Enquire Within Upon Everything Part 155

vi. Do not wear rings on the outside of your gloves.

vii. Avoid an excess of jewellery.

viii. Do not select the same partner frequently.

ix. Distribute your attentions as much as possible.

x. Pay respectful attention to elderly persons.

xi. Be cordial when serving refreshments, but not importunate.

xii. If there are more dancers than the room will accommodate, do not join in every dance.

xiii. In leaving a large party it is unnecessary to bid farewell, and improper to do so before the guests.

xiv. In b.a.l.l.s and large parties there should be a table for cards, and two packs of cards placed upon each table.

xv. Chess and all unsociable games should be avoided.

xvi. Although many persons do not like to play at cards except for a stake, the stakes agreed to at parties should be very trifling, so as not to create excitement or discussion.

xvii. The host and hostess should look after their guests, and not confine their attentions. They should, in fact, attend chiefly to those who are the least known in the room.

xviii. Avoid political and religious discussions. If you have a hobby, keep it to yourself.

xix. After dancing, conduct your partner to a seat.

xx. Resign her as soon as her next partner advances.

(_For the Figures of Dances, see pars._ 139-159.--_See_ HINTS UPON ETIQUETTE, _par_ 2024.)

1938. Marriage Arrangements.

1939. Special Licences.

Special licences are dispensations from the ordinary rule, under which marriages can only take place canonically in the parish church, or other places duly licensed for that purpose. They can only be obtained from the Metropolitan or archbishop of the province, and often with no small difficulty, not being readily granted; and when obtained the fees are about 50.

1940. Common Licences.

Common Licences enable persons of full age, or minors with consent of parents or guardians, to be married in the church of the parish in which one of them has resided for three weeks. They are procured from Doctors' Commons, or from any surrogate, at the cost of about 2 10s.

1941. Banns.

Banns must be published _three times_ in the parish church, in _each place_ where the persons concerned reside. The clerk is applied to on such occasions; his fee varies from 1s. 6d. upwards. When the marriage ceremony is over, the parties repair to the vestry, and enter their names in the parish registry. The registry is signed by the clergyman and the witnesses present, and a certificate of the registry is given to the bridegroom if desired. The charge for a certificate of marriage is 2s. 7d., including the penny stamp on the doc.u.ments, as by law required, and the clergyman's fee varies according to circ.u.mstances.

The clerk will at all times give information thereupon; and it is best for a friend of the bridegroom to attend to the pecuniary arrangements.

1942. Marriage by Registration.

An Act was pa.s.sed in the reign of William the Fourth, by which it was rendered legal for persons wis.h.i.+ng to be married by a civil ceremony, to give notice of their intention to the Registrar of Marriages in their district or districts. Three weeks' notice is necessary, to give which the parties call, separately or together, at the office of the registrar, who enters the names in a book. When the time of notice has expired, it is only necessary to give the registrar an intimation, on the previous day, of your intention to attend at his office on the next day, and complete the registration. The ceremony consists of merely answering a few questions, and making the declaration that you take each other to live as husband and wife. The fee amounts only to a few s.h.i.+llings, and in this form no wedding ring is required, though it is usually placed on the ring-finger of the bride's left hand, in the presence of the persons a.s.sembled. The married couple receive a certificate of marriage, which is in every respect lawful.

[ONE TO-DAY IS WORTH TWO TO-MORROW.]

1943. Wedding Dress.

It is impossible to lay down specific rules for dress, as fas.h.i.+ons change, and tastes differ. The great art consists in selecting the style of dress most becoming to the person. A stout person should adopt a different style from a thin person; a taLl one from a short one. Peculiarities of complexion, and form of face and figure, should be duly regarded; and in these matters there is no better course than to call in the aid of any respectable milliner and dressmaker, who will be found ready and able to give the best advice. The bridegroom should simply appear in morning dress, and should avoid everything eccentric and conspicuous in style. The bridesmaids should always be made aware of the bride's dress before they choose their own, which should be determined by a proper harmony with the former.

1944. The Order of Going to Church.

The order of going to church is as follows:--The BRIDE, accompanied by her _father_, occupies the _last carriage_. The father hands out the bride, and leads her direct to the altar, round which those who have been invited have already grouped themselves, leaving room for the father, the bride, and the bridesmaids, who usually await the bride's coming at the entrance to the church, or at the bottom of the chancel, and follow her to the communion rails.

1945. The Bridegroom.

The Bridegroom, who has made his way to the church, accompanied by his "best man," or princ.i.p.al groomsman--an intimate friend or brother--should be waiting at the communion rails to receive his future wife on her arrival. He and she then stand facing the altar, he being on the right of the bride, and the father or the gentleman who is to "give away" the bride, on the left.

1946. The Chief Bridesmaid.

The Chief Bridesmaid occupies a place immediately behind the _bride_, to hold her gloves and handkerchief, and flowers; her _companions_ range themselves close to, and slightly in the rear of the princ.i.p.al bridesmaid. If any difficulties occur from forgetfulness, or want of knowledge, the woman who is usually in attendance at the church can set everything right.

1947. Important Details.

Remember to take the License and the Ring with you.--The fee to a clergyman is according to the rank and fortune of the bridegroom; the clerk if there be one, expects _five s.h.i.+llings_, and a trifle should be given to the pew opener, and other officials of the church. There is a fixed scale of fees at every church, to which the parties married can add if they please.

1948. Afterwards.

When the Ceremony is concluded, _the bride, taking the bridegroom's arm, goes into the vestry, the others following_; signatures are then affixed, and a registration made, after which the married pair enter their carriage, and proceed to the breakfast, everyone else following.

1949. The Order of Return.

The order of return from Church differs from the above only in the fact that the bride and bridegroom now ride together in the first carriage, the bride being on his left. The bridesmaids and other guests find their way home in the remaining carriages, but to prevent confusion some preconcerted arrangement is desirable.

1950. The Wedding Breakfast.

The Wedding Breakfast having been already prepared, the wedding party return thereto. If a large party, the bride and bridegroom occupy seats in the centre of the long table, and the two extremities should be presided over by the father and mother of the bride, or, failing these, by elderly relatives, if possible one from each family.

Everyone should endeavour to make the occasion as happy as possible.