Tessa Wadsworth's Discipline Part 4

He turned suddenly facing Tessa as they stood alone in the hall; he was seriousness itself now; a look of care had settled over his features. He was not a "big boy," he was a man, undisciplined, it is true, but a man to whom life meant many disappointments and hard work.

"What is the matter with you? Do you ever go to sleep? If you do not give up thinking and take to nonsense and novels, I shall be called to take you through a nervous fever. Mind, I am in earnest. Don't spend too much time in was.h.i.+ng the disciples' feet either; it is very charming to be St. Theresa, but you are not strong enough."

"Thank you. I am well. Is Sue at home?"

"No, she stays at Old Place until her knight departs. He had better go soon or I shall meet him in the woods. Alone. At midnight. What is he trifling with her for? Does he intend to marry her?"

Was this his thorn? Could he love a shallow girl like Sue Greyson?

"Ought we to talk about her?" she asked gently.

"You are her friend. You are older than she is. She will not listen to me. Her father takes no more care of her than he does of you."

"She has not cared for me lately."

"She does care for you. You must pull her through this. Towne made a fool of a girl I know-she is married, though; it didn't smash her affections very deep; married rich, too. But it will be a pity for Sue to have a heartache all for nix; she is a guileless piece; I would be sorry for her to have a disappointment."

"Motherless children are always taken care of," she answered trying to speak lightly.

In the twilight she sat alone at the parlor grate; it was beginning to rain; through the mist the lights in kitchen and parlor opposite were gleaming; Dinah and Bridget were laughing in the bas.e.m.e.nt; a quick, hard cough, then her father's voice in a concerned tone sounded through the stillness.

Why was she feeling lonely and as if her heart would break, unless somebody should come, or unless somebody gave her something, or unless something happened? In story-books, when one was in such a mood, in a misty twilight something always happened.

Why were there not such strong helpers in her life as women in books always found? Compared with the grand, good, winning lover in books, what were the men she knew? Why, Dr. Lake was frivolous, Felix Harrison weak, Gus Hammerton practical and pedantic, and Mr. Towne heartless and stupid!

"Gus is here," said Dinah, her head appearing at the door, "and he has brought you a book! But I'm going to read it first."

"Well, I'll come," she answered. But she did not go for half an hour; Mr. Hammerton took the new book to her immediately and talked to her until her pale cheeks were in a glow.

The last day of the year, what a day it was!

It was like a mellow day in October; in the afternoon Tessa found herself wandering through Mayfield; as she sauntered past the school-house a voice arrested her, one of the voices that she knew best in the world. She stood near the entrance listening.

That thrilling pathetic voice; it had never touched her as it touched her to-day.

"Old year, you shall not die; We did so laugh and cry with you, I've half a mind to die with you, Old year, if you must die."

She stood but a moment, the voice read on, but she did not care to listen; she went on at a slow pace, enjoying each step of the way past the barren fields lying warm and brown in the sunlight, past the farm-houses, past the low-eaved homestead of the Harrisons, past the iron gates of the Old Place with the voice in her ears and the sigh for the old year in her heart. She almost wished that she could love Felix Harrison; she had refused him five times since her seventeenth birthday and in May she would be twenty-five! He had said that he would never ask her again. Why should she wish for any change to come into her life? If she might always live in the present, she would be content; she had her father and mother and Dine and Gus; her world was broad enough.

The sound of wheels had been pursuing her; a sudden stoppage, then another voice that she knew called to her, "Miss Tessa, will you ride with me?"

"Perhaps you are not going my way," she said lightly.

"I am going to Dunellen." He answered her words only.

As soon as they were seated in the carriage, she said very gravely, "I wrote you a letter last night, but I burned it this morning."

"I am sorry for that."

The words came out with a gasp and a jerk; she did not know that words _could_ choke like that, but she was glad as soon as she had spoken.

"Mr. Towne, are you engaged to Sue Greyson?"

"Engaged! And to Sue Greyson!"

"I did not ask to be saucy-I did not believe it-but don't be heartless-don't be cruel-don't be stupid, do think about her, and don't let her die of shame."

"Excuse me, Miss Tessa. Why should you talk to me about Sue Greyson?"

"I knew that you would not understand."

"Perhaps you can explain."

"I can't explain; you ought to know."

"What ought I to know?" he queried, looking down at her with the suns.h.i.+ne in his eyes.

"It seems mean in me to tell you such a thing, but I do not know of any other way for your sake and hers. I would do any thing to keep you from doing a heartless thing."-Another heartless thing, she almost said.-"I would do any thing for Sue, as I would for Dine if _she_ had been led into trusting in a lie."

His face became perplexed, uncomprehending.

"Are you trying to tell me that Sue Greyson thinks that I am intending to marry her and that I have given her an occasion to believe it? You are warning me against trifling with Sue?"

"Yes."

"How do you know that she thinks so?"

"Nonsense! How do I know any thing?"

"I should as soon have thought-" he ended with a laugh.

"A woman's heart is not made of grains of sand to be blown hither and thither by a man's breath," she said very earnestly.

"Miss Tessa, you accuse me wrongfully. I have been kind to Sue-I have intended to be kind. Her life at home is too quiet for her, she has few friends and no education; you call me heartless. I thought that I was most brotherly and thoughtful."

His sincerity almost rea.s.sured her. Had she misjudged him?

"I beg your pardon," she said, after an uncomfortable pause. "I did not know that Old Place was a monastery and that you were a monk. If you are speaking sincerely, you are the most stupid human being that ever breathed; if you are not sincere, you are too wily for me to understand."

The color rose to his forehead, but he was silent.

"Mr. Towne! Excuse me. I am apt to speak too strongly; but I care so much for Sue. She is only a child in her experiences; she has no fore-thought, she trusts every body, and she thinks that you are so good and wonderful. She does not understand any thing but sincerity. Will you think about her?"

"I will."

She was almost frightened, was he angry?

"Are you angry with me?" she asked, laying her hand on his arm. "You can not misinterpret me; I don't want Sue to be hurt, and I do not want you to be capable of hurting her."