The Anatomy of Melancholy Part 61

"'Tis not enough though she be fair of hue, For her to use this vulgar compliment: But pretty toys and jests, and saws and smiles, As far beyond what beauty can attempt."

[5135]For this cause belike Philostratus, in his images, makes diverse loves, "some young, some of one age, some of another, some winged, some of one s.e.x, some of another, some with torches, some with golden apples, some with darts, gins, snares, and other engines in their hands," as Propertius hath prettily painted them out, _lib. 2. et 29._ and which some interpret, diverse enticements, or diverse affections of lovers, which if not alone, yet jointly may batter and overcome the strongest const.i.tutions.

It is reported of Decius, and Valeria.n.u.s, those two notorious persecutors of the church, that when they could enforce a young Christian by no means (as [5136]Hierome records) to sacrifice to their idols, by no torments or promises, they took another course to tempt him: they put him into a fair garden, and set a young courtesan to dally with him, [5137]"took him about the neck and kissed him, and that which is not to be named," _manibusque attrectare_, &c., and all those enticements which might be used, that whom torments could not, love might batter and beleaguer. But such was his constancy, she could not overcome, and when this last engine would take no place, they left him to his own ways. At [5138]Berkley in Gloucesters.h.i.+re, there was in times past a nunnery (saith Gualterus Mapes, an old historiographer, that lived 400 years since), "of which there was a n.o.ble and a fair lady abbess: G.o.dwin, that subtile Earl of Kent, travelling that way, (seeking not her but hers) leaves a nephew of his, a proper young gallant (as if he had been sick) with her, till he came back again, and gives the young man charge so long to counterfeit, till he had deflowered the abbess, and as many besides of the nuns as he could, and leaves him withal rings, jewels, girdles, and such toys to give them still, when they came to visit him. The young man, willing to undergo such a business, played his part so well, that in short s.p.a.ce he got up most of their bellies, and when he had done, told his lord how he had sped: [5139]his lord made instantly to the court, tells the king how such a nunnery was become a bawdy-house, procures a visitation, gets them to be turned out, and begs the lands to his own use." This story I do therefore repeat, that you may see of what force these enticements are, if they be opportunely used, and how hard it is even for the most averse and sanctified souls to resist such allurements. John Major in the life of John the monk, that lived in the days of Theodosius, commends the hermit to have been a man of singular continency, and of a most austere life; but one night by chance the devil came to his cell in the habit of a young market wench that had lost her way, and desired for G.o.d's sake some lodging with him. [5140]"The old man let her in, and after some common conference of her mishap, she began to inveigle him with lascivious talk and jests, to play with his beard, to kiss him, and do worse, till at last she overcame him. As he went to address himself to that business, she vanished on a sudden, and the devils in the air laughed him to scorn." Whether this be a true story, or a tale, I will not much contend, it serves to ill.u.s.trate this which I have said.

Yet were it so, that these of which I have hitherto spoken, and such like enticing baits, be not sufficient, there be many others, which will of themselves intend this pa.s.sion of burning l.u.s.t, amongst which, dancing is none of the least; and it is an engine of such force, I may not omit it.

_Incitamentum libidinis_, Petrarch calls it, the spur of l.u.s.t. "A [5141]

circle of which the devil himself is the centre. [5142]Many women that use it, have come dishonest home, most indifferent, none better." [5143]

Another terms it "the companion of all filthy delights and enticements, and 'tis not easily told what inconveniences come by it, what scurrile talk, obscene actions," and many times such monstrous gestures, such lascivious motions, such wanton tunes, meretricious kisses, homely embracings.

[5144] ------"(ut Gaditana canoro Incipiat prurire choro, plausuque probatae Ad terram tremula descendant clune puellae, Irritamentum Veneris languentis)"------

that it will make the spectators mad. When that epitomiser of [5145]Trogus had to the full described and set out King Ptolemy's riot as a chief engine and instrument of his overthrow, he adds, _tympanum et tripudium_, fiddling and dancing: "the king was not a spectator only, but a princ.i.p.al actor himself." A thing nevertheless frequently used, and part of a gentlewoman's bringing up, to sing, dance, and play on the lute, or some such instrument, before she can say her paternoster, or ten commandments. 'Tis the next way their parents think to get them husbands, they are compelled to learn, and by that means, [5146]_Incoestos amores de tenero meditantur ungue_; 'tis a great allurement as it is often used, and many are undone by it. Thais, in Lucian, inveigled Lamprias in a dance, Herodias so far pleased Herod, that she made him swear to give her what she would ask, John Baptist's head in a platter. [5147]Robert, Duke of Normandy, riding by Falais, spied Arlette, a fair maid, as she danced on a green, and was so much enamoured with the object, that [5148]she must needs lie with her that night. Owen Tudor won Queen Catherine's affection in. a dance, falling by chance with his head in her lap. Who cannot parallel these stories out of his experience?

Speusippas a n.o.ble gallant in [5149]that Greek Aristenaetus, seeing Panareta a fair young gentlewoman dancing by accident, was so far in love with her, that for a long time after he could think of nothing but Panareta: he came raving home full of Panareta: "Who would not admire her, who would not love her, that should but see her dance as I did? O admirable, O divine Panareta! I have seen old and new Rome, many fair cities, many proper women, but never any like to Panareta, they are dross, dowdies all to Panareta! O how she danced, how she tripped, how she turned, with what a grace! happy is that man that shall enjoy her. O most incomparable, only, Panareta!" When Xenophon, in _Symposio_, or Banquet, had discoursed of love, and used all the engines that might be devised, to move Socrates, amongst the rest, to stir him the more, he shuts up all with a pleasant interlude or dance of Dionysius and Ariadne. [5150]"First Ariadne dressed like a bride came in and took her place; by and by Dionysius entered, dancing to the music. The spectators did all admire the young man's carriage; and Ariadne herself was so much affected with the sight, that she could scarce sit. After a while Dionysius beholding Ariadne, and incensed with love, bowing to her knees, embraced her first, and kissed her with a grace; she embraced him again, and kissed him with like affection, &c., as the dance required; but they that stood by, and saw this, did much applaud and commend them both for it. And when Dionysius rose up, he raised her up with him, and many pretty gestures, embraces, kisses, and love compliments pa.s.sed between them: which when they saw fair Bacchus and beautiful Ariadne so sweetly and so unfeignedly kissing each other, so really embracing, they swore they loved indeed, and were so inflamed with the object, that they began to rouse up themselves, as if they would have flown. At the last when they saw them still, so willingly embracing, and now ready to go to the bride-chamber, they were so ravished, with it, that they that were unmarried, swore they would forthwith marry, and those that were married called instantly for their horses, and galloped home to their wives." What greater motive can there be than this burning l.u.s.t? what so violent an oppugner? Not without good cause therefore so many general councils condemn it, so many fathers abhor it, so many grave men speak against it; "Use not the company of a woman," saith Siracides, 8. 4.

"that is a singer, or a dancer; neither hear, lest thou be taken in her craftiness." _In circo non tam cernitur quam discitur libido_. [5151]Haedus holds, l.u.s.t in theatres is not seen, but learned. Gregory n.a.z.ianzen that eloquent divine, ([5152]as he relates the story himself,) when a n.o.ble friend of his solemnly invited him with other bishops, to his daughter Olympia's wedding, refused to come: [5153]"For it is absurd to see an old gouty bishop sit amongst dancers;" he held it unfit to be a spectator, much less an actor. _Nemo saltat sobrius_, Tully writes, he is not a sober man that danceth; for some such reason (belike) Domitian forbade the Roman senators to dance, and for that fact removed many of them from the senate.

But these, you will say, are lascivious and Pagan dances, 'tis the abuse that causeth such inconvenience, and I do not well therefore to condemn, speak against, or "innocently to accuse the best and pleasantest thing (so [5154]Lucian calls it) that belongs to mortal men." You misinterpret, I condemn it not; I hold it notwithstanding an honest disport, a lawful recreation, if it be opportune, moderately and soberly used: I am of Plutarch's mind, [5155]"that which respects pleasure alone, honest recreation, or bodily exercise, ought not to be rejected and contemned:" I subscribe to [5156]Lucian, "'tis an elegant thing, which cheereth up the mind, exerciseth the body, delights the spectators, which teacheth many comely gestures, equally affecting the ears, eyes, and soul itself."

Sall.u.s.t discommends singing and dancing in Semp.r.o.nia, not that she did sing or dance, but that she did it in excess, 'tis the abuse of it; and Gregory's refusal doth not simply condemn it, but in some folks. Many will not allow men and women to dance together, because it is a provocation to l.u.s.t: they may as well, with Lycurgus and Mahomet, cut down all vines, forbid the drinking of wine, for that it makes some men drunk.

[5157] "Nihil prodest quod non laedere posset idem; Igne quid utilius?"------

I say of this as of all other honest recreations, they are like fire, good and bad, and I see no such inconvenience, but that they may so dance, if it be done at due times, and by fit persons: and conclude with Wolfungus [5158]Hider, and most of our modern divines: _Si decorae, graves, verecundae, plena luce bonorum virorum et matronarum honestarum, tempestive fiant, probari possunt, et debent_. "There is a time to mourn, a time to dance," Eccles. iii. 4. Let them take their pleasures then, and as [5159]

he said of old, "young men and maids flouris.h.i.+ng in their age, fair and lovely to behold, well attired, and of comely carriage, dancing a Greek galliard, and as their dance required, kept their time, now turning, now tracing, now apart now altogether, now a courtesy then a caper," &c., and it was a pleasant sight to see those pretty knots, and swimming figures.

The sun and moon (some say) dance about the earth, the three upper planets about the sun as their centre, now stationary, now direct, now retrograde, now in apogee, then in perigee, now swift then slow, occidental, oriental, they turn round, jump and trace, [Symbol: Mars] and [Symbol: Mercury] about the sun with those thirty-three Maculae or Bourbonian planet, _circa Solem saltantes Cytharedum_, saith Fromundus. Four Medicean stars dance about Jupiter, two Austrian about Saturn, &c., and all (belike) to the music of the spheres. Our greatest counsellors, and staid senators, at some times dance, as David before the ark, 2 Sam. vi. 14. Miriam, Exod. xv. 20.

Judith, xv. 13. (though the devil hence perhaps hath brought in those bawdy baccha.n.a.ls), and well may they do it. The greatest soldiers, as [5160]

Quintilia.n.u.s, [5161]Aemilius Probus, [5162]Coelius Rhodiginus, have proved at large, still use it in Greece, Rome, and the most worthy senators, _cantare, saltare_. Lucian, Macrobius, Liba.n.u.s, Plutarch, Julius, Pollux, Athenaeus, have written just tracts in commendation of it. In this our age it is in much request in those countries, as in all civil commonwealths, as Alexander ab Alexandro, _lib. 4. cap. 10. et lib. 2. cap. 25._ hath proved at large, [5163]amongst the barbarians themselves none so precious; all the world allows it.

[5164] "Divitias contemno tuas, rex Craese, tuamque Vendo Asiam, unguentis, flore, mero, ch.o.r.eis."

[5165]Plato, in his Commonwealth, will have dancing-schools to be maintained, "that young folks might meet, be acquainted, see one another, and be seen;" nay more, he would have them dance naked; and scoffs at them that laugh at it. But Eusebius _praepar. Evangel. lib. 1. cap. 11._ and Theodoret _lib. 9. curat. graec. affect_. worthily lash him for it; and well they might: for as one saith, [5166]"the very sight of naked parts causeth enormous, exceeding concupiscences, and stirs up both men and women to burning l.u.s.t." There is a mean in all things: this is my censure in brief; dancing is a pleasant recreation of body and mind, if sober and modest (such as our Christian dances are); if tempestively used, a furious motive to burning l.u.s.t; if as by Pagans heretofore, unchastely abused. But I proceed.

If these allurements do not take place, for [5167]Simierus, that great master of dalliance, shall not behave himself better, the more effectually to move others, and satisfy their l.u.s.t, they will swear and lie, promise, protest, forge, counterfeit, brag, bribe, flatter and dissemble of all sides. 'Twas Lucretia's counsel in Aretine, _Si vis amica frui, promitte, finge, jura, perjura, jacta, simula, mentire_; and they put it well in practice, as Apollo to Daphne,

[5168] ------"mihi Delphica tellus Et Claros et Tenedos, patareaque regia servit, Jupiter est genitor"------

"Delphos, Claros, and Tenedos serve me, And Jupiter is known my sire to be."

[5169]The poorest swains will do as much, [5170]_Mille pecus nivei sunt et mihi vallibus agni_; "I have a thousand sheep, good store of cattle, and they are all at her command,"

[5171] ------"Tibi nos, tibi nostra supellex, Ruraque servierint"------

"house, land, goods, are at her service," as he is himself. Dinomachus, a senator's son in [5172]Lucian, in love with a wench inferior to him in birth and fortunes, the sooner to accomplish his desire, wept unto her, and swore he loved her with all his heart, and her alone, and that as soon as ever his father died (a very rich man and almost decrepit) he would make her his wife. The maid by chance made her mother acquainted with the business, who being an old fox, well experienced in such matters, told her daughter, now ready to yield to his desire, that he meant nothing less, for dost thou think he will ever care for thee, being a poor wench, [5173]that may have his choice of all the beauties in the city, one n.o.ble by birth, with so many talents, as young, better qualified, and fairer than thyself?

daughter believe him not: the maid was abashed, and so the matter broke off. When Jupiter wooed Juno first (Lilius Giraldus relates it out of an old comment on Theocritus) the better to effect his suit, he turned himself into a cuckoo, and spying her one day walking alone, separated from the other G.o.ddesses, caused a tempest suddenly to arise, for fear of which she fled to shelter; Jupiter to avoid the storm likewise flew into her lap, _in virginis Junonis gremium devolavit_, whom Juno for pity covered in her [5174]ap.r.o.n. But he turned himself forthwith into his own shape, began to embrace and offer violence unto her, _sed illa matris metu abnuebat_, but she by no means would yield, _donec pollicitus connubium obtinuit_, till he vowed and swore to marry her, and then she gave consent. This fact was done at Thornax hill, which ever after was called Cuckoo hill, and in perpetual remembrance there was a temple erected to Telia Juno in the same place. So powerful are fair promises, vows, oaths and protestations. It is an ordinary thing too in this case to belie their age, which widows usually do, that mean to marry again, and bachelors too sometimes,

[5175] "Cujus octavum trepidavit aetas, cernere l.u.s.trum;"

to say they are younger than they are. Carmides in the said Lucian loved Philematium, an old maid of forty-five years; [5176]she swore to him she was but thirty-two next December. But to dissemble in this kind, is familiar of all sides, and often it takes. [5177]_Fallere credentem res est operosa puellam_, 'tis soon done, no such great mastery, _Egregiam vero laudem, et spolia ampla_,--and nothing so frequent as to belie their estates, to prefer their suits, and to advance themselves. Many men to fetch over a young woman, widows, or whom they love, will not stick to crack, forge and feign any thing comes next, bid his boy fetch his cloak, rapier, gloves, jewels, &c. in such a chest, scarlet-golden-tissue breeches, &c. when there is no such matter; or make any scruple to give out, as he did in Petronius, that he was master of a s.h.i.+p, kept so many servants, and to personate their part the better take upon them to be gentlemen of good houses, well descended and allied, hire apparel at brokers, some scavenger or p.r.i.c.k-louse tailors to attend upon them for the time, swear they have great possessions, [5178]bribe, lie, cog, and foist how dearly they love, how bravely they will maintain her, like any lady, countess, d.u.c.h.ess, or queen; they shall have gowns, tiers, jewels, coaches, and caroches, choice diet,

"The heads of parrots, tongues of nightingales, The brains of peac.o.c.ks, and of ostriches, Their bath shall be the juice of gilliflowers, Spirit of roses and of violets, The milk of unicorns," &c.

as old Volpone courted Celia in the [5179]comedy, when as they are no such men, not worth a groat, but mere sharkers, to make a fortune, to get their desire, or else pretend love to spend their idle hours, to be more welcome, and for better entertainment. The conclusion is, they mean nothing less,

[5180] "Nil metuunt jurare, nihil promittere curant: Sed simul accupidae mentis satiata libido est, Dicta nihil metuere, nihil perjuria curant;"

"Oaths, vows, promises, are much protested; But when their mind and l.u.s.t is satisfied, Oaths, vows, promises, are quite neglected;"

though he solemnly swear by the genius of Caesar, by Venus' shrine, Hymen's deity, by Jupiter, and all the other G.o.ds, give no credit to his words. For when lovers swear, Venus laughs, _Venus haec perjuria ridet_, [5181]Jupiter himself smiles, and pardons it withal, as grave [5182]Plato gives out; of all perjury, that alone for love matters is forgiven by the G.o.ds. If promises, lies, oaths, and protestations will not avail, they fall to bribes, tokens, gifts, and such like feats. [5183]_Plurimus auro conciliatur amor_: as Jupiter corrupted Danae with a golden shower, and Liber Ariadne with a lovely crown, (which was afterwards translated into the heavens, and there for ever s.h.i.+nes;) they will rain chickens, florins, crowns, angels, all manner of coins and stamps in her lap. And so must he certainly do that will speed, make many feasts, banquets, invitations, send her some present or other every foot. _Summo studio parentur epulae_ (saith [5184]Haedus) _et crebrae fiant largitiones_, he must be very bountiful and liberal, seek and sue, not to her only, but to all her followers, friends, familiars, fiddlers, panders, parasites, and household servants; he must insinuate himself, and surely will, to all, of all sorts, messengers, porters, carriers; no man must be unrewarded, or unrespected. I had a suitor (saith [5185]Aretine's Lucretia) that when he came to my house, flung gold and silver about, as if it had been chaff. Another suitor I had was a very choleric fellow; but I so handled him, that for all his fuming, I brought him upon his knees. If there had been an excellent bit in the market, any novelty, fish, fruit, or fowl, muscatel, or malmsey, or a cup of neat wine in all the city, it was presented presently to me; though never so dear, hard to come by, yet I had it: the poor fellow was so fond at last, that I think if I would I might have had one of his eyes out of his head. A third suitor was a merchant of Rome, and his manner of wooing was with [5186]exquisite music, costly banquets, poems, &c. I held him off till at length he protested, promised, and swore _pro virginitate regno me donaturum_, I should have all he had, house, goods, and lauds, _pro concubitu solo_; [5187]neither was there ever any conjuror, I think, to charm his spirits that used such attention, or mighty words, as he did exquisite phrases, or general of any army so many stratagems to win a city, as he did tricks and devices to get the love of me. Thus men are active and pa.s.sive, and women not far behind them in this kind: _Audax ad omnia foemina, quae vel amat, vel odit_.

[5188] _For half so boldly there can non Swear and lye as women can_.

[5189]They will crack, counterfeit, and collogue as well as the best, with handkerchiefs, and wrought nightcaps, purses, posies, and such toys: as he justly complained,

[5190] "Cur mittis violas? nempe ut violentius uret; Quid violas violis me violenta tuis?" &c.

"Why dost thou send me violets, my dear?

To make me burn more violent, I fear, With violets too violent thou art, To violate and wound my gentle heart."

When nothing else will serve, the last refuge is their tears. _Haec scripsi (testor amorem) mixta lachrymis et suspiriis_, 'twixt tears and sighs, I write this (I take love to witness), saith [5191]Chelidonia to Philonius.

_Lumina quae modo fulmina, jam flumina lachrymarum_, those burning torches are now turned to floods of tears. Aretine's Lucretia, when her sweetheart came to town, [5192]wept in his bosom, "that he might be persuaded those tears were shed for joy of his return." Quartilla in Petronius, when nought would move, fell a weeping, and as Balthazar Castilio paints them out, [5193]"To these crocodile's tears they will add sobs, fiery sighs, and sorrowful countenance, pale colour, leanness, and if you do but stir abroad, these fiends are ready to meet you at every turn, with such a s.l.u.ttish neglected habit, dejected look, as if they were now ready to die for your sake; and how, saith he, shall a young novice thus beset, escape?"

But believe them not.

[5194] ------"animam ne crede puellis, Namque est foeminea tutior unda fide."

Thou thinkest, peradventure, because of her vows, tears, smiles, and protestations, she is solely thine, thou hast her heart, hand, and affection, when as indeed there is no such matter, as the [5195]Spanish bawd said, _gaudet illa habere unum in lecto, alterum in porta, tertium qui domi suspiret_, she will have one sweetheart in bed, another in the gate, a third sighing at home, a fourth, &c. Every young man she sees and likes hath as much interest, and shall as soon enjoy her as thyself. On the other side, which I have said, men are as false, let them swear, protest, and lie; [5196]_Quod vobis dic.u.n.t, dixerunt mille puellis_. They love some of them those eleven thousand virgins at once, and make them believe, each particular, he is besotted on her, or love one till they see another, and then her alone; like Milo's wife in Apuleius, _lib. 2._ _Si quem conspexerit speciosae formae invenem, venustate ejus sumitur, et in eum animum intorquet_. 'Tis their common compliment in that case, they care not what they swear, say or do: One while they slight them, care not for them, rail downright and scoff at them, and then again they will run mad, hang themselves, stab and kill, if they may not enjoy them. Henceforth, therefore,--_nulla viro juranti foemina credat_, let not maids believe them. These tricks and counterfeit pa.s.sions are more familiar with women, [5197]_finem hic dolori faciet aut vitae dies, miserere amantis_, quoth Phaedra to Hippolitus. Joessa, in [5198]Lucian, told Pythias, a young man, to move him the more, that if he would not have her, she was resolved to make away herself. "There is a Nemesis, and it cannot choose but grieve and trouble thee, to hear that I have either strangled or drowned myself for thy sake." Nothing so common to this s.e.x as oaths, vows, and protestations, and as I have already said, tears, which they have at command; for they can so weep, that one would think their very hearts were dissolved within them, and would come out in tears; their eyes are like rocks, which still drop water, _diariae lachrymae et sudoris in modum lurgeri promptae_, saith [5199] Aristaenetus, they wipe away their tears like sweat, weep with one eye, laugh with the other; or as children [5200]weep and cry, they can both together.

[5201] "Neve puellarum lachrymis moveare memento, Ut flerent oculos erudiere suos."

"Care not for women's tears, I counsel thee, They teach their eyes as much to weep as see."

And as much pity is to be taken of a woman weeping, as of a goose going barefoot. When Venus lost her son Cupid, she sent a crier about, to bid every one that met him take heed.

[5202] "Si fleatam aspicias, ne mox fallare, caveto; Sin arridebit, magis effuge; et oscula si fors Ferre volet, fugito; sunt oscula noxia, in ipsis Suntque venena labris" &c.

"Take heed of Cupid's tears, if cautious.

And of his smiles and kisses I thee tell, If that he offer't, for they be noxious, And very poison in his lips doth dwell."

[5203]A thousand years, as Castilio conceives, "will scarce serve to reckon up those allurements and guiles, that men and women use to deceive one another with."

SUBSECT. V.--_Bawds, Philters, Causes_.

When all other engines fail, that they can proceed no farther of themselves, their last refuge is to fly to bawds, panders, magical philters, and receipts; rather than fail, to the devil himself. _Flectere si nequeunt superos, Acheronta movebunt_. And by those indirect means many a man is overcome, and precipitated into this malady, if he take not good heed. For these bawds, first, they are everywhere so common, and so many, that, as he said of old [5204]Croton, _omnes hic aut captantur, aut captant_, either inveigle or be inveigled, we may say of most of our cities, there be so many professed, cunning bawds in them. Besides, bawdry is become an art, or a liberal science, as Lucian calls it; and there be such tricks and subtleties, so many nurses, old women, panders, letter carriers, beggars, physicians, friars, confessors, employed about it, that _nullus tradere stilus sufficiat_, one saith,

[5205] ------"trecentis versibus Suas impuritias traloqui nemo potest."

Such occult notes, stenography, polygraphy, _Nuntius animatus_, or magnetical telling of their minds, which [5206]Cabeus the Jesuit, by the way, counts fabulous and false; cunning conveyances in this kind, that neither Juno's jealousy, nor Danae's custody, nor Argo's vigilancy can keep them safe. 'Tis the last and common refuge to use an a.s.sistant, such as that Catanean Philippa was to Joan Queen of Naples, a [5207]bawd's help, an old woman in the business, as [5208]Myrrha did when she doted on Cyniras, and could not compa.s.s her desire, the old jade her nurse was ready at a pinch, _dic inquit, opemque me sine ferre tibi--et in hac mea (pone timorem) Sedulitas erit apta libi_, fear it not, if it be possible to be done, I will effect it: _non est mulieri mulier insuperabilis_, [5209]Caelestina said, let him or her be never so honest, watched and reserved, 'tis hard but one of these old women will get access: and scarce shall you find, as [5210]Austin observes, in a nunnery a maid alone, "if she cannot have egress, before her window you shall have an old woman, or some prating gossip, tell her some tales of this clerk, and that monk, describing or commending some young gentleman or other unto her." "As I was walking in the street" (saith a good fellow in Petronius) "to see the town served one evening, [5211]I spied an old woman in a corner selling of cabbages and roots" (as our hucksters do plums, apples, and such like fruits); "mother" (quoth he) "can you tell where I can dwell? she, being well pleased with my foolish urbanity, replied, and why, sir, should I not tell? With that she rose up and went before me. I took her for a wise woman, and by-and-by she led me into a by-lane, and told me there I should dwell. I replied again, I knew not the house; but I perceived, on a sudden, by the naked queans, that I was now come into a bawdy-house, and then too late I began to curse the treachery of this old jade." Such tricks you shall have in many places, and amongst the rest it is ordinary in Venice, and in the island of Zante, for a man to be bawd to his own wife. No sooner shall you land or come on sh.o.r.e, but, as the Comical Poet hath it,

[5212] "Morem hunc meretrices habent, Ad portum mittunt servulos, ancillulas, Si qua peregrina navis in portum aderit, Rogant cujatis sit, quod ei nomen siet, Post illae extemplo sese adplicent."

These white devils have their panders, bawds, and factors in every place to seek about, and bring in customers, to tempt and waylay novices, and silly travellers. And when they have them once within their clutches, as Aegidius Mascrius in his comment upon Valerius Flaccus describes them, [5213]"with promises and pleasant discourse, with gifts, tokens, and taking their opportunities, they lay nets which Lucretia cannot avoid, and baits that Hippolitus himself would swallow; they make such strong a.s.saults and batteries, that the G.o.ddess of virginity cannot withstand them: give gifts and bribes to move Penelope, and with threats able to terrify Susanna. How many Proserpinas, with those catchpoles, doth Pluto take? These are the sleepy rods with which their souls touched descend to h.e.l.l; this the glue or lime with which the wings of the mind once taken cannot fly away; the devil's ministers to allure, entice," &c. Many young men and maids, without all question, are inveigled by these Eumenides and their a.s.sociates. But these are trivial and well known. The most sly, dangerous, and cunning bawds, are your knavish physicians, empirics, ma.s.s-priests, monks, [5214]