I'll Leave It To You Part 3

JOYCE (_going to him, excitedly_). Something wonderful has happened, Oliver.

OLIVER. What is it?

JOYCE. We're ruined. I've just got to go and order extra teacakes. Isn't it all thrilling?

(_Exit_ JOYCE _into hall._)

OLIVER. What on earth's she talking about?

SYLVIA. It's perfectly true. We haven't any money, but Uncle Daniel's coming to-day, and we're sure he'll help us.

OLIVER (_dazed_). Haven't any money, but----

EVANGELINE (_at fire_). Mother's been rather vague as usual, but we gather that we're practically penniless, and that we shall have to give up the house after two years unless something happens.

SYLVIA. Luckily Uncle Daniel is happening--this afternoon. Mother's just had a wire from him--he's certain to be rich, mother says.

(BOBBIE _leaning against stairs._)

OLIVER. Why?

SYLVIA. Because he's a bachelor, and has been living in South America for five years.

BOBBIE. Six years.

SYLVIA. Five years.

BOBBIE. Six years--mother said so.

SYLVIA. No, she didn't----

OLIVER. Well, it doesn't matter. How does mother know we're penniless?

BOBBIE (_coming_ C.). She heard from Tibbets this morning, he's coming down to-night.

OLIVER (_sinking into chair_). By Jove, what a muddle!

(JOYCE _re-enters, crosses to chair_ L.C., _takes coat and exits up stairs._)

SYLVIA. It's all quite clear when you think it out.

BOBBIE (C.). We've all got to wash and make ourselves look clean and sweet for Uncle Daniel. Your collar's filthy; you'd better go and change it quickly. He may be here at any minute.

SYLVIA. Turn on the lights, Bobbie--and do let's hurry.

(BOBBIE _turns up the lights and goes upstairs followed by_ OLIVER.

EVANGELINE _goes up slowly after them._)

OLIVER. What a muddle! What a muddle! (_As he crosses to stairs._)

EVANGELINE (_following him_). What a muddle! What a muddle! (_Turns on stairs._) Shall I put on my emerald green tea gown? (_To_ SYLVIA.)

SYLVIA. No, dear; it's ever so much too old for you.

EVANGELINE (_piqued_). I don't think it's at all too old for me. I shall certainly put it on.

(_She disappears upstairs._ SYLVIA _is left alone. Suddenly there comes a loud peal at the front door bell._ SYLVIA _sees some half-made crepe-de-chine underclothes on form, takes them, hides them under cus.h.i.+ons on window seat_ L. _Draws curtains to window_ L., _then_ L.C. _as enter_ GRIGGS, _followed by_ UNCLE DANIEL _in an opulent-looking fur coat--he is a tall, stoutish man of about forty-five._ SYLVIA _shrinks back by stairs._)

GRIGGS (_a.s.sisting him off with his coat_). If you will wait, sir, I'll tell Mrs. Dermott you are here.

DANIEL. Thank you. (_Goes round to fireplace, warms hands, turns._)

(GRIGGS _has meanwhile taken his coat into the lobby._ SYLVIA _creeps cautiously from behind and goes towards stairs._ DANIEL _looks round and sees her. He watches her in silence for a moment, as she goes up a few stairs._)

Excuse me--have you been stealing anything?

SYLVIA (_jumping_). Oh, Uncle Daniel--I didn't want you to see me.

DANIEL. Why not?

SYLVIA. I wanted to change my frock and do my hair.

DANIEL. It looks quite charming as it is--I suppose you are Evangeline?

SYLVIA. No I'm not, I'm Sylvia. (_Coming to him._)

DANIEL (_below Chesterfield_). Sylvia! I didn't know there was a Sylvia.

SYLVIA (R.C., _laughing_). I was having concussion last time you were here, having cut my head open on a door sc.r.a.per at school. Naturally you wouldn't remember me.

DANIEL. Oh, but I do now, you were the sole topic of conversation at lunch. How foolish of me to have let you slip my memory. Where are all the others?

SYLVIA. They're upstairs improving on the Almighty's conception of them as much as possible in your honour; I was just going to do the same when you caught me.

DANIEL. You looked extraordinarily furtive.

SYLVIA. And untidy. We've just been having a sort of family conference.

It was very heating.

DANIEL. I think you might have waited for me--I'm a most important factor. What were you discussing?

SYLVIA. Oh--er--ways and means.

DANIEL. I see, it's as bad as that!

SYLVIA. But you wait until mother comes. She'll explain everything. I'll go and hurry her up. (_She goes up stairs._)

DANIEL. Don't leave me all alone. I'm a timid creature.