The Colloquies of Erasmus Part 25

_Ga._ They fell to me by Lot.

_Er._ But you only salute them I suppose; do you beg any Thing of them?

_Ga._ I pray, that by their Suffrages they would recommend me to Christ, and procure that by his a.s.sistance it may in Time come to pa.s.s that I be made one of their Company.

_Er._ Indeed what you ask for is no ordinary Thing: But what do you do then?

_Ga._ I go to School, and do what is to be done there with my utmost Endeavour; I so implore Christ's a.s.sistance, as if my Study without it would signify nothing; and I study as if he offered no Help but to him that labours industriously; and I do my utmost not to deserve to be beaten, nor to offend my Master either in Word or Deed, nor any of my Companions.

_Er._ You are a good Boy to mind these Things.

_Ga._ When School is done I make haste Home, and if I can I take a Church in my Way, and in three Words, I salute Jesus again; and I pay my Respects to my Parents; and if I have any Time, I repeat, either by myself, or with one of my School-fellows, what was dictated in School.

_Er._ Indeed you are a very good Husband of Time.

_Ga._ No wonder I am of that, which is the most precious Thing in the World, and when past is irrecoverable.

_Er._ And _Hesiod_ teaches, that good Husbandry ought to be in the Middle, it is too soon in the Beginning, and too late in the End.

_Ga._ _Hesiod_ spoke right enough concerning Wine, but of Time no good Husbandry is unseasonable. If you let a Hogshead of Wine alone it won't empty itself; but Time is always a flying, sleeping or waking.

_Er._ I confess so, but what do you do after that?

_Ga._ When my Parents sit down to Dinner I say Grace, and then wait at Table till I am bid to take my own Dinner; and having returned Thanks, if I have any Time left I divert myself with my Companions with some lawful Recreation till the Time comes to go to School again.

_Er._ Do you salute Jesus again?

_Ga._ Yes, if I have an Opportunity; but if it so happen that I have not an Opportunity, or it be not seasonable, as I pa.s.s by the Church I salute him mentally; and then I do what is to be done at School with all my Might; and when I go Home again I do what I did before Dinner: After Supper I divert myself with some pleasant Stories; and afterwards bidding my Parents and the Family good Night, I go to Bed betimes, and there kneeling down by the Bedside, as I have said, I say over those Things I have been learning that Day at School; if I have committed any great Fault, I implore Christ's Clemency, that he would pardon me, and I promise Amendment: and if I have committed no Fault, I thank him for his Goodness in preserving me from all Vice, and then I recommend myself to him with all my Soul, that he would preserve me from the Attempts of my evil Genius and filthy Dreams. When this is done, and I am got into Bed, I cross my Forehead and Breast, and compose myself to Rest.

_Er._ In what Posture do you compose yourself?

_Ga._ I don't lye upon my Face or my Back, but first leaning upon my Right-Side, I fold my Arms a-cross, so that they may defend my Breast, as it were with the Figure of a Cross, with my Right-hand upon my Left Shoulder, and my Left upon my Right, and so I sleep sweetly, either till I awake of myself, or am called up.

_Er._ You are a little Saint that can do thus.

_Ga._ You are a little Fool for saying so.

_Er._ I praise your Method, and I would I could practise it.

_Ga._ Give your Mind to it and you will do it, for when once you have accustom'd yourself to it for a few Months, these Things will be pleasant, and become natural.

_Er._ But I want to hear concerning divine Service.

_Ga._ I don't neglect that, especially upon holy Days.

_Er._ How do you manage yourself on holy Days?

_Ga._ In the first place I examine myself if my Mind be Polluted by any Stain of Sin.

_Er._ And if you find it is, what do you do then? Do you refrain from the Altar?

_Ga._ Not by my bodily Presence, but I withdraw myself, as to my Mind, and standing as it were afar off, as tho' not daring to lift up my Eyes to G.o.d the Father, whom I have offended, I strike upon my Breast, crying out with the Publican in the Gospel, _Lord, be merciful to me a Sinner_.

And then if I know I have offended any Man, I take Care to make him Satisfaction if I can presently; but if I cannot do that, I resolve in my Mind to reconcile my Neighbour as soon as possible. If any Body has offended me, I forbear Revenge, and endeavour to bring it about, that he that has offended me may be made sensible of his Fault, and be sorry for it; but if there be no Hope of that, I leave all Vengeance to G.o.d.

_Er._ That's a hard Task.

_Ga._ Is it hard to forgive a small Offence to your Brother, whose mutual Forgiveness thou wilt stand in frequent need of, when Christ has at once forgiven us all our Offences, and is every Day forgiving us?

Nay, this seems to me not to be Liberality to our Neighbour, but putting to Interest to G.o.d; just as tho' one Fellow-Servant should agree with another to forgive him three Groats, that his Lord might forgive him ten Talents.

_Er._ You indeed argue very rationally, if what you say be true.

_Ga._ Can you desire any Thing truer than the Gospel?

_Er._ That is unreasonable; but there are some who can't believe themselves to be Christians unless they hear Ma.s.s (as they call it) every Day.

_Ga._ Indeed I don't condemn the Practise in those that have Time enough, and spend whole Days in profane Exercises; but I only disapprove of those who superst.i.tiously fancy that that Day must needs be unfortunate to them that they have not begun with the Ma.s.s; and presently after divine Service is over they go either to Trading, Gaming, or the Court, where whatsoever succeeds, though done justly or unjustly, they attribute to the Ma.s.s.

_Er._ Are there any Persons that are so absurd?

_Ga._ The greatest part of Mankind.

_Er._ But return to divine Service.

_Ga._ If I can, I get to stand so close by the Holy Altar, that I can hear what the Priest reads, especially the Epistle and the Gospel; from these I endeavour to pick something, which I fix in my Mind, and this I ruminate upon for some Time.

_Er._ Don't you pray at all in the mean Time?

_Ga._ I do pray, but rather mentally than vocally. From the Things the Priest reads I take occasion of Prayer.

_Er._ Explain that a little more, I don't well take in what you mean.

_Ga._ I'll tell you; suppose this Epistle was read, _Purge out the old Leaven, that ye may be a new Lump, as ye are unleavened_. On occasion of these Words I thus address myself to Christ, "I wish I were the unleavened Bread, pure from all Leaven of Malice; but do thou, O Lord Jesus, who alone art pure, and free from all Malice, grant that I may every Day more and more purge out the old Leaven." Again, if the Gospel chance to be read concerning the Sower sowing his Seed, I thus pray with my self, "Happy is he that deserves to be that good Ground, and I pray that of barren Ground, he of his great Goodness would make me good Ground, without whose Blessing nothing at all is good." These for Example Sake, for it would be tedious to mention every Thing. But if I happen to meet with a dumb Priest, (such as there are many in _Germany_) or that I can't get near the Altar, I commonly get a little Book that has the Gospel of that Day and Epistle, and this I either say out aloud, or run it over with my Eye.

_Er._ I understand; but with what Contemplations chiefly dost thou pa.s.s away the Time?

_Ga._ I give Thanks to Jesus Christ for his unspeakable Love, in condescending to redeem Mankind by his Death; I pray that he would not suffer his most holy Blood to be shed in vain for me, but that with his Body he would always feed my Soul, and that with his Blood he would quicken my Spirit, that growing by little and little in the Increase of Graces, I may be made a fit Member of his mystical Body, which is the Church; nor may ever fall from that holy Covenant that he made with his elect Disciples at the last Supper, when he distributed the Bread, and gave the Cup; and through these, with all who are engraffed into his Society by Baptism. And if I find my Thoughts to wander, I read some Psalms, or some pious Matter, that may keep my Mind from wandring.

_Er._ Have you any particular Psalms for this Purpose?

_Ga._ I have; but I have not so tyed myself up to them, but that I can omit them, if any Meditation comes into my Mind that is more refres.h.i.+ng, than the Recitation of those Psalms.

_Er._ What do you do as to Fasting?

_Ga._ I have nothing to do with Fasting, for so _Jerome_ has taught me; that Health is not to be impair'd by fasting, until the Body is arrived at its full Strength. I am not quite 17 Years old; but yet if I find Occasion, I dine and sup sparingly, that I may be more lively for Spiritual Exercises on holy Days.

_Er._ Since I have begun, I will go through with my Enquiries. How do you find yourself affected towards Sermons?

_Ga._ Very well, I go to them as devoutly as if I was a going to a holy a.s.sembly; and yet I pick and chuse whom to hear, for there are some, one had better not hear than hear; and if such an one happens to preach, or if it happen that no Body preaches, I pa.s.s this Time in reading the Scriptures, I read the Gospel or Epistle with _Chrysostom's_ or _Jerome's_ Interpretation, or any other pious and learned Interpreter that I meet with.