Ice Planet Barbarians: Barbarian's Redemption Part 7

To the one that scares me more than all of the others. The one that tackled me the moment I stepped near the fallen creature. The one that put his hands all over me and sent me into a blind panic. I vaguely remember kicking his jaw, but I also remember that he'd pinned me against him and held my face so the others could cut me, and I'd loathed every moment of that.

I also remember his voice, soft and soothing, as if trying to comfort me. It doesn't fit with my memories, though, so I discard that and stare up at him accusingly.

"You," he murmurs, dropping the blanket to crouch near me. He looks thoughtful, and then a slow, hungry smile spreads over his face as he watches me. His hand presses to his heart, and I can hear his cootie humming in time with mine, the din of them drowning my senses.

I watch him, uncertain what he's going to do now. Throw me onto the snow and force himself on me? It doesn't matter that the others are nearby-I don't know these people and what they're capable of. I do know that they don't give two s.h.i.+ts about nudity, because I've seen a lot of blue beefcake-and human women, too-in the few days that we've been at their village.

"My mate. I should have known," he says in a low voice, his eyes bright. "Such a little fighter."

I don't feel like fighting right now. I want to burrow back under the blankets and hide away from the world. I want this all to be a bad dream. Instead, I think of his big hands as he'd grabbed me earlier, and I'm filled with sheer, unrelenting fear. This one is going to touch me, and it's going to hurt. How can it not? He handled me so roughly just a short time ago, and I stretch one filthy arm out, looking for bruises, because I'm still hurting. Sure enough, there are fingermarks on my arm where he'd gripped me. I look down at them and at him accusingly.

He sees them, and the look on his face is nothing short of horror. And that...surprises me. I was expecting a 'I told you not to run' or a 'That's what happens when you misbehave' or a 'Get used to it, b.i.t.c.h' sort of comment. I certainly don't expect him to go pale, his throat working as if he's having a hard time swallowing.

"Was that from me?" he asks.

I just glare at him. What, does he think I magically bruise myself while I'm sleeping?

Bek scrubs a hand over his face, the hard lines of his mouth pulling down even more. "I am...ashamed. Forgive me." He extends a hand out, reaching for my arm. "Let me see it."

I shrink back, my stomach churning at the thought of letting him touch me. Touches aren't good. They lead to other things. I've seen that happen too many times before.

"What are you doing?" someone calls out, and I realize it's Liz.

Bek turns toward her, and as he does, I reach out and s.n.a.t.c.h my blankets back. He looks back at me, surprise on his face, and our eyes meet. For a moment, it's like I'm sinking into his bright blue gaze. I'm trapped there, and my cootie hums and sings in my chest even louder, making my nipples tingle and ache against the thick leather of my tunic. He seems to hold his breath, and the air around us feels electric.

And G.o.d, I am ridiculously wet, my pulse pounding so hard it feels as if my cootie's making it sing, too.

Liz's boots crunch in the snow as she approaches, and she frowns at Bek, who's still kneeling far too close to me. "You're not supposed to..." Her voice dies away, and her eyes widen. "Oh, you've gotta be f.u.c.king kidding me. You two are resonating?" She shoots a horrified look back and forth from me to Bek and then back to me again.

Bek straightens, his body tall and strong and delicious and alarming all at the same time. His tail flicks as he stands, annoyed. "She is my mate. Our khuis have chosen."

I might be wrong, but it sounds like there's pride in his voice. If so, I suspect that not even my layer of dirt is going to protect me from his attentions. For some reason, the thought makes me squeeze my thighs tighter together.

Liz arches an eyebrow at him and then looks down at me. "Yeah, well, she doesn't look thrilled."

"She will be," he says, all confidence.

"That so?" She c.o.c.ks her head at me. "Elly, are you thrilled?"

I don't look over at Bek. I just give a small shake of my head, clinging to my blanket.

"Think you'll be thrilled in the next five minutes?"

Again, I shake my head.

"Next day?"

Still no.

"Okay then, I'm stepping in." She steps fearlessly between us, as if Bek isn't enormous and bulky and scary, and puts a hand on his chest. "You go away. I'm sitting with Elly and guarding her until we get back to the village."

Bek scowls. "She is my mate. We are resonating. You-"

"You need to talk to the chief, Mr. Rule Breaker. As long as Elly's scared of you, you're not breathing the same air as her. Understand?" She puts her hands on her hips. "Or did I miss the part where you grabbed her and flung her around and forced her to get her khui?"

His face goes bleak for a moment and then stiffens into something like a scowl. "She must have a khui."

"Yeah, well, there are ways to do it and ways not to do it. You and Raahosh must have been comparing notes or something."

Somewhere near the fire, it sounds like Raahosh snorts.

I should speak up. Say something. Take charge of my own life. Tell Liz what I want. Tell Bek to go away and leave me alone. But the words die in my throat and I can't get anything to come out.

The other humans move away from the fire, and I notice that Summer, Kate, Brooke and Gail have bright blue glowing eyes now. Mine must be glowing, too, though my vision looks the same. To a one they all frown at Bek as they walk past and come sit in the snow next to me. They sit close, but not too close that I panic. It's a show of solidarity and sisterhood from women I've never spoken to, and the knot in my throat seems to get suddenly huge.

Someday, I'm going to tell them thank you. For now, I just press my fist over my breast and wish my cootie would stop humming so mercilessly.

BEK.

Of course it is Ell-ee who is to be mine, I muse as we head back to the village. My heart is full of joy. I do not even mind that the other humans walk with Ell-ee at the front of the group and I walk at the back with no company except Raahosh. That is fine-they will not be able to separate us forever. Resonance will not allow it.

The other hunters sneak me envious looks; no one has resonated but myself and Ell-ee. They will have to wait for resonance to choose them at a later date, if it will choose at all.

Resonance.

Just thinking about it makes my khui begin a slow, steady song. It has finally happened, and my female...she is perfect.

Well, she smells bad enough that my eyes water being near her, and she will not speak, but I know Ell-ee is the mate I have been waiting for. Even when she is at her most afraid, she does not cry. She is brave. Determined. Clever.

Mine. The thought fills me with pride. Over time, perhaps she will learn to enjoy was.h.i.+ng. For now, I am more concerned that she is so frightened of me. Can she not speak, ever? Or does she choose not to? Would one of the other humans know? I focus my gaze on the one called Chail, who has taken a motherly role with the other females. Even now, she rubs an arm over the pink one's shoulders, encouraging her.

Chail would know if Ell-ee can speak.

I jog forward, ignoring Raahosh's muttered curse. He does not pursue me when I move to stand next to Chail and walk next to her. They want me to keep away from my mate. I ignore the anger that burns in my gut at the thought and focus on Chail.

She notices I am walking at her side and gives me a side glance. When I do not leave, she frowns. "Can I help you with something?"

Her words are polite, but it is strange; her tone does not indicate she wishes to help at all. "I have questions for you."

"You a.s.sume I want to talk to your blue a.s.s."

"Not my a.s.s," I correct her. "You can talk to my face."

Chail gives herself a little shake, her brows scrunching down. "Are you f.u.c.king with me?"

"No. I wish to ask you questions about Ell-ee."

"And if I don't feel like talking to you?"

It is my turn to frown. Why will she not speak with me? "I only wish to learn more about my mate. You know her better than I do."

"Yeah, I do," Chail says slowly, shrugging her fur wraps tighter around her small body. "And I'm sure that she's not happy to be your mate."

I look up ahead, at the stiff-backed figure of the one who is my mate. She seems so fragile and alone, even though Leezh and Harrec flank her. "Why does she not speak?"

"Maybe she doesn't want to talk to you."

I turn to her. "So she talks to you?" I am relieved. If this is true, it means I can win over her affections. In time, she will speak to me.

But Chail purses her lips. After a moment, she shakes her head slowly. "No, she doesn't talk to me. She doesn't talk to anyone. But I know she can speak." She glances up at me. "I've heard her say things in her nightmares. And they weren't good nightmares, just FYI."

The urge to protect my mate rushes through me, and I clench my fist on my spear, resisting the need to rush to her side and pull her close to me, to comfort her for past memories. "So she chooses not to talk." She is strong-willed, my mate. I feel fierce pride at that, even if I am frustrated by her silence. "Did something happen that makes her afraid to speak?"

"You'll have to ask her."

I will. Perhaps she will even answer me. But not today. I look down at Chail again. "Can you tell me anything else about her?"

She does not seem happy at my questions. "Why do you want to know?"

Did I not make that obvious? "I wish to learn more about my mate. I want to know what pleases her. I want to make her happy."

Chail gives a little snort. "What would make her happy is not resonating to you, but I guess that's off the table. Is it true that it's unbreakable? Resonance?"

I confirm this with a nod. "Many were initially displeased with their mates before they realized their khui had truly chosen the right person. Resonance always wins."

Chail hums over this. "And what happens if you try to ignore it? If you fight it?"

Humans always ask this. Always, the answer is the same. "Resonance chooses. It is foolish to fight it."

"Yeah, well, I'm not asking if it's smart. I'm asking what happens."

"The need to mate grows greater with every day. It will make you weak and miserable until you accept it." I rub my chest, where even now, my khui is singing low, waiting for another glimpse of its chosen mate. "But resonance is what everyone hopes for. It brings mates together and brings new life to the tribe. It is a good thing. As her mate, I will take care of Ell-ee and see that she is happy."

Chail ignores my proud words. "So basically this cootie thing is going to force her to have your babies." She shoots a skeptical look at me. "And here I thought you guys said we weren't slaves."

I scowl. "You belong to no one. Why would you think that?"

"The cootie's making her be your wife. How is that her choice?" She glares up at me. "How do I know the moment our backs are turned you're not going to grab her and rape her? Hold her down until she 'accepts' your mating?" She wiggles her fingers in the air.

I watch them, confused. "What is that?"

"What is what?"

"This?" I wiggle my fingers at her. "Is it like this?" I show her my middle finger, a gesture that Leezh has made a lot of use of in the past few seasons.

"Been flipped off a few times, have you?" Chail has a strange look on her expressive face. "Those are air quotes, and don't change the subject. Are you going to rape her?"

I am offended she would think such a thing. Ell-ee is mine to cherish, mine to protect. I would never harm her or force myself upon her. "It angers me that you even ask that."

"Put yourself in my place. You think how safe you'd feel if you were in my position? I've seen you with her."

And that makes me silent, because I did grab her near the sa-kohtsk when she tried to run. I think of the marks on her thin, dirty arm and feel shame. And I think of the collar that Trakan put on her, and my gut twists. Chail is right not to trust. "I do not wish to hurt her. I wish to..." I choke on the words, overcome all at once by the joy and frustration and emotion of having a mate after all this time. "I wish to...love her. I want nothing more than her happiness."

"Well, then you would be the first," Chail says drily. "Let me tell you what I know about Elly, then. I know that her last master used to keep her collared like a dog and made her crawl around on all fours, naked, just to humiliate her. He didn't think humans were smart or feeling, so he left a shock collar on her all the time. I know that she doesn't trust anyone, even me. I know she won't eat if she doesn't trust the food given to her. I know she has nightmares. I know she's terrified of being touched, and when she's scared, she retreats to small, tight s.p.a.ces to hide. That tells me she's been abused in the past, quite a bit."

Each word she speaks feels like a knife. She is telling me such horrors...about my mate. I cannot bear it. "Stop," I say hoa.r.s.ely. "These cannot be."

"Why not? You think everyone's all happy and Brady Bunch-like your tribe? You bought slaves, my friend. You know who buys slaves from a slave market? Depraved, sick sons of b.i.t.c.hes that don't have an ounce of compa.s.sion. To them, we're not people. We're currency."

Some of her words make no sense to me, but there is a vehemence in her tone that tells me everything. "I only asked for females to be brought to our tribe so our unmated hunters could have families."

"You. Bought. Slaves. Don't think anyone's going to forget that anytime soon." Chail's voice is sharp. "I've been a slave for eighteen months now, and let me tell you, it's h.e.l.l. I've been beaten, whipped, slapped, fed garbage, sold to strangers, and treated like an animal. And that was only eighteen months. I feel like I've aged eighteen years in the time I've been captured." She gives a slow shake of her head. "Elly's never said, but I can tell in her eyes-that girl's been in this system for years. Maybe even longer. Who knows what it's done to her."

I cannot think. All I can do is stare at the small, straight back of my female. My dirty, silent female.

My female who hates to be touched.

"I will not touch her unless she asks me to," I tell Chail. "You have my word."

"Honey," she says with a small, bitter little laugh. "I don't trust your word for s.h.i.+t."

"A shunning," Vektal announces when we return to the village.

I was surprised when the entire village met us as we returned from the sa-kohtsk hunt. A celebration is being held in the long-house, as the humans call it, and I can smell food roasting, and Farli has already started decorating her mate with her painted symbols. The humans are embraced and welcomed into the tribe.

All except for Ell-ee, of course, who does not want to be touched.

News of our resonance trickles through the tribe, and my chief strides forward, his mate at his side. Everyone waits, watching us. And that is when he p.r.o.nounces his decision.

A decision I am not sure I understand.

"Eh?" A shunning? This is something I have not heard. I look at Vektal's mate, the still-angry-at-me Shors.h.i.+e. Her arms are crossed over her chest, and the look on her face is resolute. This is her idea, then. "What is that?"

"It's clear that you don't have the tribe's best interests at heart," Shors.h.i.+e begins.

Do not have the tribe's best interests at heart? Did I not ask for enough humans for all of the unmated hunters? How is that selfish? I scowl in her direction.

She continues, her mate nodding approval. "So because you decide you don't need the tribe's laws," Shors.h.i.+e continues, "We have decided that we don't need you. You're officially shunned from the tribe. No one will acknowledge that you are here. You are not welcome in the long-house. You're not welcome in any of the tribe's huts or at any fire. You will be ignored by any and everyone in the tribe as if you don't exist."

This is...the most foolish thing I have ever heard. Ignored? Ridiculous. "I am a hunter. You will need me to hunt."