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I hobbled downstairs, the stairs and my ankles creaking. So intent are they on getting what they both want, they didn't notice me until I was at the chicken coop. 'Tea?'
They spring apart. Big Ears blushes like a tomato. Does she thank me for guarding her honour? No. She looks at me, arms folded, quite unabashed, though her legs are as wide apart as a man's. 'Yes. Tea.'
They come around to the entrance to the Tea Shack. She sits down, crosses her legs, and pulls lipstick and a mirror from her shoulder bag. He sits opposite her, and just stares, like a dog at the moon. 'Radio,' she orders. He gets a s.h.i.+ny little box out of his bag, and slides out a long wire. She takes it, touches the side, and suddenly a woman's voice is on the path, singing about love, the southern breeze, and p.u.s.s.y willows.
'Where's she coming from?'
The girl deigns to notice me. 'It's the latest hit from Macau.' She looks at the boy. 'Haven't you heard it?'
''Course I have,' he says, gruffly.
There are things I will never understand.
My father shrieked at me and the chickens squawked. 'You little s.l.u.t! You little fool! After everything I've done for you, after the sacrifices I've made, this is how you thank me! If it had been a boy, the Warlord's Son would have showered us with gifts! Showered us! We could have lived in his castle! I would have been appointed a dignitary with servants! Fruits from the islands! But why would anyone want to acknowledge that!'
He jabbed his fingernail into my baby's loins. My baby howled. Only five minutes old, and already learning. 'You've sold your chances of a decent marriage for a nightpot of watery s.h.i.+t!'
One of my aunts led him out.
The Tree was looking in, and smiling. 'Isn't she beautiful?' I asked.
The shadows and light on my baby's face were leafy and green.
A few days later, it was agreed that my daughter would be raised with relatives living three days' ride downstream. A large landowning household, one more daughter could be slipped in without much fuss. An uncle told me that the distance would conceal the shame I'd inflicted on our family's honour. My chast.i.ty was gone for ever, of course. Perhaps in a few years some widower pig farmer might be persuaded to take me in as a mistress and nurse for his old age. If I was lucky.
I resolved then and there not to be lucky.
These same uncles all agreed that the j.a.panese would never get this far down the Yangtze, nor this far into the mountains. And supposing they did? Everyone knows how j.a.panese soldiers need more oxygen than humans, so they could never get up the Holy Mountain. The war had nothing to do with us. Many of the village sons were conscripted by the Warlord, and sent to fight on the side of some kind of alliance, but that was beyond the Valley, where the world is less real. Places called Manchuria, Mongolia, and further.
My uncles never knew truth from chickens.h.i.+t. I dreamed of a clay jar of rice in the cave. When I asked a monk what it meant, he told me it was a suggestion from Lord Buddha.
When the Holy Mountain is windy, sounds from afar are blown near, and nearby sounds are blown away. The Tea Shack creaks my lazy father never lifted a hammer in his life and the Tree creaks. That's why we didn't hear them until they had kicked the windows in.
My father was climbing into the cupboard. I listened, nervous, but already resigned to whatever fate Lord Buddha had laid out for me. I wrapped my shawl around me. They didn't speak valley language. They didn't even speak Cantonese, or Mandarin. They made animal noises. I spied through the cracks in the planking. It was difficult to see in the lamp light, but they looked almost human. My village cousins had told me that foreigners had elephant noses and hair like dying monkeys, but these ones looked a lot like us. On their uniforms was sewn insignia that looked like a headache a red dot with red stripes of pain flas.h.i.+ng out.
Lights were shone into our faces, and rough hands hauled us downstairs. The room was full of beams of lantern light, men, pots and pans being overturned. Our moneybox was found and smashed open. That headache insignia. A thing with wings swung above. The smell of men, men, always men. We were brought before a man with spectacles and a waxy moustache.
I was the breadwinner, but I looked at the floor.
'A nice cup of green tea, perhaps,' my father wrestled through a stammer, 'sir?'
This one could speak. Strange Cantonese, squeezed through a mangler. 'We are your liberators. We are requisitioning this wayside inn in the name of His Imperial Egg of j.a.pan. The Holy Mountain now belongs to the Asian Sphere of Co-prosperity. We are here to percolate our Sick Mother China from the evil of the European imperialists. Except the Germans, who are a tribe of honour and racial purity.'
'Oh,' said my father. 'That's good. I like honour. And I'm a sick father.'
The door banged opened I thought it was a gunshot and a soldier wearing a gallery of medals came in. Waxy Moustache saluted Medal Man, and shouted animal noises. Medal Man peered at my father, then at me. He smiled from the corner of his mouth. He made some quiet animal noises to the other soldiers.
Waxy Moustache barked at my father. 'You have harboured fugitives in your inn!'
'No, sir, we hate that goatf.u.c.king Warlord! His son raped my daughter here!'
Waxy Moustache translated this into animal noises to Medal Man. Medal Man raised his eyebrows in surprise, and grunted back.
'My men are pleased to hear your daughter provides comfort to pa.s.sers-by. But we are displeased to hear your slur of our ally, the Warlord. He is working with us to purge the Valley of communism.'
'Of course, when I said-'
'Silence!'
Medal Man forced the mouth of his gun into my father's mouth. 'Bite,' he said.
Medal Man looked into my father's eyes. 'Harder.'
Medal Man uppercutted my father's chin. My father spat out bits of tooth. Medal Man chortled. My father's blood dripped to the floor in flower-splashes. He staggered back into a tub of water, as though he had rehea.r.s.ed it.
The soldier holding me relaxed his grip as he laughed. I staved in his kneecap with a bottle of oil and sent the lamp in my face flying across the room. Whoever it hit screamed and dropped something that smashed. I ducked and ran for the door. Lord Buddha slipped a bra.s.s chopstick into my hand, and opened the door for me as my fingertips touched it, and shut it behind me. There were three men outside one got a good grip, but I stuck the bra.s.s chopstick through the side of his mouth and he let go. The j.a.panese soldiers followed me up the path, but it was a moonless night, and I knew every rock, curve, bear path and fox trail. I slipped off the path, and heard them vanish into the distance.
My heart had slowed by the time I reached the cave. The Holy Mountain fell away below me, and the windy forest moved like the ocean in my dreams. I wrapped myself in my shawl, and watched the light of heaven s.h.i.+ne through the holes in the night until I fell asleep.
My father was black with bruises, but he was up and limping through the wreckage of the Tea Shack. His mouth looked like a rotting potato. 'You caused this,' he scowled by way of greeting, 'you fix it. I'm going to stay with my brother. I'll be back in two or three days.' My father hobbled off down the path. When he returned he had become an old man waiting to die. That was weeks later.
My daughter was blossoming into a local beauty, my aunts told me. Her guardian had already turned down two proposals of marriage, and she was still only twelve. The guardian was setting his sights high: if the Kuomintang forces took over the Valley soon, he could possibly arrange a union with a Nationalist administrator. He might even get himself a fat appointment as a clause in the marriage negotiations. A photographer had been paid to take her picture, which was being circulated amongst possible suitors in high places. When I wintered in the Village an aunt brought me one of these photographs. She had a lily in her hair, and a chaste, invisible smile. My heart glowed with pride, and never stopped.
My daughter's father, the Warlord's Son, never lived to see her blossom. This causes me no sorrow. He got butchered by a neighbouring Warlord in alliance with the Kuomintang. He, his father, and the rest of his clan were captured, roped and bound, slung onto a pile at a crossroads down in the Valley, doused in oil and burnt alive. The crows and dogs fought over the cooked meat.
Lord Buddha promised to protect my daughter from the demons, and my Tree promised that I would see her again.
Far, far below, a temple bell gongs, the surface of the dawn ripples, and turtledoves fly from the wall of forest, up, and up. Always up.
A government official strutted downbound out of the mist. I guessed he'd been driven to the summit. I recognised his face from his grandfather's. His grandfather had sc.r.a.ped a living from the roads and market-places in the Valley, shovelling up manure and selling it to local farmers. An honest, if lowly, way to get by.
His grandson sat down at my table, and slung his leather bag onto the table. Out of his bag he produced a notebook, an account book, a metal strong-box, and a bamboo stamp. He started writing in his notebook, looking up at the Tea Shack from time to time, as though he was thinking about buying it.
'Tea,' he said presently, 'and noodles.'
I began preparing his order.
'This,' he said, showing me a card with his picture and name on it, 'is my party ID. My identification. It never leaves my person.'
'Why do you need to carry a picture of yourself around? People can see what you look like. You're in front of them.'
'It says I am a Local Cadre Party Leader.'
'I dare say people work that out for themselves.'
'This mountain has been incorporated into a State Tourism Designation Area.'
'What's that in plain Chinese?'
'Turnpikes will be placed around the approach routes to charge people to climb.'
'But the Holy Mountain has been here since the beginning of time!'
'It's now a State a.s.set. It has to earn its keep. We charge people 1 yuan to climb it, and 30 yuan for the foreign b.a.s.t.a.r.ds. Traders on State a.s.set Property need a trading licence. That includes you.'
I tipped his noodles into a bowl, and poured boiling water onto the tea-leaves.
'Then give me one of these licences.'
'Gladly. That will be 200 yuan, please.'
'What? My Tea Shack has stood here for thousands of years!'
He leafed through his account book. 'Then perhaps I should consider charging you back rent.'
I bent behind the counter and spat into his noodles, stirring them around so my phlegm was good and mixed. I straightened up, chopped some green onions, and sprinkled them on. I put them in front of him.
'I've never heard such nonsense.'
'Old woman, I don't make the rules. This order is direct from Beijing. Tourism is a prime thrust of Socialist Modernisation. We earn dollars from tourists. I know you don't even know what a dollar is, and don't even try to understand economics, because you can't. But understand this: the Party orders you to pay.'
'I've heard all about the Party from my cousins in the Village! Your bubbling baths and your flash cars and your queue-jumping and stupid conferences and-'
'Shut your ignorant mouth now if you want to make a living from the People's Mountain! The Party has developed our Motherland for half a century and more! Everyone else has paid! Even the monasteries have paid! Who are you, or your chicken-f.u.c.king country cousins, to dare think you know best? Two hundred yuan, now, or I'll be back in the morning with the Party's police officers to close you down and throw you in gaol for non-payment! We'll truss you up like a pig, and carry you down the mountain! Think of the shame! Or, pay what you owe. Well? I'm waiting!'
'You're in for a long wait then! I don't have 200 yuan! I only make 50 yuan in a season! What am I supposed to live on?'
The official slurped up his noodles. 'You'll have to shut up shop and ask your country cousins to let you pick fleas from their sows in the corner. And if your noodles weren't so salty you might sell more.'
If I'd been a man I've have thrown him into my cess-pit, Party official or no Party official. But he had the upper hand, here, and he knew it.
I unfolded a 10-yuan note from my ap.r.o.n pocket. 'It must be a difficult job, keeping track of all the Tea Shacks up and down the Mountain, who's paid what...'
He swished out his mouth with green tea, and sluiced out a jet that spattered against my window. 'Bribery? Corruption? Cancer in the b.r.e.a.s.t.s of our Motherland! If you think I'm going to agree to postpone the victory of socialism, to smear the bright new age that is our nation's glorious destiny-'
I unfolded another 20 yuan. 'That's all I have.'
He pocketed the money. 'Boil those eggs, and pack them with those tomatoes.'
I had to do as he said. Once a s.h.i.+t shoveller, always a s.h.i.+t shoveller.
Two monks ran out of the mist, upbound, gasping.
Running monks are as unusual as honest officials. 'Rest,' I said, unfolding a fresh cloth for them. 'Rest.'
They nodded gratefully and sat down. I always serve Lord Buddha's servants the best tea for free. The younger monk wiped the sweat from his eyes. 'The Kuomintang are coming! Two thousand of them. The Village was being abandoned when we left. Your father was climbing into his cousin's cart they were going into the hills.'
'I've seen it all before. The j.a.panese wrecked my Tea Shack.'
'The Kuomintang make the j.a.panese look civilised,' said the elder monk. 'They are wolves. They loot what food and treasure they can carry, and burn or poison what they can't. In a village down the Valley they cut off a boy's head just to poison a well!'
'Why?'
'The communists are gaining momentum all over China now, despite the American bombs. The Kuomintang have nothing to lose. I've heard they're heading to Taiwan to join Chiang Kaishek, and have orders to bring what they can. They sc.r.a.ped the gold leaf off the temple Buddhas at Leshan.'
'It's true!' The younger monk shook some grit from his sandal. 'Don't let them get you! You have about five hours. Hide everything deep in the forest, and be careful when you come back. There might be some stragglers. Please! We'd hate to see anything happen to you!'
I gave the monks some money to burn incense for my daughter's safety, and they left, running up through the mist. I hid my best cooking utensils high in my Tree, and, asking His pardon, hid Lord Buddha up above where the violets grew.
The mist cleared, and it was suddenly autumn. When the wind blew the leaves streamed up the path like rats before a sorcerer.
The trees grew as tall as the Holy Mountain itself. Their canopy was the lawn of heaven. Follow Follow, said the unicorn's eyes. Lay your hand on my shoulder Lay your hand on my shoulder. Corridors of bark and darkness led to further corridors of bark and darkness. My guide had hoofs of ivory. I was lost, and happy to be lost. We came to a garden at the bottom of a well of light and silence. Over an intricate bridge inlaid with jade and amber, lotus flowers and orchids swayed gently. Bronze and silver carp swam with the dark owls around my head. This is a peaceful place This is a peaceful place, I thought to the unicorn. Will you stay awhile? Will you stay awhile?
Mother, thought the unicorn, a tear growing bigger and bigger in her human eye. thought the unicorn, a tear growing bigger and bigger in her human eye. Mother, don't you recognise me? Mother, don't you recognise me?
I awoke with the saddest feeling.
Hiding in my cave, watching the rain, I wished I could change into a bird, or a pebble, or a fern, or a deer, like lovers in old stories. On the third day the sky cleared. The smoke from the Village had stopped. I cautiously returned to my Tea Shack. Wrecked again. Always, it is the poor people who pay. And always, it is the poor people's women who pay the most. I set about clearing up the mess. What choice is there?
The communists came with early summer. There were only four of them two men, two women. They were young, and wore neat uniforms and pistols. My Tree told me they were coming. I warned my father, who, as usual, was asleep in his hammock. He opened one eye: 'f.u.c.k 'em, they're all the same. Only the badges and medals change.' My father was dying as he had lived. With the minimum effort possible.
The communists asked if they could sit down in my Tea Shack and talk with me. They called each other 'Comrade' and addressed me respectfully and gently. One of the men was the lover of one of the women I could see that immediately. I wanted to trust them, but they kept smiling while I talked. I've always been wronged by smilers.
The communists listened to my complaints. They didn't seem to want anything, except for green tea. They just wanted to give things. They wanted to give things, like education, even to girls. Health care, so that the ancient plague of China would be vanquished. They wanted an end to exploitation in factories and on the land. An end to hunger. They wanted to restore dignity to motherhood. China, they said, was no longer the sick old man of Asia. A New China was emerging from somewhere called Feudalism, and the New China would lead the New Earth. It would be here in five years' time, because the international revolution of the proletariat was a historical inevitability. Everybody would have their own car in the future, they said. Our children's children would go to work by flying machine. Because everyone would have enough for their needs, and so crime would naturally die out.
'Your leaders must know powerful magic.'
'Yes,' said one of the women. 'The magic is called Marx, Stalin, Lenin, and Cla.s.s Dialectics.'
It didn't sound very convincing magic to me.
My father rolled out of his hammock. 'Tea,' he told me. 'We're very glad to see the communists bring a bit of order to our Valley and Mountain,' he said, looking at the girls and picking his teeth with his thumbnail. 'The Nationalists raped her.' He jerked his head at me. 'Must have been desperate.'
I felt hot shame rising. Had he really forgotten it was the Warlord's Son? The girl who was in love came over and held my hand. Such a young hand, it was, so pure that I was afraid for it.
'The old regimes violated plenty of women. That was their way of life. In Korea the j.a.panese Army herded up all the girls in a towns.h.i.+p, gave them j.a.panese names, and they spent the whole war on their backs. But those days are gone now.'
'Yes,' said one of the men. 'China has been raped by capitalists and imperialists for centuries. Feudalism relegated women to cattle. Capitalism bought and sold women like cattle.'
I wanted to tell him he didn't know anything about being violated, but the woman was being so kind to me, I could barely speak. Other than my Tree and Lord Buddha, n.o.body had ever shown me such kindness. She promised to bring me medicine, if I needed any. They were kind, bright and brave. They addressed my father as 'sir', and even paid for their tea.