n it to h.e.l.l with these uncomfortable a.s.s hospital chairs. I'm glad I opted to wear yoga pants and UGG boots instead of getting fully dressed this morning. Now I'm able to curl up and lie on Jordon's chest and be comfortable.

Well as comfortable as I can, considering we're sitting on the worlds most uncomfortable chairs and have our nerves on edge as we sit here and wait.

The coffee here tastes like mud, so I've offered to take Jordon's car down the street to get us some. Thank G.o.d not too many people are out and about at six a.m., so I was able to go unnoticed.

The last thing we need is the press catching wind of this. I don't want that girl getting one second of fame from the lies she's spewing.

It's a little after eight-thirty in the morning, and Jordon is on the phone with his agent. He's a total mess right now. I told him he should call his parents, but he doesn't want to get them involved. He doesn't want to have them come down here and bond with a baby that he knows in his heart isn't his.

It's going to be the longest three days of his life while we wait for the DNA results. His attorney informed us we can have a saliva test done on Jordan and the baby, as soon as she's born. We should have the results within three days.

Just as Jordon is getting off the phone, it alerts him of a new message.

"Who is it?" I ask nervously, because, by the look on his face; he doesn't seem too thrilled.

Dropping his head into his hands, he shakes it and shows me the text message with a link to Perez Hilton's website.

Breaking News! Jordon Valentine is going to be a daddy! And it isn't with his rocker girlfriend, Brittan, the lead singer to the rock group Beyond Redemption! An anonymous source confirmed to us his ex-girlfriend Kinsley Jefferson is in labor right now at Mercer Hospital in Chicago. Does this mean the end to Rock & Roll's favorite new couple already?

"Who the f.u.c.k leaked this?!" I shout jumping to my feet and s.n.a.t.c.hing the phone out of his hand.

Tossing his head back and hitting it roughly against the wall three times, Jordon slides his hand over his face as he tries to keep his anger at bay.

"Either Kinsley did this or one of her stupid f.u.c.king friends. I know for d.a.m.n sure it wasn't a nurse in here, unless they're looking for a f.u.c.king lawsuit."

I can't believe it. She hasn't even given birth yet, and the story is already out to the press. Now it's going to spread like wildfire.

"You need to call your agent back and tell her that you want to make a statement to the press. We need to quash this before it gets out of control." I tell him as the business side of me takes over.

This is how I cope with all the dilemmas that have come my way since losing Cane. I dive into business mode and focus on nothing but work. It's a great distraction, and right now that's exactly what Jordon and I both need. It won't be long before our phones will be blowing up with messages.

Of course her boyfriend or ex-boyfriend - whatever the h.e.l.l he is, hasn't come to the hospital. He texted Jordon back at almost three in the morning saying he wasn't coming. I thought for sure Jordon was going to get in the car, drive to the guy's house and drag his f.u.c.king a.s.s here.

He starts typing away on his phone, so I climb up onto my knees, and peer over his shoulder; he's pulling up Facebook and goes to Kinsley's page. I didn't even know they were still friends after breaking up.

"She's still your friend on Facebook?" I ask with annoyance in my voice. I can't help but get irritated that he would keep an ex on there.

My page is reserved for friends only. I can't say ex's because I don't consider my random hook-ups ex's, but they were people I didn't know and never planned on seeing again.

Never looking up at me, he answers with his voice low, raspy and seething with anger, "I never thought of removing her because we tried to stay friends. It's a good thing, because now I can screenshot the s.h.i.+t she's posting." Holding the phone up so I can see better, he shows me her recent posts.

"That conniving little b.i.t.c.h!" I spit out as I s.n.a.t.c.h it out of his hand and scroll through.

She's been posting since last night about her labor and chatting back and forth with friends. She wrote a status that said she was getting her epidural, and was so relieved that Jordon is here by her side as they wait to meet their baby girl.

Then a few friends commented asking about the Brock guy Jordon told me about. She proceeded to go on and on about how she made a huge mistake breaking up with Jordon. She's almost positive the baby is Jordan's, and that's why Brock isn't here at the hospital. She hopes that Jordon and she can get back together to raise their daughter. A few asked about me, and she brushed them off by saying I was some fling. That Jordon will not hesitate to toss me aside to be with her.

"You made it very clear to her to not say anything until after you got your DNA results back. The chances you are the father are very f.u.c.king slim. A condom may not be one-hundred percent safe, but it sure as h.e.l.l makes the odds that it's this Brock guy's a lot higher than yours. Especially since they never used anything."

Taking his phone back, Jordon wraps his arm around me, pulling me against him and presses a soft kiss to my lips. He instantly causes my body to relax, and calm to settle over me.

Leaving my lips aching for more, he leans back against the chair and affectionately slides his hand into my hair, "We'll get through this. Do not, for one second, let any of the things she said get to you. I love you, Brittan. Even if this baby turns out to be mine, I'll never leave your side. I want you and only you."

Holy s.h.i.+t!

He just said he loves me.

My heart is racing, and my stomach is filled with a million fluttering b.u.t.terflies.

I can't fight the tears filling my eyes; I am so d.a.m.n emotional with all of this going on.

I fight to keep my emotions at bay. Blinking back the tears, I run my hands over Jordon's p.r.i.c.kly stubble and get lost in his intense stare. His eyes are a s.h.i.+mmering bright blue and so full of emotion. Just gazing into them makes my heart stammer against my chest and my head spin.

"I love you, too." My words come out in barely a whisper. I find the strength to speak the three words I've only ever said to one other person. I'm terrified to admit I love Jordon. Now that we've said those three words out loud, there's no turning back. "She underestimates me, and that's her worst mistake. I will not allow her to use you or me to make money off of us. I will make d.a.m.n sure if the DNA results come back and you are not the father of that baby that she gets slapped with a lawsuit. This should've been kept private between her, you and that Brock guy until you all know, without a doubt, who the father of this baby is. She's just making herself look like trash by doing this."

A smile spreads across Jordon's face revealing a glimmer of that c.o.c.ky a.s.shole I met three months ago who shook my world and changed everything. I will do whatever it takes to protect him and what we have together.

"I'm sorry this is how I finally told you I love you, Brittan. I had it all planned out, with a nice dinner for just the two of us. I wanted the moment to be perfect." He says with sadness and regret in this voice.

Immediately, I shake my head no and take his hands in mine, "This was perfect. I would rather you tell me in the heat of the moment when it feels real and amazing, instead of it being staged. I've wanted for weeks to tell you, but I just couldn't find the strength to do it. I want you to understand when I tell you I love you; I mean it with everything that's inside of me. I truly do love you."

Lacing my hand with his, Jordon presses a kiss to my knuckles before getting back to business and calling his agent again. We want to have his publicist make an official statement before this blows up into something so big it's impossible to try and fix.

The next three hours crawl by. I read every magazine in the waiting room before finally getting on my Kindle app and reading a book. I found it hard to concentrate, and had to keep re-reading the same paragraph five times because I couldn't focus. My head has a million thoughts buzzing around inside of it making it impossible to do anything, but stress out.

My mind is wondering between everything from Kinsley to thoughts of Cane. I can't help but wonder what he's thinking. Is he okay with me opening myself up to loving someone else? Does he approve of Jordon? Will loving Jordon cause me to forget about Cane? I never want to forget him or what we shared. But I also don't want me holding onto my love for Cane to hold me back from being happy with Jordon.

It's all so overwhelming; I can barely think straight. My mind is on overdrive right now, and we still have dinner tonight with Jordon's family. Now meeting them with this mess going on is scaring the s.h.i.+t out of me. I don't know how they feel about Kinsley, and I wonder if they'll push Jordon to be with her if he is the father.

Just as Jordon is walking back into the waiting room with chips from the vending machine, a nurse comes out in scrubs covered in little pink and blue baby footprints. With a sympathetic smile, she approaches Jordon.

"Mr. Valentine, Kinsley just gave birth to a beautiful baby girl. If you'd like to see her, you can come into the room now. Kinsley is resting, and the baby is asleep in her room."

My body goes numb as Jordon takes my hand and pulls me out of the chair, "I'll go in, but my girlfriend is coming too. This isn't just affecting me; it's affecting her also."

No...no...no. I cannot meet that woman, or I may cause bodily harm to her, just giving birth or not.

"That's fine." The nurse gives me a sympathetic smile, which makes my stomach twist into knots. I can only imagine what is going through her head with all of this.

Thank G.o.d the nurses have all been extremely nice and understanding with all of this. A few asked for autographs, and I could tell they were nervous that we'd say no because of everything going on. But Jordon and I put on our professional faces and signed away on some notepads.

Ignoring the panic on my face, Jordon pulls me alongside him towards Kinsley and the baby.

I don't know if I can do this.

I swear each step feels like an eternity with my heart beating like a snare drum so loudly it's echoing in my ears.

The second we enter the room Kinsley's face goes from happy when she sees Jordon, to full on p.i.s.sed the f.u.c.k off when they land on me.

"Why the h.e.l.l did you bring her in here, Jordon?!" Kinsley screeches as her head snaps from me back to him.

Her words falter my steps. I just stand there in the doorway taking her in. She's very pretty, even after just giving birth. I guess I wouldn't expect anything less. Of course, Jordon's ex would be gorgeous.

She looks to be about my height, but it's hard to tell since she's sitting in bed. She has her bleach blonde hair pulled up in a messy bun on top of her head with her bangs brushed off to the side. She has big green eyes that look tired, which is understandable after going through almost ten hours of labor.

Jordon's voice breaks me out of my stunned state, "She's my girlfriend. If this baby is mine she'll be a part of her life, so she deserves to be in here just as much as I do."

Kinsley's jaw drops and just as quickly as it fell open; she snaps it back closed, re-composing herself, "Whatever. She can stay in here, but she will not be touching my baby." The vile tone in her voices makes it sound like I've got the f.u.c.king plague or something!

Putting my hands up in the air, I answer before Jordon can, "I am only here to support Jordon. I have no intention of holding your baby. So you can drop the evil b.i.t.c.h act. But if this baby is his, you can bet your uptight a.s.s I will be holding that baby. I will be caring for her every time Jordon has her. Your fantasy of you two getting back together is just that...a fantasy. It isn't happening. You seem like a sweet girl, but you need to take a step back and look at all of this from another perspective. You're a mother now, and you need to start acting and thinking like one. Your child is a precious gift, not some bargaining chip or meal ticket to a life full of glitz and glamor."

Jordon flashes me a small smile, and squeezes my hand a little tighter before letting go so he can see the baby.

"You don't know me or Jordon. We were happy before he decided to run off and play Rock Star. I'm sorry I felt neglected and turned to another man so I could feel loved. It wasn't fun watching him at performances, flirting with every hot girl who batted her eyes at him. So before you decide to judge me, you should take a step back and see the bigger picture." Kinsley says in a tone that only makes me want to smack the s.h.i.+t out of her.

For a second, I feel sorry for this girl, but that sympathy soon fades away. "If you were unhappy, you should've broken things off with Jordon before jumping into this Brock guy's bed. You've had nine months to find out who this baby's daddy is. I find it odd that for months, you told Jordon that you were certain Brock was the father. Then the minute Jordon's band takes off you're changing your story and now claiming he may be the father. If you really thought that, you would've done a DNA test before your baby arrived. You are being selfish and ruining a moment that should be precious and special. I feel bad for Brock because if he is the father, all your foolish behavior has done is deprived him of witnessing the birth of his daughter."

Walking over to Jordon, I gaze down inside the ba.s.sinet where a tiny, rosy cheeked baby girl lays with a pink hat on. She is a beautiful baby who was born into a world full of chaos. My heart breaks for her.

I press my mouth to Jordon's ear, "I'm going to get some air. If you need me just send me a text."

Jordon eyes turn sad, and I noticed the look of concern on his face. He's worried about how this is affecting me. I would be lying if I said it wasn't getting to me.