The Colloquies of Erasmus Part 31

_I would not have you know before Hand._

_Ch._ Indeed I don't use to set a Day for my Friends. I am used to set a Day for those I'm at Law with. I would not have you know before Hand.

I'll take you at unawares. I'll come unexpectedly. I will catch you when you don't think on me. I shall take you when you don't think on me. I'll come unlooked for. I'll come upon you before you are aware. I'll come an uninvited and unexpected Guest.

_I would know before Hand._

_Pe._ I would know two Days before Hand. Give me Notice two Days before you come. Make me acquainted two Days before.

_Ch._ If you will have me, I'll make a _Sybaritical_ Appointment, that you may have Time enough to provide afore Hand.

_Pe._ What Appointment is that?

_Ch._ The _Sybarites_ invited their Guests against the next Year, that they might both have Time to be prepar'd.

_Pe._ Away with the _Sybarites_, and their troublesome Entertainments: I invite an old Chrony, and not a Courtier.

_You desire to your own Detriment._

_Ch._ Indeed 'tis to your Detriment. Indeed 'tis to your own Harm. To your own Loss. You wish for it. You pray for that to your own Ill-convenience.

_Pe._ Why so? Wherefore.

_Ch._ I'll come provided. I'll come prepar'd. I'll set upon you accoutred. I'll come furnish'd with a sharp Stomach; do you take Care that you have enough to satisfy a Vulture. I'll prepare my Belly and whet my Teeth; do you look to it, to get enough to satisfy a Wolf.

_Pe._ Come and welcome, I dare you to it. Come on, if you can do any Thing, do it to your utmost, with all your Might.

_Ch._ I'll come, but I won't come alone.

_Pe._ You shall be the more welcome for that; but who will you bring with you?

_Ch._ My _Umbra_.

_Pe._ You can't do otherwise if you come in the Day Time.

_Ch._ Ay, but I'll bring one _Umbra_ or two that have got Teeth, that you shan't have invited me for nothing.

_Pe._ Well, do as you will, so you don't bring any Ghosts along with you. But if you please explain what is the Meaning of the Word _Umbra_.

_Ch._ Among the Learned they are call'd _Umbrae_, who being uninvited, bear another Person, that is invited, Company to a Feast.

_Pe._ Well, bring such Ghosts along with you as many as you will.

_I promise upon this Condition._

_Ch._ Well, I will come, but upon this Condition, that you shall come to Supper with me the next Day. I will do it upon this Condition that you shall be my Guest afterwards. Upon that Condition I promise to come to Supper, that you again shall be my Guest. I promise I will, but upon these Terms, that you in the like Manner shall be my Guest the next Day.

I promise I will, I give you my Word I will, upon this Consideration, that you dine with me the next Day.

_Pe._ Come on, let it be done, let it be so. It shall be as you would have it. If you command me, I'll do it. I know the _French_ Ambition, You won't sup with me, but you'll make me Amends for it. And so by this Means Feasts use to go round. From hence it comes to pa.s.s, that it is a long Time before we have done feasting one with another. By this Interchangeableness Feasts become reciprocal without End.

_Ch._ It is the pleasantest Way of Living in the World, if no more Provision be made, but what is used to be made daily. But, I detain you, it may be, when you are going some whither.

_Pe._ Nay, I believe, I do you. But we'll talk more largely and more freely to Morrow. But we'll divert ourselves to Morrow more plentifully.

In the mean Time take Care of your Health. In the mean Time take Care to keep yourself in good Health. Farewell till then.

_Whither are you going? The Form._

_Ch._ Where are you a going now? Whither are you going so fast? Where are you a going in such great Haste. Whither go you? What's your Way?

_I go Home. The Form._

_Pe._ I go Home. I return Home. I go to see what they are a doing at Home. I go to call a Doctor. I am going into the Country. I made an Appointment just at this Time to go to speak with a certain great Man. I made an Appointment to meet a great Man at this Time.

_Ch._ Whom?

_Pe._ Talkative _Curio_.

_Ch._ I wish you _Mercury_'s a.s.sistance.

_Pe._ What need of _Mercury_'s a.s.sistance?

_Ch._ Because you have to do with a Man of Words.

_Pe._ Then it were more proper to wish the a.s.sistance of the G.o.ddess _Memoria_.

_Ch._ Why so?

_Pe._ Because you'll have more Occasion for patient Ears, than a strenuous Tongue. And the Ear is dedicated to the G.o.ddess _Memoria_.

_Ch._ Whither are you going? Whither will you go?

_Pe._ This Way, to the left Hand. This Way, that Way, through the Market.

_Ch._ Then I'll bear you Company as far as the next Turning.

_Pe._ I won't let you go about. You shan't put yourself to so much Trouble on my Account. Save that Trouble till it shall be of Use, it is altogether unnecessary at this Time. Don't go out of your Way upon my Account.

_Ch._ I reckon I save my Time while I enjoy the Company of so good a Friend. I have nothing else to do, and I am not so lazy, if my Company won't be troublesome.

_Pe._ No Body is a more pleasant Companion. But I won't suffer you to go on my left Hand. I won't let you walk on my left Hand. Here I bid G.o.d be with you. I shall not bear you Company any longer. You shan't go further with me.