Thereby Hangs a Tale - BestLightNovel.com
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"Well, there was a specimen. You gave that fellow a s.h.i.+lling for brus.h.i.+ng your coat that was not dirty."
"Poor devil, yes! He tried to earn it honestly, and we don't get such luxuries at sea."
"As honestly as Van earned forty sovs. of you after we left Tatt's yesterday."
"Don't understand you, Franky," said Trevor, with a twinkle of the eye, as he allowed himself to be caught by a s...o...b..ack, and placed a slightly soiled boot upon his stand.
"Tut!" e.j.a.c.u.l.a.t.ed Pratt. "There you go again. What a fellow you are, d.i.c.k! What I meant was that horse of his. You gave him a cheque for a hundred for it."
"Yes, I did, Franky."
"He gave sixty for it last week."
Trevor winced slightly, and said quietly--
"Dealer's profit; and he understands horses. Try another cigar, Frank."
Pratt took another cigar, lit it, and said, quietly--
"Now look here, d.i.c.k, old fellow, I'm afraid I'm going to be a great nuisance to you. You're so easy-going, that with this money of yours-- to use your sea-going terms--you'll be all amongst the sharks; every one will be making a set at you. 'Pon my soul, I've been miserable ever since I won that four pound ten. The best thing we can do is to see one another seldom, for if I stay with you I shall always be boring you about some foolish bit of extravagance, and getting into hot water with the friends who take a fancy to you."
"My dear Frank," said Trevor, smoking away in the most unruffled fas.h.i.+on, "you will oblige me very much by letting that be the clearing-up shower as far as talk of leaving me is concerned. It is quite right. Here have I been to sea, middy and man, for twelve years; and now I come back to England a great helpless baby of a fellow, game for everybody. You think I'm a fool. Well, I am not over-wise; but my first act ash.o.r.e here was the looking-up of a tried old schoolfellow, whose purse I've often shared, and who never once left me in the lurch-- and," he added, slowly and meaningly, "who never will leave me in the lurch. Am I right?"
Frank Pratt turned one sharp, quick flash upon the speaker, and that was enough.
"Thanky, sir," cried the s...o...b..ack, spinning up the sixpence he had received.
The friends turned towards one of the omnibuses about to make a start for the course.
"Beg parding, sir," said a voice, "just a speck left on your coat, sir!"
And the man who had received the s.h.i.+lling for the brus.h.i.+ng began to "ciss" once more.
"That'll do, sir! That's the next 'bus, sir! Good luck to you for a real gent, sir," he added; and then in a whisper, "Back White La.s.sie!"
Trevor turned sharply round, just time enough to encounter a most knowing wink, and the man was gone.
"d.i.c.k, I'm afraid that's a trap," said Pratt, gazing after the man.
"Better not bet at all; but if you do, I don't think I should go by what that fellow says. Well, come along. Eh? what?"
"Consequential-looking old chap in that barouche, I said;" and Trevor pointed to where a carriage had drawn up by the railway hotel, the owner having posted down from town--"regular type of the old English gentleman."
"Now, if we are to get on together, d.i.c.k," said Pratt, plaintively, "don't try to humbug me in that way. Don't hoist false colours."
"Humbug you?--false colours?"
"Yes, humbug me. Now, on your oath, didn't you think more of the two ladies in the barouche than of the old gentleman?"
"Without being on my oath--yes, I did; for I haven't seen a pretty girl for three years. Get up first."
"After you," was the response.
And directly after the friends were mounted on the knifeboard of a great three-horse omnibus, brought down expressly for the occasion.
The vehicle was soon loaded in a way that put its springs to the test, for the exact licenced number was not studied upon that day. There was a fair sprinkling of gentlemen, quiet, businesslike professionals, and decent tradesmen with a taste for sport; but the railway company having run cheap special trains, London had sent forth a few representative batches of the fancy, in the shape of canine-featured gentlemen "got up"
expressly for the occasion, with light trousers, spotted neckerchiefs, velvet coats, and a sign in the breast of their s.h.i.+rt or tie in the shape of a horseshoe pin. It is impossible to sit in such company without wondering whether the closely cropped hair was cut at the expense of the country; and when a quiet, neutral-looking man, sitting amongst them, accidentally clicks something in his pocket, you may know all the time that it is the lid of a tobacco-box, or a few halfpence, but you are certain to think of handcuffs.
You cannot pick your companions on an omnibus bound from a little country station to the scene of a steeplechase, and Richard Trevor and his friend soon found that they were in luck; for in addition to the regular racing attendants, London had sent down a pleasant a.s.sortment of those sporting gentlemen who used to hang about London Bridge Station on the morning when an event was to "come off," police permitting, some forty miles down the line.
In the hurry of climbing up, Pratt had not noticed the occupants of the vehicle but as soon as they had taken their seats he was for descending again, and he turned to whisper his wishes to his friend.
"All comes of being in such a plaguy hurry, Frank. Always take soundings before you come to an anchor. Never mind now, though the onions are far from agreeable."
The words had hardly left his lips, when a man on his left turned sharply, and asked why he hadn't ordered his "kerridge," subsiding afterwards into a growl, in which the word "sweeps" was plainly to be made out.
This acted as the signal for a little light chaff, and remarks began to fly about the dress of the friends. Moses Brothers and Whitechapel hags were mentioned, counter-jumping playfully alluded to, and permissions to be out for the day; and then a battery of exceedingly foul pipes came into play, emitting odours resembling anything but those of Araby the Blest, and driving Frank Pratt to ask his friend, in self-defence, for a cigar.
"Giv's that there light," said an individual on his right--a gentleman in velveteen coat, tight trousers, and eyes of so friendly a nature that they seemed ever seeking each other's society, and trying to burrow beneath the bridge of their owner's flat nose. He had no whiskers nor beard, but a great deal of mouth and chin, spotted all over with tiny black dots. His ma.s.sive neck was swathed in a great belcher kerchief, with ample but useful ends; for besides supplying warmth, one was used occasionally to supply the lack of nutriment, and be nibbled by the owner's great horse-teeth.
Trevor took the vesuvian from his friend, and politely pa.s.sed it to the man, who leered, grinned, stuffed it into his pipe-bowl, holding it there as he puffed for a few moments, and then, winking at a companion, he pitched the little incandescent globe upon Pratt's light overcoat.
Pratt started, flushed angrily, and brushed the vesuvian from his coat, but not until it had burned there a round black spot. But he said nothing; his face only twitched a little, as he began to make remarks about the country they were pa.s.sing.
"Hillo!--eo--eo!" came from behind, as the omnibus slowly lumbered along; the driver drew a little on one side, and the open carriage, with its post-horses, that they had seen by the railway hotel, began slowly to pa.s.s, with the two young men eagerly scanning the occupants.
"Look at that old c.o.c.k in the buff weskit," said some one on the omnibus--a sally which was followed by roars of laughter, as an elderly gentleman, of portly, magisterial aspect, half started from the back seat, filming and frowning in utter astonishment at so ribald an attack on his dignity.
"Going to ask us to lunch, guv'nor?" laughed a third.
"That's Brighamy Young and his three wives," cried some one else.
"Tell the postboy to go a little faster, Edward," the old gentleman called out to a footman on the box.
"Do you hear, Edward? Why don't you go on faster, Edward?--eh, Edward?"
cried the first speaker, while the old gentleman leaned forward to speak to one of the young ladies opposite, who was evidently somewhat agitated; while, to make matters worse, the omnibus driver had whipped up his horses, and the great vehicle kept on thundering along abreast of the barouche.
This fresh movement was the signal for a volley from the fellow on Trevor's right; and he now made himself especially conspicuous, kissing his hand, and evidently goading the old gentleman into a state of apoplexy. A scene was evidently brewing, and something unpleasant must have inevitably occurred, had not, almost at one and the same moment, Pratt whispered a word or two in French to his friend, and the postboy given his horses a few cuts, which made them start forward with such energy that the barouche was soon out of sight.
"You're about right, Frank," Trevor said, leaning back; "it is not worth notice."
"P'raps you'll just use about as much of this here 'bus as you pays for," said the man seated dos-a-dos to him, and whom he had slightly pressed.
Trevor started forward; for the remark was unpleasantly made, and qualified with offensive adjectives. Pratt looked anxious, and would gladly have finished the distance on foot; but to stop the omnibus, and get down, would probably have made bad worse--especially as Trevor only smiled, and sat up quite erect.
"He've been taking more than his share of the 'bus ever since he got up," said the black-looking gentleman on the right, pressing closer to Trevor. "Keep yer own side, will yer?"
Very pale and quiet, Richard Trevor edged a little more towards his companion; but this was only the signal for renewed insult, the knifeboard being in possession of the fellow's friends.
"Where are you a-scrowging to?" said the fellow on Pratt's left.