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I shuffle a little, making my leg move, and Alex lets out a moaning grunt. I go completely rigid like a dumba.s.s, giving myself away. I wait, but the silence stretches, neither of us calling the other out.
I want to remain still, but my traitorous body takes over, needing to hear that sound again. I shuffle against him again, wanting more of his warmth to seep into me. I feel like burrowing so deep into his heat, I could never get out. I'd never be alone again.
Instantly, I'm on my back. Alex's big body is over mine as he buries his face in my neck. He's so big compared to me, and I'm completely covered beneath him. Fear doesn't hit me at the sudden change in position. A strong dose of l.u.s.t ripples up my spine and floods my system. It's like nothing I've ever felt before, and I'm immediately addicted.
I lift my hips, needing the contact, letting my legs fall open even more.
"Please. You have to stop." His voice seems strangled and almost pained, but for some reason I can't stop. It's like I no longer have control of my body. Maybe this is what happens when you let yourself go without physical attention for so long. The need for human contact becomes stronger than you can control.
I grip his biceps, my nails digging into his firm muscles. I just need a little more pressure. It's so close I can feel it. I push my hips up against him, using him for my pleasure. I drag my s.e.x against his, but he remains completely still over me. His hold is firm and steady, and my hips move at just the right angle, and that's all it takes. I explode against him, his name pouring from my lips and filling the silent room. The delicious pleasure cascades through my body as heat spreads between us.
I hold on to him so tightly, as if he'll disappear if I release him. Not wanting to let this moment go, I cling to him. For so long I dreamed of having him over me and now that it's a reality, I can't let it end. The distance he's always tried to keep between us vanishes in this moment, and I'm going to savor it.
When I start to come down, the reality of what I just did hits me. I just rubbed myself against him, using him for my own pleasure. I hear and feel his heavy breathing on top of me, both our bodies gasping for air, filling the silence that seems to hang between us constantly. It's a silence I long to fill with words I can't bring myself to say.
Then he's gone. His warmth leaves my body, taking all of mine with him as he shoots from the bed. The blanket that was covering us. .h.i.ts the floor. The cold air makes gooseb.u.mps break out all over my body. He doesn't say a word as he storms from the room, slamming the door behind him so hard I swear I feel the bed shake.
"Holy s.h.i.+t," I whisper to myself. That's when I feel the wetness that's coating the outside of my underwear.
He came.
I thought c.u.mming was a good thing. Clearly Alex isn't happy about it. He stormed from the room like his a.s.s was on fire. Oh, my G.o.d. Did I force myself on him? Wait, under him. Can you force yourself under someone?
I roll over, shoving my face into the pillows. Could this get any more awkward? What is wrong with me? Could I have been any clingier? I'm all too happy to crawl into his bed and strip down at his suggestion. A little self-conscious at the time, but that didn't seem to stop me from throwing my clothes off and snuggling deep into his bed. I invited him to join me even after he seemed to want to sleep on the freaking floor.
Clue in, Noelle.
Frustrated, I grab the pillow and throw it across the room. Sitting up, I lean against the headboard and try to think of a way out of this. Maybe I could sneak out in the morning.
This is all so confusing. One minute I felt like he wants to be near me, as if he is longing for me like I am for him. Then the next, it's like having cold water thrown on me.
I remember the sensation of him over me and how it felt so right. The way my hands gripped him tightly, never wanting to let go. The scars under my fingertips. The scars.
It all starts clicking together. He won't look at me. My heart clenches. Does he really think I'm so vain, or do the scars just bother him that much? I haven't seen all of him, but from what I've seen and felt, he's perfect. How he could doubt himself, I have no idea. He is pure male perfection.
I have my flaws, too. My skin may be free of scars, but I carry my own marks. I don't have a perfect hard body like his. I have wide hips and thick thighs. I'm not what you'd call pretty or s.e.xy. Maybe a nerdy kind of cute, but I've often thought I'm a little mousy. Random stretch marks litter my body. They're not scars like his, but they mark me, and I often feel self-conscious about them.
Maybe I could show him it doesn't matter to me. That none of it does. I didn't fall for him because of what he looks like. h.e.l.l, I was half in love with him before I ever even saw him. Climbing from the bed, I unhook my bra and drop it to the floor, my panties following suit. I take a deep breath to calm my now-racing heart, and I give myself a pep talk. I can do this. It's all or nothing.
At this point I've got nothing to lose. Either he wants nothing to do with me and I've lost him from my life, or maybe he does want something from me and is too scared to act on it. I can show Alex that I want him by baring myself to him like I want him to do for me.
When I'm standing in front of the door, I give myself one last pep talk. Stop living in your head, and take what you want. As I pull the door handle, I come face to face with Alex. He's got both hands braced on the door, and his tall form towers over me.
I gasp at the look on his face.
Hunger, longing, need. It's all there as his eyes roam my naked body before landing back on my face. The angry-looking scars on the left side of his face run down to his neck. They look like they've healed over time but still look painful.
I reach to touch him, but he's on me instantly. He lifts me into his arms. My feet dangle off the floor as his lips crash onto mine. All the hunger I saw in his eyes bleeds through in his kiss. His tongue pushes into my mouth, taking what it wants. I never knew you could feel so much from a kiss. That it could tell you everything you wanted to know.
He wants me. It's there in the way he's kissing me. He pulls me closer like he's trying to enfold his body in mine. I'm lost in him. I know from this moment on I'll never be the same. I can feel it in every fiber of my body. I'm his.
I feel my back hit the bed, his big body over mine once again. His ma.s.sive hands come to my face, holding me in place as if he thinks I might try to break away from the kiss. I wrap my arms around him as I kiss him back just as hard, silently showing him I'm not going anywhere. That I'll stay here forever if he asks.
When my hands start to travel over his body, wanting to feel him, he breaks the kiss and buries his face in my neck once again. It's as if he finds it painful for me to rub my hands on him. I won't let him pull away again, so this time I lock my legs around him, my naked body wrapped so tightly around him that if he tries to dart from the room, he'll be taking me with him.
"Look at me."
Chapter 8.
Alex
Closing my eyes tightly, I fight the urge to keep my face buried in her neck. I don't want to look at her, but I can't deny her what she wants.
I look into her beautiful, soft brown eyes, letting her see me. All of me. Her eyes lock with mine, and I wait as they trail down my face and neck. She looks at every mark, then slowly brings her fingertip up to my face, tracing each scar with her gentle touch. Closing my eyes, I breathe in her scent as she explores me.
Having her under my body and rubbing her p.u.s.s.y against my hard c.o.c.k was my undoing. When I first felt her move earlier, I couldn't control myself and had her pinned beneath me before I thought about what I was doing. I was already on edge when she wrapped her little compact body around me when she was sleeping. It was like the most natural thing in the world for her to do. Then when she rubbed herself to an o.r.g.a.s.m on my c.o.c.k, I came all over her. The tip of my c.o.c.k peeked out of the waistband of my underwear as she rubbed up and down, exposing some of me. When I felt her heat through my underwear and then the clenches of her o.r.g.a.s.m, I pressed the tip of my c.o.c.k to her panty-covered c.l.i.t and came with her. The o.r.g.a.s.m was fast and unexpected and did nothing to quench my desire for her. It was merely a small drop from the fountain of need I have for her. In fact, it just intensified it.
When I bolted from the room, I immediately regretted leaving her warmth, and turned, gripping the frame of the door to keep myself from going back in. I didn't want to frighten her. Not only with the way I look, but by being some kind of animal and c.u.mming on her like that. But the longer I stood out there, the more I realized that Noelle wanted me. She may not have seen the worst of me, but in her sleep she reached for me. And when she woke up, she still wanted to be near me.
Just as I was about to push the door open, there she stood, completely naked. I didn't stop to think about what I was doing. I just scooped her up and took her back to the bed. I needed her under me, no matter the cost.
As I feel her fingers trail down my chest, I open my eyes to look down at her again. Pressing my hard, underwear-covered c.o.c.k against her naked p.u.s.s.y, I grind down on her, needing another release.
"Alex," she whispers, rubbing both of her hands across my chest.
"I have so many things I want to say, Noelle. I don't know where to begin." All these words and emotions are running through me, and I'm all jumbled up. I want to f.u.c.k her roughly against every available surface, and then I want to make love to her in all the same places. I want to tell her how much I need her and how addicted I am to her, but I don't want her to reject me. I need to steal this time from her before she finds out how truly gone I am for her and leaves this cabin.
"Make love to me, Alex. Please." Her eyes meet mine, and I can see need in them. I see something else, too, but I don't know what it is. l.u.s.t? Something stronger?
"I...Noelle."
"Don't make me beg." She laughs a little, running her hands through my hair and then down my face. Suddenly, she sobers a little, holding me tighter. "I've never done this before, but I need you, Alex. I feel it deep in my soul. I need you inside me."
f.u.c.k.
Her words shouldn't break me in two, but they do. Knowing that she wants part of me inside her body, taking her first. I'll be the last, too, if I have anything to say about it. Maybe I could chain her to me. Leave something of me inside her so she'll never be free of me.
Leaning down, I take her lips in a pa.s.sionate kiss, telling her with my body what I can't say in words. I kiss down her chin and neck, licking the dip at her collarbone and running my teeth along the sensitive skin there. I feel her shudder under me as I move down, licking each of her nipples and biting the flesh of her b.r.e.a.s.t.s. My big hands squeeze them together, loving each one equally.
Noelle's moans fill the room, and I s.h.i.+ver at her voice. It's so erotic and sensual. It's as if all the fantasies I've ever had of her reading to me have come to life.
"Talk to me, Noelle. Tell me all the things you want me to do to you. I'm addicted to your voice."
As I lick down her stomach, still pinching her nipples as I move lower, she starts to tell me what she wants.
"Please, Alex. I need you between my thighs and licking my p.u.s.s.y. Don't tease me. I'm so close to c.u.mming just having you on top of me."
Once again the sound of her voice soothes me and makes me impossibly hard. I move down between her legs, shouldering apart her thighs and making room for my broad body.
Pressing my face to her p.u.s.s.y, I inhale her sweetness. Her lower lips, already sticky from her earlier o.r.g.a.s.m, dampen with need. I stick my tongue out and flatten it against her c.l.i.t, giving her long thick licks. Her moans grow louder and louder as I taste her nectar, the flavor coating my tongue and intensifying my addiction. I growl against her p.u.s.s.y, thinking about how it's untouched and how she wants me to be the one to take it for the first time.
I have no clue how someone so perfect is untouched. How has no one taken her as their own yet? I'll lock her in my cabin and keep her forever.
Moving down just a little, I stick my tongue inside her, feeling a tight squeeze from her needy p.u.s.s.y.
"Baby, I don't know if I'll fit," I say, kissing the inside of her thigh and moving back up to suck on her c.l.i.t.
"f.u.c.k!" she shouts, as the suction on her c.l.i.t makes her back bow off the bed. "I'll make it. I need you, Alex. Please."
Biting down just a little on her c.l.i.t, I flick my tongue across it a few times before I feel her start to tense up. Just as she's about to o.r.g.a.s.m, I press two thick fingers inside her p.u.s.s.y. I rub the sweet spot just inside her, and it only takes two strokes before she's c.u.mming on my fingers and in my mouth.
She reaches down, fisting my hair and screaming loudly as the fierce o.r.g.a.s.m flows through her body. Her p.u.s.s.y clamps down on my fingers, but I don't move, still rubbing and sucking her off.
The taste of her o.r.g.a.s.m is even sweeter than how she tasted before she came, and my c.o.c.k leaks c.u.m in response. He wants to have that sweetness coating him.
Once I've wrung the last of her o.r.g.a.s.m from her, I give her sweet c.l.i.t one last kiss and move up her body. I push down my underwear as I go, kicking it off, wanting to be naked with her. As I line my bare c.o.c.k with her opening, it occurs to me that as she's a virgin she probably isn't protected.
I grab the base of my c.o.c.k and hold myself there as I look into her eyes. She's got a slight sheen of sweat across her forehead, and her cheeks are flushed from her powerful o.r.g.a.s.m.
"I want you raw, Noelle. Nothing between us. I'll take care of you if I get you pregnant, but I won't wear a condom with you. Not ever." She looks into my eyes, and after a second she licks her lips and nods. "I've never ridden bareback before, but I won't have anything between us." She nods again. I know I'm clean. I haven't been with anyone in years. I didn't even have a desire to after the first time I heard Noelle's voice. From that moment I knew another wouldn't do. I thought I could never have her and was planning to be celibate for the rest of my life because I knew I'd never want another.
I lean down slightly so she doesn't miss what I'm about to say. "I won't pull out either. Once I get inside you, I'm c.u.mming in you."
Her breath catches, but once again she nods. I feel her lift her hips in invitation, and all I can hope is that my seed clings to her womb and I bind us together forever.
I press my c.o.c.k to her opening, and at the first touch of her heat, I thrust in hard, breaking through her virginity in one movement. I didn't want to cause her prolonged pain, so I thought popping her cherry in one thrust would be best.
Feeling her tense under me, I wonder if I did the right thing. I brace my elbows on either side of her head, rubbing her forehead and trying to soothe her with kisses. After a moment, the pain seems to ease, and she starts to clench around me.
Her p.u.s.s.y is tighter than anything I've ever felt, and it's squeezing me almost to the point of pain. I have to grit my teeth and fight myself not to c.u.m, not wanting to end this too soon.
I start to make small shallow thrusts, working my way up to fully moving in and pulling out. After a few more strokes, Noelle is moaning and scratching at my back, begging me to go harder. I bury my face in her neck and give her what she wants, all the while trying not to c.u.m too soon.
I feel her legs go around my waist, her heels digging into my a.s.s. I moan at the feeling of being inside her tight body. The sound of our s.e.xes slapping the sticky pa.s.sion between us is loud in the quiet room.
"Oh, G.o.d, Noelle." I take her mouth again in a kiss like no other, trying to make her feel what I feel.
Her p.u.s.s.y clamps down on me one final time as her body explodes in an o.r.g.a.s.m. I swallow her cries, wanting to devour her pa.s.sion, as I thrust into her and release my own o.r.g.a.s.m. I feel the c.u.m pump out of me as her p.u.s.s.y squeezes it from my c.o.c.k. My seed coats her unprotected womb, possibly making a baby to bind her to me.
The thought has me pumping even more c.u.m into her, wanting her to be mine in every way.
Once we've both come down from our peaks, I kiss her lips softly and smile down at her. I feel like I'm floating, and at the same time I'm completely spent.
Not wanting to pull out of her, I roll us over so my big body isn't crus.h.i.+ng hers. She lies across my chest, and I play with her hair, whispering all the ways I'm going to love her body tonight.
Chapter 9.
Noelle
"That was..." I trail off, searching for the words for what that was. My body feels like Jell-O, and I have no desire to leave this spot for the rest of my life. His c.o.c.k is still nestled deep inside me, as hard as he was when he first entered.
"Perfection," Alex finishes for me, drawing my eyes up to his. I see a fire dancing in the deep blue depths. 'Perfection' works, but it was more than that. All of this feels...life-changing. He holds my stare this time, not looking away as he gives me a clear view of his face. The fire lends a glow to the room, letting me see all of what he's been trying to hide.
I don't want to hide. I'm sick of this game. Just like when I got naked and went after him, I'm going to throw my cards on the table. All or nothing. I can't go back to what we had before. Not even just working for him, but being forced to have daily calls with him and not being with him would rip me in two. There's no going back. I'll just fling myself over the cliff and I pray he's going to catch me.
"I've wanted this for so long." His eyes widen a little at my words like he's shocked by them. How he doesn't get it, I have no freaking idea. Any red-blooded woman would want him. He's beautiful in a rough manly kind of way. His scars only add to his whole appeal. After all the romance novels I've read, I seem to have found my own sweet, brooding, scared hero. I want to keep him, and I want him to want to keep me, too.
He said things when we were making love. How much of that was heat of the moment babbling, and how much was real?
"I've wanted you since the first time heard your voice. Before you ever even knew I existed," he admits. The words he said to me when we were making love ring through my mind. "Talk to me, Noelle. Tell me all the things you want me to do to you. I'm addicted to your voice."
"You're addicted to my voice?"
He huffs out a laugh. "Yeah." He rolls us both so I'm pinned under him again. "Your voice is where it started. Now I think I'm addicted to every part of you. Your eyes, your lips, your innocence, your body and the way you can talk to me for hours on end and just let me listen. The way you get comfortable in silence and the way your breath does this little hitch every time you do a narration and the hero says 'I love you.' All of it. Every part of it. I could go on for days."
"But you..." I search my brain, trying to put everything together. So much of this has seemed one-sided for so long. "I didn't think you wanted me."
"Does this feel like I don't want you?" His c.o.c.k slides out of me a little and thrusts back in.
"You're a man. The wind makes you hard," I tease, wiggling my hips, wanting him to do that again.
"I hadn't gotten hard since the accident until I heard your voice. Now I can't seem to get un-hard." The smile on his face lets me know that this doesn't seem to bother him in the least.
That shouldn't make me happy, but it does. That I have some special power-that only I can get him off-pleases me.