The Gay Rebellion Part 8

"Why, what a perfectly astonis.h.i.+ng----"

"Not very. Look me over and tell me what points count against me. I know I'm not good-looking, but I'd like to go into training for the bench--I mean----"

"Mr. Langdon," she said slowly, "surely you would not care to develop the featureless symmetry and the--the monotonous perfection necessary to----"

"Yes, I would. I wish to become superficially monotonous. I'm too varied; I realise that. I want to resemble that make-up I wore----"

"That! Goodness! What a horrid idea----"

"Horrid? Didn't you like it well enough to net me?"

"I--there was nothing expressive of my personal taste in my capturing you--I mean the kind of a man you appeared to be. It was my duty--a purely scientific matter----"

"I don't care what it was. You went after me. You wouldn't go after me as I now appear. I want you to tell me what is lacking in me which would prevent you going after me again--from a purely scientific standpoint."

She sat breathing irregularly, rather rapidly, pretty head bent, apparently considering her hands, which lay idly in her lap. Then she lifted her blue eyes and inspected him. And it was curious, too, that, now when she came to examine him, she did not seem to discover any faults.

"My nose doesn't suit you, does it?" he asked candidly.

"Why, yes," she said innocently, "it suits me."

"That's funny," he reflected. "How about my ears?"

"They seem to be all right," she admitted.

"Do you think so?"

"They seem to me to be perfectly good ears."

"That's odd. What is there queer about my face?"

She looked in vain for imperfections.

"Why, do you know, Mr. Langdon, I don't seem to notice anything that is not entirely and agreeably cla.s.sical."

"But--my legs are thin."

"Not very."

"Aren't they too thin?"

"Not too thin... . Perhaps you might ride a bicycle for a few days----"

"I will!" he exclaimed with a boyish enthusiasm which lighted up his face so attractively that she found it fascinating to watch.

"Do you know," she said slowly, "the chances are that I would have netted you anyway. It just occurred to me."

"Without my make-up?" he asked, in delighted surprise.

"I think so. Why not?" she replied, looking at him with growing interest. "I don't see anything the matter with you."

"My chest improver exploded," he ventured, being naturally honest.

"I don't think you require it."

"Don't you? That is the nicest thing you ever said to me."

"It's only the truth," she said, flus.h.i.+ng a trifle in her intense interest. "And, as far as your legs are concerned, I really do not believe you need a bicycle or anything else... . In fact--in fact--I don't see why you shouldn't go with me to the University if--if you--care to----"

"You darling!"

"Mr. Langdon! Wh-what a perfectly odd thing to s-say to me!"

"I didn't mean it," he said with enthusiasm; "I really didn't mean it. What I meant was--you know--don't you?"

She did not reply. She was absorbed in contemplating one small thumb.

"I'm all ready to go," he ventured.

She said nothing.

"Shall we?"

She looked up, looked into his youthful eyes. After a moment she rose, a trifle pale. And he followed beside her through the sun-lit woods.

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VIII.

AT the gate of the New Race University and Masculine Beauty Preserve the pretty gate-keeper on duty looked at Langdon, then at his fair captor, in unfeigned astonishment.

"Why, Ethra!" she said, "is that all you've brought home?"

"Did you think I was going to net a dozen?" asked Ethra Leslie, warmly. "Please unlock the gate. Mr. Langdon is tired and hungry, and I want the Regents to finish with him quickly so that he can have some luncheon."

The gate-keeper, a distractingly pretty red-haired girl, regarded Langdon with dubious hazel eyes.

"He'll never pa.s.s the examination," she whispered to Ethra. "What on earth are you thinking of?"

"What are you thinking of, Marcella? You must be perfectly blind not to see that he complies with every possible requisite! The Regents' inspection is bound to be only a brief formality. Be good enough to unbar the gates."

Marcella slowly drew the ma.s.sive bolts; hostile criticism was in the gaze with which she swept Langdon.

"Well, of all the insignificant looking young men," she murmured to herself as Ethra and her acquisition walked away along the path, side by side.

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IX.

THE collective and individual charms of the Board of Regents so utterly over-powered Langdon that he scarcely realised what was happening to him.

First, at their request, he sat cross-legged on the ground; and they walked round and round him, inspecting him. Under such conditions no man could be at his best; there was a silly expression on his otherwise attractive face, which, as their att.i.tude toward him seemed to waver between indifference and disapproval, became unconsciously appealing.

"Kindly rise, Mr. Langdon," said Miss Challis, chairman of the board.

Langdon got up, and his ears turned red with a sudden and burning self-consciousness.

"Please walk past us two or three times, varying your speed."

He walked in the various styles to which he had been accustomed, changing speed at intervals and running the entire gamut between a graceful boulevard saunter and a lost-dog sprint.

"Now," said the beautiful chairman, "be good enough to run past us several times."

He complied and they studied his kangaroo-like action. Miss Vining even bent over and felt of his ankles doubtfully, and to his vivid confusion Miss Darrell strolled up, made him sit down on a log, placed one soft, white finger on his mouth, and, opening it coolly, examined the interior. Then they drew together, consulting in whispers, then Miss Challis came with a stethoscope and listened to his pneumatic machinery, while Miss Vining carelessly pinched his biceps and tried his reflexes. After which Miss Darrell pushed a thermometer into his mouth, measured his pulses and blood pressure, tested his sight and hearing and his sense of smell. The latter was intensely keen, as he was very hungry.

Then Miss Challis came and stood behind him and examined, phrenologically, the b.u.mps on his head, while Miss Vining, seated at his feet, read his palm, and Miss Darrell produced a dream book and a pack of cards, and carefully cast his horoscope. But, except that it transpired that he was going to take a journey, that somebody was going to leave him money, and that a dark lady was coming over the sea to trouble him, nothing particularly exciting was discovered concerning him.

Miss Challis, relinquis.h.i.+ng his head, produced a crystal and gazed into it. She did not say what she saw there. Miss Vining tried to hypnotise him and came near hypnotising herself. Which scared and irritated her; and she let him very carefully alone after that.

And all the while Ethra sat on a tree stump, hands tightly clasped in her lap, looking on with pathetic eagerness and timidly searching the pretty faces of the Board of Regents for any hopeful signs.

Presently the Board retired to a neighbouring cave to confer; and Langdon drew a deep breath of relief.

"Well," he said, smiling at Ethra, "what do you think?"

"It will be horrid of them if they don't award you a blue ribbon," she said.

"Good heavens!" he faltered, "do they give ribbons?"

"Certainly, first, second, third, and honourable mention. It is the scientific and proper method of cla.s.sification."

Fury empurpled his visage.

"That's the limit!" he shouted, but she silenced him with a gesture, nodding her head toward the surrounding woods; and among the trees he caught sight of scores and scores of pretty girls furtively observing the proceedings.

"Don't let them see you display any temper or you'll lose their good will, Mr. Langdon. Please recollect that there is no sentiment in this proceeding; it is a scientific matter to be scientifically recorded--purely a matter of eugenics."

Langdon gazed around him at the distant and charming faces peeping at him from behind trees and bushes. Everywhere bright eyes met his mischievously, gaily. An immense sense of happiness began to invade him. The enraptured and fatuous smile on his features now became almost idiotic as here and there, among the trees, he caught glimpses of still more young girls strolling about, arms interlacing one another's waists. The prospect dazzled him; his wits spun like a humming top.

"Are--are many ladies likely to come and--and court me?" he asked timidly of Ethra.

A quick little pang shot through her; but she said with a forced smile: "Why do you ask? Are you a coquette, Mr. Langdon?"

"Oh, no! But, for example, I wouldn't mind being rushed by that willowy blonde over there. I'd also like to meet the svelte one with store puffs and sorrel hair. She is a looker, isn't she?"

"She is certainly very pretty," said Ethra, biting her lips with unfeigned vexation.

He gazed entranced at the distant throng for a while.

"And that little grey-eyed romp--the very young and slim one," he continued enthusiastically. "Me for a hammock with her in the goosy-goosy moonlight... . And I hope I'm going to meet a lot more--every one of 'em... . What on earth is that?" he exclaimed, changing countenance and leaning forward. "By Jinks, it's a man!"

"Certainly. There are four men here. You knew that."

"I forgot," he said, glowering at the unwelcome sight of his own s.e.x.

Ethra said: "Oh, yes, there are those first four men we caught--Mr. Willett, Mr. Carrick, Mr. Smith, and Mr. Green." She added carelessly: "I have been paying rather marked attention to Alphonso W. Green."

"To whom?" he asked, with a disagreeable sensation drenching out the sparks of joy in his bosom.

"To Alphonso W. Green... . And I've jollied De Lancy Smith with bon-bons a bit, too. They are having a lot of attention paid them--and they're rather spoiled. But, of course, any girl can marry any one of them if she really wants to."

Langdon gazed miserably at her; she seemed to be pleasantly immersed in her own reflections and paid no further heed to him. Then he cast a scowling glance in the direction of the young man who was gathering wild flowers and arranging them in a little basket.

"Ethra," he began--and stopped short under the sudden and unexpected unfriendliness of her glance. "Miss Leslie," he resumed, reddening, "I wouldn't have come here unless I thought--hoped--believed--that you would pay me m-m-marked----"

"Mr. Langdon!"

"What?"

"Men do not a.s.sume the initiative here. They make no advances; they wait until a girl pays them attentions so unmistakable that----"

"Well, I did come here because of you!" he blurted out angrily.

"That is an exceedingly indelicate avowal!" she retorted. "If the Regents hear you talk that way you won't be permitted to receive any girl unchaperoned."

He gazed at her, bewildered; she stood a moment frowning and looking in the direction of the cave whither the Board of Regents had retired.

"They're calling me," she exclaimed as a figure appeared at the cave entrance and beckoned her.

"I won't be long, Mr. Langdon. I am perfectly confident that you have pa.s.sed the inspection!" And she walked swiftly across to the edge of the thicket where the three Regents stood outside their cave.