Meridian. Part 24

"Auntie would do it for me."

"Probably." Tens nodded in agreement. "She's also got a h.e.l.l of a lot more experience.

You're a beginner. What if we wait? What if we get Auntie through and then work on Charles?"

"And if she doesn't go? If I die helping her?"

138a "You won't."

ni *"I could." I didn't want to contemplate that reality, but I found myself stuck on it Tens invaded my s.p.a.ce. "You won't!"

I nodded, wis.h.i.+ng some of his certainty would seep into me. We sat in silence for a moment and I caught another whiff of roses and pipe smoke. I knew I was right. "You said if I trust my instincts I'm usually right. Right?"

Tens's expression darkened. "Throwing my own words back at me?"

I gripped his hand. "I have to. Don't you see? Auntie needs him in heaven, waiting. He wants to go. Tens, I'm telling you I can do this. I have to do this."

He grasped my chin and gazed into my eyes. His were full of an emotion I couldn't begin to fathom. "I'm right here. Okay?"

I nodded, comforted by his strength.

"What now?"

"Now I call out Charles."

The details were vague. It wasn't like following step-by-step recipe instructions. I gathered their wedding portrait, photographs of Charles through the years, and his pipe. I shut Custos out of the study because I was afraid Charles's energy might accidentally hurt her if she was too close.

"What do you want me to do?" Tens had built a roaring fire that crackled and spit in the hearth.

"Slap me if I faint?" Or worse. As always, my joke fell flat.

"How do you call him out?"

"I don't know. What's it suggest in the book?"

Tens smiled. "Come out, come out, wherever you are?"

"Nice."

"It doesn't suggest anything. I think you're on your own." He shrugged.

"Okay. Charles. Auntie needs you. I'm here. Let's get this show on the road." I repeated myself, over and over. My eyes tightly shut. I pictured my window. I tried to imagine what Charles looked like in real life. My breathing leveled and I let myself go deeper.

"Over here, little one." Charles was standing behind me.

"That's what Auntie calls me."

139ani *"Whom do you think she picked it up from?" Charles lit his pipe. "Took you long enough. I thought I was going to have to flick the lights or bang the doors."

"I figured it out, didn't I?"

"Just in the nick of time too."

"Are you ready?" I watched a room exactly like this one unfold behind my eyelids.

"Did she tell you her daddy built this house? That she grew up here? I added on over the years, fixed it up."

"No."

He sounded wistful. "She's going to hate what's coming."

"What's coming?" I asked, but he didn't hear me.

"You tell her I'll be waiting. Tell her to come to me and not glance back."' Charles stepped through and I realized he was tugging on my arm.

"Let go."

He didn't hear me. Our fingers were entwined. My hand pa.s.sed the windowsill. My wrist.

My elbow. My feet dug in, trying to find purchase while I slid farther into the opening.

I felt panic s.h.i.+ver up my spine. My mouth went dry. "Let go. Charles, let go of me! You have to let go."

"Things are not what they appear." Charles spoke to me while he continued to wrestle me through. "It's safe here. Come with me. Wait for Merry with me, here." His face bore an intense expression that scared me, as if he didn't even know what he was saying.

I tried to yell. I braced a foot against the wall and prayed. I twisted and turned, yanking and heaving. "Let go! I can't. She needs me here. Charles, you won't have her with you if you don't let me go."

"You're not safe. They're coming. They'll find you. Come with me." He grimaced, struggling to hang on to me.

Sweat slickened my arms and hands. I inhaled a deep breath and willed our hands apart. In the distance I heard my name. Tens sounded upset. Scared.

Charles seemed to snap back into himself, struggling to untangle from me as well. His expression once again grew calm and caring.

"Tell her one-four-three. Tell her I love her, that I'm waiting."

"Meridian!" Tens shouted again. I drew on his strength. I felt him push Charles away and 140 haul me in the opposite direction.

a ni *I screamed and snapped the window down with a bang. I opened my eyes, feeling Tens's hands brus.h.i.+ng my hair from my face. Sweat drenched my body and I was breathing as if I'd sprinted a hundred yards.

"You're okay. I've got you." Tens cradled me and pressed kisses along my forehead and jaw.

I clung to him. Burrowing closer, letting his heat warm me and chase away my lingering fear.

"I've got you. You're safe. You did it" he murmured into my hair.

I was so spent I couldn't even answer him. Eventually, exhausted, I drifted off to sleep.

141ani *

Chapter 27.

Love is the greatest act of Faith.

-Lucinda Myer I woke in Tens's arms. Dried drool coated the sides of my mouth, and my eyes felt scratchy.

"Hi," he said.

I blinked up at him. "What time is it?" "Early, very early. Are you okay? You scared me." I stretched. Aside from the normal stiffness from sleeping on the floor, I felt okay.

"Excellent." Tens grinned. "Excellent?" I sat up. "Really. Really wonderful." All my former pains and aches that I'd lived with for so long were gone. The constant nausea and fatigue had vanished. "I feel good."

I loved the way Tens's eyes crinkled when he was truly happy and relaxed. He's going to kiss me. He's going to kiss me.

I leaned toward him, closing my eyes, holding my breath. I waited for his lips to brush mine as time slowed; I felt every thud of my heart.

Just as I almost felt his mouth flutter against mine, the ground shook and the doors rattled.

Explosions buffeted the house. Metal screamed and gla.s.s broke.

The force of the explosions rocked the house. I ran out onto the front porch, Tens right behind me. Custos barked from her place by the fire.

"What's going on?" Auntie called, her voice weak.

"Don't move," Tens shouted to her.

We skidded to a stop, staring down over the valley below us. We could see fireb.a.l.l.s billowing up into the sky. Inky black smoke billowed in the wind like the sail of a pirate s.h.i.+p. h.e.l.l had come to earth.

"The train,"' I breathed. From this distance it looked like a child's train set. Ash and debris hung in the air and blew against us. The smell -I can't even begin to describe the smell.

Hot metal, gas, fuel, and the sickening stench of human flesh.

"d.a.m.n." Tens gripped my shoulders. He checked his watch.

"That"s the five o'clock."

"Freight? Or people?" I let the question dangle.

"I don't know. You ask Auntie. I'm going to check the house." He raced through the hallway to the back of the house.

142ani I ran to Auntie's room. "The train -it's all jumbled, it's bad."

*Auntie opened her eyes. "Derailed?"

"I don't know." I said.

"It's a freight train that hooks on pa.s.senger cars."

"There are people on that?"

"Probably." She struggled to stand. "We have to go." I struggled to convince her to stay.

Tens jogged back in. "You're not going anywhere." Tens gently pushed Auntie back down.

"The house looks sound."

"I'm a nurse." She fought him, but it was like a b.u.t.terfly against a bear.

"You're a patient." Tens's tone brooked no argument.

She glanced past him to lock gazes with me. "There will be dying." The implication hovered between us.

Am I ready? Can I handle multiples? I don't know.

I swallowed. "You'll stay here?"

"She's not ready for so many. You haven't taught her enough." Tens's voice gained octaves and volume. I heard fear in it, so I rushed to rea.s.sure him.

"I am. I know how to close the window," I said, trying to sound positive and sure. But my insecurities screamed. How can I escape tangling in the energy of so many? How can I keep from being pulled through?

"She's not ready." Tens stepped in front of me and clasped my hands. "I'll go. I'll see how bad it is and come back. I'll drive you later."

I put my hand on his cheek. I loved that he wanted to protect me, but I knew he couldn't. I wouldn't let him. When it came down to it, I had to do this my way. "We'll be back when we're back. You can drive." I said to Tens, then brushed my lips against Auntie's forehead.

She whispered, "As long as you keep the window wide open and yourself firmly planted in the room, you'll be okay. Don't close the window until it's safe or a soul may break you trying to get through it. Use your instincts."

"But if I keep it open all the time -"

"Open isn't the problem. Stay where you can only barely feel the breeze, as if a fan blows at you but doesn't reach that far across the room. Then you won't tangle. Keep it big. Souls in pain like to get across fast. They'll crowd you. Stand your ground. You will make me proud.

You will make your family proud," Auntie patted my shoulder. "I love you. Feel that. Know it. Love will see you through this. You are ready."

143ani *I nodded, grabbing the first-aid kit and my coat and gloves. The world felt unseasonably warm. Tens followed me.

We couldn't get very close to the scene of the crash because of the terrain and the heat, so we parked and started running toward the train. A few volunteer firefighters screeched to a stop behind us, and I could hear sirens in the far distance. But not enough, not nearly enough. This was a big, under populated land; it was going to be several minutes, if not hours, before any experts arrived.

All around me, I heard a cacophony of pain. I felt it tug at me. Train cars scattered ahead of me in an almost unending path. They leaned in all directions as if kicked by a petulant child.

Rails had been ripped apart, and a crater the size of a luxury car was all that was left of the engine and front of the train. Fires burned, luggage was strewn in the slush. Corn poured out of one car while boxes of mail rolled to a stop down a hill and envelopes fluttered in the wind.

Tens tried to stay right next to me, guarding me. It took me a minute to realize he was trying to s.h.i.+eld me as we got closer. What once had been full lives, bodies full of life, were now scattered in pieces. I tried to detach, but I couldn't completely. I choked back the urge to vomit, trying not to get lost mourning the dead. Just then, a man yelled at Tens to help lift a steel door off a woman who'd been pinned, I pushed him into action and kept walking toward the worst-hit pa.s.senger cars.