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"You smell good to me. But an air bath is a good idea; I'll peel down, too. Your gun, dear-where's your belt with your knife and gun?" He started shucking his overalls.
"You want me to wear my gun belt now? now? Inside the fence? With you here to protect me?" Inside the fence? With you here to protect me?"
"As self-discipline and a standard precaution, my lovely one." He hitched his own gun-and-knife belt back into place as he stepped out of his overalls, then pulled off boots and s.h.i.+rt and got bare save for the belt and three other weapons that did not show when he was dressed. "In more years than I like to think about I have never been unarmed except when locked in somewhere safe. I want you to acquire the habit. Not just sometimes. Always."
"All right. I left my belt on the seat; I'll get it. But, Woodrow, I'm not much of a fighter at best."
"You're fairly accurate with that needle gun up to fifty meters. And you're going to get better and better the longer you live with me. Not just with it but with anything that shoots, cuts, burns, or even makes nasty bruises, from your bare hands to a blaster. See over there, Dorable?" He pointed to nothing but flatness. "In just seven seconds a horde of hairy savages will come pouring over the top of that rise and attack. I get a spear through my thigh and go down . . then you have to fight them off for both of us. What are you going to do, you poor little girl, with your gun clear over there on the seat of that wagon?"
"Why"-she set her feet apart, put her hands back of her head, and gave a wiggle that was invented in the Garden of Eden, or perhaps just outside-"I'll go this this way at 'em!" way at 'em!"
"Yes," Lazarus agreed thoughtfully, "that should work. If they were human. But they aren't. Their only interest in tall, beautiful, brown-eyed girls is to eat eat them. Bones and all. Silly of them, but that's how they are." them. Bones and all. Silly of them, but that's how they are."
"Yes, dear," she said docilely. "I'll go put on my gun belt. Then I'll kill the one who speared you. Then I'll see how many more I can get before they eat me."
"That's right, durable Dorable. Always take an honor guard with you. If you have to go, go down fighting. The size of your guard of honor determines your status in h.e.l.l."
"Yes, dear. I'm sure I'll enjoy h.e.l.l if you're there, too." She turned to fetch her weapons.
"Oh, I'll be there! They wouldn't take me anywhere else. Dora! When you put on your gun belt, take off your sunbonnet and boots-and put on your rubies, all of them."
She paused with a foot on the step of the wagon. "My rubies, dear? Out here on the prairie?"
"Rangy Lil, I bought those rubies for you to wear and for me to admire you wearing them."
She flashed a smile that turned her normally serious expression into suns.h.i.+ne, swung on up into the wagon and disappeared. She was back quickly wearing weapons belt and rubies, but had taken a few seconds to comb her hair, long and chestnut brown and s.h.i.+ning. That she had not been able to bathe for more than two weeks did not show, did not detract from her enchanting, youthful beauty. She paused on the step and smiled at him.
"Hold it!" he said. "Perfect! Dora, you are the most beautiful thing I have ever seen in all my born days."
She flashed him another smile. "I don't believe that, my husband-but I hope you will go on saying it."
"Madam, I cannot tell a lie. I say it only because it is the simple truth. Now what were you saying about the little rooster?"
"Oh! That perverted little monster! I That perverted little monster! I said said he had been breaking eggs on purpose! This time I caught him. Pecking them. Two freshly laid broken eggs!" he had been breaking eggs on purpose! This time I caught him. Pecking them. Two freshly laid broken eggs!"
"Royal prerogative, dear. Afraid one of them would hatch out a rooster."
"I'll wring his neck! If we had a fire, I'd do it right now. Darling, I was trying to see what we could eat cold without opening anything not already open, and it occurred to me that salt crackers crumbled into raw eggs would almost make a meal. But there were only three eggs today and he broke the two laid by his hens. I'd put plenty of gra.s.s in both cages; the one egg on the other side wasn't even cracked. d.a.m.n him. Woodrow, why do we have to have two two roosters?" roosters?"
"For the same reason I carry two throwing knives. Sweetheart, after we arrive and hatch our first chicks, once they're big enough that I'm certain of a spare rooster, we can have rooster and dumplings with him as guest of honor. Not before."
"But we can't can't have him breaking eggs. Tonight's supper will be mostly cheese and hardtack-unless you want me to open something." have him breaking eggs. Tonight's supper will be mostly cheese and hardtack-unless you want me to open something."
"Let's not rush it. Fritz and Lady Mac are trying to spot game right now. Prairie goat, I hope. Loper if not."
"But I can't cook meat. You said. You did say."
"Raw, my dear. Haunch of prairie goat, chopped fine and spread on hard crackers. Beef Tartare a la New Beginnings. Tasty. Tastes almost as good as girl." He smacked his lips.
"Well . . if you can eat it, I can eat it. But half the time, Woodrow, I don't know whether you are joking or not."
"I never joke about food or women, Dorable; those are sacred subjects." He looked her up and down again. "Speaking of women, woman, dressing you in rubies is just right. But why a bracelet around your ankle?"
"Because you gave me three bracelets, sir. As well as rings and a pendant. And you said to wear 'all of them.' "
"So I did. Where did this one come from?"
"Hey! That's not a ruby; that's me!" me!"
"Looks like a ruby. Here's another just like it."
"Unh! Maybe I'd better take my rubies off? So we won't lose them. Or should we water the mules first?" Maybe I'd better take my rubies off? So we won't lose them. Or should we water the mules first?"
"You mean before we eat?"
"Uh . . yes, I guess that's what I mean, Tease."
"You're not speaking very plainly, little Dora. Tell Uncle Gibbie what you want."
"I'm not 'little Dora.' I'm Rangy Lil, the h.o.r.n.i.e.s.t girl south of Separation-you said so yourself. I cuss and I swear and I spit between my teeth and I'm concubine to Lazarus Long, Super Stud of the Stars and better than any six men-and you know d.a.m.n well what I want, and if you pinch my nipples again, I'm likely to trip you and take it. But I guess we ought to water the mules."
Minerva, Dora was just plain nice to be around, always. It wasn't her physical beauty . . which wasn't that outstanding by the usual criteria in any case-although she was utterly beautiful to me to me. Nor was it her enthusiastic interest in sharing "Eros"-although she was indeed enthusiastic, ready any time, and always on a short fuse. And skilled at it and got more so. s.e.x is a learned art, as much so as ice skating or tightwire walking or fancy diving; it is not not instinct. Oh, two animals couple by instinct, but it takes intelligence and patient willingness to turn copulation into a high and lively art. Dora was good at it and got better and better, always eager to learn, free of fetishes or silly preconceptions, patiently willing to practice anything she learned or was taught-and with it that spiritual quality that turns sweaty exercise into a living sacrament. instinct. Oh, two animals couple by instinct, but it takes intelligence and patient willingness to turn copulation into a high and lively art. Dora was good at it and got better and better, always eager to learn, free of fetishes or silly preconceptions, patiently willing to practice anything she learned or was taught-and with it that spiritual quality that turns sweaty exercise into a living sacrament.
But Minerva, love is what still still goes on when you are goes on when you are not not h.o.r.n.y. h.o.r.n.y.
Dora was good company at any time, but the tougher things were, the better companion she was. Oh, she fretted about broken eggs because chickens were her responsibility; she did not complain that she was thirsty. Instead of nagging me to do something about that rooster, she figured out what had to be done and did it-shoved all the hens in with the other rooster, tied the feet of the egg breaker and laid him aside while she moved the part.i.tion between the cages, then the smaller rooster was in solitary confinement and we lost no more eggs.
But the truly tough parts lay ahead of us; she did not fret at all during those, or ever turn balky when I did not have time to explain. Minerva, much of the trek was slow death, other parts were sudden dangers that could have been quick death. She was endlessly patient in the former, always kept her head and helped in the latter. Dear, you are awesomely learned-but you are a city girl and you've always been on a civilized planet; perhaps I had better explain some things.
Maybe you have been asking yourself: "Is this trip necessary?" -and, if it is, why do it the hard way?
"Necessary-" Having done something a Howard should never do, namely, marry an ephemeral, I had three choices: Take her to live among Howards. Dora rejected that . . although I would have tried to talk her out of it if she had said Yes. A short-timer alone in a community of the long-lived is almost certain to go into suicidal depression; I had seen it first in my friend Slayton Ford and I've seen it many times since then. I did not want this to happen to Dora. Whether the number of her years was ten or a thousand, I wanted her to enjoy them.
Or we could stay in Top Dollar or-the same thing-near one of the villages of that small piece of the planet that was settled then. I almost chose this, as the "Bill Smith" dodge would work for that-for a time.
But only for a short time. The few Howards on New Beginnings-the Magees and three other families as I recall-had all arrived incognito-"masquerade" in Howard jargon-and by simple dodges they could shuffle things around and never be caught at it. Grandmother Magee could "die," then show up as "Deborah Simpson" on another Howard homestead. The more people there were on the planet, the easier it was to pull this-especially after the fourth wave arrived, all of them cold-sleep cargo and thereby never having gotten acquainted with each other.
But "Bill Smith" was married to an ephemeral. If I stayed around the settled parts, I would have to be most careful to keep my hair dyed-not just on my head but all over my body lest some accident give me away-and then be careful to "age" as fast as my wife did. Worse, I would have to avoid people who had known "Ernest Gibbons" well-most of Top Dollar, that is to say-or someone would see my profile and hear my voice and start wondering, as I had had no chance for plastic surgery or anything of that sort. At other times, when it was needful to change name and ident.i.ty, I had always changed location as well, that being the oniy foolproof way to do it. Even plastic surgery won't disguise me very long; I regenerate too easily. I once had my nose bobbed (the alternative seemed to involve having my neck bobbed); ten years later it was just as it is now, big and ugly.
Not that I was too jumpy about being disclosed as a Howard. But if I was going to have to live in masquerade, the more carefully I used these cosmetic tricks, the more Dora's nose would be rubbed in the fact that I was different from her-different in the saddest way of all, a husband and a wife who ran on very different time rates.
Minerva, it seemed to me that the only way I could give my pretty new wife a square shake was by taking her far away from both sorts of people, long-lived and short, where I could quit pretending and we could ignore the difference, forget it and be happy. So I decided to take her clear out of reach of other people, decided this before we got back to town the very day I married her.
It seemed the best answer to an otherwise impossible situation, but one not as irreversible as a parachute jump. If she got too lonely, if she grew to hate the sight of my ugly mug, I could bring her out to the settlements again, still young enough to hook another husband. I had this in mind, Minerva, as some of my wives have grown tired of me fairly quickly. I had arranged with Zack Briggs, at the same time I had arranged with John Magee to act as factor for Zack-arranged with Zack to ask John what had happened to "Bill Smith" and the little schoolmarm? It was possible that I would need a ride off-planet someday.
But why didn't I have Zack put us down on the spot on the map I had picked as being our likely place of settlement?-with everything we would need to start farming and thereby avoid a long, dangerous trek. Not risk death by thirst, or by lopers, or the treacheries of mountains, or whatever.
Minerva, this was a long time ago and I can explain only in terms of technology available there there and and then then. The Andy J Andy J. could not land; she received her overhauls in orbit around Secundus or some other advanced planet. Her cargo boat could land on any big flat field but required a minimum of a radar-corner reflector to home on, then had to have many metric tons of water to lift off again. The captain's gig was the only boat in the Andy J Andy J. capable of landing anywhere a skilled pilot could put her down, then lift off without help. But her cargo capacity was about two postage stamps-whereas I needed mules and plows and a load of other things.
Besides, I needed to learn how to get out out of those mountains by going of those mountains by going into into them. I could not take Dora into there without being reasonably sure that I could fetch her out again. Not fair! It's no sin not to be pioneer-mother material -but it is tragic for both husband and wife to find it out too late. them. I could not take Dora into there without being reasonably sure that I could fetch her out again. Not fair! It's no sin not to be pioneer-mother material -but it is tragic for both husband and wife to find it out too late.
So we did not do it the hard way; we did it the only only way for that time and place. But I have never put the effort into a ma.s.s calculation for a s.p.a.ces.h.i.+p at liftoff that I put into deciding what to take, what to do without, for that trek. First, the basic parameter: how many wagons in the train? I wanted three wagons so badly I could taste it. A third wagon would mean luxuries for Dora, more tools for me, more books and such for both of us, and (best!) a precut one-room house to get my pregnant bride out of the weather almost instantly at the other end. way for that time and place. But I have never put the effort into a ma.s.s calculation for a s.p.a.ces.h.i.+p at liftoff that I put into deciding what to take, what to do without, for that trek. First, the basic parameter: how many wagons in the train? I wanted three wagons so badly I could taste it. A third wagon would mean luxuries for Dora, more tools for me, more books and such for both of us, and (best!) a precut one-room house to get my pregnant bride out of the weather almost instantly at the other end.
But three wagons meant eighteen mules hauling, plus spare mules-add six by rule-of-thumb-which meant half again as much time spent harnessing and unharnessing, watering the animals, taking care of them otherwise. Add enough wagons and mules and at some point your day's march is zero; one man can't handle the work. Worse, there would be places in the mountains where I would have to unshackle the wagons, move them one at a time to a more open place-go back for each wagon left behind, bring it up-a process that would take twice as long for a three-wagon train as for a two-wagon one, and would happen oftener, even much oftener, with three wagons than with two. At that rate we might have three babies born en route instead of getting there before our first one was born.
I was saved from such folly by the fact only two trekking wagons were available in New Pittsburgh. I think I would have resisted temptation anyhow-but I had with me in the light wagon we drove from Top Dollar the hardware for three, then I spent that extra hardware on other things, bartering it through the wainwright. I could not wait while he built a third wagon; both the season of the year and the season of Dora's womb gave me deadlines I had to meet.
There is much to be said for just one wagon-standard equipment over many centuries and on several planets for one family in overland migration-if they travel in a party. I've led such marches. they travel in a party. I've led such marches.
But one wagon by itself-One accident can be disaster.
Two wagons offer more than twice as much to work with at the other end, plus life insurance on the march. You can lose one wagon, regroup, and keep going.
So I planned for two wagons, Minerva, even though I had Zack debit me with three sets of 'Stoga hardware, then did not sell that third set until the last minute.
Here's how you load a wagon train for survival: First, list everything that you expect to need and everything that you would like to take: Wagons, spare wheels, spare axles Mules, harness, spare hardware and harness leather, saddles Water Food Clothing Blankets Weapons, ammunition, repair kit Medicines, drugs, surgical instruments, bandages Books Plows Harrow Field rake Shovels, hand rakes, hoes, seeders, three- five- & seventine forks Harvester Blacksmith's tools Carpentry tools Iron cookstove Water closet, self-flus.h.i.+ng type Oil lamps Windmill & pump Sawmill run by windpower Leatherworking & harness-repair tools Bed, table, chairs, dishes, pots, pans, eating & cooking gear Binoculars, microscope, water-testing kit Grindstone Wheelbarrow Chum Buckets, sieves, a.s.sorted small hardware Milch cow & bull Chickens Salt for stock & for people Packaged yeast, yeast starter Seed grain, several sorts Grinder for whole-grain flour, meat grinder
Don't stop there; think big big. Never mind the fact that you've already overloaded a much longer wagon train. Search your imagination, check the manifests of the Andy J Andy J., search the s.h.i.+p itself, look over the stock in Rick's General Store, talk with John Magee and look over his house and farm and outbuildings-if you forget it now, it's impossible to go back for it.
Musical instruments, writing materials, diaries, calendars Baby clothes, layettes Spinning wheel, loom, sewing materials-sheep!
Tannin & leather-curing materials and tools Clocks, watches Root vegetables, rooted fruit-tree seedlings, other seed Etc. etc. etc. . .
Now start tr.i.m.m.i.n.g-start swapping-start figuring weights.
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Cut out the bull, the cow, the sheep; subst.i.tute goats with hair long enough to be worth cutting. Hey, you missed shears! shears!
The blacksmith's shop stays but gets trimmed down to an anvil and minimum tools-a bellows you must make. In general anything of wood is scratched, but a small supply of wrought-iron stock, heavy as it is, must be hauled; you'll be making things you didn't know you could.
The harvester becomes a scythe with handle and cradle, three spare blades; the field rake is scratched.
The windmill stays, and so does the sawmill (surprise!)-but only as minimum hardware; you won't tackle either one soon.
Books-Which of those books can you live without, Dora?
Halve the amount of clothing, double up on shoes and add more boots and don't forget children's shoes. Yes, I know how to make moccasins, mukluks, and such; add waxed thread. Yes, we do have to have block-and-tackle and the best gla.s.s-and-plastic lines we can buy, or we won't get through the pa.s.s. Money is nothing; weight and cubage are all that count-our total wealth is what mules can take through that notch.
Minerva, it was lucky for me, lucky for Dora, that I was on my sixth pioneering venture and that I had planned how to load s.p.a.ces.h.i.+ps many years before I ever loaded a covered wagon-for the principles are the same; s.p.a.ces.h.i.+ps are the covered wagons of the Galaxy. Get it down to the weight the mules can haul, then chop off 10 percent no matter how it hurts; a broken axle-when you can't replace it-might as well be a broken neck.
Then add more water to bring it up to 95 percent; the load of water drops off every day.
Knitting needles! Can Dora knit? If not, teach her. I've spent many a lonely hour in s.p.a.ce knitting sweaters and socks. Yarn? It will be a long time before Dora can tease goat shearings into good yarn-and she can knit for the baby while we travel; keep her happy. Yarn doesn't weigh much. Wooden needles can be made; even curved metal needles can be shaped from sc.r.a.ps. But pick up both sorts from Rick's Store.
Oh, my G.o.d, I almost missed taking an ax! ax!
Ax heads and one handle, brush hook, pick-mattock-Minerva, I added and trimmed and discarded, and weighed every item at New Pittsburgh-and we weren't three kilometers out of there headed for Separation before I knew I had us overloaded. That night we stopped at a homesteader's cabin, and I traded a new thirty-kilo anvil for his fifteen-kilo one, traded even, with the pound of flesh nearest my heart tossed in for good measure. I swapped other heavy items that we would miss later for a smoked ham and a side of bacon and more corn for the mules-the last being emergency rations.
We lightened the loads again at Separation, and I took another water barrel in trade and filled it because I now had room for another and knew that too heavy a load of water was self-correcting.
I think that extra barrel saved our lives.
The patch of green that Lazarus-Woodrow had pointed out up near the notch of Hopeless Pa.s.s proved to be farther away in travel time than he had hoped. On the last day that they struggled toward it neither man nor mule had had anything to drink since dawn the day before. Smith felt lightheaded; the mules were hardly fit to work, they plodded slowly, heads down.
Dora wanted to stop drinking when her husband did. He said to her: "Listen to me, you stupid little tart, you're pregnant. pregnant. Understand me? Or will it take a fat lip to convince you? I held out four liters when we served the mules; you saw me." Understand me? Or will it take a fat lip to convince you? I held out four liters when we served the mules; you saw me."
"I don't need four liters, Woodrow."
"Shut up. That's for you, and the nanny goat, and the chickens. And the cats-cats don't take much. Dorable, that much water means nothing split among sixteen mules, but it will go a long way among you small fry."
"Yes, sir. How about Mrs. Porky?"
"Oh, that d.a.m.ned sow! Uh . . I'll give her a half a liter when we stop tonight and I'll serve her myself. She's likely to kick it over and take your thumb off, the mood she's in. And I'll serve you you myself, measure it out, and watch you drink it." myself, measure it out, and watch you drink it."
But after a long day and a restless night and then an endless day, they were at last among the first of the trees. It seemed almost cool, and Smith felt that he could smell water -somewhere. He could not see any. "Buck! Oh, Buck! Circle!"
The boss mule did not answer; he had not talked all day. But he brought the column around, cornered the wagons, and nudged the lead pair into the V to be unharnessed.
Smith called the dogs and told them to hunt for water, then started unharnessing. Silently his wife joined him, serving the off mule of each pair while Smith cleared the nigh mule. He appreciated her silence. Dora was, he thought, telepathic to emotions.
Now if I were water somewhere around here, where would I be? Witch for it? Or search the surface first? He felt fairly sure that no stream led away from this stand of trees, but he could not be certain without hiking all the downhill side. Saddle Beulah? Shucks, Beulah was worse off than he was. He started unlas.h.i.+ng rolled sections of spike fence from the sides of the second wagon. He had not seen a loper for three days, which meant to him that they were three days closer to their next trouble with the beasts. "Dora, if you feel up to it, you can give me a hand with this."
She made no comment on the fact that her husband had never before let her help erect the kraal; she simply worried about how drawn and tired he looked and thought about the quarter liter of water she had stolen and hidden-how could she persuade him to drink it?
They were just done when Fritz set up an excited yipping in the distance.