The Complete Works of William Shakespeare Part 476

HORTENSIO. Her father is Baptista Minola, An affable and courteous gentleman; Her name is Katherina Minola, Renown'd in Padua for her scolding tongue.

PETRUCHIO. I know her father, though I know not her; And he knew my deceased father well.

I will not sleep, Hortensio, till I see her; And therefore let me be thus bold with you To give you over at this first encounter, Unless you will accompany me thither.

GRUMIO. I pray you, sir, let him go while the humour lasts. O' my word, and she knew him as well as I do, she would think scolding would do little good upon him. She may perhaps call him half a score knaves or so. Why, that's nothing; and he begin once, he'll rail in his rope-tricks. I'll tell you what, sir: an she stand him but a little, he will throw a figure in her face, and so disfigure her with it that she shall have no more eyes to see withal than a cat. You know him not, sir.

HORTENSIO. Tarry, Petruchio, I must go with thee, For in Baptista's keep my treasure is.

He hath the jewel of my life in hold, His youngest daughter, beautiful Bianca; And her withholds from me, and other more, Suitors to her and rivals in my love; Supposing it a thing impossible- For those defects I have before rehears'd- That ever Katherina will be woo'd.

Therefore this order hath Baptista ta'en, That none shall have access unto Bianca Till Katherine the curst have got a husband.

GRUMIO. Katherine the curst!

A t.i.tle for a maid of all t.i.tles the worst.

HORTENSIO. Now shall my friend Petruchio do me grace, And offer me disguis'd in sober robes To old Baptista as a schoolmaster Well seen in music, to instruct Bianca; That so I may by this device at least Have leave and leisure to make love to her, And unsuspected court her by herself.

Enter GREMIO with LUCENTIO disguised as CAMBIO

GRUMIO. Here's no knavery! See, to beguile the old folks, how the young folks lay their heads together! Master, master, look about you. Who goes there, ha?

HORTENSIO. Peace, Grumio! It is the rival of my love. Petruchio, stand by awhile.

GRUMIO. A proper stripling, and an amorous!

[They stand aside]

GREMIO. O, very well; I have perus'd the note.

Hark you, sir; I'll have them very fairly bound- All books of love, see that at any hand; And see you read no other lectures to her.

You understand me- over and beside Signior Baptista's liberality, I'll mend it with a largess. Take your paper too, And let me have them very well perfum'd; For she is sweeter than perfume itself To whom they go to. What will you read to her?

LUCENTIO. Whate'er I read to her, I'll plead for you As for my patron, stand you so a.s.sur'd, As firmly as yourself were still in place; Yea, and perhaps with more successful words Than you, unless you were a scholar, sir.

GREMIO. O this learning, what a thing it is!

GRUMIO. O this woodc.o.c.k, what an a.s.s it is!

PETRUCHIO. Peace, sirrah!

HORTENSIO. Grumio, mum! [Coming forward]

G.o.d save you, Signior Gremio!

GREMIO. And you are well met, Signior Hortensio.

Trow you whither I am going? To Baptista Minola.

I promis'd to enquire carefully About a schoolmaster for the fair Bianca; And by good fortune I have lighted well On this young man; for learning and behaviour Fit for her turn, well read in poetry And other books- good ones, I warrant ye.

HORTENSIO. 'Tis well; and I have met a gentleman Hath promis'd me to help me to another, A fine musician to instruct our mistress; So shall I no whit be behind in duty To fair Bianca, so beloved of me.

GREMIO. Beloved of me- and that my deeds shall prove.

GRUMIO. And that his bags shall prove.

HORTENSIO. Gremio, 'tis now no time to vent our love.

Listen to me, and if you speak me fair I'll tell you news indifferent good for either.

Here is a gentleman whom by chance I met, Upon agreement from us to his liking, Will undertake to woo curst Katherine; Yea, and to marry her, if her dowry please.

GREMIO. So said, so done, is well.

Hortensio, have you told him all her faults?

PETRUCHIO. I know she is an irksome brawling scold; If that be all, masters, I hear no harm.

GREMIO. No, say'st me so, friend? What countryman?

PETRUCHIO. Born in Verona, old Antonio's son.

My father dead, my fortune lives for me; And I do hope good days and long to see.

GREMIO. O Sir, such a life with such a wife were strange!

But if you have a stomach, to't a G.o.d's name; You shall have me a.s.sisting you in all.

But will you woo this wild-cat?

PETRUCHIO. Will I live?

GRUMIO. Will he woo her? Ay, or I'll hang her.

PETRUCHIO. Why came I hither but to that intent?

Think you a little din can daunt mine ears?

Have I not in my time heard lions roar?

Have I not heard the sea, puff'd up with winds, Rage like an angry boar chafed with sweat?

Have I not heard great ordnance in the field, And heaven's artillery thunder in the skies?

Have I not in a pitched battle heard Loud 'larums, neighing steeds, and trumpets' clang?

And do you tell me of a woman's tongue, That gives not half so great a blow to hear As will a chestnut in a fariner's fire?

Tus.h.!.+ tus.h.!.+ fear boys with bugs.

GRUMIO. For he fears none.

GREMIO. Hortensio, hark: This gentleman is happily arriv'd, My mind presumes, for his own good and ours.

HORTENSIO. I promis'd we would be contributors And bear his charge of wooing, whatsoe'er.

GREMIO. And so we will- provided that he win her.

GRUMIO. I would I were as sure of a good dinner.

Enter TRANIO, bravely apparelled as LUCENTIO, and BIONDELLO

TRANIO. Gentlemen, G.o.d save you! If I may be bold, Tell me, I beseech you, which is the readiest way To the house of Signior Baptista Minola?

BIONDELLO. He that has the two fair daughters; is't he you mean?

TRANIO. Even he, Biondello.

GREMIO. Hark you, sir, you mean not her to- TRANIO. Perhaps him and her, sir; what have you to do?

PETRUCHIO. Not her that chides, sir, at any hand, I pray.

TRANIO. I love no chiders, sir. Biondello, let's away.

LUCENTIO. [Aside] Well begun, Tranio.

HORTENSIO. Sir, a word ere you go.

Are you a suitor to the maid you talk of, yea or no?

TRANIO. And if I be, sir, is it any offence?

GREMIO. No; if without more words you will get you hence.

TRANIO. Why, sir, I pray, are not the streets as free For me as for you?

GREMIO. But so is not she.

TRANIO. For what reason, I beseech you?

GREMIO. For this reason, if you'll know, That she's the choice love of Signior Gremio.

HORTENSIO. That she's the chosen of Signior Hortensio.

TRANIO. Softly, my masters! If you be gentlemen, Do me this right- hear me with patience.

Baptista is a n.o.ble gentleman, To whom my father is not all unknown, And, were his daughter fairer than she is, She may more suitors have, and me for one.

Fair Leda's daughter had a thousand wooers; Then well one more may fair Bianca have; And so she shall: Lucentio shall make one, Though Paris came in hope to speed alone.

GREMIO. What, this gentleman will out-talk us all!

LUCENTIO. Sir, give him head; I know he'll prove a jade.

PETRUCHIO. Hortensio, to what end are all these words?

HORTENSIO. Sir, let me be so bold as ask you, Did you yet ever see Baptista's daughter?

TRANIO. No, sir, but hear I do that he hath two: The one as famous for a scolding tongue As is the other for beauteous modesty.

PETRUCHIO. Sir, sir, the first's for me; let her go by.

GREMIO. Yea, leave that labour to great Hercules, And let it be more than Alcides' twelve.

PETRUCHIO. Sir, understand you this of me, in sooth: The youngest daughter, whom you hearken for, Her father keeps from all access of suitors, And will not promise her to any man Until the elder sister first be wed.

The younger then is free, and not before.

TRANIO. If it be so, sir, that you are the man Must stead us all, and me amongst the rest; And if you break the ice, and do this feat, Achieve the elder, set the younger free For our access- whose hap shall be to have her Will not so graceless be to be ingrate.

HORTENSIO. Sir, you say well, and well you do conceive; And since you do profess to be a suitor, You must, as we do, gratify this gentleman, To whom we all rest generally beholding.

TRANIO. Sir, I shall not be slack; in sign whereof, Please ye we may contrive this afternoon, And quaff carouses to our mistress' health; And do as adversaries do in law- Strive mightily, but eat and drink as friends.

GRUMIO, BIONDELLO. O excellent motion! Fellows, let's be gone.

HORTENSIO. The motion's good indeed, and be it so.

Petruchio, I shall be your ben venuto. Exeunt