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and any serious distraction meant ruin.
In a day or two she took leave of Nancy, who had chosen for her winter retreat no less remote a spot than Falmouth. Horace having settled himself in lodgings, the house was to be shut up; Mary Woodruff of course went down into Cornwall. Nancy had written a letter to Mr.
Barmby, senior, excusing herself for not being able to see him before her departure; it was an amiable letter, but contained frank avowal of pain and discontent at the prospect of her long pupilage. 'Of course I submit to the burden my father chose to lay upon me, and before long, I hope, I shall be able to take things in a better spirit. All I ask of you, dear Mr. Barmby, is to have forbearance with me until I get back my health and feel more cheerful. You know that I could not be in better hands whilst Mary is with me. I shall write frequently, and give you an account of myself. Let me hear sometimes, and show me that you make allowance for my very trying position.'
Jessica heard the letter discussed by its recipient and his family.
Samuel spoke with his wonted magnanimity; his father took a liberal view of the matter. And in writing to her friend a few days later, Jessica was able to say: 'I think you may safely stay at Falmouth for the whole winter. You will not be interfered with if you write nicely. I shouldn't wonder if they would let you keep out of their reach _as long as it is necessary_.'
The week of Jessica's ordeal was now at hand. She had had another fainting-fit; her sleep was broken every night with hideous dreams; she ate scarce enough to keep herself alive; a perpetual fever parched her throat and burned at her temples.
On the last day of 'cram,' she sat from morning to night in her comfortless little bedroom, bending over the smoky fire, reading desperately through a pile of note-books. The motive of vanity no longer supported her; gladly she would have crept away into a life of insignificance; but the fee for the examination was paid, and she must face the terrors, the shame, that waited her at Burlington House. No hope of 'pa.s.sing.' Perhaps at the last moment a stroke of mortal illness would come to her relief.
Not so. She found herself in the ghastly torture-hall, at a desk on which lay sheets of paper, not whiter than her face. Somebody gave her a scroll, stereotyped in imitation of ma.n.u.script--the questions to be answered. For a quarter of an hour she could not understand a word. She saw the face of Samuel Barmby, and heard his tones--'The delicacy of a young lady's nervous system unfits her for such a strain.'
That evening she went home with a half-formed intention of poisoning herself.
But the morrow saw her seated again before another scroll of stereotype, still thinking of Samuel Barmby, still hearing his voice. The man was grown hateful to her; he seemed to haunt her brain malignantly, and to paralyse her hand.
Day after day in the room of torture, until all was done. Then upon her long despair followed a wild, unreasoning hope. Though it rained, she walked all the way home, singing, chattering to herself, and reached the house-door without consciousness of the distance she had traversed. Her mother and sister came out into the hall; they had been watching for her.
'I did a good paper to-day--I think I've pa.s.sed after all--yes, I feel sure I've pa.s.sed!'
'You look dreadful,' exclaimed Mrs. Morgan. 'And you're wet through--'
'I did a good paper to-day--I feel sure I've pa.s.sed!'
She sat down to a meal, but could not swallow.
'I feel sure I've pa.s.sed--I feel sure--'
And she fell from the chair, to all appearances stone-dead.
They took her upstairs, undressed her, sent for the doctor. When he came, she had been lying for half-an-hour conscious, but mute. She looked gravely at him, and said, as if repeating a lesson:
'The delicacy of a young lady's nervous system unfits her for such a strain.'
'Undoubtedly,' repeated the doctor, with equal gravity.
'But,' she added eagerly, 'let Mr. Barmby know at once that I have pa.s.sed.'
'He shall know at once,' said the doctor.
CHAPTER 3
A lady who lived at Kilburn, and entertained largely in a house not designed for large entertainment, was 'at home' this evening. At eleven o'clock the two drawing-rooms contained as many people as could sit and stand with semblance of comfort; around the hostess, on the landing, pressed a crowd, which grew constantly thicker by affluence from the staircase. In the hall below a 'Hungarian band' discoursed very loud music. Among recent arrivals appeared a troupe of n.i.g.g.e.r minstrels, engaged to give their exhilarating entertainment--if s.p.a.ce could be found for them. Bursts of laughter from the dining-room announced the success of an American joker, who, in return for a substantial cheque, provided amus.e.m.e.nt in fas.h.i.+onable gatherings. A brilliant scene. The air, which encouraged perspiration, was rich with many odours; voices endeavouring to make themselves audible in colloquy, swelled to a tumultuous volume that vied with the Hungarian clangours.
In a corner of the staircase, squeezed behind two very fat women in very low dresses, stood Horace Lord. His heated countenance wore a look of fretful impatience; he kept rising upon his toes in an endeavour to distinguish faces down in the hall. At length his expression changed, and with eager eyes he began to force a way for himself between the fat women. Not unrewarded with glaring glances, and even with severe remarks, he succeeded in gaining the foot of the staircase, and came within reach of the persons for whom he had been waiting. These were Mrs. Damerel and f.a.n.n.y French. The elder lady exhibited a toilet of opulence corresponding with her mature charms; the younger, as became a _debutante_, wore graceful white, symbol of her maiden modesty.
'You promised to be early,' said Horace, addressing Mrs. Damerel, but regarding f.a.n.n.y, who stood in conversation with a florid man of uncertain age.
'Couldn't get here before, my dear boy.'
'Surely you haven't brought that fellow with you?'
'Hus.h.!.+ You mustn't talk in that way. We met at the door. Mrs. Dane knows him. What does it matter?'
Horace moved aside to f.a.n.n.y. Flushed with excitement, her hair adorned with flowers, she looked very pretty.
'Come along,' he said, gripping her hand more violently than he intended. 'Let us get upstairs.'
'Oh, you hurt me! Don't be so silly.'
The man beside her gave Horace a friendly nod. His name was Mankelow.
Horace had met him once or twice of late at Mrs. Damerel's, but did not like him, and felt still less disposed to do so now that Mankelow was acquainted with f.a.n.n.y French. He suspected that the two were more familiar than f.a.n.n.y pretended. With little ceremony, he interposed himself between the girl and this possible rival.
'Why didn't you make her come earlier?' he said to f.a.n.n.y, as they began a slow upward struggle in the rear of Mrs. Damerel.
'It isn't fas.h.i.+onable to come early.'
'Nonsense! Look at the people here already.'
f.a.n.n.y threw up her chin, and glanced back to see that Mankelow was following. In his vexation, Horace was seized with a cough--a cough several times repeated before he could check it.
'Your cold's no better,' said f.a.n.n.y. 'You oughtn't to have come out at night.'
'It _is_ better,' he replied sharply. 'That's the first time I've coughed to-day. Do you mean you would rather not have found me here?'
'How silly you are! People will hear what you're saying.'
It was f.a.n.n.y's 'first season,' but not her first 'at home.' Mrs. Damerel seemed to be taking an affectionate interest in her, and had introduced her to several people. Horace, gratified in the beginning, now suffered from jealousy; it tortured him to observe f.a.n.n.y when she talked with men. That her breeding was defective, mattered nothing in this composite world of pseudo-elegance. Young Lord, who did not lack native intelligence, understood by this time that Mrs. Damerel and her friends were far from belonging to a high order of society; he saw vulgarity rampant in every drawing-room to which he was admitted, and occasionally heard things which startled his suburban prejudices. But f.a.n.n.y, in her wild enjoyment of these novel splendours, appeared to lose all self-control. She flirted outrageously, and before his very eyes. If he reproached her, she laughed at him; if he threatened to free himself, she returned a look which impudently bade him try. Horace had all her faults by heart, and no longer tried to think that he respected her, or that, if he married such a girl, his life could possibly be a happy one; but she still played upon his pa.s.sions, and at her beck he followed like a dog.
The hostess, Mrs. Dane, a woman who looked as if she had once been superior to the kind of life she now led, welcomed him with peculiar warmth, and in a quick confidential voice bade him keep near her for a few minutes.
'There's some one I want to introduce you to--some one I'm sure you will like to know.'
Obeying her, he soon lost sight of f.a.n.n.y; but Mrs. Dane continued to talk, at intervals, in such a flattering tone, that his turbid emotions were soothed. He had heard of the Chittles? No? They were very old friends of hers, said Mrs. Dane, and she particularly wanted him to know them. Ah, here they came; mother and daughter. Horace observed them.
Mrs. Chittle was a frail, worn, nervous woman, who must once have been comely; her daughter, a girl of two-and-twenty, had a pale, thin face of much sweetness and gentleness. They seemed by no means at home in this company; but Mrs. Chittle, when she conversed, a.s.sumed a vivacious air; the daughter, trying to follow her example, strove vainly against an excessive bashfulness, and seldom raised her eyes. Why he should be expected to pay special attention to these people, Horace was at a loss to understand; but Mrs. Chittle attached herself to him, and soon led him into familiar dialogue. He learnt from her that they had lived for two or three years in a very quiet country place; they had come up for the season, but did not know many people. She spoke of her daughter, who stood just out of earshot,--her eyes cast down, on her face a sad fixed smile,--and said that it had been necessary almost to force her into society. 'She loves the country, and is so fond of books; but at her age it's really a shame to live like a nun--don't you think so, Mr. Lord?'
Decidedly it was, said Horace. 'I'm doing my best,' pursued Mrs.
Chittle, 'to cure her of her shyness. She is really afraid of people--and it's such a pity. She says that the things people talk about don't interest her; but _all_ people are not frivolous--are they, Mr.
Lord?' Horace hoped not; and presently out of mere good-nature he tried to converse with the young lady in a way that should neither alarm her shyness nor prove distasteful to her intelligence. But with very little success. From time to time the girl glanced at him with strange timidity, yet seemed quite willing to listen as long as he chose to talk.
f.a.n.n.y, being at a considerable distance from home, was to return to the boarding-house where her chaperon now lived, and have a room there for the night. Horace disliked this arrangement, for the objectionable Mankelow lived in the same house. When he was able to get speech with f.a.n.n.y, he tried to persuade her to go with him all the way home to Camberwell in a cab. Miss. French would not listen to the suggestion.
'Who ever heard of such a thing? It wouldn't be proper.'
'Proper! Oh, I like that!' he replied, with scathing irony.