The Colloquies of Erasmus Part 67

_Ant._ Ridiculous! As if the Saints did not dwell in Heaven.

_Adol._ Some made Promises to become _Carthusians_. There was one who promised he would go a _Pilgrimage_ to St. _James_ at _Compostella_, bare Foot and bare Head, cloth'd in a Coat of Mail, and begging his Bread all the Way.

_Ant._ Did no Body make any Mention of St. _Christopher_?

_Adol._ Yes, I heard one, and I could not forbear laughing, who bawling out aloud, lest St. _Christopher_ should not hear him, promised him, who is at the Top of a Church at _Paris_, rather a Mountain than a Statue, a wax Taper as big as he was himself: When he had bawl'd out this over and over as loud as he could, an Acquaintance of his jogg'd him on the Elbow, and caution'd him: Have a Care what you promise, for if you should sell all you have in the World, you will not be able to pay for it. He answer'd him softly, lest St. _Christopher_ should hear him, you Fool, says he, do you think I mean as I speak, if I once got safe to Sh.o.r.e, I would not give him so much as a tallow Candle.

_Ant._ O Blockhead! I fancy he was a _Hollander_.

_Adol._ No, he was a _Zealander_.

_Ant._ I wonder no Body thought of St. _Paul_, who has been at Sea, and having suffered s.h.i.+pwreck, leapt on Sh.o.r.e. For he being not unacquainted with the Distress, knows how to pity those that are in it.

_Adol._ He was not so much as named.

_Ant._ Were they at their Prayers all the While?

_Adol._ Ay, as if it had been for a Wager. One sung his _Hail Queen_; another, _I believe in G.o.d_. There were some who had certain particular Prayers not unlike magical Charms against Dangers.

_Ant._ How Affliction makes Men religious! In Prosperity we neither think of G.o.d nor Saint. But what did you do all this While? Did you not make Vows to some Saints?

_Adol._ No, none at all.

_Ant._ Why so?

_Adol._ I make no Bargains with Saints. For what is this but a Bargain in Form? I'll give you, if you do so and so; or I will do so and so, if you do so and so: I'll give you a wax Taper, if I swim out alive; I'll go to _Rome_, if you save me.

_Ant._ But did you call upon none of the Saints for Help?

_Adol._ No, not so much as that neither.

_Ant._ Why so?

_Adol._ Because Heaven is a large Place, and if I should recommend my Safety to any Saint, as suppose, to St. _Peter_, who perhaps, would hear soonest, because he stands at the Door; before he can come to G.o.d Almighty, or before he could tell him my Condition, I may be lost.

_Ant._ What did you do then?

_Adol._ I e'en went the next Way to G.o.d the Father, saying, _Our Father which art in Heaven_. There's none of the Saints hears sooner than he does, or more readily gives what is ask'd for.

_Ant._ But in the mean Time did not your Conscience check you? Was you not afraid to call him Father, whom you had offended with so many Wickednesses?

_Adol._ To speak ingenuously, my Conscience did a little terrify me at first, but I presently took Heart again, thus reasoning with myself; There is no Father so angry with his Son, but if he sees him in Danger of being drowned in a River or Pond, he will take him, tho' it be by the Hair of the Head, and throw him out upon a Bank. There was no Body among them all behaved herself more composed than a Woman, who had a Child sucking at her Breast.

_Ant._ What did she do?

_Adol._ She only neither bawl'd, nor wept, nor made Vows, but hugging her little Boy, pray'd softly. In the mean Time the s.h.i.+p das.h.i.+ng ever and anon against the Ground, the Pilot being afraid she would be beat all to Pieces, under-girded her with Cables from Head to Stern.

_Ant._ That was a sad s.h.i.+ft!

_Adol._ Upon this, up starts an old Priest about threescore Years of Age, his Name was _Adam_. He strips himself to his s.h.i.+rt, throws away his Boots and Shoes, and bids us all in like Manner to prepare ourselves for swimming. Then standing in the middle of the s.h.i.+p, he preach'd a Sermon to us, upon the five Truths of the Benefit of Confession, and exhorted every Man to prepare himself, for either Life or Death. There was a _Dominican_ there too, and they confess'd those that had a Mind to it.

_Ant._ What did you do?

_Adol._ I seeing that every thing was in a Hurry, confess'd privately to G.o.d, condemning before him my Iniquity, and imploring his Mercy.

_Ant._ And whither should you have gone, do you think, if you had perished?

_Adol._ I left that to G.o.d, who is my Judge; I would not be my own Judge. But I was not without comfortable Hopes neither. While these Things were transacting, the Steersman comes to us again all in Tears; Prepare your selves every one of you, says he, for the s.h.i.+p will be of no Service to us for a quarter of an Hour. For now she leak'd in several Places. Presently after this he brings us Word that he saw a Steeple a good Way off, and exhorts us to implore the Aid of that Saint, whoever it was, who had the protection of that Temple. They all fall down and pray to the unknown Saint.

_Ant._ Perhaps he would have heard ye, if ye had call'd upon him by his Name.

_Adol._ But that we did not know. In the mean Time the Pilate steers the s.h.i.+p, torn and leaking every where, and ready to fall in Pieces, if she had not been undergirt with Cables, as much as he could toward that Place.

_Ant._ A miserable Condition.

_Adol._ We were now come so near the Sh.o.a.r, that the Inhabitants of the Place could see us in Distress, and ran down in Throngs to the utmost Edge of the Sh.o.a.r, and holding up Gowns and Hats upon Spears, invited us to make towards them, and stretching out their Arms towards Heaven, signified to us that they pitied our Misfortune.

_Ant._ I long to know what happened.

_Adol._ The s.h.i.+p was now every where full of Water, that we were no safer in the s.h.i.+p than if we had been in the Sea.

_Ant._ Now was your Time to betake yourself to divine Help.

_Adol._ Ay, to a wretched one. The Sailors emptied the s.h.i.+p's Boat of Water, and let it down into the Sea. Every Body was for getting into it, the Mariners cry'd out amain, they'll sink the Boat, it will not hold so many; that every one should take what he could get, and swim for it.

There was no Time now for long Deliberation. One gets an Oar, another a Pole, another a Gutter, another a Bucket, another a Plank, and every one relying upon their Security, they commit themselves to the Billows.

_Ant._ But what became of the Woman that was the only Person that made no Bawling?

_Adol._ She got to Sh.o.a.r the first of them all.

_Ant._ How could she do that?

_Adol._ We set her upon a broad Plank, and ty'd her on so fast that she could not easily fall off, and we gave her a Board in her Hand to make Use of instead of an Oar, and wis.h.i.+ng her good Success, we set her afloat, thrusting her off from the s.h.i.+p with Poles, that she might be clear of it, whence was the greatest Danger. And she held her Child in her left Hand, and row'd with her right Hand.

_Ant._ O _Virago_!

_Adol._ Now when there was nothing else left, one pull'd up a wooden Image of the Virgin _Mary_, rotten, and rat-eaten, and embracing it in his Arms, try'd to swim upon it.

_Ant._ Did the Boat get safe to Land?

_Adol._ None perish'd sooner than they that were in that, and there were above thirty that had got into it.

_Ant._ By what bad Accident was that brought about?

_Adol._ It was overset by the rolling of the s.h.i.+p, before they could get clear of it.

_Ant._ A sad Accident: But how then?