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She rose to her feet, but I noticed that she turned her face away and would not look at me. I could feel that she was trembling violently.
In spite of this I continued:
"Alie! You must see that I love you with my whole heart and soul. From the moment I first saw you on your yacht's deck I have been your slave. I know it is madness for a man like me to hope to win such a queen among women as yourself; but I cannot help it. Send me away from you if you will, but there is one thing beyond your power to do, and that is to take away from me my love."
"Hush, hus.h.!.+ for pity's sake!"
"No, Alie; I cannot stop. I have gone too far now to draw back. Day by day I have hidden away in my heart--I have tried to crush down and stifle, this love of mine; but it will not be hidden, it will not be crushed, it will not be stifled. Now the flood has risen, it has burst its bonds and washed away all thought of prudence. You have learned my secret. Alie, is there no hope at all for me? I know I am not worthy of you, but I am an honest man, and I love you with my whole heart and soul."
"Dr. De Normanville," she said slowly, turning her tear-stained face towards me, "I am sorry, more sorry than you will ever guess, that you should have told me this. Many men have let me know their love before now, and I was able to tell them without pain to myself that it could not be. Now, you love me, you who have been so true and so brave, and I have to make you see that what you wish can never be possible. Do not think I am insensible of the honour you have done me, for it would honour any woman to be asked to be your wife. Do not think that it does not pain me to hurt you so. But, oh, Dr. De Normanville, cannot you see that I can be no man's wife, much less yours?"
"And why, in Heaven's name, not?"
All this time she had not attempted to withdraw her hand from mine.
"Because, according to your lights, I am not worthy. You have this moment called yourself an honest man. Well, then, judged by your ideas of honesty, I am not an honest woman. Look at your own career; look at the name you have already created for yourself; think of your future; then how can I--a woman, hunted by every nation, a woman on whose head a price is set, who dares not show her face in a civilised country--allow herself to share that name and that future with you.
Ask yourself that question, and answer it before you think of making me your wife."
"I can have no future without you!"
"That is no answer to my question. No, Dr. De Normanville, I am sorry, more sorry than you will ever know, that this trouble should have come upon you. But when you have time to reflect, you will see, as clearly as I do, that what you ask is impossible. It can never be!"
"One question before you say it cannot be!" I cried. "I will not insult you by imploring you to tell me the truth. You will do that without my asking. But we will suppose for the moment that you were not the outlaw you declare yourself to be, and I asked you the same question, will you tell me if you would give me the same answer, then?"
"It is unfair of you to put it in that way," she said, toying with a leaf. "But since you _do_ ask, I will tell you truthfully. If I were in the position you describe, and you asked me to share your life with you, I would give you this answer, that I would be your wife or the wife of no other man."
"You love me then, Alie?"
My heart seemed to stop beating while I waited for her answer. When it did pa.s.s her lips, it was so soft that I could hardly hear it.
"Yes, I do love you."
Before she could prevent me I had taken her in my arms, and rained kisses upon her beautiful face. For a moment she did not resist. Then she withdrew herself, panting, from my arms.
"Let me go," she gasped; "you must not do this. No, no, no! What am I telling you. Oh, why cannot you see that what you wish is impossible?"
"As I live," I cried in return, "it is not impossible, and it never shall be! Since you own yourself that you love me, I will not live without you. I love you as I verily believe man never loved woman before. If I were a poet instead of a prosaic doctor, I should tell you, Alie, that to me your smile is like G.o.d's suns.h.i.+ne; I would tell you that the wind only blows to carry to the world the story of my love for you; I would tell you all this and more--yes, a thousand times more. But I am no poet, I am only a man who loves you for your own beautiful self, for your sweetness, your loneliness, your tenderness to those about you. What does fame mean for me! I want only you. Let me have you for my companion through life, and I will go with you where you wish, stay here with you, if you please, or go away, just as you may decide; I have but one ambition, and that is to be worthy of you, to help you to do good. All I ask is to be allowed to live the life you live yourself!"
"And you think that I would let you make this sacrifice for me? No!
no! Oh, why cannot you see that it is impossible?"
Again I attempted to take her in my arms. But this time she eluded me, and with a choking sob fled through the scrub towards the camp. Seeing that it was useless to attempt to reason with her in her present state, I followed more leisurely, reaching the huts just as the gong was sounding for dinner. As soon as my ablutions were performed, I sought the dining hut, but my hostess was not there. I waited, and presently the servant arrived to inform me that she was not well, and would dine in her own apartment.
I was not prepared for this, and my thoughts during my solitary meal, and when I was smoking on the plateau before the huts afterwards, were by no means pleasant. Glad though I was that I had made her aware of my sentiments towards her, I almost began to wish, if she were going to avoid me, that I had deferred my explanation until we had reached the settlement again. But I was destined to see her that night after all.
About ten o'clock, just as I was thinking of retiring to my own hut, I heard a footstep behind my chair, and a moment later Alie, accompanied by her dog, stood before me.
"Dr. De Normanville," she said softly, "I cannot imagine what you must think of me? I have come to tell you that I felt I could not sleep until I had apologised to you."
Her penitence sat so prettily upon her that it was as much as I could do to prevent myself taking her in my arms and telling her so. But I managed somehow to keep myself within bounds, and only said in reply:
"You must not say a word about it. I was equally to blame. Great as is my love for you, I should not have forced it upon you in that unseemly fas.h.i.+on."
"No! No! Don't say that. I want you really to understand my grat.i.tude.
That I love you, I have said. Perhaps I ought not to have confessed it. But seeing that I have done so, and have told you exactly what my position in the world is, you must see that it is that very love which keeps me from giving myself to you as I should like to do. I don't make my meaning very clear, but can you understand that?"
"I think I do," I said. "But it does not alter my position. I love you as I shall never love any other woman. As I told you this afternoon, my whole life is bound up in you. It remains for you to say whether I shall be the happiest or the most miserable of men. Remember, save for my sister, I am alone in the world. Therefore, as she is amply provided for, I have only myself to think of. If you will have me, I will give my life to you to do as you please with."
"This generosity is like yourself. Will you let me make a bargain with you?"
"What is it?"
"It is this. First, you shall promise not to speak of this to me again until I give you permission."
"I will promise that. And on your part?"
"I will promise to give you my answer at the end of twelve months. In the meantime, you will go back to England, live your own life, and on the first day of May next year, if you still love me, and are as anxious then to make your sacrifice as you are now, I will meet you again and be your wife as soon as you please. What do you say?"
For a few moments I could answer nothing; then, though I am not theatrically inclined as a general rule, I fell on my knee, and taking her hand kissed it, saying in a voice I hardly recognised as my own:
"My queen and my wife!"
"You are content to abide by that?"
"Since you wish it, I am _more_ than content," I answered, my heart overflowing with happiness.
"Then let us say no more on the subject. Good-night! and may G.o.d bless you!"
She turned and left me without another word, and when I had seen her disappear into her hut, I too sought my couch, to dream, as I hoped, of the happiness that the future had in store for me.
CHAPTER VII.
AN EXCITING DAY.
But though I went to bed to sleep, and was sufficiently romantic to hope that I should dream of the future I was to spend with Alie, I was destined to be disappointed. My mind was in such a state of excitement that no sort of rest was possible to me. Hour after hour I tossed and tumbled upon my couch, now hovering on the borderland of sleep, now wide awake, listening to the murmur of the stream beyond the camp, and the thousand and one noises of the night. When at last I did doze off, my dreams were not pleasant, and I awoke from them quite unrefreshed.
Springing out of bed I went to the door to look out. It was broad daylight, and the sun was in the act of rising. To go back to bed was impossible, so, as breakfast was still some hours ahead, I dressed myself, took a rifle from the stand, and slipping a dozen or so cartridges into the pocket of my shooting coat, procured a few biscuits from the dining-hut, and strolled across the open s.p.a.ce into the forest beyond. It was a glorious morning for a hunting excursion, and before I had gone half a mile I had secured a fine deer for the camp's commissariat. Fixing the spot where I had left it, and feeling certain some of the natives would soon be on my trail after hearing the report, I plunged further into the jungle, capturing here and there a beetle, a b.u.t.terfly, or a bird, as they chanced to fall in my way.
While I walked my brain was busily occupied, but dominating all was the remembrance that Alie--the wonderful, the beautiful, the mysterious Alie--loved me. What cared I for the sort of life she led?
What did it matter to me, since I had seen and grasped her real character for myself, what other people might say of her? Had I not observed her courage in moments of extreme peril? had I not witnessed her tenderness by the bedside of dying men and women? had I not noted her devotion to what she considered her duty? Yes, and better than all was the knowledge that she had promised to be my wife if I would wait a year for her. Would I wait? Why, of course I would--ten years, twenty, nay a lifetime, if only I could secure her at the end.
With these thoughts in my mind, I trudged briskly on, keeping both eyes open for any specimens, botanical or otherwise, that might come in my way. Then leaving the little stream, whose course we had followed on the previous day, behind me, I struck out towards the west, and presently forsook the forest, to emerge on to an open plain about a mile long by half that distance wide. To the northward lay a high cane brake, to the south a deep ravine, and on the open between them a large herd of deer was feeding quietly. Remembering that I had been told on the previous day that the cook was short of fresh meat, I resolved to see how many I could bring to book. The only way to stalk them was, of course, to approach them upwind, and in order to do this it was necessary that I should cross a stony ridge which ran parallel with the edge of the ravine mentioned above. As there would not be a vestige of cover between us the chances were a hundred to one that I should reveal my presence to them while pa.s.sing over the open s.p.a.ce and then the herd would give one look and be off like the wind.
However, I was going to chance that, so throwing myself down flat upon my stomach, I wriggled myself up the side of the little eminence, pausing now and again to take breath, until I reached the summit, thence made my way out on to the bare face of the hill until, at the end of twenty minutes, I was within a thousand paces of them.
The herd still fed on, though once I saw an old buck raise his head and look round as if he scented danger. But as I remained quiet for a few moments he resumed his feeding, and when he had done so I continued my painful crawl. But the worst part of the business was still to come, for having got up to them against the wind I had now, unless I was content to chance a long shot, to descend the hillock again on to the plain. This was a piece of work which would necessitate wriggling myself down a steep incline, head first, and promised to be a most unpleasant experience.
Once on the flat I lay still to recover my wind, and then taking advantage of every tuft and stone, began to approach my quarry. At the end of three-quarters of an hour's hard work, counting from the time I had first seen them, I was near enough to get a shot, and accordingly I took a cartridge from my pocket and slipped it into the breech of the rifle. As I did so my elbow overturned a large stone, which rolled down into the ravine; instantly half a dozen of the herd lifted their heads, including my old friend the big buck, who on nearer approach, turned out to be a really magnificent animal.