Thereby Hangs a Tale Part 40

"E, double L, S," said Lady Rea, writing. "Don't shake me, Fin, there's a dear."

For Lady Rea had come undone at the back of her dress, and Fin was busy with a pin at her collar.

"Er-rum!" continued Sir Hampton. "Next we'll have Captain Vanleigh."

And he looked hard at Tiny, who bent lower over her plate.

"Van, I--tut-tut-tut, how do you spell leigh, e first or i first?" said Lady Rea.

"Shall I write them down for you, f.a.n.n.y?" said Aunt Matty.

"No, thank you, Matty," said Lady Rea, who was getting into a knot.

"There, I shall know what that means."

"Er-rum!" said Sir Hampton; "Mr Mervyn."

"La! Hampy," cried Lady Rea, looking up, "you haven't said Mr Trevor."

"Mister--er-rum--Mervyn!" exclaimed Sir Hampton, sharply.

"Oh, there, my dear, don't fly at me like that," cried Lady Rea. "M, e, r, v, i--"

"Y, f.a.n.n.y, y," said Aunt Matty, with a shudder.

"Oh yes, y, of course," said Lady Rea, good-humouredly; "y, n, Mervyn.

Next?"

The girls bent their heads--Tiny over her breakfast, Fin smoothing the rather tousled hair of her mother.

"Er-rum, I suppose I must ask this--er-rum--Trevor."

"Surely, Hampton," exclaimed Aunt Matty, "you will not think of inviting that objectionable person."

Fin glanced at her sister, whose face was crimson, and Lady Rea looked pained. "Matty, my dear, I think you are wrong. I..."

"Have you got that name down, Lady Rea?" said Sir Hampton.

"No, dear; but I soon will have," said her ladys.h.i.+p, making her pencil scramble over the tablet.

"Er-rum!" e.j.a.c.u.l.a.t.ed Sir Hampton, rising, puffing himself out, and walking slowly up and down the room; "a man in my position is obliged to make sacrifices, and ask people to whom he objects. In the event of my contesting the county such a man as this--er-rum--this--er-rum--Trevor would be useful I thank you, Matty; you mean, er--mean--rum, well. Put his name down, f.a.n.n.y."

"I have, my love," said Lady Rea, beaming at her children.

"Hampton, I protest against this outrage," cried Aunt Matty, "after the marked way in which he has--"

"Tiny, come and cut some flowers," said Fin; and her sister gladly beat a retreat, Fin whispering as they went--"Will he ask the little man?"

"Now, Matty," said Sir Hampton, "have the goodness to proceed; and in future, when you enter upon such subjects, have the kindness to-- er-rum--remember that I am not deaf."

"I say, Hampton, after the marked way in which that 'seafaring person'

has behaved to Valentina, it is most indiscreet to ask him here."

"Oh, Matty," cried Lady Rea, "I'm sure that young man is as nice as can be."

"If that was what you intended to say, Matilda--er-rum--it would have been most indecent before those children," said Sir Hampton, pompously.

"In--"

Aunt Matty could not say it, the word was too outrageous.

"I feel bound--er-rum--bound," said Sir Hampton, with emphasis, "to ask the young man, as a proprietor, even as we might ask a tenant, f.a.n.n.y."

"Yes, my love."

"Put down that lawyer as well, Mr--er, er--Mr--" he got the name out with great disgust at last, "Pratt," and carefully wiped his mouth afterwards.

"You'll be sorry for this, Hampton," said Miss Matilda, shaking with virtuous indignation, so that some frozen dewdrops in her head-dress quivered again, and Pepine, who had been surrept.i.tiously nursed under a canopy of table-cloth, received, in her excitement, such a heavy nip from his mistress's knees, that he uttered an awful howl.

"Er-rum--sorry?"

"Yes, sorry. That objectionable person is always hanging about the house like--like--like a vagrant; and those girls never go for a walk without being accosted by him or his companion. If you have any eyes, you ought to see."

"Oh, Matty, pray don't," said Lady Rea, appealingly.

"Er-rum! Silence, f.a.n.n.y," said Sir Hampton. "And as for your remarks, Matilda, they are uncalled for. My children would not, I am sure, encourage the--er-rum--advances of that person; and Lady Rea would be one of the first to crush any--er-rum--thing of the kind."

"Indeed!" said Aunt Matty, spitefully. "That--er-rum--will do," said Sir Hampton. "f.a.n.n.y, those will be our guests. See that the dinner is worthy of our position."

He went out like a stout, elderly emperor of florid habit, and, as soon after as was possible, Lady Rea beat a retreat, leaving Aunt Matty taking dog, after her habit, in strokes with one hand, holding a pocket handkerchief cake in the other; "and looking," Edward the footman, said in the kitchen, after removing the breakfast things, "like a bilious image getting ready for a fit."

Sir Hampton's study was horticulture that morning; and, after swallowing a page on the manipulation of the roots of espaliers and pyramid trees, he was about to go out and attack Sanders, the gardener, when Edward announced Sir Felix Landells and Captain Vanleigh on business, and they were shown in.

"Really--hope not deranging--untimely call," said Sir Felix.

"We will not detain you long, Sir Hampton," said Vanleigh, with a great show of deference.

"Er-rum, gentlemen," said Sir Hampton, whose face shone with pride, "in these rural--er-rum--districts, when one is--er-rum--far from society and town, sociability and hospitality should, er--"

"Go hand in hand--exactly," said Vanleigh, smiling.

"Er-rum, I am very glad to see you, gentlemen," said Sir Hampton.

"Oddly--er-rum--oddly enough, we were discussing a little dinner for Friday. Could you--er-rum--both, both--er--honour us with your company?"

And he looked from one to the other.

"Well," said Vanleigh, hesitating, and glancing at Sir Felix, "it depends somewhat on--Would you like to speak out, Landells?"

"'Sure you, no. Do it so much better. Pray go on."