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Following the rules is a poem copied from the "Christian Register" of Sept. 4, 1880.
WHAT OF THAT?
"Tired?" Well, what of that?
Didst fancy life was spent on beds of ease, Fluttering the rose-leaves scattered by the breeze?
Come, rouse thee! work while it is called day!
Coward, arise! Go forth upon thy way.
"Lonely?" And what of that?
Some must be lonely; 'tis not given to all To feel a heart responsive rise and fall, To blend another life into its own.
Work may be done in loneliness. Work on!
"Dark?" Well, what of that?
Didst fondly dream the sun would never set?
Dost fear to lose thy way? Take courage yet!
Learn thou to walk by faith, and not by sight; Thy steps will guided be, and guided right.
"Hard?" Well, what of that?
Didst fancy life one summer holiday, With lessons none to learn, and nought but play?
Go, get thee to thy task! Conquer or die!
It must be learned! Learn it, then, patiently.
"No help?" Nay, 'tis not so!
Though human help is far, thy G.o.d is nigh; Who feeds the ravens, hears his children's cry.
He's near thee wheresoe'er thy footsteps roam, And he will guide thee, light thee, help thee home.
Then follows a selection from Emerson:--
"The scholar must be a solitary, laborious, modest, and charitable soul. He must embrace solitude as a bride. He must have his glees and his glooms alone. Go, scholar, cherish your soul; expel companions; set your habits to a life of solitude; then will the faculties rise fair and full within, like forest trees, field flowers; you will have results, which, when you meet your fellow men, you can communicate and they will gladly receive. It is the n.o.ble, manly, just thought which is the superiority demanded of you; and not crowds, but solitude, confers this elevation."
Next follows a page of "Paragraphs for Preachers." Evidently this year sees the dying of the first hope to be a preacher, and the gradual dawn of her life's real mission. Seven pages follow of "Prayers altered and rearranged for my own use, from 'Dairy Praise and Prayer.'" Three or four appropriate prayers are united in one, headed, "First evening,"
"First Morning," "Second Evening," etc. These were apparently prepared for the lay services she had dreamed of holding. A page or two more, and this entry, October 17, marks the dawning of the new hope: "Last week received a very kind letter from Mr. Wendte, in which he stated, 'We have made you chairman of a Book and Tract Table in the church; 'therefore I feel bound to return to attend to it." Further extracts from the diary are:--
Sat.u.r.day evening, J---- accidentally broke my audiphone. I felt _lost_ then, but wouldn't let them know how badly I felt about it, and even went to church without it, for fear they would feel hurt about it. It came home mended, this evening.
_October 31._ Finished G----'s afghan, also completed the embroidery of fourth skirt for Mrs. ----, and first of baby C----'s mittens. Was quite interested in a letter of Mrs. ---- in "Register" of last week on "The Woman's Auxiliary Conference." Hope she _will_ succeed in establis.h.i.+ng a Woman's Club for discussion and debate in Cincinnati.
Miss F. Le Baron, whose friends.h.i.+p with Miss Ellis dates back to the latter's residence in Chicago, writes that she has several letters from Miss Ellis setting forth her desire to preach, but unfortunately they are in a totally inaccessible place. This allusion, in the diary, evidently points to the final renunciation of Miss Ellis's first missionary impulse:--
_November 7._ A letter from Miss Le Baron, of Chicago, in regard to my engaging in missionary work in the West. She finally closed with the idea that I had come to myself. In a letter from A---- this week she says to me, "_Our_ lot in life appears to be that of patience and submission," which brings to my mind quite a sermon, in other's words, which I hope to write out to-day. It is time to prepare for church.... The thought suggested by A----'s letter with regard to submission to our lot called to mind the pa.s.sage William Ellery Channing wrote to his friend Francis. "You seem to go upon the supposition that our circ.u.mstances are determined by Providence. I believe they are determined by ourselves. Man is the artificer of his own fortunes. By exertion he can enlarge his sphere of usefulness. By activity he can 'multiply himself.' It is mind that gives him the ascendency in society; it is mind that gives him power and ability. It depends upon himself to call forth the energies of mind, to strengthen the intellect, to form benevolence into a habit of the soul. The consequence I draw from these principles is that Heaven, by placing me in particular circ.u.mstances, has not a.s.signed me a determinate sphere of usefulness (as you seem to think), but that it is in my power, and of course my duty, to spread the 'beams of my light' wider into the 'night of adversity.'"
Miss Ellis continues, apparently partly in her own words:--
With this idea, then, that we largely fas.h.i.+on our own lives, that, "working with G.o.d, and for him, our lives can know no true failure, but all things shall contribute to our soul's true success," let us take up our cross, and then we shall find
"The burden light, The path made straight, the way all bright, Our warfare cease; So shall we win the crown, At last our life lay down In perfect peace."
Two pages more on the same topic, of original and selected matter skilfully blended (perhaps the whole a bit of one of the sermons never to be preached), end with the hymn, copied in full,--
"I ask not wealth, but power to take And use the things I have aright;"
and Miss Ellis finally sums all up, "True submission, then, consists in _working_ out our own salvation, looking to G.o.d for strength wherewith to work." The only entry for the next day is part of the hymn,--
"But G.o.d, through ways they have not known, Will lead his own."
November 11 she returned home.
_November 14._ Attended fair, and met many friends. Mr. Wendte kindly set me to work at a Book and Tract Table, and I sold two books and distributed a quant.i.ty of free matter.
_December 5._ Am thoroughly on the road to the Book and Tract Table in the church. Hope it may prove a good thing, and that I shall do it _faithfully_.
_December 12._ Have been miserable all the week, and quite sick two and a half hours Thursday. Couldn't raise my head, and had to pretty much give up all day. Had sociable this week, and I was on hand to urge the book trade, and hoped to have a supply to-day, but was disappointed in it. It was one of the unsatisfactory days to me, for I have had such a tremendous noise in my head that I couldn't hear at all.
_December 19._ Held a meeting at Mrs. ----'s on Friday, with regard to the Woman's Auxiliary Missionary work. It has been decided that I am to take charge of distribution of Liberal publications, also to canva.s.s for the "Register." Had Mr. Mayo to preach for us to-day. I was astonished to hear how well I heard him, and how _natural_ it seemed. It made my cross all the heavier in contrast.
[The sonnet, "Strength for the Day," by Rachel G. Alsop, is copied to close this day's record.]
_Feb. 10, 1881._ Began committing "A Statement of Unitarian Belief in Bible Language."
_February 13._ I have felt rather depressed this week, and _needed_ the church to-day, which did do me good, as I heard more of the sermon than I have heard for thirteen years.
_February 20._ Sermon to-day on "Are ye good Hearers?" I think my remark to Mr. Wendte last Sunday must have called it forth.... Mr.
Wendte made the following beautiful tribute to the deaf.... I heard just enough to overcome me, and thought two or three times that I should break down. Have cried and laughed over the sermon.
A long extract is copied into the journal, of which this is a portion:--
"Blindness only separates a man from Nature, but the loss of hearing also isolates him, more or less, from human companions.h.i.+p.
As a natural consequence, the deaf are apt to lose interest in the social life around them, and to grow discontented, suspicious, and morose. You and I know beautiful examples to the contrary,--persons so patient, brave, and uncomplaining amidst their heavy tribulation, so sunny of temper and full of human kindness, that they are a constant inspiration and joy to us. Yet theirs is a hard struggle, to remain true and sweet and Christian with such fearful odds against them in the journey of life."
_February 27._ Am becoming quite interested in missionary work in Ravenna, Ohio.
"We scatter seeds with careless hand, And dream we ne'er shall see them more; But for a thousand years Their fruit appears, In weeds that mar the land, Or healthful store."
_March 13._ To-day is my forty-sixth birthday, and I am about ready, or rather have resolved, to open a Circulating Library in the church, as quite a number are in favor of it. We organized our Women's Auxiliary Conference last Tuesday, of a rainy day: Mrs.
Fayette Smith, President; Mrs. Alice Williams Brotherton, Vice-president; Fannie Field, Treasurer and Recording Secretary; Miss Ellis, Corresponding Secretary; Executive Committee (with the above), Mrs. Davies Wilson, Miss Elizabeth D. Allen.
The foundation of the Circulating Library was Miss Ellis's own collection of religious books. Book lovers know what this sacrifice would have been to a less generous nature, one less intent on helping others. Additions were made by gifts from individuals and authors, and by Miss Ellis's occasional purchase of some book whose need she felt, until the library now numbers over one hundred and thirty volumes. These books were loaned at church, and by mail all over the country.
A letter to Rev. A. A. Livermore reveals the brisk, happy, and business-like Miss Ellis of the later years, with her hands at last full of work for her denomination. It also records the advent of her first correspondent, Mr. Julius Woodruff.
MARCH 10, 1881.
I have been better in health this winter than for many years,--for a severe winter is all the better for me,--and have been able to keep _very_ busy. Mr. Wendte has made me chairman of a Book and Tract Table in the church, which has kept me very busy; and in addition, the Unity Club made me Corresponding Secretary of their Sunday Afternoon Lecture Committee, which involved distributing the tickets (one thousand) and then collecting the money on them.... In the mean time, too, I was agent here for the "Register," had that to attend to, besides attending to sale of books, paying for them, and sending new orders, also "Unity" subscribers coming in, and hunting up members for the Women's Auxiliary Conference, and receiving their money. Now, do you not think for one who has always been more spiritually inclined, that I have taken quite _too_ much to money matters?
Well, in distributing "Registers" through the State I have come across a very interesting, appreciative young man of twenty-one, in Ravenna, Ohio, and I have reason to think we have created quite a stir in the little town. Mr. Woodruff, my correspondent, writes a very good letter, and is quite enthusiastic on the subject of Unitarianism, and is willing to do missionary work, distributing widely the doc.u.ments I send him, and has recommended a young man, formerly a student of theology, an intelligent, thinking man, who is much interested in our views. He now works on a farm and teaches school, in order to gain an education. On Wednesday last we organized our Women's Auxiliary Conference, at which I read Mr.
Woodruff's letters, and the ladies at once moved that we should propose Meadville to our young friend, whose name is ----. I am to write and ask whether he would like to go to the college at Meadville, and in the mean time am to find out through you the conditions on which he could be admitted. I should be only too happy if I prove the means of a.s.sisting one young man to the ministry, and shall feel that all these many years of interest in the church have not been lost, if we only succeed in doing this much good. Besides all this other work, I find the ladies are much in favor of a Circulating Library in the church, so I am going to found my library soon.
The journal, March 20, shows the indomitable will that ruled the feeble body:--