The Anatomy of Melancholy Part 59

a filthy knave, a deformed quean, a crooked carca.s.s, a mawkin, a witch, a rotten post, a hedgestake may be so set out and tricked up, that it shall make as fair a show, as much enamour as the rest: many a silly fellow is so taken. _Primum luxuriae, aucupium_, one calls it, the first snare of l.u.s.t; [4999]_Bossus aucupium animarum, lethalem arundinem_, a fatal reed, the greatest bawd, _forte lenocinium, sanguineis lachrymis deplorandum_, saith [5000]Matenesius, and with tears of blood to be deplored. Not that comeliness of clothes is therefore to be condemned, and those usual ornaments: there is a decency and decorum in this as well as in other things, fit to be used, becoming several persons, and befitting their estates; he is only fantastical that is not in fas.h.i.+on, and like an old image in arras hangings, when a manner of attire is generally received; but when they are so new-fangled, so unstaid, so prodigious in their attires, beyond their means and fortunes, unbefitting their age, place, quality, condition, what should we otherwise think of them? Why do they adorn themselves with so many colours of herbs, fict.i.tious flowers, curious needleworks, quaint devices, sweet-smelling odours, with those inestimable riches of precious stones, pearls, rubies, diamonds, emeralds, &c.? Why do they crown themselves with gold and silver, use coronets and tires of several fas.h.i.+ons, deck themselves with pendants, bracelets, earrings, chains, girdles, rings, pins, spangles, embroideries, shadows, rebatoes, versicolour ribands? why do they make such glorious shows with their scarves, feathers, fans, masks, furs, laces, tiffanies, ruffs, falls, calls, cuffs, damasks, velvets, tinsels, cloth of gold, silver, tissue?

with colours of heavens, stars, planets: the strength of metals, stones, odours, flowers, birds, beasts, fishes, and whatsoever Africa, Asia, America, sea, land, art, and industry of man can afford? Why do they use and covet such novelty of inventions; such new-fangled tires, and spend such inestimable sums on them? "To what end are those crisped, false hairs, painted faces," as [5001]the satirist observes, "such a composed gait, not a step awry?" Why are they like so many Sybarites, or Nero's Poppaea, Ahasuerus' concubines, so costly, so long a dressing, as Caesar was marshalling his army, or a hawk in pruning? [5002]_Dum moliuntur, dum comuntur annus est_: a [5003]gardener takes not so much delight and pains in his garden, a horseman to dress his horse, scour his armour, a mariner about his s.h.i.+p, a merchant his shop and shop-book, as they do about their faces, and all those other parts: such setting up with corks, straightening with whalebones; why is it, but as a day-net catcheth larks, to make young men stoop unto them? Philocharus, a gallant in Aristenaetus, advised his friend Poliaenus to take heed of such enticements, [5004]"for it was the sweet sound and motion of his mistress's spangles and bracelets, the smell of her ointments, that captivated him first," _Illa fuit mentis prima ruina meae_. _Quid sibi vult pixidum turba_, saith [5005]Lucian, "to what use are pins, pots, gla.s.ses, ointments, irons, combs, bodkins, setting-sticks? why bestow they all their patrimonies and husbands' yearly revenues on such fooleries?" [5006]_bina patrimonia singulis auribus_; "why use they dragons, wasps, snakes, for chains, enamelled jewels on their necks, ears?"

_dignum potius foret ferro ma.n.u.s istas religari, atque utinam monilia vere dracones essent_; they had more need some of them be tied in bedlam with iron chains, have a whip for a fan, and hair-cloths next to their skins, and instead of wrought smocks, have their cheeks stigmatised with a hot iron: I say, some of our Jezebels, instead of painting, if they were well served. But why is all this labour, all this cost, preparation, riding, running, far-fetched, and dear bought stuff? [5007]"Because forsooth they would be fair and fine, and where nature, is defective, supply it by art."

[5008]_Sanguine quae vero non rubet, arte rubet_, (Ovid); and to that purpose they anoint and paint their faces, to make Helen of Hecuba--_parvamque exortamque puellam--Europen._[5009]To this intent they crush in their feet and bodies, hurt and crucify themselves, sometimes in lax-clothes, a hundred yards I think in a gown, a sleeve; and sometimes again so close, _ut nudos exprimant artus._ [5010]Now long tails and trains, and then short, up, down, high, low, thick, thin, &c.; now little or no bands, then as big as cart wheels; now loose bodies, then great farthingales and close girt, &c. Why is all this, but with the wh.o.r.e in the Proverbs, to intoxicate some or other? _oculorum decipulam_, [5011]one therefore calls it, _et indicem libidinis_, the trap of l.u.s.t, and sure token, as an ivy-bush is to a tavern.

"Quod pulchros Glycere sumas de pixide vultus, Quod tibi compositae nec sine lege comae: Quod niteat digitis adamas, Beryllus in aure, Non sum divinus, sed scio quid cupias."

"O Glycere, in that you paint so much, Your hair is so bedeckt in order such.

With rings on fingers, bracelets in your ear, Although no prophet, tell I can, I fear."

To be admired, to be gazed on, to circ.u.mvent some novice; as many times they do, that instead of a lady he loves a cap and a feather instead of a maid that should have _verum colorem, corpus solidum et succi plenum_ (as Chaerea describes his mistress in the [5012]poet), a painted face, a ruff-band, fair and fine linen, a coronet, a flower, ([5013]_Naturaeque putat quod fuit artificis_,) a wrought waistcoat he dotes on, or a pied petticoat, a pure dye instead of a proper woman. For generally, as with rich-furred conies, their cases are far better than their bodies, and like the bark of a cinnamon, tree, which is dearer than the whole bulk, their outward accoutrements are far more precious than their inward endowments.

'Tis too commonly so.

[5014] "Auferimur cultu, et gemmis, auroque teguntur Omnia; pars minima est ipsa puella sui."

"With gold and jewels all is covered, And with a strange tire we are won, (Whilst she's the least part of herself) And with such baubles quite undone."

Why do they keep in so long together, a whole winter sometimes, and will not be seen but by torch or candlelight, and come abroad with all the preparation may be, when they have no business, but only to show themselves? _Spectatum veniunt, veniunt spectentur ut ipsae._

[5015] "For what is beauty if it be not seen, Or what is't to be seen if not admir'd, And though admir'd, unless in love desir'd?"

why do they go with such counterfeit gait, which [5016]Philo Judeus reprehends them for, and use (I say it again) such gestures, apish, ridiculous, indecent attires, sybaritical tricks, _fucos genis, purpurissam venis, cerussam fronti, leges occulis_, &c. use those sweet perfumes, powders and ointments in public; flock to hear sermons so frequent, is it for devotion? or rather, as [5017]Basil tells them, to meet their sweethearts, and see fas.h.i.+ons; for, as he saith, commonly they come so provided to that place, with such curious compliments, with such gestures and tires, as if they should go to a dancing-school, a stage-play, or bawdy-house, fitter than a church.

"When such a she-priest comes her ma.s.s to say, Twenty to one they all forget to pray."

"They make those holy temples, consecrated to G.o.dly martyrs and religious uses, the shops of impudence, dens of wh.o.r.es and thieves, and little better than brothel houses." When we shall see these things daily done, their husbands bankrupts, if not cornutos, their wives light housewives, daughters dishonest; and hear of such dissolute acts, as daily we do, how should we think otherwise? what is their end, but to deceive and inveigle young men? As tow takes fire, such enticing objects produce their effect, how can it be altered? When Venus stood before Anchises (as [5018]Homer feigns in one of his hymns) in her costly robes, he was instantly taken,

"c.u.m ante ipsum staret Jovis filia, videns eam Anchises, admirabatur formam, et stupendas vestes; Erat enim induta peplo, igneis radiis spiendidiore; Habebat quoque torques fulgidos, flexiles haelices, Tenerum collum ambiebant monilia pulchra, Aurea, variegata."------

"When Venus stood before Anchises first, He was amaz'd to see her in her tires; For she had on a hood as red as fire, And glittering chains, and ivy-twisted spires, About her tender neck were costly brooches, And necklaces of gold, enamell'd ouches."

So when Medea came in presence of Jason first, attended by her nymphs and ladies, as she is described by [5019]Apollonius,

"Cunctas vero ignis instar sequebatur splendor, Tantum ab aureis fimbriis resplendebat jubar, Accenditque in oculis dulce desiderium."

"A l.u.s.tre followed them like flaming fire, And from their golden borders came such beams, Which in his eyes provok'd a sweet desire."

Such a relation we have in [5020]Plutarch, when the queens came and offered themselves to Antony, [5021]"with diverse presents, and enticing ornaments, Asiatic allurements, with such wonderful joy and festivity, they did so inveigle the Romans, that no man could contain himself, all was turned to delight and pleasure. The women transformed themselves to Bacchus shapes, the men-children to Satyrs and Pans; but Antony himself was quite besotted with Cleopatra's sweet speeches, philters, beauty, pleasing tires: for when she sailed along the river Cydnus, with such incredible pomp in a gilded s.h.i.+p, herself dressed like Venus, her maids like the Graces, her pages like so many Cupids, Antony was amazed, and rapt beyond himself." Heliodorus, _lib. 1._ brings in Dameneta, stepmother to Cnemon, "whom she [5022]saw in his scarves, rings, robes, and coronet, quite mad for the love of him." It was Judith's pantofles that ravished the eyes of Holofernes. And [5023]Cardan is not ashamed to confess, that seeing his wife the first time all in white, he did admire and instantly love her. If these outward ornaments were not of such force, why doth [5024]Naomi give Ruth counsel how to please Boaz? and [5025]Judith, seeking to captivate Holofernes, washed and anointed herself with sweet ointments, dressed her hair, and put on costly attires. The riot in this kind hath been excessive in times past; no man almost came abroad, but curled and anointed,

[5026] "Et matutino suadans Crispinus amomo.

Quantum vix redolent duo funera."

"one spent as much as two funerals at once, and with perfumed hairs,"

[5027]_et rosa canos odorati capillos a.s.syriaque nardo_. What strange thing doth [5028]Sueton. relate in this matter of Caligula's riot? And Pliny, _lib. 12. & 13._ Read more in Dioscorides, Ulmus, Arnoldus, Randoletius _de fuco et decoratione_; for it is now an art, as it was of old, (so [5029]Seneca records) _officinae, sunt adores coquentium_. Women are bad and men worse, no difference at all between their and our times; [5030]"good manners" (as Seneca complains) "are extinct with wantonness, in tricking up themselves men go beyond women, they wear harlots' colours, and do not walk, but jet and dance," _hic mulier, haec vir_, more like players, b.u.t.terflies, baboons, apes, antics, than men. So ridiculous, moreover, we are in our attires, and for cost so excessive, that as Hierome said of old, _Uno filio villarum insunt pretia, uno lino decies sestertium inseritur_; 'tis an ordinary thing to put a thousand oaks and a hundred oxen into a suit of apparel, to wear a whole manor on his back. What with shoe-ties, hangers, points, caps and feathers, scarves, bands, curls, &c., in a short s.p.a.ce their whole patrimonies are consumed. Heliogabalus is taxed by Lampridius, and admired in his age for wearing jewels in his shoes, a common thing in our times, not for emperors and princes, but almost for serving men and tailors; all the flowers, stars, constellations, gold and precious stones do condescend to set out their shoes. To repress the luxury of those Roman matrons, there was [5031]Lex Valeria and Oppia, and a Cato to contradict; but no laws will serve to repress the pride and insolency of our days, the prodigious riot in this kind. Lucullus's wardrobe is put down by our ordinary citizens; and a cobbler's wife in Venice, a courtesan in Florence, is no whit inferior to a queen, if our geographers say true: and why is all this? "Why do they glory in their jewels" (as [5032]he saith) "or exult and triumph in the beauty of clothes? why is all this cost? to incite men the sooner to burning l.u.s.t." They pretend decency and ornament; but let them take heed, that while they set out their bodies they do not d.a.m.n their souls; 'tis [5033]Bernard's counsel: "s.h.i.+ne in jewels, stink in conditions; have purple robes, and a torn conscience." Let them take heed of Isaiah's prophecy, that their slippers and attires be not taken from them, sweet b.a.l.l.s, bracelets, earrings, veils, wimples, crisping-pins, gla.s.ses, fine linen, hoods, lawns, and sweet savours, they become not bald, burned, and stink upon a sudden. And let maids beware, as [5034]Cyprian adviseth, "that while they wander too loosely abroad, they lose not their virginities:" and like Egyptian temples, seem fair without, but prove rotten carcases within. How much better were it for them to follow that good counsel of Tertullian? [5035]"To have their eyes painted with chast.i.ty, the Word of G.o.d inserted into their ears, Christ's yoke tied to the hair, to subject themselves to their husbands. If they would do so, they should be comely enough, clothe themselves with the silk of sanct.i.ty, damask of devotion, purple of piety and chast.i.ty, and so painted, they shall have G.o.d himself to be a suitor: let wh.o.r.es and queans prank up themselves, [5036]let them paint their faces with minion and ceruse, they are but fuels of l.u.s.t, and signs of a corrupt soul: if ye be good, honest, virtuous, and religious matrons, let sobriety, modesty and chast.i.ty be your honour, and G.o.d himself your love and desire." _Mulier recte olet, ubi nihil olet_, then a woman smells best, when she hath no perfume at all; no crown, chain, or jewel (Guivarra adds) is such an ornament to a virgin, or virtuous woman, _quam virgini pudor_, as chast.i.ty is: more credit in a wise man's eye and judgment they get by their plainness, and seem fairer than they that are set out with baubles, as a butcher's meat is with p.r.i.c.ks, puffed up, and adorned like so many jays with variety of colours. It is reported of Cornelia, that virtuous Roman lady, great Scipio's daughter, t.i.tus Semp.r.o.nius' wife, and the mother of the Gracchi, that being by chance in company with a companion, a strange gentlewoman (some light housewife belike, that was dressed like a May lady, and, as most of our gentlewomen are, "was [5037]more solicitous of her head-tire than of her health, that spent her time between a comb and a gla.s.s, and had rather be fair than honest" (as Cato said), "and have the commonwealth turned topsy-turvy than her tires marred;" and she did nought but brag of her fine robes and jewels, and provoked the Roman matron to show hers: Cornelia kept her in talk till her children came from school, and these, said she, are my jewels, and so deluded and put off a proud, vain, fantastical, housewife.

How much better were it for our matrons to do as she did, to go civilly and decently, [5038]_Honestae mulieris instar quae ut.i.tur auro pro eo quod est, ad ea tantum quibus opus est_, to use gold as it is gold, and for that use it serves, and when they need it, than to consume it in riot, beggar their husbands, prost.i.tute themselves, inveigle others, and peradventure d.a.m.n their own souls? How much more would it be for their honour and credit?

Thus doing, as Hierom said of Blesilla, [5039]"Furius did not so triumph over the Gauls, Papyrius of the Samnites, Scipio of Numantia, as she did by her temperance;" _pulla semper veste_, &c., they should insult and domineer over l.u.s.t, folly, vainglory, all such inordinate, furious and unruly pa.s.sions.

But I am over tedious, I confess, and whilst I stand gaping after fine clothes, there is another great allurement, (in the world's eye at least) which had like to have stolen out of sight, and that is money, _veniunt a dote sagittae_, money makes the match; [5040][Greek: Monon arguron blepousin]: 'tis like sauce to their meat, _c.u.m carne condimentum_, a good dowry with a wife. Many men if they do hear but of a great portion, a rich heir, are more mad than if they had all the beauteous ornaments, and those good parts art and nature can afford, they [5041]care not for honesty, bringing up, birth, beauty, person, but for money.

[5042] "Canes et equos (o Cyrne) quaerimus n.o.biles, et a bona progenie; Malam vero uxorem, malique patris filiam Ducere non curat vir bonus, Modo ei magnam dotem afferat,"

"Our dogs and horses still from the best breed We carefully seek, and well may they speed: But for our wives, so they prove wealthy, Fair or foul, we care not what they be."

If she be rich, then she is fair, fine, absolute and perfect, then they burn like fire, they love her dearly, like pig and pie, and are ready to hang themselves if they may not have her. Nothing so familiar in these days, as for a young man to marry an old wife, as they say, for a piece of gold; _asinum auro onustum_; and though she be an old crone, and have never a tooth in her head, neither good conditions, nor a good face, a natural fool, but only rich, she shall have twenty young gallants to be suitors in an instant. As she said in Suetonius, _non me, sed mea ambiunt_, 'tis not for her sake, but for her lands or money; and an excellent match it were (as he added) if she were away. So on the other side, many a young lovely maid will cast away herself upon an old, doting, decrepit dizzard,

[5043] "Bis puer effoeto quamvis balbutiat ore, Prima legit rarae tam culta roseta puellae,"

that is rheumatic and gouty, hath some twenty diseases, perhaps but one eye, one leg, never a nose, no hair on his head, wit in his brains, nor honesty, if he have land or [5044]money, she will have him before all other suitors, [5045]_Dummodo sit dives barbarus ille placet_. "If he be rich, he is the man," a fine man, and a proper man, she will go to Jacaktres or Tidore with him; _Galesimus de monte aureo_. Sir Giles Goosecap, Sir Amorous La-Fool, shall have her. And as Philemasium in [5046] Aristaenetus told Emmusus, _absque argento omnia vana_, hang him that hath no money, "'tis to no purpose to talk of marriage without means," [5047] trouble me not with such motions; let others do as they will, "I'll be sure to have one shall maintain me fine and brave." Most are of her mind, [5048] _De moribus ultima fiet questio_, for his conditions, she shall inquire after them another time, or when all is done, the match made, and everybody gone home. [5049]Lucian's Lycia was a proper young maid, and had many fine gentlemen to her suitors; Ethecles, a senator's son, Melissus, a merchant, &c.; but she forsook them all for one Pa.s.sius, a base, hirsute, bald-pated knave; but why was it? "His father lately died and left him sole heir of his goods and lands." This is not amongst your dust-worms alone, poor snakes that will prost.i.tute their souls for money, but with this bait you may catch our most potent, puissant, and ill.u.s.trious princes. That proud upstart domineering Bishop of Ely, in the time of Richard the First, viceroy in his absence, as [5050]Nubergensis relates it, to fortify himself, and maintain his greatness, _propinquarum suarum connubiis, plurimos sibi potentes et n.o.biles devincire curavit_, married his poor kinswomen (which came forth of Normandy by droves) to the chiefest n.o.bles of the land, and they were glad to accept of such matches, fair or foul, for themselves, their sons, nephews, &c. _Et quis tam praeclaram aflinitatem sub spe magnae promotionis non optaret_? Who would not have done as much for money and preferment? as mine author [5051]adds. Vortiger, King of Britain, married Rowena the daughter of Hengist the Saxon prince, his mortal enemy; but wherefore? she had Kent for her dowry. Iagello the great Duke of Lithuania, 1386, was mightily enamoured on Hedenga, insomuch that he turned Christian from a Pagan, and was baptised himself by the name of Uladislaus, and all his subjects for her sake: but why was it? she was daughter and heir of Poland, and his desire was to have both kingdoms incorporated into one. Charles the Great was an earnest suitor to Irene the Empress, but, saith [5052]Zonarus, _ob regnum_, to annex the empire of the East to that of the West. Yet what is the event of all such matches, that are so made for money, goods, by deceit, or for burning l.u.s.t, _quos foeda libido conjunxit_, what follows? they are almost mad at first, but 'tis a mere flash; as chaff and straw soon fired, burn vehemently for a while, yet out in a moment; so are all such matches made by those allurements of burning l.u.s.t; where there is no respect of honesty, parentage, virtue, religion, education, and the like, they are extinguished in an instant, and instead of love comes hate; for joy, repentance and desperation itself.

Franciscus Barbarus in his first book _de re uxoria, c. 5_, hath a story of one Philip of Padua that fell in love with a common wh.o.r.e, and was now ready to run mad for her; his father having no more sons let him enjoy her; [5053]"but after a few days, the young man began to loath, could not so much as endure the sight of her, and from one madness fell into another."

Such event commonly have all these lovers; and he that so marries, or for such respects, let them look for no better success than Menelaus had with Helen, Vulcan with Venus, Theseus with Phaedra, Minos with Pasiphae, and Claudius with Messalina; shame, sorrow, misery, melancholy, discontent.

SUBSECT. IV.--_Importunity and Opportunity of Time, Place, Conference, Discourse, Singing, Dancing, Music, Amorous Tales, Objects, Kissing, Familiarity, Tokens, Presents, Bribes, Promises, Protestations, Tears, &c._

All these allurements. .h.i.therto are afar off, and at a distance; I will come nearer to those other degrees of love, which are conference, kissing, dalliance, discourse, singing, dancing, amorous tales, objects, presents, &c., which as so many sirens steal away the hearts of men and women. For, as Tacitus observes, _l. 2_, [5054]"It is no sufficient trial of a maid's affection by her eyes alone, but you must say something that shall be more available, and use such other forcible engines; therefore take her by the hand, wring her fingers hard, and sigh withal; if she accept this in good part, and seem not to be much averse, then call her mistress, take her about the neck and kiss her," &c. But this cannot be done except they first get opportunity of living, or coming together, ingress, egress, and regress; letters and commendations may do much, outward gestures and actions: but when they come to live near one another, in the same street, village, or together in a house, love is kindled on a sudden. Many a serving-man by reason of this opportunity and importunity inveigles his master's daughter, many a gallant loves a dowdy, many a gentleman runs upon his wife's maids; many ladies dote upon their men, as the queen in Ariosto did upon the dwarf, many matches are so made in haste, and they are compelled as it were by [5055]necessity so to love, which had they been free, come in company of others, seen that variety which many places afford, or compared them to a third, would never have looked one upon another. Or had not that opportunity of discourse and familiarity been offered, they would have loathed and contemned those whom, for want of better choice and other objects, they are fatally driven on, and by reason of their hot blood, idle life, full diet, &c., are forced to dote upon them that come next. And many times those which at the first sight cannot fancy or affect each other, but are harsh and ready to disagree, offended with each other's carriage, like Benedict and Beatrice in the [5056]comedy, and in whom they find many faults, by this living together in a house, conference, kissing, colling, and such like allurements, begin at last to dote insensibly one upon another.

It was the greatest motive that Potiphar's wife had to dote upon Joseph, and [5057]c.l.i.tiphon upon Leucippe his uncle's daughter, because the plague being at Bizance, it was his fortune for a time to sojourn with her, to sit next her at the table, as he tells the tale himself in Tatius, _lib. 2._ (which, though it be but a fiction, is grounded upon good observation, and doth well express the pa.s.sions of lovers), he had opportunity to take her by the hand, and after a while to kiss, and handle her paps, &c., [5058]

which made him almost mad. Ismenias the orator makes the like confession in Eustathius, _lib. 1_, when he came first to Sosthene's house, and sat at table with Cratistes his friend, Ismene, Sosthene's daughter, waiting on them "with her b.r.e.a.s.t.s open, arms half bare," [5059]_Nuda pedem, discincta sinum, spoliata lacertos_; after the Greek fas.h.i.+on in those times,--[5060]

_nudos media plus parte lacertos_, as Daphne was when she fled from Phoebus (which moved him much), was ever ready to give attendance on him, to fill him drink, her eyes were never off him, _rogabundi oculi_, those speaking eyes, courting eyes, enchanting eyes; but she was still smiling on him, and when they were risen, that she had got a little opportunity, [5061]"she came and drank to him, and withal trod upon his toes, and would come and go, and when she could not speak for the company, she would wring his hand," and blush when she met him: and by this means first she overcame him (_bibens amorem hauriebam simul_), she would kiss the cup and drink to him, and smile, "and drink where he drank on that side of the cup," by which mutual compressions, kissings, wringing of hands, treading of feet, &c.

_Ipsam mihi videbar sorbillare virginem_, I sipped and sipped so long, till at length I was drunk in love upon a sudden. Philocharinus, in [5062]

Aristaenetus, met a fair maid by chance, a mere stranger to him, he looked back at her, she looked back at him again, and smiled withal.

[5063] "Ille dies lethi primus, primusque malorum Causa fuit."------

It was the sole cause of his farther acquaintance, and love that undid him.

[5064]_O nullis tutum credere blanditiis_.

This opportunity of time and place, with their circ.u.mstances, are so forcible motives, that it is impossible almost for two young folks equal in years to live together, and not be in love, especially in great houses, princes' courts, where they are idle _in summo gradu_, fare well, live at ease, and cannot tell otherwise how to spend their time. [5065]_Illic Hippolitum pone, Priapus erit_. Achilles was sent by his mother Thetis to the island of Scyros in the Aegean sea (where Lycomedes then reigned) in his nonage to be brought up; to avoid that hard destiny of the oracle (he should be slain at the siege of Troy): and for that cause was nurtured in Genesco, amongst the king's children in a woman's habit; but see the event: he compressed Deidamia, the king's fair daughter, and had a fine son, called Pyrrhus by her. Peter Abelard the philosopher, as he tells the tale himself, being set by Fulbertus her uncle to teach Heloise his lovely niece, and to that purpose sojourned in his house, and had committed _agnam tenellam famelico lupo_, I use his own words, he soon got her good will, _plura erant oscula quam sententiae_ and he read more of love than any other lecture; such pretty feats can opportunity plea; _primum domo conjuncti, inde animis_, &c. But when as I say, _nox, vinum, et adolescentia_, youth, wine, and night, shall concur, _nox amoris et quietis conscia_, 'tis a wonder they be not all plunged over head and ears in love; for youth is _benigna in amorem, et p.r.o.na materies_, a very combustible matter, naphtha itself, the fuel of love's fire, and most apt to kindle it.

If there be seven servants in an ordinary house, you shall have three couple in some good liking at least, and amongst idle persons how should it be otherwise? "Living at [5066]Rome," saith Aretine's Lucretia, "in the flower of my fortunes, rich, fair, young, and so well brought up, my conversation, age, beauty, fortune, made all the world admire and love me."

Night alone, that one occasion, is enough to set all on fire, and they are so cunning in great houses, that they make their best advantage of it: Many a gentlewoman, that is guilty to herself of her imperfections, paintings, impostures, will not willingly be seen by day, but as [5067]Castilio noteth, in the night, _Diem ut glis odit, taedarum lucem super omnia mavult_, she hateth the day like a dormouse, and above all things loves torches and candlelight, and if she must come abroad in the day, she covets, as [5068]in a mercer's shop, a very obfuscate and obscure sight.

And good reason she hath for it: _Nocte latent mendae_, and many an amorous gull is fetched over by that means. Gomesius _lib. 3. de sale gen. c. 22._ gives instance in a Florentine gentleman, that was so deceived with a wife, she was so radiantly set out with rings and jewels, lawns, scarves, laces, gold, spangles, and gaudy devices, that the young man took her to be a G.o.ddess (for he never saw her but by torchlight); but after the wedding solemnities, when as he viewed her the next morning without her tires, and in a clear day, she was so deformed, a lean, yellow, shrivelled, &c., such a beastly creature in his eyes, that he could not endure to look upon her.

Such matches are frequently made in Italy, where they have no other opportunity to woo but when they go to church, or, as [5069]in Turkey, see them at a distance, they must interchange few or no words, till such time they come to be married, and then as Sardus _lib. 1. cap. 3. de morb.

gent._ and [5070]Bohemus relate of those old Lacedaemonians, "the bride is brought into the chamber, with her hair girt about her, the bridegroom comes in and unties the knot, and must not see her at all by daylight, till such time as he is made a father by her." In those hotter countries these are ordinary practices at this day; but in our northern parts, amongst Germans, Danes, French, and Britons, the continent of Scandia and the rest, we a.s.sume more liberty in such cases; we allow them, as Bohemus saith, to kiss coming and going, _et modo absit lascivia, in cauponem ducere_, to talk merrily, sport, play, sing, and dance so that it be modestly done, go to the alehouse and tavern together. And 'tis not amiss, though [5071]

Chrysostom, Cyprian, Hierome, and some other of the fathers speak bitterly against it: but that is the abuse which is commonly seen at some drunken matches, dissolute meetings, or great unruly feasts. [5072]"A young, pickedevanted, trim-bearded fellow," saith Hierome, "will come with a company of compliments, and hold you up by the arm as you go, and wringing your fingers, will so be enticed, or entice: one drinks to you, another embraceth, a third kisseth, and all this while the fiddler plays or sings a lascivious song; a fourth singles you out to dance, [5073]one speaks by beck and signs, and that which he dares not say, signifies by pa.s.sions; amongst so many and so great provocations of pleasure, l.u.s.t conquers the most hard and crabbed minds, and scarce can a man live honest amongst feastings, and sports, or at such great meetings." For as he goes on, [5074]"she walks along and with the ruffling of her clothes, makes men look at her, her shoes creak, her paps tied up, her waist pulled in to make her look small, she is straight girded, her hairs hang loose about her ears, her upper garment sometimes falls, and sometimes tarries to show her naked shoulders, and as if she would not be seen, she covers that in all haste, which voluntarily she showed." And not at feasts, plays, pageants, and such a.s.semblies, [5075]but as Chrysostom objects, these tricks are put in practice "at service time in churches, and at the communion itself." If such dumb shows, signs, and more obscure significations of love can so move, what shall they do that have full liberty to sing, dance, kiss, coll, to use all manner of discourse and dalliance! What shall he do that is beleaguered of all sides?

[5076] "Quem tot, tam roseae petunt puellae, Quem cultae cupiunt nurus, amorque Omnis undique et undecunque et usque, Omnis ambit Amor, Venusque Hymenque."

"After whom so many rosy maids inquire, Whom dainty dames and loving wights desire, In every place, still, and at all times sue, Whom G.o.ds and gentle G.o.ddesses do woo."

How shall he contain? The very tone of some of their voices, a pretty pleasing speech, an affected tone they use, is able of itself to captivate a young man; but when a good wit shall concur, art and eloquence, fascinating speech, pleasant discourse, sweet gestures, the Sirens themselves cannot so enchant. [5077]P. Jovius commends his Italian countrywomen, to have an excellent faculty in this kind, above all other nations, and amongst them the Florentine ladies: some prefer Roman and Venetian courtesans, they have such pleasing tongues, and such [5078]

elegancy of speech, that they are able to overcome a saint, _Pro facie multis vox sua lena fuit. Tanta gratia vocis famam conciliabat_, saith Petronius [5079]in his fragment of pure impurities, I mean his _Satyricon, tam dulcis sonus permulcebat aera, ut putares inter auras cantare Syrenum concordiam_; she sang so sweetly that she charmed the air, and thou wouldst have thought thou hadst heard a concert of Sirens. "O good G.o.d, when Lais speaks, how sweet it is!" Philocolus exclaims in Aristenaetus, to hear a fair young gentlewoman play upon the virginals, lute, viol, and sing to it, which as Gellius observes, _lib. 1. cap. 11._ are _lascivientium delicicae_, the chief delight of lovers, must needs be a great enticement.

Parthenis was so taken. [5080]_Mi vox ista avida haurit ab aure animam_: O sister Harpedona (she laments) I am undone, [5081]"how sweetly he sings, I'll speak a bold word, he is the properest man that ever I saw in my life: O how sweetly he sings, I die for his sake, O that he would love me again!"

If thou didst but hear her sing, saith [5082]Lucian, "thou wouldst forget father and mother, forsake all thy friends, and follow her." Helena is highly commended by [5083]Theocritus the poet for her sweet voice and music; none could play so well as she, and Daphnis in the same Edyllion,

"Quam tibi os dulce est, et vox amabilis o Daphni, Jucundius est audire te canentem, quam mel lingere!"

"How sweet a face hath Daphne, how lovely a voice!

Honey itself is not so pleasant in my choice."

A sweet voice and music are powerful enticers. Those Samian singing wenches, Aristonica, Onanthe and Agathocleia, _regiis diadematibus insultarunt_, insulted over kings themselves, as [5084]Plutarch contends.