A Certain Middle-Aged Man’s VRMMO Activity Log c32

Toaru Ossan no VRMMO Katsudouki

—

[“O-i, Earth-kun, can you hear me~? It’s Rona.”]

That Whisper flew in after I’d somewhat recovered from my orz and had stood up;
It’s rare for one to come from Rona.

Clackclackclackclack…

[“Aa, I hear you. If you only need to talk I’m ok.”]

Sizzzzle…

[‘that so. I’ve got something I want to discuss, is that fine?”]

Swayswaysway

[“About making food right? For your Fairy.”]

– A, thanks for waiting. Over here you wanted a Fairy’s portion, right?

[“Aré? How did you know what I wanted to say?”]

– It will be a bit of a wait until the next batch is complete~.

[“Right now there’s a ton of players asking the exact same thing!”]

Right now I’m ma.s.s-producing, not fried chicken nuggets, but Fried Rabbit Nuggets1.

It’s kind of become a stall that specializes in fried meat.

How did it get to this.
I reflect on what happened 30 minutes ago while being soothed by a sheep-like Fairy nuzzling against my leg. This little one’s master is right in front of the stall stuffing his cheeks with fried meat.

A, I’ve stowed away the dangerous attachments on my shoes, alright?
I’m not wearing them because the Fairies keep dropping in to nuzzle against me.

After Fairy Seducer’s notoriety became set in stone (I don’t want to accept it, but it can’t be helped) it was probably about 10 minutes after I accepted it and stood up?

Is he going to buy some food? But just when I was thinking that …

“’Scuse me, do you have any food items for this guy (Fairy)?”

Is what he asked for.

It eats fruit, but just eating fruit seems a bit unfortunate.

The player who is the sheep-like Fairy’s master’s shoulders slumped.
He sure loves it, naa.

When I try and feed it a Boiled Horned Rabbit Steak it immediately chowed down.

Is it okay not take it from your master, oi; though I’m making a retort, it must have been hungry since it’s single-mindedly eating.

The sheep’s master and I faced each other in silence.

I flung back, “What the h.e.l.l!2”
I should see whether or not I can make a Tsukkomi Harisen (though out of iron).3

Anyway, we’ve established that it will eat food made for players.

Since the steak was something I fed it as an experiment, I didn’t charge him.
I’m just happy it was resolved.

With that settled, the next thing we want is “something that satisfies for the cheapest price.”

“To spoil them you have to let them eat something good, yo!” When I retorted, the reason he gave was …

“This guy, he eats an awful lot ….”

He tearfully complains.

Anyway this guy eats really well.

If it’s 4 pieces of NPC bread the food costs aren’t too extravagant, but when it comes to feeding it the same food players eat the situation changes.
Looks like his Engel’s coefficient4 jumped up; why is this starting to feel like we’re adjusting a family budget …

With the situation at that degree he’s been going around begging for cooks to do anything they can to help.

For that, fried meat would perfectly hit the target.

Making the marinade is a little bit of a ha.s.sle, but time-wise it’s nothing big; using a heavier flavored seasoning will shorten the time the rabbit meat will need to marinate.

After that we’ll use the [Cooking] Art to further shorten the time.

Although salt and pepper are expensive, buying just one portion of soy sauce gives me a large volume, and the price for garlic is also reduced since you can’t eat it on its own.

This time I’m only doing this separate to help people out.

This will probably sell pretty well; though it’s only a recipe I’ve made through a rush order, somehow there are players appearing to order it called through Whisper.
Furthermore, I’m getting kind of a bad feeling.

“Um, what’s going … on?”

The response was simple.

“I just told my friends that there’s cheap and easy food being put out here.”

It really came … Aa, it’s the beginning of the war, the cooking war …
I’m going to be logging out late again, dazé…

[“And so I’m now in the middle of a Cooking Frenzy.”]

I convey all this to Rona while continuing to do all this cooking.

With an improved meal for Fairies out, it wasn’t just the sheep Fairy in a bind; a lot of customers are coming by, ee.

Just to say it again, “How did it get to this!”

Maa, in real life the marinade would drop in quality, and while frying the oil would become dirty; since these don’t happen it’s probably pretty easygoing.

Looks like this is going to be my daily activity everyday.

SKILLS

[Wind Magic]Lv43   [Craftsmans.h.i.+p]Lv42

[Thief]Lv30   [Whip]Lv32

Reserved Skill(s)
[Blacksmithing]Lv25   [Woodworking]Lv24   [Alchemy]Lv35

ExP 16

Fairies are also greedy; the food requests increase.
Earth’s sufferings continue from hereon!

kara’age – It’s not that pre-processed chicken sawdust type nugget, but more like boneless fried chicken in bite-sized pieces. Meat is cut up into bite sized pieces, marinated, lightly coated in starch, and then deep-fried. Kara’age, though actually a term referring to the way of cooking, typically refers to chicken kara’age as it’s the most common kara’age made. Which is why Earth bothers pointing out that what he’s using is what I a.s.sume to be Horned Rabbit Meat. Poor Horned Rabbits, forever at the bottom of the food chain. nandeyanen – a kansai-dialect trademark saying, used as a comedic response to stupid or foolish sayings/actions. The sheep’s master manages to elicit this extremely stereotypical “what the h.e.l.l” response from Earth, subtly hinting at Earth’s inner tsukkomi potential. tsukkomi – I didn’t translate “tsukkomi” in this instance because it was written in katakana instead of the usual kanji. A tsukkomi is a retort on comedic/foolish actions. Generally known for the comedy given between a person who plays the fool (boke) and a person who points out the fool’s foolishness (tsukkomi), or the straight man. The straight man gives the tsukkomi, which can also be considered as the punchline to a joke.

Ah… Earth? An iron harisen is basically a weapon you know? Engel’s coefficient – Quick answer: the proportion of money spent on food in a family budget. Long answer: In this case, even though his earnings have increased, the sheep’s master is still going broke since the proportion of the money spent on food increased at a more drastic rate. Yay economics?