Junie B. Jones And The Yucky Blucky Fruitcake Part 5

I smiled real big.

"Yea!" I hollered. "Yea for the delicious fruitcake! 'Cause fruit is the bestest thing I love. And so that's the one I pick!"

Mother shook her head. "No, Junie B. It's not the kind of fruit you think it is. You're not going to like it."

I stopped smiling.

"Yeah, only that is not fair and square of you. 'Cause you said I could pick any cake I wanted. And now I pick the fruitcake. And you say I can't have it."

Mother rolled her eyes up at the ceiling.

"Fine. Take the fruitcake," she grouched.

She lifted it off the table for me.

"NO! ME! ME! I WANT TO CARRY IT!" I hollered.

"It's very heavy," said Mother.

"Yeah, only that's how come I have muscley muscles in my arms," I explained.

I bended my arm to show her. "See? See my muscle b.u.mp? That's how strong I am."

Finally, Mother put the cake in my arms.

It dropped on the floor.

"Whoa!" I said. "That is the strongest fruit I ever felt!"

"Now do you want me to carry it?" Mother asked. do you want me to carry it?" Mother asked.

"No," I said. "'Cause I just got a great idea in my head!"

Then I put my heavy cake of fruit down on the floor.

And I dragged it right out of Room Nine!

8/The Most Usefulest Cake I Love

I dragged my fruitcake down the hall. Mother walked behind me. Her cheeks were very sucked into her head.

"Want to drag it? Want to drag my cake of fruit?" I asked her.

Mother said the word I'll pa.s.s I'll pa.s.s.

That's how come I dragged my fruitcake to the Moon Walk Tent. All by myself.

And guess what?

Daddy was waiting with my other shoe! It had gotten stuck under that big tent. And we didn't even see it there!

I put it on my foot. "Hurray!" I said. "Now everything is happily ever after. 'Cause I have my shoes named pat-and-leather. And also I have a delicious cake of fruit! See it, Daddy? See the cake I won!"

Daddy looked at my cake in s.h.i.+ny aluminum.

Then he looked at Mother.

He shook his head very slow. "No," he said. "Don't tell me."

Mother rocked back and forth on her feet.

"Yupper," she said.

Daddy closed his eyes. "You mean she picked..."

"A fruitcake," said Mother.

I jumped way high in the air again. "Yea! Yea! A fruitcake! I picked a fruitcake! And now I would like to see what it looks like. Only I can't even lift this big guy off the ground."

Daddy picked it up and set it on the table.

I pulled off the aluminum foil.

Then I just stared and stared at that thing.

It was brownish and slickish. And there was slippery s.h.i.+ne on the top.

"It got rotted," I said very quiet.

Mother smiled a little bit. "It's not rotten, Junie B.," she said, "That's just the way fruitcakes look."

I looked closer at it. "Yeah, only I don't even see any fruits on this gunky thing."

Daddy pinched off a little piece for me to look at. He showed me some hard green things. And some hard yellow things. And some hard red things. He said those were the fruits.

I put my tongue on a green one.

"Yuck!" I said. "Bluck!"

Just then I heard a voice.

"JUNIE B.! JUNIE B.! LOOK WHAT I WON AT THE CAKE WALK!"

I turned around.

It was my bestest friend, Lucille. She was running at me with a box of fluffy white cupcakes. They had beautiful rainbow sprinkles on them.

"See them, Junie B.? See how delicious they look?" said Lucille.

"Yeah? So?" I said.

Lucille looked on the table where my cake was.

"What's that?" she asked. "Did you win a cake, too? Can I see it, please?"

I jumped in front of it.

"No. You cannot," I said.

Only Lucille stood on her tippy-toes. And she peeked right around my shoulder.

She made a sick face. "Ick," she said. "What happened to it?"

"Nothing happened to it, that's what," I said back.

I quick put the aluminum foil on it again.

Then I climbed up on the table bench. And I pumped up my muscles. And I lifted my fruitcake way high in the air.

"This could kill you if I dropped it on your head, Lucille," I said very straining.

Lucille ran to her nanna speedy quick.

After that, I got down from the bench. And I dragged my cake of fruit all the way to my car.

Daddy unlocked the door for me.

"Get in. And I'll set your fruitcake on your lap," he told me.

"Yeah, only that thing will squish my legs into flatties," I said.

And so Daddy put my fruitcake on the seat beside me.

I climbed on top of it and buckled up my seat belt.

"Hey. I can see out the window when I sit on this thing. And it doesn't even smush down," I said.

Daddy made a rhyme. "Fruitcake. The seat seat you can you can eat eat," he said.

"Yeah, only I never even want to taste this yucky blucky thing again," I told him.

Mother smiled. "But that's the great thing about fruitcake, Junie B.," she said. "You never actually have to eat it. Because it never goes bad."

"Fruitcake has been known to last for years," said Daddy. "And if you ever get tired of it, you just put a bow on it. And you give it to someone you hate for Christmas."

Then him and Mother laughed and laughed. Only I didn't even get that joke.

Pretty soon, Daddy drove the car into our driveway.

I carried my fruitcake into the house.

Except for just then, it started to slip out of my arms. And so I quick plopped it in my kitchen chair.

I climbed on top of it again.

"Hey! Look how big I am! I'm all the way raised up to the table. And this fruitcake doesn't even hurt my behiney!"

I smiled very happy.

"This is the most usefulest cake I ever heard of!" I said.

After that, Daddy carried my fruitcake into my room for me.

He put it on my shelf.

Then him and Mother tucked me into bed.

I waited for their feet to walk away.

Then I took my flashlight from under my pillow. And I s.h.i.+ned it on my fruitcake.

The aluminum foil sparkled in the dark. It was the most beautiful sight I ever saw.

I smiled some more.

'Cause I am a lucky duck to win that special thing.

And also, I appreciate my comb.

Laugh out loud with Junie B. Jones!

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Barbara Park says: "For some reason, our family always had bad luck at school carnivals. The year my son David won the Cake Walk, there was only one cake left and it tasted like cardboard. The next year, someone stole my son Steve's new shoes while he was leaping around inside the Moon Walk Tent.

Little did I know that all of these disasters would come in handy when Junie B. Jones went to her own school carnival. In fact, with a little imagination, I found I could make Junie B.'s carnival experience even worse than our own!