The Gold of Chickaree Part 45

'There is no need to talk about it, if it is ever to be done,' said Dane smiling. 'If you will think about it?which I believe you never do, you will perceive that unless we are to be separated all our lives, we must some time or other be married. And the best way with anything you are afraid of, is to do it, and have it over!'

He had smiled, and his accent was very winning; but he grew grave again, and stood with folded arms looking at Wych Hazel.

Even then he would not use persuasions; he would not have her against her will; but he watched her anxiously. If she refused him now, it might be long before he brought up the subject again. He would not tell her that, either; he left her free; and waited to see how the delicate balances of her mind would turn. But he sighed a little as she hesitated, and then smiled again as he spoke; a smile very frank and sweet.

'Be brave, Hazel! If you are ever going to trust me, you may as well do it at once.'

Hazel turned away and sat down on her foot-cus.h.i.+on, and buried her face in her hands. Was she ever to be done with fights and perplexities? was she ever to be quietly happy, like other people?

Last night she had been sober for very joy, at first; and now after all those long, bitter two months, there was no sweet suns.h.i.+ne to follow. For being married did not look at all sweet to Hazel: it was true, she had hardly thought of it at all. Well, she could do as she pleased. Yes,?but she knew, without seeing, the disappointment to somebody else. That she did not quite understand it, did not hide the fact. And can a woman who loves, ever really prefer her own pleasure? She looked up with even a pale face, and the wet eyelashes that so few people had ever seen.

'You do not remember'?she said. 'You do not seem to understand!'

'You are the shyest bird that ever flew without wings!' said Dane drawing another low seat to her side. 'I understand wet eyes too well. I remember only that I have been waiting a year and half for you. But if I wait all my life, Hazel, I will not have you at such cost as that. If your heart is not as mine,?that it would be our happiness to be together,?I will go back to my work and wait another six months.'

He spoke gently and gravely, and stooped as he spoke to kiss the wet eyes.

'Statements'?said the girl, in an impatient tone which yet faltered and broke before it got through.

'You shall make the statements,' said Dane, getting her hand in his, and holding it with that gentle, firm clasp which, in some hands, expresses so much; soothing and steadying and sympathizing, and claiming too; all at once. 'What is the matter, my little Wych?'

Hazel paused, summoning her courage; enforcing quiet.

'It is no use to bring up such things,' she said, speaking very slowly. 'To talk of trust?and?liking to be together?mixing them up with 'if' and 'but.' Unless I have proved all that, I never can. But there are a great many reasons,?and you would call them fudge.

And I know they are not fudge. And if you were to knock them down fifty times, they would rise up, fresh and strong as ever, after all.'

'I shall not play at that game of ten-pins. Do you think in your conscience I have any reasons?'

'Something that goes by the name, I daresay,' said Hazel sedately.

'But it is all different on your side,?you wait, or you hurry, just which you choose; and you are free through the one and through the other, and after both.'

'Free? As a man whose heart is chained, and whose hands are fettered. Was I free to marry you a year ago? or even to speak my thought? Am I 'free' now, Hazel?'

She half laughed.

'How would you like to cut short the one time of your life when you had a little power, even to say no? And?Mr. Rollo?you have been away two months. And October was very short.'?The girlish voice grew low and timid: Hazel knew that her arguments were strong only to her.

Dane lifted to his lips the little fingers he held.

'And so you have made up your mind that your power will be at an end when you are married? Am I going to love you less??or will you love me less?'

'I did not mean power over you,' said Hazel; 'I meant independent power. And I have not much now, except when you happen not to care about using your own. As last night at tea.'

Dane could not help laughing a little again, but below that he was desperately serious.

'I will not have you troubled,' he said. 'Rather than that, I will go back and wait for you as Jacob did for Rachel; though I will not emulate his estimate of time, the circ.u.mstances being not similar.

But, Hazel, there is something more to be thought of, which we have not touched. I cannot have you living alone here as you have been for the last three weeks or more.'

'Mr. Falkirk may be back. And you will be near enough to exercise any amount of supervision. And I will be good. If I can!'

'Mr. Falkirk writes that he may be detained indefinitely. And at twelve miles off, I am quite too far to be an efficient protector.

Winter days would give me only short and late visits to Chickaree, except occasionally. And you know how it has been, Wych, since and before Mr. Falkirk went away; it is not fitting that you should be alone as you are; and exposed? As your guardian, I cannot let this go on any longer.'

It fell to Dingee just then, to appear as a witness for the plaintiff.

He came in, bearing a handful of wonderful hot-house flowers and a card.

'I done told him you was engaged?des'pate!?Miss Hazel,' said Dingee,?'and he beg for jes' three minutes.'

'Say I cannot possibly give him three minutes!'?Hazel's brows were as near a frown as they could come.

'Then he say, tomorrer,' pleaded Dingee. 'Any hour Miss Kennedy please. Three minutes, one minute. He done set out for home, Miss Hazel.'

'I hope he will have a short, safe pa.s.sage,' said Hazel: 'say that.

And that I cannot see him either to-night or to-morrow or any day before he goes. And, Dingee!?not a word more or less!'?She waited till the boy was out of sight, and then flung the flowers from where she sat full into the fire.

If there was not a frown on Rollo's brow, there was a quiet set of the lips which told as much. But he waited. Knowing well that it made against her cause, but knowing too that it was his right, Hazel turned and laid the card in his hand: it was Sir Henry Crofton's. The frown came then, and the card was crumpled up in Rollo's hand and followed the flowers.

'Well, Hazel?' he said. 'You must feel the justice of what I said just now. There are only two remedies that I know. One of these you startle at. The other, is that you should take up your abode at Dr.

Maryland's for the winter.'

'I could not do that!' she said hastily. 'But?Olaf?I have tried to do just right all these weeks. And if you think I do not know what discretion means, you can ask Mrs. Byw.a.n.k.'

'I do not need to ask anybody for testimony concerning you, in that or any other respect. It is no question of discretion; except in your guardians; and that forbids them to leave you so.'

'Mr. Falkirk is not Mr. Falkirk!' Hazel broke out. 'He is all changed.'

Rollo left this statement to take care of itself.

'What do you think we had best do?' he asked cheerfully, after a minute. 'I will not tease you and hurry you?Shall I leave the question to be settled by a note from you, when you have thought it over? If you choose to go to Dr. Maryland's, I will make the necessary arrangements. If you can make up your mind to go with me, we'll arrange that. What do you say?'

'But you said you were going next week!?'

'I must. The day after Christmas. I wait to see these apples and pounds of tea safe home first. Then we will go and take care of New Year.'

Wych Hazel leaned her head down in her hands again. How easily he talked of it!?this matter that her whole mind hardly found room for. Yet she knew, better than he did,?better than she liked to tell him,?that it was not the thing for her to live there alone.

Even discretion could not hinder what Mrs. Byw.a.n.k called "a raid," at home; nor keep her from being met and followed and waited on whenever she ventured out. But she could not live at Dr.

Maryland's. To the tips of her fingers, Hazel knew that she should fly at the end of a week there?up the chimney, if no other way appeared. Prim's calm advice, and Mrs. Coles' sharp watch; even the good doctor's easy discussion of her and her affairs; could not be borne. She tried to smother the sigh that came up from the depths of her heart, but enough escaped to betray the trouble and perplexity.

'Shall I leave it?' said Dane very gently, though he on his part was swallowing deep mortification, not hindered by the fact that he did understand and feel for Wych Hazel's distress, in some measure.

'Shall I leave it? and you will write to me?'

'What about?' said the girl quickly. 'As you put it, I have no choice.

Because I will not go to Dr. Maryland's. Neither now?nor ever?

for safe keeping.'

'I do not want you to marry me just for safe keeping,' Dane said with a half smile. 'How would _you_ put it, Hazel? Would you like to take time to think about it?'

'But there is no time to take!?And thinking for ever will not make two alternatives out of one.'?So thought Hazel to herself, but the words did not come out. She sat resting her cheek on her hand, studying this last hopeless fact; then by way of facing all her difficulties at once, looked up at her companion. Not meeting his eyes exactly,?a wistful, examining gaze; trying to strengthen her courage with the sight of what?after all?she loved best in all the world. For a second. Then hastily, as if still doubting her own resolution, she put out her hand and laid it timidly on his. Dane did not shew her the leap his heart made; and she could not see the flush that mounted to his brow. He made no demonstrations whatever, except to the hand which had come to him appealing in its surrender, and those were outwardly very quiet. And then, clasping the hand, he sat quite still; waiting to let Wych Hazel grow calm, if that could be, and ready for further talk.

Perhaps it was well, however (for a young lady of her wayward moods and tenses) that the next thing she had to do was to jump up and receive Dr. Arthur, who had come by appointment to dine at Chickaree. Dinner followed presently, and thus hostess cares and responsibilities for a time took the first place. But so grave a young hostess at the head of that table was a new thing. She did not forget one of her smallest gracious duties and offices; and she talked?at least as much as sometimes; but her face kept its soberness. The eyes did not flash and the lips did not curl. Dr. Arthur gave her a keen glance once or twice, at first; but finding a certain complement to all this in the face at the foot of the table, he turned at least his outward attention to other matters.