The Colloquies of Erasmus Part 103

_Fa._ Yes, I would.

_Eu._ But what if he should give you one of common Gla.s.s, would you give him the like Thanks? But I'm afraid instead of comforting you, by this Discourse, I should make you uneasy.

_Fa._ Nay, a _Fabulla_ can be in no Danger of being hurt by a Fable. I have lain in now almost a Month, and I am strong enough for a Match at Wrestling.

_Eu._ Why don't you get out of your Bed then?

_Fa._ The King has forbid me.

_Eu._ What King?

_Fa._ Nay a Tyrant rather.

_Eu._ What Tyrant prithee?

_Fa._ I'll tell you in one Syllable. Custom (_Mos_).

_Eu._ Alas! How many Things does that Tyrant exact beyond the Bounds of Equity? But let us go on to talk of our Crystal and our common Gla.s.s.

_Fa._ I believe you judge, that a Male is naturally more excellent and strong than a Female.

_Eu._ I believe they are.

_Fa._ That is Mens Opinion. But are Men any Thing longer-liv'd than Women? Are they free from Distempers?

_Eu._ No, but in the general they are stronger.

_Fa._ But then they themselves are excell'd by Camels in Strength.

_Eu._ But besides, the Male was created first.

_Fa._ So was _Adam_ before _Christ_. Artists use to be most exquisite in their later Performances.

_Eu._ But G.o.d put the Woman under Subjection to the Man.

_Fa._ It does not follow of Consequence, that he is the better because he commands, he subjects her as a Wife, and not purely as a Woman; and besides that he so puts the Wife under Subjection, that tho' they have each of them Power over the other, he will have the Woman to be obedient to the Man, not as to the more excellent, but to the more fierce Person.

Tell me, _Eutrapelus_, which is the weaker Person, he that yields to another, or he that is yielded to?

_Eu._ I'll grant you that, if you will explain to me, what Paul meant when he wrote to the _Corinthians_, that _Christ was the Head of the Man, and Man the Head of the Woman;_ and again, when he said, that _a Man was the Image and Glory of G.o.d, and a Woman the Glory of the Man._

_Fa._ Well! I'll resolve you that, if you answer me this Question, Whether or no, it is given to Men alone, to be the Members of Christ?

_Eu._ G.o.d forbid, that is given to all Men and Women too by Faith.

_Fa._ How comes it about then, that when there is but one Head, it should not be common to all the Members? And besides that, since G.o.d made Man in his own Image, whether did he express this Image in the Shape of his Body, or the Endowments of his Mind?

_Eu._ In the Endowments of his Mind.

_Fa._ Well, and I pray what have Men in these more excellent than we have? In both s.e.xes, there are many Drunkennesses, Brawls, Fightings, Murders, Wars, Rapines, and Adulteries.

_Eu._ But we Men alone fight for our Country.

_Fa._ And you Men often desert from your Colours, and run away like Cowards; and it is not always for the Sake of your Country, that you leave your Wives and Children, but for the Sake of a little nasty Pay; and, worse than Fencers at the Bear-Garden, you deliver up your Bodies to a slavish Necessity of being killed, or yourselves killing others.

And now after all your Boasting of your warlike Prowess, there is none of you all, but if you had once experienced what it is to bring a Child into the World, would rather be placed ten Times in the Front of a Battle, than undergo once what we must so often. An Army does not always fight, and when it does, the whole Army is not always engaged. Such as you are set in the main Body, others are kept for Bodies of Reserve, and some are safely posted in the Rear; and lastly, many save themselves by surrendring, and some by running away. We are obliged to encounter Death, Hand to Hand.

_Eu._ I have heard these Stories before now; but the Question is, Whether they are true or not?

_Fa._ Too true.

_Eu._ Well then, _Fabulla_, would you have me persuade your Husband never to touch you more? For if so, you'll be secure from that Danger.

_Fa._ In Truth, there is nothing in the World I am more desirious of, if you were able to effect it.

_Eu._ If I do persuade him to it, what shall I have for my Pains?

_Fa._ I'll present you with half a Score dry'd Neats-Tongues.

_Eu._ I had rather have them than the Tongues of ten Nightingales. Well, I don't dislike the Condition, but we won't make the Bargain obligatory, before we have agreed on the Articles.

_Fa._ And if you please, you may add any other Article.

_Eu._ That shall be according as you are in the Mind after your Month is up.

_Fa._ But why not according as I am in the Mind now?

_Eu._ Why, I'll tell you, because I am afraid you will not be in the same Mind then; and so you would have double Wages to pay, and I double Work to do, of persuading and dissuading him.

_Fa._ Well, let it be as you will then. But come on, shew me why the Man is better than the Woman.

_Eu._ I perceive you have a Mind to engage with me in Discourse, but I think it more adviseable to yield to you at this Time. At another Time I'll attack you when I have furnished myself with Arguments; but not without a Second neither. For where the Tongue is the Weapon that decides the Quarrel; seven Men are scarce able to Deal with one Woman.

_Fa._ Indeed the Tongue is a Woman's Weapon; but you Men are not without it neither.

_Eu._ Perhaps so, but where is your little Boy?

_Fa._ In the next Room.

_Eu._ What is he doing there, cooking the Pot?

_Fa._ You Trifler, he's with his Nurse.

_Eu._ What Nurse do you talk of? Has he any Nurse but his Mother?

_Fa._ Why not? It is the Fas.h.i.+on.

_Eu._ You quote the worst Author in the World, _Fabulla_, the Fas.h.i.+on; 'tis the Fas.h.i.+on to do amiss, to game, to wh.o.r.e, to cheat, to be drunk, and to play the Rake.

_Fa._ My Friends would have it so; they were of Opinion I ought to favour myself, being young.