Mother's Remedies Part 181

If the wedding is at home, the street and number are given in place of the church.

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If the bride has no mother, the invitations are issued in the name of the father; if no father, the mother's name is used. If an orphan, invitations are issued in the name of the nearest of kin in the town where the wedding occurs. If a married sister and her husband issue, the words "their sister" are used. If a girl has a stepfather her own name is engraved in full. Announcement cards follow the same rules as to who issues them, and are couched in these words:

Mr. and Mrs. Hughson Smith announce the marriage of their sister Bettina to Mr. James Rhodes Grayson, on Monday, the tenth of January, Nineteen hundred and ten, at the Church of the Messiah, in the City of Cleveland.

For a home wedding, this formula is correct:

My dear Mrs. Jennings: My daughter Julia is to be married to Mr. George Bronson Holmes on Monday, the tenth of January, at twelve o'clock, and it will give Mr.

Brush and myself much pleasure if you and Mr. Jennings will come.

Yours sincerely, Eleanor Graves Brush.

For informal church weddings, with small reception to follow, or for a simple home wedding, most people prefer to use the engraved cards, but personal notes may with perfect propriety take their place. For a home wedding, the above formula is correct.

The Bridegroom's Family.

In inviting the bridegroom's parents by note, the mother may write: "Will you and Mr. Holmes come to the quiet informal wedding of my daughter Julia and your son on Monday," etc. Such invitations are written by the mother.

Other members of the family are included by adding "you and Mr. Jennings and your daughter will come." Written invitations may follow the form of the engraved, but for a small wedding at home, which will be of course more or less informal, the personal form seems more in keeping.

Other Items.

Formal wedding invitations and announcements are addressed, one to the head of the family, Mr. and Mrs. Jones; one to Miss Jones, or to The Misses Jones, if there are several daughters, and one to each young man of the family.

Note that the year is given in an announcement, but not in an invitation.

Announcements are engraved on note-paper, as in the case of invitations.

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A double wedding, which requires two ceremonies, also requires two sets of invitations and announcements.

It is quite correct for a girl who has been employed in an office to send an announcement of her marriage to her former employer, but if he is married, it must be addressed to "Mr. and Mrs." So-and-So.

Do not abbreviate in writing notes of invitation, nor permit it on engraved invitations. Doctor, Judge, Reverend, are to be in full. Mr.

before a man's name is the only abbreviation permitted. The names of the month, day, year, and of the street or avenue are written out in full.

DINNERS AND LUNCHEONS

FORMAL DINNERS.

"A fig for your bill of fare; show me your bill of company,"

As has already been remarked, we ask our "dear Five Hundred" to our b.a.l.l.s and receptions, reserving our dinner invitations for those whom we particularly wish to compliment. The dinner we provide is by no means of the comfortable "pot-Iuck" kind. It is, in society, an elaborate and expensive form of entertainment. A dinner to eight people, not specially elaborate and without wines, rarely costs the giver less than $25 or $30, and may easily run much higher. It requires delicacies for the palate, flowers and bonbons and other decorations for the table, and ceremonious serving. The finest of linen, cut gla.s.s and silver adorn it, and the repast may easily be prolonged through two or more hours. Such a dinner is served in courses; begins with an appetizer, extends through soup, fish, joint, salad and dessert courses at the very least, and ends with coffee, served at the table or in some other apartment--the library or drawing room--where the guests converse over their cups.

Such a meal cannot be prepared or served without competent service in the kitchen and dining-room. The cook must know how to prepare every dish in the best manner, and have it ready at the right moment; the waiter must be experienced and noiseless. The hostess must have such perfect confidence that everything will progress in perfect and proper order that she can give her full attention to the guests,

Serving the Dinner.--Let us suppose a dinner for eight people is to be served. The ceremonious dinner, the world over, is served a la Russe, that is, according to the Russian fas.h.i.+on. By this fas.h.i.+on nothing but the covers--a term which includes the china, silver and gla.s.s at each plate--flowers, dishes of bonbons, salted nuts and olives, occasionally small cakes, are on the table when the guests are seated,

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The hostess has inspected the table, after it is laid, seeing that everything is correct, Silver must have had a fresh polish, the cut gla.s.s must s.h.i.+ne and sparkle, There must be plenty of light, yet no glare; to prevent this, ground gla.s.s globes on the electric lights are preferred.

The hostess herself will arrange the place cards, separating married people, and in so far as possible so seating her guests that each may be pleased with his or her neighbor. The centerpiece is of flowers; for this never choose a strongly scented flower like hyacinths or narcissi. The heat, the odor of the food, combined with the scent of the flowers, may induce lethargy, so that the dinner may be "garnished with stupidity."

There must be a service plate at each place. These are to be as handsome as you can afford. At the side of this is laid the dinner napkin, within which a roll is folded. The guest removes the napkin, unfolding it for use. The waitress removes the service plate and puts down another on which is a grapefruit, vermouth, or other kind of c.o.c.ktail. This plate and gla.s.s removed, there comes another plate, and little dishes of caviarre are pa.s.sed. These plates also disappear, others are subst.i.tuted, and soup is served. After the soup is eaten the soup plates are removed, leaving the other plates, and celery and radishes and salted nuts and olives are pa.s.sed, not necessarily all, but at least two, say celery and olives; nuts and radishes. If the little individual almond dishes are used, of course the salted nuts will not be pa.s.sed.

These plates are again changed when the fish is served, the rule being that at no time during the dinner must a guest be without a plate before him until the table is cleared for dessert. Moreover, the waitress, in placing plates that have a monogram or heraldic device for decoration, must so place the plate before each guest that the design faces him. In taking up the plates, one is taken up with the right hand while with the left the waitress replaces it with another; one plate is never placed upon another.

The fish, meat, and other courses are served from the pantry, the portions being arranged for convenience in helping, and garnished with parsley or lemon. The dish is pa.s.sed first to the guest seated at the host's right hand, next to the one on the left, and afterwards in regular rotation, irrespective of s.e.x. All service is at the left; this leaves the guest's right hand in position to help himself. The waitress holds the dish upon a folded napkin on the flat of her hand, and low down. Vegetables are pa.s.sed in the same fas.h.i.+on.

You will see how much depends upon having well trained servants at such a dinner. The service must be without haste, yet without delay; there must be no clatter of china and silver, no awkwardness in removing plates, etc.

The waitress must be quick to refill gla.s.ses or supply whatever is needed.

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The Help Required.--A dinner to twelve or fourteen guests cannot be served properly without two or three waiters--usually men at such large dinners--and additional help in the kitchen. So much thought and anxiety are required for the success of a home dinner party that it is small wonder many prefer to add a little to the expense, in cities at least, and order a dinner for the requisite number at hotel or club, where the responsibility rests with the management after the details of the menu are settled. Such a dinner is less of a compliment to one's guests than the entertainment at one's own home, however; and why should one possess stores of beautiful and expensive furnis.h.i.+ngs without their use?

One dinner generally means another a short time afterwards, since in selecting the small number who can be entertained one must necessarily leave out others who have equal claims to hospitality and whose sense of being slighted must be appeased. And if the hostess is socially prominent she may find herself embarked on a course of entertainments that will tax her time and her funds to a considerable degree.

Invitations to a dinner must be sent at least two weeks in advance. As has already been stated, an immediate and unconditional acceptance or regret is demanded.

Precedence.--At these formal dinners, the question of precedence engages the hostess's attention, If all the guests are about on equal terms, the host takes out the oldest or most prominent lady, seating her at his right. The other, guests are paired off according to the hostess's ideas of social propriety or congeniality. No man ever takes his wife in to dinner. The place of honor for men is at the hostess's right hand. Dinner cards, legibly written, are placed on the napkins. The men draw out the chairs and seat the ladies, then seat themselves. Generally, at a small dinner, the hostess tells each man before leaving the drawing room, whom he is to take out: at large functions, he finds in the men's cloak room an envelope addressed to him containing the lady's name. He seeks out his partner and gives her his arm when dinner is announced.

Be Prompt.--It is almost unpardonable for a guest to be late at a dinner.

The arrival should be within fifteen minutes of the time named on the invitation, never earlier. The hostess must be ready in ample time, and must appear calm and untroubled. Nervousness bespeaks the novice in entertaining. Generally, however, even if the affair pa.s.ses off without any contretemps she is ready to say "Thank heaven it's over!"

Now this is not to say that one may not serve a good and very enjoyable dinner or luncheon to a few friends, without as much trouble and expense as are here indicated. This is simply to state how such meals are served, formally and informally. Knowing the proper procedure one may adopt as much or as little as her circ.u.mstances and style of living warrant.

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THE INFORMAL DINNER

The informal dinner resembles the formal, save that fewer courses are served, the menu is simpler, and the decorations less elaborate. The serving is on the same order--a la Russe. If one is fortunate enough to have a maid who combines the experience of a waitress with the qualities of a good cook, by ingenious planning it is possible to serve six persons acceptably in the approved fas.h.i.+on.

But there are thousands of households in which but one maid is kept, and in this case what may be termed "the family dinner" will be found better, because there will be no endeavor to do more than one can accomplish with the means at her command. Better by far serve well and simply than attempt something more elaborate and fall short in it.

Family Dinners.--At the family dinner, the grape fruit or oyster c.o.c.ktail, or the raw oysters which form the first course, is on the table when the guests are seated. The grape fruit may be served in gla.s.ses, like the c.o.c.ktail. If oysters are served, the maid pa.s.ses the condiments. She then removes these plates, replacing them with service plates as she does so, and brings in the soup. This the hostess serves and the maid carries about. While this is being eaten--celery or olives being pa.s.sed after the guests are helped--the maid slips out in the kitchen to dish up the vegetables unless these are already in the warmer. Returning, she removes the soup-plates, never taking more than two at a time. She then brings on the joint or roast, placing it before the host, who proceeds to serve it.

(If oysters are served first, a fish course is generally omitted; indeed, so many courses tax one's resources too severely.) The maid carries about the dinner plates, removing the service plate with the right hand and placing the other with the left. She then pa.s.ses the vegetables. The serving begins with the lady at the host's right hand. If the piece de resistance is a turkey, white and dark meat and a portion of dressing are placed on each plate; gravy and the vegetables, then cranberry or currant jelly, are pa.s.sed. Here the waitress should refill water gla.s.ses.

The plates are then removed for the salad course, and the table cleared.

This should be ready on the plates, and kept where it will be perfectly cold. While this is being brought on, the hostess will start dishes of salted nuts and bonbons down the table, the guests pa.s.sing them. After the salad the plates are removed and the dessert brought in. This may be a mould of ice cream or a pudding; pie is seldom or never served. This the host or hostess serves. The coffee service may be brought in, and the hostess pours it; little cakes or wafers, or mints, are usually pa.s.sed with it; then the maid is excused from further service. The hostess always gives the signal for leaving the table by a slight nod toward the lady on her husband's right, and rising.

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Requirements.--A dinner of this kind requires a serving-table or sideboard where china and silver may be in readiness. Such an aid is even more indispensable where the hostess serves the meal herself. Many very enjoyable "company dinners" are served where the hostess is also the cook, and she and her husband serve. If one has daughters they should be taught how to serve, and may rise from the table to change plates and bring in courses with perfect propriety. In such case, the soup is served at the table and, as it is awkward to pa.s.s without spilling, some one should carry it about if more than two or three guests are present. The roast or fowl is carved by the host; vegetables are on the table and are pa.s.sed from hand to hand. After this course the hostess, or the daughter delegated to do this, clears the table and brings in the salad. The dessert follows. Coffee is occasionally served with the meat course, but it is better to bring it on with the dessert. Cups, etc., should be in readiness on the side table, to be transferred to the table. There should be an apparent absence of formality at such a meal, though everything should progress in regular order, systematically, quietly, without orders or clash. Above all things, see that everything likely to be wanted is at hand; nothing looks worse than someone jumping up to get some article that has been forgotten. If dishes, spoons or forks must be washed during the progress of the meal, have warm water ready in the kitchen, wash them quickly, and wipe them out of cold water; then their heat will not betray your limited resources.