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Mrs. Arderne welcomed Brian most kindly. True, she did not think that in becoming engaged to him Catherine had acted wisely, but her womanly instinct was aroused to take benevolent interest in a love affair. She could not help being prepossessed in Brian's favour by the first glimpse of his expressive, clever-looking, worn face. And the manner in which she showed her kindness was the best evidence she could have given of her sympathy.
'I will take care of the children,' she said. 'You and Mr. North can have a quiet half-hour in the garden before lunch. You must have reams to say to each other.'
So Catherine led him out, and they strolled up and down the narrow gravel paths, under the gnarled branches of venerable apple trees, in and out among the flower beds, and past the vegetables. Then he began to tell her about his troubles.
'You are much poorer, then, than you were?' she said quickly, glancing at his face. 'And I might have helped you--I mean, I might have schemed to gain a fortune--and I won't even try to do so. Brian, tell me all that is in your heart now, all the thoughts that came to you when you read my long letter.'
'I love and admire my dear brave girl more than ever. When I had read her letter all through, I told myself that she was a woman in a thousand, that it was a privilege indeed to be allowed to work for her.
Then, if you want a complete account, I smiled over the description of Uncles Ross and Jack, and reflected, "What a first-rate old chap the colonel must be!"'
'Did you? I'm glad. You must love him. And you do not in the very least wee bit blame me for having accepted the home he offered me?'
'No, Catherine; I would have you happy and free to follow your own ideal. We should neither of us know much happiness, my dear one, if we were a rich relative's pensioners, obliged to humour all his whims, and keep silent when we disapproved of his practices.'
'You are--just the Brian I knew you were!' she exclaimed gratefully.
'Only poorer.'
'A new post will be found some day. Meanwhile you will have a badly-needed rest!'
'The literary labour-market is fearfully overcrowded, Catherine. I doubt if I shall obtain more employment,--not before Christmas, at all events.
Every week of idleness postpones our wedding day.'
'G.o.d will help us, even in worldly matters, if we ask Him to, and if we trust Him, dearest. Tell me, have you _thought_, as you promised to think? Have you studied your Bible? Have you prayed for faith?'
'Yes, to all three questions. I do believe, but my new faith is not strong enough to stand some tests I have put it to--one test especially.'
'What is it?'
'If G.o.d took you away from me, Cath, I could not forgive Him.'
'Yet G.o.d gave me to you. But for His will we should never have crossed one another's paths, never loved one another.'
'That truth would in no way minimise the loss we are supposing.'
'If I were to die, you would not wish that we had never loved one another?'
'No, no!'
'Then, by your own admission, G.o.d would have conferred a boon upon you, even if He had done that which, in thought, appals you.'
'The apparent cruelty of His will would not be less.'
'You are not rebellious now because we are parted for weeks together, Brian.'
'Because I am hoping for a time when we shall be always together, dearest.'
She smiled radiantly.
'Ah! you have answered your own doubt! _Life_ is only as a day compared with eternity. What though G.o.d, for some wise and good purpose, were to part us on earth! has He not promised an everlasting home of perfect happiness after life? Oh, dear boy, let us praise Him every hour for the gift of love He has generously bestowed on us. Don't let us use His gift to deny Him! Besides, it is wrong for a weak human creature to consider persistently and hopelessly all the possible sorrows of his future. G.o.d has promised not to fail us, to send us grace sufficient for the differing needs of every crisis. We can't expect to be brave _in advance_, but we must trust Him to give us our "daily bread."'
'You mean that if G.o.d takes you from me some day, He will give me strength to bear the blow?'
'Yes, dear; that is certain.'
'And I am no hypocrite if I thank Him for a gift which I cannot yet bear the thought of His recalling?'
'Not if you try honestly to pray, as He taught us, "Thy will be done."
That does not mean that you think yourself ready, unaided, to bear the blow, only that you admit His right to do as He pleases with His own creations, and that you believe His will to be designed for our highest welfare.'
Brian sighed, as a man does from whom a great trouble has departed.
'I will believe that G.o.d is good, therefore that He is merciful to the weakness of His servants. My faith grows stronger when you teach me, Catherine.'
CHAPTER IX
An Important Offer
Mrs. Arderne had kindly invited Brian North to stay to lunch, as he and Catherine were to go to Carm Hall early that afternoon.
'On your return from the visit to Mr. Carmichael you can take your bag and find an inn,' she suggested.
During the meal she occupied herself in studying Brian, 'drawing him out,' by artful questions on literary and other matters. While quite aware of her scrutiny and purpose, he allowed himself to gratify her curiosity as much as possible, acknowledging tacitly her right as Catherine's friend to be anxious lest Catherine's lover should prove a simpleton or a cad!
Brian was keenly amused. Not being a very young man, he was free from self-consciousness under the investigation, and was able to repay study by study. Vivacious, worldly little Mrs. Arderne, with her contradictory feelings towards Catherine's lover--half desirous of agreeing with Catherine's choice, yet disappointed because Catherine had been 'so romantic' as to accept a penniless suitor--was a charmingly inconsistent character for the writer to consider.
The result of this mutual interest was naturally twofold. Brian decided that he was glad Catherine possessed so true-hearted a friend, and Mrs.
Arderne came to the conclusion that Brian was a man of delightful manners, brilliant wit, good breeding, and undoubted talents--a fit husband for Catherine in every way but that of fortune!
Lunch over, Ted and Toddie came down to be played with as usual, and immediately insisted upon questioning Mr. North at great length as to where he lived, and why he lived there, what he did all day long, and why he did it, etc., etc. By his answers he gave purposely an accurate account of his circ.u.mstances,--more for the information of Mrs. Arderne than to please her children.
'I write for papers--sometimes all night long, while you little people are comfortably sleeping,' he said, laughingly lifting them on to his knees. 'It is tiring work, and I can't say I'm fond of doing it; I should like to sit at home and write about things that interest me--to make books, you know. Only people are not paid for doing the things that amuse them, and if I did not work for money I shouldn't ever have any jam to eat with my bread and b.u.t.ter. I really doubt if I should have even the bread without the b.u.t.ter!'
Ted and Toddie stared solemnly at him.
'It's _your_ lessons. We don't get money at all for doing ours, though.'
'For shame, Ted!' cried Catherine. 'You get prizes when you are good, industrious children, and your work is not worth money yet. Some day, when you are quite grown up, you will be able to earn payment, as Mr.
North does, but only if you learn well while you are young.'
'Did _you_ learn well when you were six?' asked Toddie, anxiously peering into his face.
'I am not quite certain, dear, but I was always very fond of reading.'