The Colloquies of Erasmus Part 70

_The YOUNG MAN and HARLOT._

The ARGUMENT.

_This is certainly a divine Colloquy, that makes even a Bawdy-House a chaste Place! G.o.d can't be deceiv'd, his Eyes penetrate into the most secret Places. That young Persons ought in an especial Manner to take Care of their Chast.i.ty. A young Woman, who made herself common to get a Livelihood, is recovered from that Course of Life, as wretched as it is scandalous._

LUCRETIA, SOPHRONIUS.

_Lu._ O brave! My pretty _Sophronius_, have I gotten you again? It is an Age methinks since I saw you. I did not know you at first Sight.

_So._ Why so, my _Lucretia_?

_Lu._ Because you had no Beard when you went away, but you're come back with something of a Beard. What's the Matter, my little Heart, you look duller than you use to do?

_So._ I want to have a little Talk with you in private.

_Lu._ Ah, ah, are we not by ourselves already, my c.o.c.ky?

_So._ Let us go out of the Way somewhere, into a more private Place.

_Lu._ Come on then, we'll go into my inner Bed-Chamber, if you have a Mind to do any Thing.

_So._ I don't think this Place is private enough yet.

_Lu._ How comes it about you're so bashful all on a sudden? Well, come, I have a Closet where I lay up my Cloaths, a Place so dark, that we can scarce see one another there.

_So._ See if there be no c.h.i.n.k.

_Lu._ There is not so much as a c.h.i.n.k.

_So._ Is there no Body near to hear us?

_Lu._ Not so much as a Fly, my Dear; Why do you lose Time?

_So._ Can we escape the Eye of G.o.d here?

_Lu._ No, he sees all Things clearly.

_So._ And of the Angels?

_Lu._ No, we cannot escape their Sight.

_So._ How comes it about then, that Men are not asham'd to do that in the Sight of G.o.d, and before the Face of the holy Angels, that they would be ashamed to do before Men?

_Lu._ What Sort of an Alteration is this? Did you come hither to preach a Sermon? Prithee put on a _Franciscan_'s Hood, and get up into a Pulpit, and then we'll hear you hold forth, my little bearded Rogue.

_So._ I should not think much to do that, if I could but reclaim you from this Kind of Life, that is the most shameful and miserable Life in the World.

_Lu._ Why so, good Man? I am born, and I must be kept; every one must live by his Calling. This is my Business; this is all I have to live on.

_So._ I wish with all my Heart, my _Lucretia_, that setting aside for a While that Infatuation of Mind, you would seriously weigh the Matter.

_Lu._ Keep your Preachment till another Time; now let us enjoy one another, my _Sophronius_.

_So._ You do what you do for the Sake of Gain.

_Lu._ You are much about the Matter.

_So._ Thou shalt lose nothing by it, do but hearken to me, and I'll pay you four Times over.

_Lu._ Well, say what you have a Mind to say.

_So._ Answer me this Question in the first Place: Are there any Persons that owe you any ill Will?

_Lu._ Not one.

_So._ Is there any Body that you have a Spleen against?

_Lu._ According as they deserve.

_So._ And if you could do any Thing that would gratify them, would you do it?

_Lu._ I would poison 'em sooner.

_So._ But then do but consider with yourself; is there any Thing that you can do that gratifies them more than to let them see you live this shameful and wretched Life? And what is there thou canst do that would be more afflicting to them that wish thee well?

_Lu._ It is my Destiny.

_So._ Now that which uses to be the greatest Hards.h.i.+p to such as are transported, or banish'd into the most remote Parts of the World, this you undergo voluntarily.

_Lu._ What is that?

_So._ Hast thou not of thy own Accord renounc'd all thy Affections to Father, Mother, Brother, Sisters, Aunts, (by Father's and Mother's Side) and all thy Relations? For thou makest them all asham'd to own thee, and thyself asham'd to come into their Sight.

_Lu._ Nay, I have made a very happy Exchange of Affections; for instead of a few, now I have a great many, of which you are one, and whom I have always esteem'd as a Brother.

_So._ Leave off Jesting, and consider the Matter seriously, as it really is. Believe me, my _Lucretia_, she who has so many Friends, has never a one, for they that follow thee do it not as a Friend, but as a House of Office rather. Do but consider, poor Thing, into what a Condition thou hast brought thyself. _Christ_ lov'd thee so dearly as to redeem thee with his own Blood, and would have thee be a Partaker with him in an heavenly Inheritance, and thou makest thyself a common Sewer, into which all the base, nasty, pocky Fellows resort, and empty their Filthiness.

And if that leprous Infection they call the _French_ Pox han't yet seiz'd thee, thou wilt not escape it long. And if once thou gettest it, how miserable wilt thou be, though all things should go favourably on thy Side? I mean thy Substance and Reputation. Thou wouldest be nothing but a living Carcase. Thou thoughtest much to obey thy Mother, and now thou art a mere Slave to a filthy Bawd. You could not endure to hear your Parents Instructions; and here you are often beaten by drunken Fellows and mad Wh.o.r.emasters. It was irksome to thee to do any Work at Home, to get a Living; but here, how many Quarrels art thou forc'd to endure, and how late a Nights art thou oblig'd to sit up?

_Lu._ How came you to be a Preacher?

_So._ And do but seriously consider, this Flower of thy Beauty that now brings thee so many Gallants, will soon fade: And then, poor Creature, what wilt thou do? Thou wilt be p.i.s.s'd upon by every Body. It may be, thou thinkest, instead of a Mistress, I'll then be a Bawd. All Wh.o.r.es can't attain to that, and if thou shouldst, what Employment is more impious, and more like the Devil himself?

_Lu._ Why, indeed, my _Sophronius_, almost all you say is very true. But how came you to be so religious all of a sudden? Thou usedst to be the greatest Rake in the World, one of 'em. No Body used to come hither more frequently, nor at more unseasonable Hours than you did. I hear you have been at _Rome_.