Punch, or the London Charivari - BestLightNovel.com
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[Ill.u.s.tration: A SNUB.
_Hypatia Roland (to the Brown's Parlourmaid)._ "CALL ME A HANSOM, PLEASE."
_Cadby._ "I'M GOING YOUR WAY, MISS ROLAND. WE MIGHT GO TOGETHER."
_Miss Roland._ "_TWO_ HANSOMS, PLEASE!"]
"ALL'S WELL!"
A DUET.
_Re-arranged (for Lion and Bear) after Dibden._
["Several Russian newspapers publish articles ... declaring that an Anglo-Russian understanding would be of enormous advantage to the respective interests of the two nations, besides promoting European peace."--_Times._]
_Spoken._
_Russian Bear_ (_with effusion_). Now this is really delightful!
_British Lion_ (_cordially_). Most charming, I'm sure!
_R. Bear._ What I've longed for for ages!
_B. Lion._ What I've wished for centuries!
_R. Bear._ Strange how long we have been separated by pure prejudice!
_B. Lion._ Though our respective dens are so conveniently situated for mutual calls, and genial interchange of love and liquor!
_R. Bear._ Why, I like you _immensely_, now I see you near.
_B. Lion._ And I'm _enormously_ taken with _you_, at close quarters.
_R. Bear._ You have little of the Lion but its magnanimous courage.
_B. Lion._ And you have nothing of the Bear but its skin.
_R. Bear._ The kind things you have been saying about me lately have quite _touched_ me.
_B. Lion._ Don't mention it. You deserved 'em all. Delighted to render any little civilities to a near neighbour, especially in time of trouble.
_R. Bear_ (_much moved_). A thousand thanks! Leo! Let me embrace you.
No longer afraid of my hug, are you?
_B. Lion._ Not a bit of it! Oh! this is something _like_ a "Russian Advance!!!"
_R. Bear._ And this is indeed a right "British Greeting!!!"
_B. Lion_ (_aside_). Wonder what the Gallic Chanticleer thinks of _this!_
_R. Bear_ (_aside_). Fancy the Teutonic Eagle eyes us a leetle jealously.
_B. Lion_ (_aloud_). Well, let us meet often, Bruin, and talk things over amicably.
_R. Bear_ (_aloud_). We will, Leo, we will. Ah! _what_ a pity we _didn't know each other before!_
_B. Lion._ Yes, indeed. However, All's well that ends well!
_R. Bear._ "All's Well!" Ah! Cue for song! Let us warble!
_They sing:_--
Converted (rather late than soon), We peace proclaim,--thrice blessed boon!
We meet, as friends, on common ground; On sentry go no more tramp round; And _should_ our footsteps haply stray, Where treaties mark the warded way,-- "Who goes there?"-- Stranger quickly tell,-- "A friend!"
"The word!"
"_Comrades!_"
"ALL'S WELL!"
Or, steaming on the briny deep, Watch each on each we scarce need keep From off the ironclad's steel deck, Lest mutual foes meet common wreck.
Lord, no! If a strange hull draw near, A _friendly_ voice salutes each ear.
"What cheer?"-- Ho, brother, quickly tell!-- "Above!"
"Below!"
"_Messmates!_"
"ALL'S WELL!!!"
_1st Singer_ (_crescendo_). A-a-a-a-a-_bove!_
_2nd Singer_ (_diminuendo_). Be-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-LOW!!
_Tutti_ (_fortissimo_). A-A-A-A-LL'S WELL!!!
["_So mote it be!_" adds _Mr. P._]
